Brilliant Minds and Black Hearts
by Chuckling-Ghost
Summary: Koga Kurohyou is a lot of things. Way too smart and skilled for someone his age, utterly devious and on occasion a bit morally reprehensible, one of Konoha's budding ace shinobi, and now the beloved best friend of Naruko Uzumaki. With a mind far beyond his years and a heart as black as coal, what will he do with his own personal ball of sunshine to look out for?
1. Chapter 1: The House

Chapter 1 – The House

I stepped out my door and walked to my car. I stopped after three quick steps. I was late for work, I was in a hurry. I was also quite emphatically not at all where I was supposed to be. I turned around, kept turning, looked at the door I had just walked out of, poked my head back in. Yep, still the inside of my humble little two room abode in there, but the back windows were gone, something I hadn't noticed when I woke up with the lights off, and the door was now a wooden one set into the side of a wood paneled wall.

I turned and looked out over the balcony at the city below me and then as I kept swiveling my head, I spotted something that made my brain break a little. Because really, who expects to walk out their front door on the way to work and step into Konoha? _Which is not supposed to even be real!_ My eye twitched and I nodded thinking to myself, _Alright, time to just, go back to bed. I'm clearly dreaming and I will undoubtedly wake up before anything good happen…what is that?_

I pulled the letter taped onto my door off, _this wasn't here a minute ago…_ and I started to read.

 _Congratulations! You have just woken up in a Naruto fanfiction where simply having a somewhat viable brain and common sense will be enough to qualify as nearly story breaker levels of awesomeness. Everyone here is lacking in common sense and creativity, apply those things as you please and this world is your plaything! The powers of the gods are…well still pretty dang god like, but you can still beat them with your wit and guile provided they don't blast you to paste right off the bat!_

 _Oh, by the way, you're about to physically become a little kid enrolled in Naruko's class so that you can learn how to function in this world. Your new name is Koga Kurohyou, no other information is available about you to anyone. Your words will be automatically translated into the native language of the listener and you will be able to understand them in return, this also applies to kanji which is what you're reading now. Consider the upcoming years your tutorial. Now go on, you'd better hurry or you'll be late! (Map's on the back)_

 _Sincerely,_

 _The Author_

I twitched as the world shifted in size. Everything was suddenly a lot bigger. I frowned, thought for a moment, weighed my options and then took off with a big grin, following the map into my new life. Dream or not, I wanted to make the most of it.

==Ten Minutes Later==

I skidded into the classroom and spun upright to my feet with my hands raised in front of me, both index fingers extended in a quirky little gesture as I smiled, "I'm not late am I? Sorry, it took me a minute to find the room." A tall man with a large scar and a spiky ponytail who could only be Iruka looked at the clock, "No, you're actually just in time. What's your name?"

I smiled as the name that my little letter had given me rolled easily off my tongue, so easily one might've almost mistaken it for honesty. The joys of being a fantastic liar in a little kid's body! Iruka checked his roster and nodded. "Alright, take a seat," Iruka instructed. I nodded and quickly scanned the room, rapidly deciding to plonk my behind by the really pretty little blonde with the perfect blue eyes in the worn out t-shirt.

I smiled at her as warmly as I could, "Hi, I'm Koga. What's your name?" The little girl smiled a smile that seemed like extract of sunshine, "I'm Naruko! Do you want to be my friend?" I blinked as the name registered and then I wrapped an arm around her and pulled her into a one armed hug, "Best friends!" That was apparently the _very_ right answer because I immediately got a hug and forever after that, Naruko stuck to me like glue whenever she could. As much fun as she was, I didn't mind in the slightest.

==After Class==

We, or rather I, wound up pulling off that little incident that made Hinata look up to Naruto in canon. It quite surprised me, but even if I hadn't immediately realized it was Hinata, I like to think I would've jumped in and helped out a little girl being picked on by three boys double her size. It was then that I realized I had maintained at least a significant amount of my former strength. Someone my size should not have been able to smack those three around like that. It was the first time I could remember having moved that fast in quite some time, and it felt _awesome._ The cracking my knuckles over the three fallen bullies and asking what they'd learned about bullying prompting them to all take off and run like hell itself was after them felt pretty damn epic too.

After they had turned the corner, I snorted in their general direction and then turned a smile on Hinata, "You alright Hyuga-chan?" Hinata stared at me in shock and then nodded with a smile, "Yes, thank you!" I smiled, "Don't worry about it. It's what I do." I turned and strolled off waving over my shoulder as I saw Hinata's body guard come rushing up, "See ya around Hyuga-chan!"

I walked Naruko home, chatting and smiling the whole way as she told me of all her likes, dislikes and grand dreams. Summed up simply, likes ramen and the Hokage, hates being ignored and wants to be Hokage. Before either of us knew it, we were at a large imposing building which honestly looked more like a prison than an orphanage, and just as soon as we saw it, Naruko's smile disappeared.

It was an awful thing to see, that beautiful sunny smile just vanishing like that, and the look that replaced it was worse. If I hadn't been able to guess it was bad, that look of…it wasn't quite dread or terror, but certainly a strong "never want to go there again but I have to". I looked at her, "Naruko, what is this place?" "The orphanage," Naruko said quietly with her eyes downcast, "I'm an orphan so I live here because nobody loves me."

I refuse to admit to squeaking with outrage, but I might have squawked. To foster such a mindset in a _child_ , especially one so bright and sunny and as far as I could tell utterly wonderful…If not for the fact that there were probably other kids in that horrid place, I'd have found a box of matches and torched it on the spot. No, I probably would've lit up all of Konoha if I could've gotten away with it. Naruko looked up at me in hurt surprise and I realized, _Oh god she thinks I'm angry at her…_ I caught her by the shoulders and looked her in the eye, "Naruko, as my best friend in this whole world, I cannot let you continue to live in a place that makes you so sad. Come with me, we shall gather your things and you can come live with me."

Naruko looked like she had just been offered a stairway to heaven and oh god it hurt so much to see the effects my simple _caring_ was having on her. Forget tugging my heartstrings, she was pulling them out like loose threads from a motheaten sweater, which given the state of my rotten black heart is probably a pretty apt metaphor…

Then she hesitated, "But…what about your parents? Adults don't like me…" I hugged her, "I don't have any, and anyone who doesn't like you is welcome to go get eaten by piranha as far as I'm concerned."

That did it. On came the waterworks. She cried into my shoulder for what seemed like a long time before she pulled herself together enough for us to go get her things and leave that awful place. I resisted the urge to flip the matrons the bird on my way out, narrowly. They never said a word to me, but I had, and still have, nothing but hatred so deep I can't even put it into words for them. Flipping them off with a glare of pure undiluted hate would be the beginning of the equivalent gesture. Burying a kunai between their eyes and storming off without a word would be the rest of it. It wasn't until after we had grabbed Naruko's meager possessions, we were able to gather them up in one trip, that she thought to ask me what a piranha was.

When we got back to my…well it had been a small travel trailer since I was always on the road for work, but now it was set into the side of a building so I guess it was an apartment now…for lack of a clearer category, I elected to call it a "dwelling place" at the time…Anyway when we got there, I got another surprise. It had changed since I left.

When I left, there had been two rooms, a larger room with a bed, a table, a sink, oven top, mini-fridge and microwave, plus lots of cabinets, and a small rectangular bathroom with a mirror/medicine cabinet and sink on the left, a toilet in the middle and a shower barely big enough for one on the left. It had also been a complete mess. A lonely bachelor with no social life tends to be a messy person and I epitomized that. My place had been a constant pigsty, dirty dishes and laundry everywhere, books and unopened snacks on one side of the bed in case I got hungry... I had never been called a disgusting pig for my manners or lack of decorum, but my mother had once called me one in a fit of rage after seeing my admittedly atrocious housekeeping.

Now I was stunned as I walked through what I was certain was the same door as before into a sizable room, almost double the size of what my larger room had been. What was weirder was that it was spotless. I looked around and poked my head back outside, looking around to make sure I was at the right beat up wooden door at the top of what looked like a rusty fire escape ladder in an unassuming brick alley. I pulled my head back in as Naruko was oohing and ahhing over how much space I now had and how nice everything was. You'd think it was a grand palace the way she was looking around at it. Granted, it was certainly quite nice, especially compared to that awful orphanage.

It was a small kitchen by the looks of it. The wall on the left was a bar with cabinets above and below and a sink in the middle, plus an old and kind of beat up looking dishwasher. There was a standalone fridge/freezer combo just across from the door, and an old microwave on the counter. A considerable chunk of the right wall was bookshelf which looked awfully familiar, and as I started reading titles, it looked like every book I'd ever had was there. I looked at the wooden table next to the door and ran a hand over it in numb shock, that was the table my grandfather had made for me when I got an apartment in college…and those were my chairs…

I suddenly froze and looked around, _this is the kitchen from my apartment! Right down to the little cactuses in the window over the sink and my dirty blue floor mat!_ I stopped and looked around, starting to get _seriously_ weirded out, _what. The EXACT._ _ **FUCK?**_ Then I noticed a note on the table and quickly grabbed it to read.

 _As you may have noticed, the house has changed. The house is my boon to you, so that you may never feel uncomfortable in your own home. The house exists in an extradimensional pocket, and the door is just propped up against the wall outside. You can seal it and take home with you wherever you go. The seal that allows this is in the fuinjutsu textbook in your bedroom. The house will change to suit whatever your needs are, but it will always pull from your memories to shape its new rooms. Existing rooms will not change significantly, but they will gain new places in the overall layout of the building. The map is once again on the back, and as you may not have noticed on the other map, both are constantly updating so that you can always find your way home and around inside. Locked doors do not yet have rooms behind them and cannot be opened. Some doors may be missing from where they were in the original room due to the floor plan being different. A compilation of the rooms the house has memory of and can therefore manifest is in the manual._

 _Yes the dishes are all done, as is the laundry and all the other housekeeping; part of the sealing matrix accounts for housekeeping. It was designed by an extremely brilliant but lazy man who didn't have time for housekeeping (you will still have to buy groceries though). The wardrobes will be updated and altered based on biometrics taken by the house and personal preferences._

 _The books and pictures are from a mixture of the memories and knowledge of all past and present residents of the house, with complete versions of even partially remembered texts copied through the sealing matrix's time-space functions._

 _Naruko has now been acknowledged as a resident and thus the house will respond to her needs and memories as well._

 _The house can understand the difference between visitor and resident and will only respond to residents. The house can only be accessed by residents. Anyone else who tries to open the door will find it to be a framed door to nothing except whatever is behind it, example a wall or the other side of the clearing it's sitting in. All of the instructions for the house can be found in the manual, and the house will periodically drop little hints like this which can be compiled or disposed of as they are completely unnoticeable to anyone but a resident of the house._

By the time I was finished, Naruko was reading over my shoulder, which I let slide because I had already gotten to the part about her being a resident just as much as I was. When Naruko finished she asked, "So…what's it say?" I blinked and looked at her and then I remembered, _Right, six year old orphan. Probably can't read very well if at all._

I smiled, "Well 'Ruko-chan, it says that the house has acknowledged that you live here now. That's why it changed while I was gone. It was making room for you." Naruko blinked and then her eyes bugged out, "Wait, the house is alive?!" I laughed, "No, it's just a really smart house. The guy who made it was a super genius with fuinjutsu, and he made a house that can tell who's here, as well as who lives here and who's just visiting, change to suit their needs and hide itself from anyone else. There's a map on the back, come on, let's go check out your room!"

"I have my own room?!" Naruko asked with a delighted smile. I nodded with a smile of my own, "Yes, come on, it's right down this hallway." I walked to what had in my apartment been the door to my bedroom and fought back the disorientation as it opened into the short cinderblock hallway from the second dorm I'd lived in in college. I led Naruko to the second door on the right, "Okay, here's your room…" I opened the door and once again tried to blink back the disorientation as the door opened into a bedroom I didn't even begin to recognize from a completely different architectural style. I forced a smile and let Naruko run past me to jump on the bed with a squeal of delight that quickly turned my forced smile to a real one.

I looked around and as Naruko rolled around on the bed giggling with glee I looked at the picture on the dresser and my breath caught, "Ruko-chan, look at this." I handed her the little framed picture as she sat up. All the breath went out of her in an instant and her eyes went wide, "This…Is this…"

I picked up the piece of paper that had been under the picture and read aloud, "A picture of Naruko and her parents, Minato and Kushina." Naruko's breath came out in little hitching sobs as tears welled in her eyes, "My…my daddy was… the Fourth Hokage?"

I smiled gently, "Judging by the picture, I'd say you definitely have his hair and eyes, and how could someone as wonderful as you be anyone less than the daughter of a Hokage?" Naruko's lip trembled for a moment and then she burst into tears. I bounced up onto the bed and wrapped her in a hug, "Hey…hey…what's wrong? I thought the Fourth was your hero."

"He is!" Naruko wailed, "But why does my dad have to be dead?! If he were alive people wouldn't hate me!" I tightened my grip on her and took a firmer tone that cut through the sound of her sobs, "Naruko, stop. And. Think. Nobody hates you. They're trying to protect you." Naruko actually stopped and looked up at me with big watery eyes, "W-what? But, but they all…"

I smiled softly at her, "Think about it. The Fourth wasn't without enemies, and if people found out he had a daughter and he wasn't around to protect her, they'd come after you. If people let on that you were the Fourth's child, then they might be placing you in terrible danger. What if some other shinobi village found out the legendary Yellow Flash had a daughter? They'd want to kidnap her and force her to be a ninja for them wouldn't they? By pretending to not care about you Naruko, they're shielding you from the eyes of outsiders. If they don't seem to care, why would anyone else? They'll think, 'surely Konoha would _care_ about the child of their great hero and praise that child to the high heavens right? So this little girl who nobody gives a second glance surely couldn't be that child! We can move on and leave her alone without having to worry about her growing up to be as strong as the Yellow Flash!' and then," I smiled gently, "Years from now when you _are_ all grown up and the greatest Hokage Konoha has ever had, everyone can admit who you are, because you'll be strong enough that nobody can threaten you. Right now, everyone has to lie and pretend not to care, that you're just another orphan from the night of the Kyuubi attack, but one day Naruko, you'll be able to shed your anonymity and everyone will be able to love you openly. I know it's hard, but until you're stronger you have to hide who you are alright?"

Naruko looked up at me with so much hope and trust in her eyes that it almost hurt me, because as far as I knew every word out of my mouth just then had been a colossal lie. All except for the bit about her needing to hide who she was and get stronger. It wasn't wrong though, she needed to hear it, right? I tried to tell myself that, but it still felt wrong somehow, using her trust to manipulate her like that, even if it did strengthen her resolve and would help her grow into a more formidable and loyal shinobi.

"Also," I added, "A lot of people probably don't know who you are. Lord Third has probably gone to great measures to keep your identity secret for your protection. I'm sure there are probably laws in place forbidding anyone who knows about it from talking about it or acting on it in obvious ways. I'm sure there are people who know though, and those people are always keeping an eye out for you from the shadows 'Ruko-chan, I'm certain of it, and while they watch over you from the shadows, I'll be right there by your side, watching your back, and may Kami have no mercy at all on the souls of whoever tries to get at you while I'm around," I declared with a rueful grin and then, "Does that sound alright 'Ruko-chan?" I asked with a smile.

Naruko looked up at me like I was her own personal guardian angel or fairy godfather or something to that effect, and as she wrapped me in a hug and cried happy tears into my chest, I decided that damn it all I was _going_ to be. I might have been a cold rotten calculating ball of explosive malignance, but I was a cold rotten calculating ball of explosive malignance with a sense of _honor_ dammit! This little girl was putting her trust in me and if it killed me I'd damn well be someone worthy of it.


	2. Chapter 2: The Academy

Chapter 2 – The Academy

==A Few Hours Later==

I sat in bed with 'Ruko-chan's head on my shoulder as I thoroughly analyzed the contents of the book labeled, "The Manual". Naruko had cried for almost an hour and then held on for another one before I talked her into taking a bath. I had fished her out some adorable pajamas with little froggies on them from the dresser and shooed her off into the bathroom. Before I got properly turned to go hunt for the Manual the note had mentioned, Naruko poked her head back out and asked for help with the bathtub.

I had shown her how the tub worked and explained the soap and shampoo and bubbles and handed her the rubber ducky. When I turned around after fishing a towel out of the cabinet for her, I stopped and blinked because she had already ditched her shirt and was on her way out of her skirt. I smiled broadly as a disguise for how tightly I had my eyes scrunched shut, gave her the towel, told her to enjoy the bath and yell if she needed anything, and I'd see her when she got done. I quickly exited and closed the door behind me before covering my nose and trying to quell the blush covering my face.

 _Son of a BITCH,_ I thought to myself, _Has nobody taught that girl not to disrobe in front of guys?! Has anybody taught her ANYTHING?! Mercy sakes alive…I could get her to do anything…even if she knew better, as much as she seems to trust me, I bet I could trick her into doing whatever I wanted…Nothing to do with her now, she's way too young, but I could start setting up now for ten, twelve years from now when she's…_ An image of what she'd look like at age 16 crawling across the bed to me buck naked except for some very sexy lingerie with a big smile flashed across my mind and blood spurted from my nose almost hard enough to snap my head back. _And THIS is going to be a problem isn't it?_ I thought irritably as my sinuses throbbed with little red hot flashes of pain and blood continued to pour across my hand.

Then it occurred to me that those damn bitches at that orphanage might have _intentionally_ neglected to teach her anything so that she'd make mistakes and leave herself open like this, and I feel quite certain my face turned as violent a red as the blood on my hands. I scowled as the rage roiled through me, _God, if she had run into a pedophile before me…_ A horrible image of that sweet little angel hurt and broken flashed through my mind and I was narrowly aware of my chakra manifesting as a violent purple aura around me in response to my fury at the mere thought. _Note to self, kill every pedophile I can find and investigate that damn orphanage. Dish out vengeance if appropriate. Fuck justice, nothing less than horrid bloody vengeance is acceptable if they were sabotaging 'Ruko-chan like_ _ **that**_ _._

I shook my head slightly, _Gotta find that manual and get my mind off this! If I look half as scary as I feel like being then poor 'Ruko-chan would probably be frightened if she saw me... Manual, manual, MAP._ I snatched the map off the bed and headed for the library.

The library was a massive room and I realized then that it wasn't one of the ones I'd seen, or if it was then it wasn't a real one, because I was pretty sure I had never been in a room with that many books that wasn't a full building unto itself, and rooms that size without stages, basketball courts or cafeterias in them were very rare as well. The ceiling was soaring and looked like something I'd expect out of European architecture, renaissance era maybe, definitely not Japanese though. There was a sizable table in the middle though, and on the table was a book about as thick as an average notebook, which looked to be hand bound in some kind of leather and had the words "House Manual" written on the front.

I nodded and took it back to Naruko's bedroom to wait for her to finish in the bath. I had promised to listen for her and I intended to. If she had never been in a tub before she might not be careful when getting up to get out and fall. If she did I wanted to be able to get in there and help her quickly rather than her having to lie there hurt. Before I got comfortable I cracked the door to check and make sure she hadn't gotten hurt in the brief time I was gone, "You okay in there 'Ruko-chan?" "Yeah! This is awesome!" she called back happily. I smiled, "Alright. Have fun, but don't stay in there all night, we do have class tomorrow and you'll need your sleep."

I hauled myself up onto the bed and got comfortable before opening the manual to read while I waited for 'Ruko-chan. Just as I was finishing the section on the mechanisms of the door and the house's unfindability, 'Ruko-chan came out in her adorable little froggy jammies and crawled up onto the bed next to me. I smiled at her, "Did you enjoy your bath?"

Naruko nodded with a big smile, "Uh-huh! Ducky-kun and I had lots of fun!" I smiled, "Alright, here, I found you a teddy bear." I handed her a small stuffed bear, similar to the one I'd had on my first go round as a child. Naruko squealed a little with delight and hugged the bear tight. I went to get up and she caught my hand, "Where are you going?" She asked with a worried look in her eyes.

I blinked, "Well I was gonna go to my room." "But…" Naruko started before stopping herself. I sighed slightly, the look in her eyes said it all, and then I smiled, "Don't want to sleep all by yourself huh? Alright, I'll sleep in here with you. I'm going to stay up for a little while checking out the instructions for the house though, so you might have to sleep with the light on for a little while, kay?"

Naruko's face lit up so much that I almost didn't need the light. Now here I was, half under the covers with Naruko draped over my left side, trying to read the manual and keep my mind off the day when she'd be old enough for us to step up from sleeping together to _sleeping together_. Thankfully, the manual and the house it described were actually terribly interesting. The manual was basically an in depth how-to book for secure extradimensional dwellings and storage, and judging by the quality of the House, I'd have to guess that it was written by a world class expert.

If I was understanding it right, then fuinjutsu was actually going to be remarkably easy, and borderline absurd in how ridiculously formidable a swiss army superpower it was going to be. It was looking like all I had to do to make a seal was write the kanji for what I was wanting the seal to do and channel chakra into the ink or whatever other writing implement I was using to imbue it with the purpose and power to do what I was telling it to, using lines to direct it. More than just basic commands would be difficult to prepare in advance, but even basic stuff could be insanely useful. How hard was it to write "reflect" or "absorb"? According to what I was reading the chakra infusing the kanji would ensure the intent was followed, and the seals would maintain themselves as long as the chakra was able to recirculate in a balanced fashion.

As I read, I made constant notes of ideas in my head, and it seemed every new page brought a new one. _Oh the things with which I must experiment…wonder if I can make a horniness seal…would have to be a genjutsu based seal…could have actually practical applications beyond the obvious… interrogation, it could be useful for interrogation…could do like that guy in that one story and use pleasure instead of pain…_ images flashed through my head of all the stories I'd read where pleasure actually got information and just generally worked better for persuasion in every way than pain and decided it was definitely worth looking into, and the obvious uses would be fun as well.

It was almost midnight by the time I felt drowsiness settle over me and closed the book, setting it gently on the nightstand and sliding down under the covers to curl up with Ruko-chan.

==The Next Morning==

Iruka had us out in the school yard, "Alright class, we're going to start with some warm up exercises. Just follow me." He proceeded to go through a variety of warm up exercises and stretches, then he had us do some standard exercise, push ups, sit ups, jumping jacks, so on and so forth. Those of you who've done some sort of workout in your life are familiar with the standard stuff and those who aren't probably don't care. I was a black belt at the time, granted a very _rusty_ black belt who had just been bounced back to an approximation of his six year old body, but a black belt nonetheless so it was all quite familiar to me. As we went through the exercises, I was beyond delighted to find that my strength, speed and stamina had remained constant despite my change in size and weight, meaning it was all cake for me because I had twice as much power as I needed.

As we went through our standard exercises, Iruka prowled through the ranks, examining our levels of fitness. When he had finished judging our strength, "Alright, everybody run five laps around the track and then we'll begin our taijutsu practice!" I was gone like a rocket. I had been fast even in my old body, with half the weight to carry and all the power? I was like lightning. I passed the other kids three times before I finished my laps, and I was the first one done. I wasn't even winded as I stood in the taijutsu practice ring waiting with a grin, _Is this what it felt like to be a kid?! I feel amazing!_

Iruka shot me a glance as I peeled out off the track and then went back to watching the others. I was pleased to see Naruko was at the front of the pack alongside a few of the boys. The other girls except for two who I guessed (correctly) to be Ino and Hinata were lagging sadly behind, and it wasn't hard at all to tell who the clan kids and civilians were.

When the others had finished their laps and come over to the taijutsu ring, Iruka came over, "Alright class, now that we've finished the warm up exercises, we're going to see where you stand in your taijutsu abilities. I'm going to be fighting you all one on one." That earned some mild cowering and balking from a lot of the class and piqued my interest. Iruka smiled as he walked into the ring, "Don't worry, unless you're really something else, I'll be fighting on my knees. If you manage to force me to stand up, I might just have to bump you up to a more advanced class."

He looked at me, "Koga, since you finished first and you've had a moment to catch your breath, you're up first. I'm going to set this timer for two minutes okay? That should be enough for me to get an idea of your skill level." He got down on his knees and put his guard up, "Now, I want you to come at me with everything you've got." "Elbows and knees allowed?" I asked calmly. Iruka nodded, "Everything."

I nodded, "Alright." I settled into my guard and then launched forward like a shot from a bowstring, hammering out a sidekick towards Iruka's face, which was about level with mine (and oh how much delightfully more flexible I had become!). Iruka blocked it easily and then repelled me with a gentle but firm palm thrust to my torso as I came around with a reverse punch. It wasn't much, but it was enough to widen the gap between us enough that my punch missed. Then he blocked my follow up front kick with his elbow, my left jab with his hand as well as the follow up right hook with his other hand. That left him open for the front kick to the face though. It actually snapped his head back and disrupted his guard enough that I was able to hammer three quick punches into his face, an elbow strike right into his temple and a knife hand strike into his nose on my way out of his range.

Iruka regarded me warily as I watched him from where I had set my guard up, "Well, you're better than I anticipated." He raised a finger to his nose and snorted the blood out. Then he rose to his feet and settled into a stance, "Let's see how much better."

The whole class "ooh"-ed and I grinned, _This just got harder._ I launched straight forward and then just as I was entering Iruka's range, I jumped. One of the surest and most satisfying techniques I had ever used on taller opponents was my flying piledriver. Tall people were just so unaccustomed to being attacked from above that they often never even considered the possibility of being whacked over the head, especially by an opponent shorter than them.

Apparently Iruka wasn't that tall, missed that memo or was just really good, because he actually deflected my piledriver and threw a counter punch that launched me out of the ring. It wasn't a hard punch, just the altitude that made me fly that far. I landed on my feet and grinned, "Actually fighting back now Sensei? Fun." I walked back into the ring and set up with him again. Iruka set up in return and I gauged my options, _flying piledriver's out…sweep? Doubtful, he looks light on his FUCK!_

Iruka launched forward and a punch rocketed out towards my head. He missed by a hairs breadth as I moved at the last second, and then twisted to throw another punch at me followed by a roundhouse and then a spinning hook kick which flowed into another round house, and then a sweep, all in less time than it takes to read it. I sprang back out of his range every time, and then as his leg came up in a front kick after the sweep, I ducked under instead of back and slammed my crossed arms into the bottom of his leg. He went flying off balance and before I could pat myself on the back I had a brief instance of _OH SHIT!_ as he landed in a handstand and brought his legs swinging around in an upside down roundhouse that I managed to block, which still sent me flying with its momentum.

I rolled a landing and back to my feet, noticing that he'd knocked me out of the ring again as the timer buzzed. Iruka straightened up out of his stance with a smile, "Well Koga, I must say I'm very impressed! You're very skilled for one so young, and much stronger than I expected. I didn't expect to be forced to my feet right off the bat like that. Congratulations, I'll be talking to one of the more advanced instructors after lunch about getting you bumped up to a more appropriate level for taijutsu class. Now if you'll have a seat on this side of the ring, I'll take the next volunteer." He gestured to the side of the ring across from the rest of the class and I went and sat down.

Hinata, Kiba and Sasuke were the only other ones who managed to even touch Iruka. Nobody else could get through his guard. Kiba pulled it off only once with sheer ferocity and speed right out of the gate, after which she got curb stomped just as hard as everyone else. Yes, I did say SHE there. Yeah, Kiba's a girl. It weirded me out at first too, but she did actually grow up fairly cute! (More on that later)

Hinata and Sasuke had an extremely difficult time getting past Iruka's guard, but they did actually manage it a few times. They didn't land any particularly good hits, and they certainly didn't pull off any uninterrupted combos, but they did better than everyone else by a longshot. By my estimate, the two of them were about half to two-thirds as good as me, which while a sobering thought also made sense given what clans they came from. _They've probably been training their butts off since they learned to walk. Wonder if I'll get put in the same class as Team Guy…_

Iruka spent the whole day on taijutsu, apparently Tuesday was Taijutsu day, and I met my new class that afternoon when they came out for their practice after lunch. It wasn't Team Guy's class, although they were there too in a different part of the yard. It was the same class Itachi had been in, which was now the graduating class. They didn't take having someone just over half their age tossed into their mix terribly well, so they all made _absolutely sure_ to provide enough challenge that I was actually still breathing hard when I finally got out the gate that afternoon. Apparently what had been standard black belt level of proficiency in my world was standard Academy Graduate here, which also made sense given that they were learning shinobi skills for six years. They had most probably all put waaay more hours into it than I had to be honest.

I was half surprised to see that Neji was in the same class, and my first impression of him was that he was the nastiest little bastard I'd ever had the pleasure of kicking in the balls. He really should've known better than to throw a kick at my head after I'd jammed over half the kicks thrown at me over the course of the afternoon in one way or another, but I guess some people just have to learn the hard way, and some people never do. Although after having a voice to match his long girly hair for an afternoon, Neji wisely never tried to kick me in the head again. In fact, I'm not sure he ever tried to kick _anyone_ in the head ever again…and given how many MANY times we sparred over the coming years, it really says something about how much it must've hurt that he restricted himself to his hands and elbows after that.

In between fights, the instructors would give tips, and there were a surprising lot of instructors, enough for every six students to have one to give close observation and tips. To my shock when I realized who she was, our instructor was a girl not terribly much older than us who had only just graduated at the end of the previous year: Izumi Uchiha. Yeah, _that_ Izumi Uchiha, Itachi's girlfriend. After I realized who she was, I made a point to be very nice to her because I knew what was coming. She didn't have more than a few years to live at most unless I was able to stop the massacre. After I fought her so she could discern my skill level, I got a little insight into just how dangerous Itachi and Obito would be in a fight.

To put that in perspective for you, Izumi was a genin. A genin very talented in taijutsu who had graduated a year early to be sure, but by no means a Rock Lee or Hyuga level specialist. She still kicked me around like a ball, and I had actually only become _faster_ in this body without any loss in strength from my fully grown body. My guard was good enough that she had trouble hitting me, and I was apparently still very good even by this world's standards at what I learned was called Karumijutsu, or Body Lightening Art, the art of being light as hell on your feet and hard to catch or hit. The others in my group were astounded that she had only managed to penetrate my guard the half dozen times she did in that two minutes, but I know that it was only because of how good I was at dodging and staying out of her range. That girl's hand speed is freakin' frightening, and she didn't even have her Sharingan active. Her strikes weren't exactly light either, and I could tell she wasn't going anything like all out. Those were just light _touches_ for her, and anyone who bruised normally would've had angry purple imprints of her hands and feet all over their body. The only reason I didn't was because I take two or three days to even _begin_ to bruise for anything less than something with bone breaking force, and by then I've usually healed enough that I only turn a bit brownish yellow rather than purple or black.

Itachi and Obito were set to not just beat but **slaughter** an entire _district full_ of people more badass than Izumi in one night without any flashy jutsu like Itachi's Susano'o. That was a very frightful testament to their battle prowess. I immediately put them both on my list of people to avoid confrontations with and prayed that I was not in the body of some Uchiha's missing lovechild that would make me a target for those two.

On the upside, Izumi was a very easy person to be friendly with. She was very sweet and an attentive and skilled instructor. She was also extremely pretty, which helped me be nice to her even if it did totally screw my composure every time I noticed it. If all the girls were swooning over Itachi, I wouldn't have been at all surprised to learn that all the guys were smitten with Izumi. I had to take a punch in the nose to cover up how much my nose was bleeding when my mind strayed in the obvious inappropriate directions. It only got worse when she got right up in my face to make sure my nose wasn't broken and I got a big dose of how beautiful she was right in the face. After fumbling out an assurance that I was fine that was apparently good enough for Izumi to go back to conducting the next match, I decided to take up wearing a mask ala Kakashi and find a jutsu or something to reduce the blood flow to my nose.

We spent the rest of the day fighting and after we left, as I was walking home with Naruko, I almost got a geyser of a nosebleed as I realized how incredibly effective the Sexy Jutsu would actually _be_ if ALL guys got nosebleeds this bad so easily, which I had seen no indication that they wouldn't. It was only by quickly averting my thoughts to the combat implications of such an effective distraction and thoughts of tearing people apart that I managed to keep it down to a trickle instead of a gusher.

Then Ruko-chan noticed and leaned in to check on me and I had to pass it off as a lingering injury from earlier. _Definitely need a mask…_ I thought, _This is gonna get embarrassing quick otherwise._


	3. Chapter 3: The Hokage

Chapter 3 - The Hokage

==The Next Day==

The Academy had a fairly good schedule I thought, Mondays Wednesdays and Fridays were all mental and theoretical stuff, and Tuesdays Thursdays and Saturdays were all physical. The next day was Wednesday, and the first thing on the agenda was a little game. It was called "What's the password?" To win, all you had to do was get your opponent to cough up the password.

I think throwing Takaoka across the room, pouncing on top of him and driving my fist through the wall next to his head before demanding the password or else was a perfectly valid strategy. When Iruka demanded to know what I was doing and I replied "an interrogation", Iruka turned almost as interesting a shade of red as Takaoka was pale. Before Iruka could find a response, I turned to Takaoka with a grade A death glare, " _Well? The password?"_ Takaoka stammered it out and I immediately bounced up, helped him to his feet and smiled, "Thank you Takaoka. I win."

"THAT IS NOT HOW YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO PLAY THE GAME!" Iruka shouted. I gave him a deadpan stare, "Interrogations are a game? I'm sure the ANBU would find that very interesting." I was promptly informed I had detention that afternoon, and then it was doubled because I called Iruka a spoilsport.

After that game was over, we moved onto military strategy, which consisted of a game very similar to chess called Shogi. I was paired off with Naruko because everybody else was worried I'd have a tactic for Shogi like my strategy for "password". I did not. I had a very pleasant time learning how to play Shogi with 'Ruko-chan. We played five times over the hour, and we were evenly matched, two for me, two for her and one match interrupted by Iruka moving on to the next lesson.

The next lesson was signaling and I had to resist the urge to teach the class some very interesting hand signals aimed at Iruka. He was really starting to get on my nerves being such a humorless stiff. Pointing at your eyes and then what you want your partner to look at was a perfectly valid way to tell them where to look, and pointing at your head while holding your fingers a centimeter apart is a perfectly valid way to call somebody a pea brain. I had detention for a week after that one.

Next was "Spiritual Refinement", or in simple layman's terms trying to activate our chakra so we could use it for jutsu. I remembered my chakra manifesting the night before when I was angry, so as I folded myself into a cross legged meditative position on my little mat, I closed my eyes and started thinking of everything that had ever made me furious. It didn't take long for me to work myself into a red eyed rage, and as my eyes snapped open at the first sound, I saw the entire class except for 'Ruko-chan and Sasuke huddled behind Iruka staring in terror. 'Ruko-chan and Sasuke were looking at me in awe rather than fear.

I shook my head and banished my rage back into the dark recesses of my mind. The massive violent purple miasma of chakra around me dissipated immediately and I heard several held breaths being let out. I leaned forward and propped my chin on my fist, "So Iruka-sensei, what's next?"

"THAT'S NOT HOW YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO IT!" Iruka shouted as his head grew to the about double the size of a beach ball, "YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO FIND HARMONY WITH YOUR CHAKRA, NOT TAP INTO IT WITH ANGER! WHAT ARE YOU EVEN SO ANGRY ABOUT ANYWAY?!"

I thought for a moment and then I answered calmly, "Number one, I was in perfect harmony with my chakra, I was ready to wreck something and my chakra was ready to help me. Perfect harmony of power and intent. Number two, what was I angry at? I was angry at quite a great number of things which have long since become irrelevant to me but which I can still easily use as kindling to help fuel the fire of my wrath. Now it's your turn Sensei, what are _you_ so angry about? I have accessed my chakra, was that not the point of this exercise?"

Iruka was making a visible effort to control himself as he snapped a finger towards the door, "Outside. Now." I shrugged and rose to my feet, calmly letting myself out the door and waited. A few moments later, Iruka stepped out, "Follow me."

I followed him down several hallways and up a few flights of steps to a door which he knocked on. A voice called through it, "Who is it?" "Iruka sir," Iruka replied, "I'm having a little trouble with a student and I need your guidance in dealing with the matter." There was a pause and then, "Come in." Iruka opened the door and ushered me through into the Hokage's office. I quickly went and peered over the top of the desk with a smile, "Naruko says hi."

Hiruzen Sarutobi looked at me, "Ah I see, you're Naruko's friend. I heard something about you encouraging her to move out of the orphanage?" My expression darkened, "Forget encouraged Lord Hokage, that place is a horrible…" I struggled for a minute to find a word, "It's just horrible. I couldn't let 'Ruko-chan stay in a place like that. If I could get all the kids out, I'd torch it rather than let a place that would make the people it was supposed to be taking care of so sad remain standing."

Hiruzen's brow furrowed, "Explain." "Have you been in there?!" I demanded, "The whole place **_oozes_** gloom and sadness! 'Ruko-chan's an unquenchable little ball of sunshine, and she looked like she wanted to die rather than go back in there! I didn't see a single smile in there, and the accommodations are utterly dismal. It's more fit to be a prison than a place for children!"

Hiruzen frowned, "I see. I shall have to make an inspection of the orphanage. You seem very protective of Naruko, may I ask why?" "She's my best friend," I replied bluntly, "But even if she wasn't, she's Leaf. That means I protect her right?" Hiruzen blinked and then nodded with a small smile on his face, "Yes, yes it does. Iruka, exactly what problems are you having with, I'm sorry child what was your name? I didn't catch it."

"Koga sir, Koga Kurohyou," I answered, "Iruka-sensei doesn't like my jokes and interrogation strategy and thinks it's bad that I'm angry about the orphanage making 'Ruko-chan sad." Iruka choked behind me, " _That's_ what made you so angry?" I looked over my shoulder and let the rage come flowing back. As my chakra erupted around me in what I later learned was its default state I declared, "If you had seen how sad she was, you would be angry too."

Iruka paled slightly and then nodded, "Yes I'm sure I would. Lord Hokage, if it's not too much to request, I'd like to be on the team that investigates the orphanage. Nobody messes with my students." I let my rage and chakra aura peter out and then Iruka cleared his throat, "That being said, you still have detention for throwing Takaoka across the room and scaring the living daylights out of him. Oh, and calling me a pea brain."

I gave him an irritable look, "You wanted me to interrogate him didn't you? Intimidation is a standard interrogation tactic isn't it? Sorry if my approach is a little unrefined and blunt, I haven't been studying to be an interrogator for long. As for calling you a pea brain, you wanted us to communicate nonverbally, and what's harder to communicate than exact phrasing? Everyone else got it too ya know, _and_ it made them all laugh. Besides, I owed you a verbal jab for disapproving of my highly successful tactics in interrogation." I looked away and stuffed my hands in my pockets, "I do a good job and get chewed out for it. Yeesh, can't win for losing."

Hiruzen frowned as Iruka's eye twitched, "It seems to me Iruka, that while Koga's methods are unorthodox, if what he's saying is true then he is getting the desired results. Perhaps a little less yelling and a little more guiding would work better?" "Definitely," I declared, "Yelling only makes me angry." Hiruzen nodded, "See there? He does not understand why you disapprove of his methods, and if you shout, he will ignore your advice and then he will not learn. I know you are still a very new teacher Iruka, but you must learn to take your students' mistakes in stride and keep a level head as you guide them down better paths. Becoming angry will solve nothing and serve only to distance you from your students. If they do not do something right, but think they did, then ask why they did it that way. As with Koga's interrogation, they may well have had a good reason. Koga, do you know any other methods of interrogation?"

I thought about it, "I've heard bribery can work, as can seduction which is just another form of bribery, but I don't know Takaoka well enough to know what to bribe him with, he's a guy so I can't seduce him, and there's no guarantee that he would give me the right information even if I could bribe or seduce him. Those are the only two nonviolent methods I know of, and as far as violence goes, I think I could've done a lot worse than throw him across the room and threaten to punch him."

Hiruzen nodded, "You see Iruka? Koga was simply utilizing the best option available to him. If you wish for him to not resort to violence when interrogating, teach him a better method. Now what is this about you calling Iruka a pea brain?" I quickly repeated the gestures which indicated that Iruka was a pea brain and then spread my hands as if to say, "Tada". Hiruzen blinked and then smiled, "Well Iruka, it seems he has the grasp of nonverbal communication, why don't you try to teach him new methods of signaling so that he can code his signals rather than having them be so obvious, and explain to him why it is good for his signals to be coded?"

Iruka nodded, "Of course Lord Hokage." I grinned and then Hiruzen glanced at me, "You're still going to have detention you know." I made a face, "Dang it!" Hiruzen snorted a small chuckle, "Let me explain. Your detention is not because you acted out, although that is certainly a component of the reason. You are being held after school so that you can have supervised help with your chakra. It is not supposed to be something you can only access through a strong emotion. To be an effective shinobi you must be able to maintain a level head, and if you must work yourself into a fury to access even your most basic techniques, then you will not be able to remain level headed. You are not the first to access your chakra through your emotions, and you won't be the last, so we want to help you learn from the mistakes of others as it is very difficult to unlearn something like that."

I nodded, it made sense, then I paused, "Just one request Lord Hokage?" Hiruzen leaned forward, "I'm listening." "Can 'Ruko-chan stay late with me for tutoring? She's living with me now and she might not find her way home without me. I don't want her to get lost, and I don't know if she knows how to read, I don't think she can, so if she could stay late maybe Iruka-sensei could help her with that?"

Hiruzen nodded, "I believe that could be arranged. Iruka?" Iruka nodded, "Yessir, of course. I'd be happy to." I glared at him, "You don't want to teach 'Ruko-chan." Iruka stiffened, "What makes you say that?" he asked in a tone that clearly meant: _How did you know that?_

I frowned, "I'm good at reading people, and apparently you stink at puzzles. Can I tell him Lord Hokage?" Hiruzen froze and Iruka looked very irritated. "How do you know about that?" Hiruzen asked me quietly. "Who else would he trust with it?" I asked, "Why else would she have the exact same hair and eyes as him? People don't notice urchins, don't think we matter because they pretend not to see us, but we see and hear a lot that they don't want anyone to because we're nobody to them. I'm not dumb Lord Hokage, it's obvious to me, and it should be to anyone else who sees her and knows who she is."

Iruka frowned angrily, "What are you talking about?!" I looked at Hiruzen and gestured towards the wall with the portraits of the four Hokage on it, "On second thought, can 'Ruko-chan have a smarter teacher? This one's too blind to look at the wall." Iruka followed my finger, stared for a few minutes and then it visibly hit him like a freight train. All the color went out of him immediately, "Oh Kami…"

Hiruzen sighed, "Iruka, that's an S-Class secret punishable by death if you reveal it to anyone. I take it Naruko already knows?" I nodded, "It took her a second and a lot of explaining, but she's willing to keep it secret, as am I. I only let Iruka-sensei know because he's going to be our teacher for the next few years. I won't have someone with such influence over her proceed with only half the story."

Hiruzen regarded me thoughtfully, "You care about Naruko quite a lot don't you Koga?" I nodded and looked down as my fists clenched, "She trusts me. More than that I'm concerned she may love me, and that's more than I deserve from anybody. So damn it I'm **** ** _going_** to be worthy of her trust, even if it kills me. Also," I added quietly, "I've never been so hurt to see someone else sad as I am when I see her that way. I don't know what this is, but it's enough that I never want her to be sad again."

Hiruzen nodded with a slight smile forming, "I see. Very well, I shall allow her to continue living with you, but I would like to come by after you finish your after school study session to make sure your accommodations are suitable for two small children." I stiffened slightly and then relaxed and nodded, "Yessir, I'll come by to get you after we're done." Hiruzen nodded, "Very good. I will see you and Naruko this afternoon. Now, you should get back to class."

I smiled brightly, "Aye boss!" and zipped out the door and back to class. Iruka wasn't far behind me although he wasn't moving quite as quick. I looked over my shoulder and saw he was still looking kind of dazed from realizing who Naruko's parents were. I didn't let it slow me and zoomed on back to class. I had to admit, the old guy had a point, it wouldn't do at all for me to be totally reliant on my rage. I got destructive when I was ragey.

I went back to my little meditating mat next to Naruko's and smiled as I sat down, "Don't worry, everything's fine. I'll fill you in at lunch." Naruko nodded with a smile and went back to meditating. I folded myself into a meditative position and steadied and deepened my breathing. I had no idea what my elemental affinity was, so I decided to just try focusing on my internal power. Easier said than done.

I reviewed in my head what chakra was supposed to be, a mix of mental and spiritual energies. I mulled that over for a minute and then I took a deep breath, another one, and one more after that. On that third breath I envisioned the air coming out much stronger, my will taking shape in the form of the wind I was exhaling. I felt and heard things stir around me and I smiled, _got it. Now, POWER._

I inhaled deeper this time, and when I exhaled I envisioned a massive gust of wind that would ruffle the hair of everyone in the room and send any loose papers flying. Everyone felt the air move and then I did it again. I smiled, _perfect._ Then I closed my eyes, _I wonder what happens when I add that emotional power to it…_ I inhaled as big and deep as I could and as I held it I ripped the lid off my rage and let the breath out as a huge roar, envisioning it as a terrible tempest or a shockwave. I got the tempest.

I looked around as things went flying and my classmates dove for cover. I reveled in my power with a grin for a moment or two and then I calmed myself and willed the wind to die down. It didn't work with just will, so I swiped my hand counter to the wind as I huffed a firm breath out and the wind screeched to a halt with a sound like a distant thunderclap. As debris fell from the air, Iruka slammed the door open, "WHAT WAS THAT?!"

I rocked around in a circle cackling, "I'm windy!" Then I paused, "I wonder what else I can do…" Iruka seemed to teleport over to rest a hand firmly on my head, "How about you don't experiment in the classroom and destroy the place?" I pouted at him, "Spoilsport."

That afternoon after some careful phrasing at lunch, Naruko delightedly joined Iruka for extra lessons in the training yard and I was pleased to see Iruka going to great lengths to make sure she was understanding what he was teaching her. I meanwhile sat in a fuinjutsu circle and practiced with my chakra. Hiruzen had come by to see what all the noise was earlier and was now personally overseeing my chakra control exercises in case my chakra whipped up another whirlwind. The damn leaf on my forehead just would. _Not. STICK._ It kept getting blown off by little wind blasts and I kept having to go get it.

Hiruzen had tested my chakra affinity with chakra paper that afternoon just to confirm that I did have Wind Release and that my chakra wasn't just that ridiculously powerful. It turned out to be both. When the paper should have split down the middle, instead it ripped itself to shreds. Hiruzen and I blinked at it and I looked up at him, "Eh, was it supposed to do that?"

Hiruzen stared and then, "I don't know that I've ever seen it myself, but I've heard of it. It's an especially potent form of Wind Release known as Typhoon Release. It's extremely rare, extremely powerful and like a typhoon, extremely difficult to control. I or someone skilled in Wind Style will oversee your chakra control exercises until you have a decent degree of control over it. You are not to practice with it during storms or in unprotected areas where it can cause damage to the village if it gets out of control, understood?" I nodded, it made sense, "Aye Lord Hokage."

As I continued to try and fail to make the damn leaf stick and turn, Hiruzen eventually stopped me, "It seems we may have to work backwards on your chakra control, narrowing it from the biggest control exercises to the smallest. Go ahead and make the biggest wind you can. The seal will contain it. I wish to see the mechanics of your chakra at work. I have heard that Typhoon Release is more powerful, but I do not know why. So please indulge me that we may better learn the workings of your abilities."

I nodded and grinned as I glared at the pesky little leaf, _I'm gonna blow you sky freakin high._ I inhaled and then let it out with all my frustration behind it. I vaguely remembered the one character in canon to have used Typhoon Release making the Bird hand sign, so I made the best approximation of it I could. The wind reacted to my surprise. It reacted very VERY strongly. It went from a contained spiraling gust to a small twister that I couldn't see out through. I was so surprised by the sudden skyrocket in power that I released the jutsu. The air continued to whirl for a few minutes and then as the dust settled I was left staring at Hiruzen, Iruka and Naruko who were all staring at me.

Hiruzen's mouth had dropped so much that he almost lost his pipe. I was acutely aware that what I had just pulled was easily a B-Rank technique if my memories of Temari's jutsu were any indication, and I wasn't even breathing hard. Hiruzen finally recovered his voice, "Koga-kun, how much energy would you say you have right now?" I shrugged, "Honestly Lord Hokage, I feel like I could go a round or two in the ring with Iruka-sensei."

Hiruzen's mouth tightened around his pipe and he worked it around for a minute as the gears in his brain were almost visible in their churning, then, "Alright, I want you to do that again, and maintain it for as long as you can okay?" I nodded, "Okaaa-ay…" I folded my hands back into my approximate bird sign and inhaled deep. I envisioned an even stronger twister than before as I exhaled, and I got one. The first one had been the color of the dirt it was ripping up from the Academy yard. This one got darker. I don't know how high up that seal went, but my twister was pulling in clouds and blotting out the sun from what I could see in the eye of it.

As per the old man's instructions, I held my pose and kept my breathing steady, trying to focus on maintaining the twister, occasionally giving it little extra breaths to help it stay up to speed. I don't know how long I stood there before I started to get stiff, but when I did I decided, _Ok, that's enough._ I paused, dropped my hand sign and stretched, noticing that the twister was only weakening just a little bit. With a light puff, it went right back to the power it had been having. I rolled my shoulders and stretched more thoroughly, calmly examining the twister as I willed my breathing to keep powering it. When I finished stretching I just stood there and looked at the inner wall of my personal twister. Then I got tired of standing and crouched. After that my feet started to go to sleep and I sat down. After what felt like a long time I decided I'd had enough and clapped my hands together with a huge, hard, fast exhalation, _ENOUGH!_ The twister screeched to a halt and a massive cloud of dust settled.

I looked around and saw that Hiruzen had had time to go get himself a chair and was reading to Naruko. Iruka had already left and the sun was going down. Hiruzen and 'Ruko-chan looked up at me. I gave them a slightly grumpy look, "I ain't tired, I'm just bored outta my skull and need a bath. How long have I been in here?!"

Hiruzen checked a pocket watch, "Three hours and sixteen minutes. It's almost seven thirty. You say you're not even tired?" "Not from the jutsu," I replied, "The standing for so long thing was uncomfortable. I had to sit down and do some stretches to keep from getting all stiff, but if I'm supposed to be feeling some sort of after effects from the jutsu, either I'm not or they're so miniscule that I don't recognize them."

Hiruzen nodded, "I believe I have a theory then. Your Typhoon Release is not necessarily more _powerful_ than ordinary Wind Release, it is simply far, far more chakra efficient." "So I can use a fraction of the chakra most people would have to and get the same or greater results?" I clarified, "Makes sense and is awesome." Hiruzen nodded, "Yes but you will have to be very careful and learn the utmost control. With such a powerful multiplier on the effects of your chakra, even the weakest techniques might have titanic effects." I smiled, "That sounds pretty epic."

Hiruzen sighed, "Yes, it will certainly make you a powerful shinobi, although I don't know that it will not bring its own burdens." I twitched an eyebrow at him, "Yeah yeah, it's super destructive at the drop of a hat. I would've been that anyway. I'll learn to control it and if I can't fully control it I can at least learn to _aim_." Hiruzen mused on that for a moment and then glanced over at the setting sun, and the numerous curious heads peeking over the school yard wall with all the subtlety of a rampaging elephant, "Well, I think that is quite enough practicing for one day. Come, let's get you two home. We'll go by Body Flicker so as not to have a crowd of followers." He offered a hand and a moment later the three of us were standing halfway across Konoha.

I looked up at him, "How does that jutsu work? I want to be able to do that." "It is an advanced form of Substitution relying on using air or leaves or something similar to substitute instead of a solid mass like a log. It's more chakra intensive than running or ordinary substitution, but I have a feeling that won't be an issue for either of you. Now then, which way is your home?"

I pulled out the map and smiled as I saw it had a little inked line with an arrow at the tip leading us from our current position home. I pointed and took off with 'Ruko-chan and Hiruzen following along behind me, "This way."


	4. Chapter 4: The Student

Chapter 4 – The Student

==Twenty Minutes Later==

Hiruzen looked at the door curiously as I opened it, then he stepped through and a paper airplane flew down out of a ceiling vent and bounced off his hat. He opened it and froze. Then he shook slightly, "I can't believe it…"

Naruko and I looked at him, "What?" "You found it…" Hiruzen said quietly, "You found Tobirama-sensei's house…" " _This is the Second Hokage's house?!"_ Naruko and I chorused. Hiruzen looked around in wonder, "Yes, it's been lost ever since his death…we never figured out where he left it…children do you have any idea what you've stumbled upon? Tobirama-sensei's study is in here somewhere…with all his notes…"

My eyes widened, _The library…that means I've got access to the workshop of one of the greatest minds in the recorded history of this universe…_ "You can't kick us out!" I protested, "The house will only respond to us!"

Hiruzen blinked at me, "What? I wasn't planning to kick you out." I gave him a doubtful look, "You weren't? That face looked an awful lot like it was leading to a "You kids come with me, I'll arrange other living arrangements for you, this house is a treasure trove of knowledge which must be studied for the good of the village." And that won't work because the house will only respond to residents, who can only be made residents by me, or Naruko in the event I die, and if both of us die without another resident, then the house will become unfindable again, so you had better not even think of throwing us out!"

Another paper airplane hit Hiruzen in the hat. He unfolded it and read it, "I see. It seems I am only welcome as a visitor and must be escorted by one of you at all times. I also can't take anything out of the house. It seems the rules haven't changed." He set the note down, "But that is actually for the best. The contents of this house likely contain details on many dangerous and forbidden jutsu which must be protected at all costs. I remember how confident Tobirama-sensei was in his work on the house's defensive mechanisms, and despite the best efforts of myself, my teammates and indeed all of Konoha, we never found it. Thus it would appear that merely the genjutsu seals rendering it unfindable are enough to protect it from outsiders, and in the event they are not, I am sure Tobirama's propensity for redundancies and thoroughness mean that there are many more safety measures in place which will protect the house and its contents. I am curious about how you managed to find it though."

I shrugged, "Gift from Kami? Second Hokage's ghost wanted me to have it? I'm the reincarnation of the Second Hokage?" A piece of paper flew off the desk into my hand, and on it was a note that said, _Correct on all counts_.

I turned it around to show Hiruzen, "The house agrees with me." Hiruzen nearly choked on air. Naruko had the starriest eyed look I've ever seen as she looked at me delightedly. I blinked at her, "What?" " _You're the reincarnation of the Second Hokage!"_ Naruko squealed delightedly, _"_ _I've got the coolest best friend ever!"_ I smiled, "Yes, but just like the information about who you are, that would put us both in a lot of danger, can you imagine how much the other shinobi villages would do to keep another Second Hokage from happening? So we have to keep this quiet too."

Naruko groaned, "Aww! But it's so _cool!_ " I smiled at her, "Don't worry 'Ruko-chan, we're going to be even better than our predecessors. Know why?" She looked at me curiously, "We are?" I nodded with a grin, "Definitely. We've got each other now! Can you imagine how strong the Second and Fourth would've been if they'd had each other to work with? And we've got Lord Third here to teach us and plenty of notes from the Second! Who knows, there might even be stuff here from the First Hokage too!"

Naruko looked like she had just been handed the world on a silver platter, which given the power of the jutsu we were about to have access to she probably had in a sense, but then her face fell a little, "But what about my daddy?" she asked plaintively, "Don't we have anything from him?"

I thought for a minute, then I grinned, "His signature Flying Raijin technique was actually invented by the Second Hokage, so we can find it and you can learn it and then you'll have something of his!" _And something from me too if the house is right and I really WAS Tobirama in a past life,_ I added in my thoughts. Then I had another thought, "Hey 'Ruko-chan, if I could replicate the Second's Sword of the Thunder God, would you use it?"

"Of course I would!" Naruko exclaimed. I grinned, "Well then I might just see about cooking you up two to go with that Flying Raijin you're going to learn. You'd be next to unstoppable!" Hiruzen twitched next to us and I looked up at him, "Problem Lord Hokage?" "That's a scary thought," he declared, "Um, if you two _do_ happen to master those things, please, keep them under wraps at least until you make Chunin okay? The other nations would descend on us all at once if they found out we had the successors of the Second and Fourth Hokages up our sleeves, especially if they found out that you two are just children and might be vulnerable."

Naruko crossed her arms and pouted, "Can't we have _anything_ cool to show or tell our friends?" "What are you talking about 'Ruko-chan?" I asked, "We're already cooler than half the kids in our class and they don't know anything about us! Granted I think all but a few are terrified of me, but I am _definitely_ cooler than any other guy in class, and you are far and away the prettiest girl." 'Ruko-chan blushed absolutely crimson and went completely bug-eyed. This is what tipped me off to the fact that it was the first real compliment anyone had ever paid her. If she hadn't had a crush on me before that, she _definitely_ did afterwards.

I glanced away to spare her the embarrassment of having her tremendous blush noticed, "All the other girls are probably going to be super jealous of you. Don't expect to be popular because of it. If you're a genius like I bet you are, they'll be jealous of that too. Plus you're fast and tough and probably have sky high chakra reserves…" I mused, "They'll probably all be super jealous and won't like you at all because you'll be a constant reminder of everything they wish they were. That's okay though, that's how you know which ones aren't worth bothering with. If they're all jealous and ridiculous and try to put you down to make themselves feel better, then they're clearly not worth even noticing. Ugly little cockroaches at heart really. Best to ignore them when you can and be polite when you can't. Of course, a good punch in the face does wonders to shut people up…"

"Can I really just punch them though?" Naruko asked uncertainly. "Your mother did," Hiruzen replied with a grimace, "Woe betide the fool who mocked or irritated the Red Habanero, or Minato in front of her. Minato dismantled a pack of Kumo-nin before he and Kushina were even out of the Academy because they were trying to kidnap Kushina. Oh, um, uh…" he became acutely aware of the absolutely rapt attention Naruko was giving him.

I cleared my throat, "I think Naruko-chan would probably very much enjoy story time if you have time Lord Hokage." Hiruzen shot a glance at the clock, "Erm…I actually have an even better idea. We don't want people to start wondering where I am, but I have just the person for stories about Minato and Kushina. If you'll step outside Koga-kun and wait for him so that he can find you, I'll have him here as soon as I can." "Kakashi?" I asked with a blink.

Hiruzen blinked and then gave me a look that clearly conveyed the thought, _that was just plain damn creepy…_ "Ah…no…but yes now that you mention it he can probably get here faster. I'll go get him too." "Jiraiya?" I asked. Hiruzen actually flinched on that one, "Yes." I grinned, "Cool!" Then I frowned, "He's going to be cool and not a jerk right? And Kakashi's not going to be here until tomorrow at the earliest is he? I'll blast them both to Iwa if either them upsets 'Ruko-chan and I'm going to find some jutsu strong enough to send them to the _moon_ before I go to bed tonight just in case they make it back from Iwa. I've heard a lot about those two, and a lot of it's bad."

Hiruzen was quite visibly mortified by my ability to apparently read his mind, the extreme surety in my threats and the apparent contempt I had for his two top shinobi (I actually hold them both in the highest regard, but there was no need for anyone to know that at the time), "Um…I'll make sure they know to be on their best behavior."

I smiled, "Good! I'll wait up for Kakashi, but tell him if he doesn't show up before midnight tonight he'd better be waiting at the Academy tomorrow after class or be ready to get launched over the Hokage Monument when I get a hold of him. We've got class tomorrow and it's a physical day, which means 'Ruko-chan needs her rest." Hiruzen looked like he couldn't quite decide whether he should be worried for Kakashi or wait until tomorrow afternoon to tell him for spite and laughs, "I'll make sure to convey that to him when I send him this way. Good luck at class tomorrow."

He opened the door and I stepped out behind him. As I closed the door Hiruzen looked at me, "You wouldn't really launch him over the monument would you?" I gave him a deadpan stare, "What do you think?" Hiruzen nodded with a small grimace, "You would. I'll tell him to hurry." He turned to leave and then paused and looked back at me, "Oh and by the way Koga," I met his gaze and he smiled, "Thank you, for taking care of Naruko." Then he disappeared in a little swirl of leaves.

==Half An Hour Later==

There was a skidding sound and Kakashi appeared at the end of the alley coming out of a homerun skid before hurriedly walking down the alley to me, "Are you Koga Kurohyou?" I raised an eyebrow with a quirky grin as he Body Flickered up the ladder to the landing, "That I am. Glad to see you are actually capable of getting places on time Kakashi-san. How much did Lord Third tell you?"

"Not much," Kakashi admitted, "He told me that I needed to get here and talk to you immediately lest my health suffer tremendously." I nodded with a smile, "Good." I opened the door, "Step inside Kakashi-san, I'll fill you in." Kakashi stepped inside and I gestured for him to sit in one of the two chairs I'd pulled out. He sat and I sat facing him, "So, first thing's first. You are currently in possibly the most secure place in all of Konoha, the house of the Second Hokage, which on it's own I expect is an S-Rank secret. It is now my house because according to the house I am the reincarnation of Tobirama Senju. That I also expect to be an S-Rank secret."

Kakashi was staring at me and then after a moment he nodded, "Okay, so what does that have to do with me?"

"Absolutely nothing," I replied with a straight face and then I had to fight back a grin as Kakashi face faulted. "You've been called here for a much more important reason," I continued and immediately had Kakashi's full attention again. I had to fight back a grin, "It's going to be Naruko's bedtime soon and she wants to hear some stories about her parents and meet her father's last living student."

Kakashi's mask was the only thing that kept his jaw from hitting the floor and his eye went as wide as a dinner plate. His mouth worked silently for a moment and then, "She knows?"

I nodded, "She does. It took a little help from me and the house, but she has come to terms I believe with the fact that she must conceal her identity until she is older for her own protection. However this does not mean that she cannot inherit her parents' legacy or be close with those who were close to her parents, especially now that we have the house as a secure meeting and training place. So, I would like to request that you assist with helping Naruko feel as though her family is not quite so gone as she has until two days ago believed it to be."

"She's in the bath now or I'd wait until after she was asleep to tell you this," I continued quietly, "But the other day what prompted me to invite her to live here with me was when she said, 'It's the orphanage, I'm an orphan so I live here because nobody loves me'." I looked him in the eye, "I don't think I have to tell you how much care and affection 'Ruko-chan has been deprived of, or how much she is going to have now that I have a say in the matter. So, I'll give you this warning once, I don't care if you're the Rikudo Sennin made over, if you ever hurt her, if you ever contribute to her getting hurt through a lack of vigilance or diligence in your duty, if I think you could even remotely in some teeny tiny way be even a smidge responsible for her getting hurt, you're going to die. Very slowly, and very, **_VERY_** painfully. I can't protect her forever," I said quietly, "and one day I won't have to, but until then, I can't be everywhere at once. Even Shadow Clones and the Flying Raijin have limits, so I'm going to need people I can trust to keep her safe when I can't. Can I trust you with her life Kakashi?"

Kakashi was staring at me, "You are really deep for a little kid." My chakra manifested around me in its usual violent purple miasma as I dropped a death glare, " _Answer. The question._ "

Kakashi flinched slightly and then answered quietly, "Yes, I would never let anything happen to her. I've lost so much already that I wanted to protect, I don't know if I even _can_ protect anyone, but never doubt for an instant that I will do everything I can to ensure her safety. She's all that's left of Minato-sensei and Kushina-san."

I extended a hand with a small smile, "Well then Kakashi Hatake, it is a pleasure to meet you. I am Koga Kurohyou." Kakashi looked at the hand and then shook it with a small smile, "Threats aside, it's nice to meet you too Koga-kun. I appreciate you giving me this opportunity to be here for Naruko." I smiled and replied half seriously, "Don't make me regret it."

Kakashi sweat dropped, "You must have heard some really terrible things about me." "I heard you're a chronically late pervert with a penchant for laziness and emotional problems who really needs some therapy," I replied bluntly. Kakashi flinched slightly and then he went even more ghostly pale than his hair as I adopted a more serious expression, "And no Chidori around Naruko or teaching it to anybody who could even possibly use it on her. You know why."

"Y-you…" he couldn't even articulate his horror that I knew about Rin's death. "As it happens," I continued, "I intend to do some looking into those two incidents. Something smells off about that whole thing." Kakashi froze, "What do you mean?" "Kiri was trying to smuggle one of their Bijuu into Konoha using your friend as a vessel correct?" Kakashi nodded, listening attentively.

"So why did they allow their shinobi to force you into a fight where their precious bomb could be killed and rendered useless? Why didn't they use some sort of seal to prevent your friend from committing suicide to thwart their plans? Why did they let her know she had a Bijuu inside her? Why did they put a Bijuu inside her in the first place? The right seal could have done just as much damage, and it wouldn't have come with the risk of her gaining control of the Bijuu and turning it on them, or simply unleashing it in their village instead. What on earth possessed them to put it in the student of one of Konoha's foremost fuinjutsu experts who could probably have diffused their suicide bomb or even turned it into a super soldier with a grudge against them? Any way you turn it, they'd have lost one of their Bijuu. This tells me that either Kiri was full of complete idiots, and I very much doubt a Kage was _that_ stupid, or someone was trying to weaken them from behind the scenes and your friend was just an innocent bystander." Kakashi looked like I had just dropped a mountain on him.

"Another thing," I continued, "A few other little puzzles have missing pieces. There's a rumor going around that an Uchiha was behind the Kyuubi attack right?" Kakashi nodded, "That's right." "How many Uchiha have gone MIA or been killed in action but not had their bodies recovered?" Kakashi froze. Then all the color drained out of his face. He started shaking, "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying Uchiha are well known to have bad tempers and unbelievably bad reactions to losing their loved ones. Madara came after Konoha with the Kyuubi once seeking revenge. Was Obito's body ever recovered?" Kakashi was trembling like a leaf on a tree now as I narrowed my eyes at him, "So we have a missing Uchiha whose dear teammate was killed by his other teammate. I think that would be enough to make somebody want revenge don't you?"

"H-he wouldn't…" Kakashi choked out, "Obito would never…" "If you want to prove it, _then find that body,_ " I told him harshly, "It's not a possibility I like to consider either, but until we've got a count of every Uchiha who's ever gone missing, we don't know who it was or wasn't, and our suspect list has to include those with a known connection to the only person who has ever been able to control the Kyuubi, especially those who could theoretically access the same power. If your friend Obito found out about Rin, he'd have a motive to go after his sensei and former teammate for what he might very well see as having let it happen."

Kakashi looked like I had just sent him to Hell and back, so I hopped down off my chair and went over to rest a hand on his knee, "Stay here tonight, and then tomorrow, go to the place where you last saw him. If his body is missing, then we can absolve the entire Uchiha clan of the blame the village is thinking of placing upon them and put him in the bingo book so that everyone will know to watch out for what might well be the most dangerous nukenin Konoha has produced since Madara. If it's not and you find the body, then you can finally give your best friend a proper burial next to Rin. Either way Kakashi, it's something that needs to be done."

Kakashi was quiet for several minutes and then, "You're right. I should've done it a long time ago. I should've dug him out at the very first opportunity." He rose to his feet, "I should go now."

I caught his hand, "No you should bloody well stay here! You've gotta tell Naruko stories remember? She'll be totally crushed if she finds out you didn't stick around to meet her, and then I'll have to hurt you for making her cry. If he's alive and running around, then he won't be there anyway, and if he's dead, he's not going anywhere. Stay here tonight and get your head in order, there's a reason I said you should leave in the morning and not right now."

Kakashi gave me a strange look, clearly unaccustomed to being bossed around by someone probably just under a third his age. Then his gaze softened and he slumped back into the chair, "You're right. I'll stay here tonight if you and Naruko don't mind." I nodded and crossed my arms, "Good. I'm going to warn you now, we sleep in the same bed, and _no_ , we don't do anything. Naruko just doesn't like being alone."

The alarmed look in Kakashi's eyes faded and he nodded, "Tell me about her." I couldn't help it, my expression softened, "She's wonderful Kakashi-san. She's just this pure little bundle of sunshine and warmth. I don't even like sunlight that much, but she's too wonderful to describe in any other way. Just, warmth and good cheer and everything good you could ask for in a person. I don't know what I did to deserve meeting her, but I'm sure it wasn't enough."

My expression darkened, "Those rat bastards out there who don't know…the ones who shun her and ignore her because of the fox…I'd like to show them what hell looks like for making a cloud pass in front of her sunlight. It was like the whole world went a little dim when she talked about it." "You know what hell looks like?" Kakashi asked.

I shot a glare right into his eyes, "I have a frighteningly vivid imagination Kakashi-san, and urchins see a lot of things nobody should have to." I averted my gaze and tightened my grip on my arms, "…and there are a lot of thoughts in my head that I can only assume are left over from Tobirama. I'd like to think I'm not such a monster that I'd have such thoughts naturally without decades of warfare to inspire them. You understand right?" I cut my gaze back to him as I asked that.

Kakashi sat back in surprise, "Oh." He couldn't hold my gaze, "Yes, I do." I nodded and looked down, "Good. Then you should know what sort of horrors I'll inflict on anyone who dares to hurt her." "Of course," Kakashi said without returning his gaze to me. We sat there in grim silence for a long time, and it was quite an exercise in acting to keep my face and emotions schooled into grim brooding to fool him. Did I have evil thoughts? Certainly. Did I regret them? Hell no. I was a monster and I knew it, but people can't deal with monsters, we scare them, and if Kakashi had realized I was an unrepentant monster, he might've tried to take me and Naruko away from each other.

For all my bluster, boasting and threats, I held no delusions about what would happen if I tried to fight someone even a third as good as Kakashi, let alone old man Hiruzen. So I had to sell myself as having a complete devotion to Naruko so that they'd let me stay around her. That's not to say I didn't like her. Oh no, that girl was going to steal and/or break my heart one day if she hadn't already, and I knew it, but I wasn't going to be her pet. I'm nobody's _pet_. I had already started cooking on ways to convince Naruko to allow me to assemble a harem, with her as queen bee of course. It was a fanfiction after all, and how many of those have multi-pairings or harems? There was no reason at all in my mind why this couldn't be another one, and I fully intended to make it happen.

That's what made me a monster you know, my analytical mind and pride. I see no boundaries to what is achievable with sufficient resources, none. There are limits to what I can do with any given set of resources though, and I'm not fool enough to attempt things that are beyond my means. In my former life I'd been reluctant to engage in social activities because they were unfamiliar to me and I didn't wish to deal with the embarrassment of constantly putting my foot in my mouth learning to be social as an adult. The possible pitfalls and definite costs made them an unworthy investment of time, money and mental space. That made me a bit of a hermit sure, but it also made sure I always had money and time for whatever else I wanted or needed.

In this life however, there were far more options available to me. As a shinobi, I could stack up the dough much _much_ faster, and have a lot more fun doing it. I had been given a second chance at childhood, and I had no intention of wasting my body's most important years of development as I had in my old life by, well, being a kid. No, I was going to make my body and mind as close to perfect as I could this time, and with all the time and intellectual advantage I had over my peers, I was going to make my social life as close to perfect as I could as well. With the mind of an adult and the (relatively) innocent and trustworthy face of a child, I would be able to play my peers like a game of chess and have things exactly as I wanted them. What did I want exactly? Everything and nothing at all.

That however is enough about what was going on in my mind, now that we've filled that awkward fifteen minutes of grim silence with inner monologue, it's time to tell you about what happened when Naruko poked her head out of the hallway fresh from her bath.

As I had expected, Naruko glomped Kakashi immediately when she saw him. She was on him like white on snow and poor Kakashi was completely overwhelmed by the sheer amount of enthusiastic energy she was able to exude. After finding out all she could think to ask him about himself, Naruko proceeded to make him tell her stories until almost midnight when I made her go to sleep so she could do good the next day at class.

Kakashi spent the night in the guest room and as I had realized was going to become the usual, I spent the night being Naruko's pillow. Not that I minded, the only hard part was avoiding the nosebleeds, which was very difficult with such a soft body rubbing all over me as 'Ruko-chan got comfortable, especially because I couldn't get my mind off how beautiful she was going to be. The most horrible quirk of the human mind in my opinion is that trying _not_ to think about something actually brings it into your head that much quicker and easier. As much as I tried to distract myself and drift off to sleep, every time she moved it nearly set off a gusher of blood from my sinuses.

A manipulative bastard I might certainly have been, but a pedo I was emphatically not. Even if we were the same age physically, that didn't make taking advantage of her youth and innocence for (immediate) payoff in any way okay. The long game I was playing would require a lot of patience, and, I realized, a whole hell of a lot of tissues for my poor bleeding sinuses. It would be worth it too, and that's what I kept repeating to myself over the years as I waited for her to grow into the woman I fell hardest in love with: _She's worth the wait, she's worth the wait, she's worth the wait, don't blow it you dumbass she's worth waiting for!_


	5. Chapter 5: Making Friends

Chapter 5 – Making Friends

Thursday was close quarters weapons day. I was fine with that, I loved weapons. Any force multiplier is welcome in combat as far as I'm concerned. Once again, Iruka tested us all one at a time in one-on-one combat with practice weapons to judge our skill levels. I was mildly displeased that my skill levels with weapons weren't as above average as my unarmed combat had been, and a lot of that was once again just how much faster and stronger I was than everyone else, but then I reminded myself that I was still well ahead of the game, and that was even better considering that I had never really been trained for _armed_ combat.

I had trained extensively to make my body a weapon, but never how to use a weapon other than firearms. What little knowledge and ability I had were from my knowledge of unarmed combat, observation and playful experimentation throughout the years.

My strongest skill was knife work. I was really good at that since it was so close to unarmed combat. With a knife in hand, I'm guaranteed that any strike I successfully land will inflict damage, and therefore I can afford to be a little less precise with my strikes. Blood loss is blood loss, and a poisoned weapon makes for a very painful wound. Pain is distracting, and distraction in battle can easily be death. Even better than that, tendons and muscles and all sorts of things that can be debilitating if cut. The other thing about knife work is that speed counts for a lot more than when you're unarmed, and speed is my specialty. Who needs overwhelming force when every connection leaves a wound? A stab in the right place can kill just as surely as cleaving someone in two.

I was able to go at Iruka with significantly more ferocity than I had the day before and aim for targets which would've been useless for me to target with blunt force. I wouldn't have if not for the knowledge that I could use my knife to turn any block with my knife hand into a potentially crippling strike. The only tricky bit was minimizing the impact of his blade, and that was one hell of an exercise in dodging because of how fast he is, and the fact that he, being a chunin, is no simpleton who will focus completely on his knife and forget that he can still punch, kick, elbow, knee and all that other fun stuff that so many people forget about the instant you hand them a weapon.

I was also fairly good with a staff or any variation of it. Since so many things can be used as makeshift staffs, I had made a point to be at least mildly competent with them in my previous life since of all the improvised weapons in the world a makeshift staff was most likely to be available. I preferred a naginata to a spear, but that was because the naginata added a potential for slashing attacks to a spear's stabbing. Again, speed was very important. The longer weapons made up for a lot of my reach disadvantage against larger opponents like Iruka, and the extra impact force and focus helped with the power of my strikes. Iruka was also damn good with staff based weapons, and his guard was impeccable.

Then we had another one of my personal favorites, the kusarigama, or sickle and chain. I have a bit of a fondness for the fastest of all non-powder based weapon families (chain or rope based ones). They're light, easy to conceal, and anyone who thinks a piece of metal moving faster than the speed of sound will not do some damage clearly has no clue about what hurts. Even the little rubber weighted ropes we were practicing with stung like hell, and there were so many ways to use them beyond merely popping them like a whip. I couldn't wait to experiment more.

Thankfully we had a similar weak point in swords. I'd had no training in swords at all, so I fully expected Iruka to thoroughly trounce me in that department, and he didn't disappoint. Thankfully he was a lot more tired than I was as a result of having tested the whole class in four different types of polearms, knives and the kusarigama. I have a feeling he would have utterly pulverized me otherwise. He still got several good licks in anyway, and things did not look good for me in the subject of kenjutsu.

Then in the last twenty seconds of our test bout, I decided what the hell and tried a move I'd thought of years earlier. I brought my blade clashing against Iruka's guard in a perfect position for the classic swords crossed pushing, and then I stepped forward, twisted my sword around behind Iruka's and made a bit of a J shaped hooking motion with it, forcing Iruka's blade back out past his thumb, and if we'd been using real blades slashing the inside of his sword arm or even cutting it off, and then as his sword went spinning, the handle flipped up and I snatched it out of the air with my left hand. Then I finished the spin of my blade right into the side of his chest while I brought his blade up towards his throat. I pulled the double slash at the last second, even if they were bamboo swords, I still figured it would be best to pull that shot rather than nail Iruka in the throat and gut at the same time. There was a moment of stunned silence. Even I was surprised as hell it had actually worked.

Then I grinned and named my maneuver, "Spiral Disarming Double Slash. I can't believe it actually worked. Good fight Iruka-sensei." Iruka nodded as I returned his bamboo sword to him, "Very good. You have quite a lot of potential for kenjutsu Koga-kun." I smiled, "Thank you Sensei!"

After that was the final subject of the day, and I was honestly very excited for this one: Fire based weapons and other explosives. _Explosives_. 'Nuf said. Unfortunately I didn't know jack squat about blasting tags, so I was as much in the dark as everyone else on that subject, but I was delighted to get to learn how to blow things up anyway.

Iruka told me after class that he was going to see about bumping me up to a more advanced class again, not as high as with my taijutsu because my weapons work needed a lot more work, but I was still a lot better than the average first year. I found out a week later that he had bumped me up two years, and Tenten was in that class a year above her own. Tenten very quickly became my friend much as Izumi had. Cute set to be gorgeous, intelligent (for someone that age), and already skilled, quite promising I thought, definitely worth investing the time in to form a friendship with.

Speaking of new friends, I made another one the afternoon of that first Thursday at the Academy. His hair was white, but he wasn't that old. He was colorful and boisterous and loud, but he wasn't a (complete) fool. I had no choice but to dub Jiraiya the Jester of Konoha. Full of laughter and mockery, but very wise and insightful as well. That being said, I couldn't resist the unbelievable urge to use that explosive tag I had swiped for extra study on him within that first five minutes.

I can't recall exactly what he said when he appeared over the Academy wall, I can only guess that I've forgotten because I don't want whatever it was that was so offensive to be in the same mental file as the man I came to respect so much. Memory is funny that way, but I definitely remember having to help fix the fence and clean up the trees I blew down, and the admonishment I got for using the blast tag to set my whirlwind on fire in an attempt to fry him. Old Man Third was a little too stunned that I had managed to pull something like that off to be as fully upset with me as he might otherwise have been, and Jiraiya watched his words around me very carefully after that.

I think it was something about Naruko, I think it must've been, I can't imagine anything else setting me off like that, and Jiraiya was never anything less than a doting father figure to her for the whole time they knew each other after that, which was quite different from how he had been with Naruto in canon for at least the first chunk of their relationship. I can't be certain it was something about Naruko that he said, he may have just been more careful to read the writing on the wall after I unleashed enough fire power to level a couple of blocks trying to kill him because he pissed me off. The memory of that firestorm was enough to burn the memory of whatever was immediately before it, and even the memory of what exactly I did is a little hazy, so I'm afraid I can only sum it up like this.

I remember him popping over the wall and giving us this really smug superior look as he started talking. He was really grating on my nerves and I remember Naruko and Iruka looking irritated as well. Then he said whatever it was and I remember my vision going red, turning to him as I went for the blasting tag in my pocket, informing him that he was about to die and then there was a **_LOT_** of fire around us.

I remember waking up covered in burns with a very concerned Naruko hovering over me while Iruka did first aid. I was able to cut my eyes and see a guy covered in ash with very short black hair getting chewed out by Old Man Third. I later learned that it was Jiraiya minus his pony tail and plus a hell of a lot of ash and soot from the firestorm. Apparently, Wind Release channeled through a blast tag can serve as a lovely substitute for high powered Fire Release, and when it's a _Typhoon_ Release user doing it...well…I'm pretty sure even Jiraiya would have to really work to make a blast quite that big. The Academy yard had been flattened and all the trees had clearly been very much on fire before some quick thinking shinobi put them out, there were scorch marks all over the sides of the Academy, and everything within about three blocks smelled like smoke for a couple of days.

When I got my hearing back, Iruka yelled at me for being so reckless. Apparently the only reason I hadn't hurt him and Naruko or somebody else is because I was so focused on Jiraiya that my attack had been surprisingly focused and well aimed, and the only reason Jiraiya was singed instead of dead was because he had burrowed underground with an Earth jutsu when he realized what I was about to do.

After Iruka got done yelling at me, Jiraiya came over and apologized for his insensitivity and bad language. I couldn't even remember what he had said then, so we agreed to pretend the whole thing had never happened. He introduced himself to us in a polite and normal manner and we introduced ourselves to him and we got along great after that. Whatever that particular berserk button was, and I really think it must've been the Naruko button to have produced such a strong reaction, Jiraiya never pushed it again and he wound up being one of my most trusted allies and mentors.

That's not to say I never tried to incinerate him again, oh no, he actively _encouraged_ it as he tried to find out how I had done that. The result was my first Fire Style jutsu, Bomb Blast Dance. It took me years to get to where I could do it without the aid of a blast tag, and adding the blast tag still produces much better and faster results, so I still usually have at least one on me. Of course, I get some odd looks, but nobody questions it after they watch it or get caught on the receiving end of it, and that's nothing on the looks I got at the Academy the next day.

Nobody _knew_ right off the bat that it had been me, but they all clearly suspected, and most everybody was quite terrified of me already, so nobody really asked me any questions. I had tried to alleviate the alienation of being "scary" as best I could in the way I had always tackled such things. At lunch I went and sat with everybody else. I said nothing, as I sat there with my eyes closed chewing my lunch, just listened. To the sound of crickets chirping.

When I opened my eyes, I saw nobody there but a very annoyed Ruko-chan glaring after the rapidly retreating forms of our classmates. " _COWAAARDS!_ " she shouted after them. I smirked, "Don't worry Ruko-chan, they'll warm up to me eventually. They're just afraid, and one day, they'll see that I'm not so different from them. Once they understand me a little better, and see that I'm not going to just randomly attack them for nothing, they will stop being afraid. There are people in this world who have bigger problems than simply people running away from them in fear because of their power, I will not disrespect their hardships by pretending mine are equal. Besides…" I smiled at her, "You're still here, and I'd rather have you than a thousand cowards like them." 'Ruko-chan blushed and went back to eating with a smile.

When Tenten found out almost a month later that it was me that nearly burned the Academy down with a jutsu, I think it may very well have been her very first perverted nosebleed. It was super adorable. "Y-You did that?! But the whole Academy smelled like smoke for a week and the yard was covered in ash and soot! You're even younger than me! How did _you_ do _that?!_ "

I smiled, "Well I _was_ really angry at the time." I snorted a small laugh at her utterly dumbfounded look, "I have a kekkai genkai, it makes my chakra really powerful and easy to turn into elemental jutsu. I used it in conjunction with a blasting tag and it turned into fire. It knocked me out and I got burned really badly, but I'm trying to learn how to do it better now that I know I can." She stared at me, "So, you can do that…whenever you want?"

I smiled, "Well, I can't set it on fire without a blast tag, but whirlwinds are as easy as breathing." Then it visibly hit her, " _Wait!_ So all those rumors I've been hearing about tornados popping up around the village in the afternoons were _you?!_ " I smiled, "Well, yeah. I gotta practice some time don't I?" She stared at me for a moment, "I don't believe you! Show me!" I extended a hand with a smile, "You're gonna want to hold on."

She blushed and then took my hand. I grinned and pulled her into a hug, "Sorry, need both hands for my hand sign." I made the sign behind her back and as promised, a small whirlwind whipped up around us. I only let it go for a minute and then I snuffed it out before it could get too big. I stepped back away from Tenten with a smile, "So do you believe me n-eh, Ten-chan?" Tenten had starry eyes and a small trickle of blood coming out of her nose, "So…COOL!" I blinked and then laughed, _Yep, definitely keeping this one if Ruko-chan lets me._

I made a point to introduce 'Ruko-chan and Tenten to each other that afternoon. I had detention again, but in my defense, detention wasn't really a punishment for me so much as extra study time for me and Naruko, so I'd actually started going out of my way to make Iruka angry enough to give me detention on an almost daily basis. It happened to be that afternoon when I introduced 'Ruko-chan and Ten-chan to each other that Iruka caught on to what I was doing.

"Wait a minute!" he barked as I was beating erasers out on the concrete wall outside as fast and hard as I could to practice my punches. I paused in my pummeling, "Eh?" Iruka stalked over and subtly pointed at Naruko and Tenten before hissing, "Are you actually _trying_ to get yourself detention on a daily basis to get tutoring for Naruko?!" I blinked at him and then started chuckling, "Maaaybee…" The look on Iruka's face was absolutely priceless and I just had to laugh.

When I finished laughing Iruka asked me why I hadn't just asked for tutoring. I grinned at him, "Well Sensei, this way whenever I actually _do_ get detention unexpectedly, I'll know ways to make whatever punishment I'm given actually useful and not merely a waste of time. You could call it recon I suppose. Also," I dropped my voice to a whisper so that 'Ruko-chan wouldn't hear me, "I wasn't sure 'Ruko-chan would heed my advice and stay for tutoring. She's really free-spirited and might not go for it, she'd want to skip and go do something else, but she doesn't actually _have_ anything better to do, and if I ask her to stay and keep me company on the way home, then she'll do it and do some studying while she's here. I hate having to take advantage of her good nature like this, but she's so far behind that I have to in order to make sure she catches up. Once I get her into the routine enough, she'll do it naturally, but we're still building the routine."

Iruka looked at me like I was the most startlingly bizarre thing he'd ever seen, "You really care about her don't you?" I gave him my best "duh-huh" look, "What gave it away?" Iruka sighed and bonked me over the head, " _Detention for the rest of the week!_ " He shot me a subtle wink on the side Naruko and Tenten couldn't see and I pretended to moan and groan and carry on, called him a meanie and a spoilsport and a stick in the mud and what have you, but from then on we understood each other quite well.

I broke the Academy's record for detentions that year, and Naruko won the award for "Most Improved Student" at the end of the year. She was actually performing in the top 10 of our class academically as well as physically by the end of the year, and since I made a point to spar with her at least twice a week, she was also one of the best fighters in our class. I was terribly proud.

In fact, by the time we went home for summer break after that year, there was only one thing bothering me. Neither of us had any real friends from our own class. Neji had come around and started to be fairly amicable, we at least respected each other even if we weren't all buddy-buddy. Tenten was a very dear friend and 'Ruko-chan and I both absolutely loved hanging around with her. Naruko had actually dubbed Izumi "Onee-chan" once they met each other during one of my "detentions" and Izumi quickly became her taijutsu tutor. Sasuke was visibly jealous of me as often as not and Naruko was the envy of every girl in class except for Hinata who as in canon did the "quiet admiration from afar" thing for both of us, not that 'Ruko-chan realized it. I honestly doubt I would have either if I hadn't known what Hinata was like. Iruka was like our big brother, Old Man Third was Grandpa, and Jiraiya was the funny old uncle who'd pop in every now and again.

Kakashi we hardly ever saw, but I was certain he was usually there just out of sight, him or one of his ANBU buddies. He went back to the Land of Grass the day after I talked to him, and he had returned in a week with Obito's young half-crushed and by now moldering body. Naruko and I attended the funeral alongside Jiraiya and Old Man Third. The entire Uchiha Clan turned out to welcome their long lost kinsman home, even if it was his final homecoming. He was laid to rest right next to Rin and I'm sure he was glowing with delight wherever he was to be reunited with her. Kakashi had tears pouring as he welcomed Obito home.

I was happy, Obito hadn't become the monster of canon, but I was also deeply troubled. That had been my only lead, and the only other option was Madara. I considered prodding Jiraiya in the direction of reviving Kushina with the Edo-Tensei to question about the incident, but later I discarded the idea. Jiraiya wouldn't do it, and it would be unbearably cruel to bring Kushina back and not be able to let her stay. _No,_ I decided, _We'll have to do this the hard way._ And oh what a long and arduous trial that promised to be.

Then a few weeks later I had an idea. It was risky, but if it gleaned the information I wanted, it just might unravel everything I knew about the Kyubi Incident, and unveil the perpetrator if one existed. If it went badly, it could blow absolutely everything. What was this mystery solution you ask? After weighing my options and stressing over it for a month, I went straight to the source, Fugaku Uchiha.

It didn't take me long to find the Uchiha Clan Head's house. Sasuke opened the door and immediately shut it again when he saw it was me. I frowned at the rudeness, wrote it off as terror, and went around the house to where I could hear the sink going in the kitchen. I bounced up to look in the window, "Excuse me!" I kept bouncing and saw Mikoto looking at me in surprise. She came out the kitchen door a moment later, "Hello, can I help you?" I smiled at her, "Yes actually. I was wondering if Fugaku-san was home? I had some questions about the Sharingan and he seemed like the best person to ask." Mikoto's entire demeanor immediately became subtly guarded, "Well, he certainly is, but you do know that those are clan secrets you're asking about right?"

I smiled and gestured her closer, "I'm the best friend of the Kyubi Jinchuriki, I'm trying to clear up what happened that night and clear your clan's name." Mikoto snapped upright like I had slapped her and stared at me like I was from outer space. She stared at me in silence for a moment and then, "I see. Well, I'll, go let Fugaku know you're here."

A few minutes later, Fugaku Uchiha was giving me a glare that made it clear how he earned the name "Evil Eye Fugaku". "You had some questions for me?" he asked.

I nodded, "Yes sir. Before I begin, I'd like to ask that you bear with me, this is a weird story." He nodded, "Go on." "Would you believe I had a dream that led me to a couple of possible leads which could lead me to dispelling any and all doubts about what happened on the night of the Kyubi Incident?" Fugaku gave me a doubtful look, "Go on." I nodded, "The most important question is just one, and you have to answer it honestly okay? Everything else in the dream relies on the existence of one technique which is only available to those with the Sharingan."

Fugaku somehow got even stiffer, "Go on." "Is there a technique called Izanagi?" All the tension suddenly left Fugaku as he looked at me in confusion, "A technique called what?" I studied his face very closely, "It was called the Izanagi. In my dream, Madara Uchiha survived the battle at the Valley of the End by using a technique available only to those with the Sharingan called the Izanagi. It cost him an eye, but he survived and escaped to train a successor in his old age to take his revenge on Konoha for him. In my dream, that successor was Obito, who we now know it couldn't have been, but there was someone else who could use the technique who wasn't of the Uchiha."

Fugaku raised an eyebrow, having clearly written off me and my story as a child with a foolish nightmare, "And who was that?" "Danzo Shimura with almost a dozen stolen and implanted Sharingans hidden under his bandages courtesy of Orochimaru," I declared with all the subtlety of a rhino.

All the color went out of Fugaku immediately, "What?" My face twisted into a twitchy little grin, "See? Not so crazy is it? If I were you Fugaku-sama, I'd be looking into that old geezer mighty closely. He's the one who made your clan stay back that night isn't he? Wouldn't that make him responsible for all the mistrust the Uchiha are dealing with? Just a thought, but I didn't want a bad dream to become an awful reality. There's still time Fugaku-sama, don't waste it." I told him as I turned to leave.

Fugaku's hand snapped out and caught my shoulder, "Time for what?" He asked tightly. I looked over my shoulder with a small sad smile, "You figured it out huh? That wasn't the entire dream, and it was a nightmare, but for Sasuke, it would've been a thousand times worse." Fugaku's grip tightened and terror oozed from his every pore, "What are you talking about?"

"Ask yourself Fugaku-sama," I said quietly without meeting his gaze, "If Itachi was forced to choose between watching all of Konoha burn, or personally executing his entire clan except for Sasuke in one night, which do you think he would choose, and do you really think anyone could stop him whichever way he chose? In my dream, the Uchiha were plotting a coup. Danzo murdered someone called Shisui using the Sharingans he'd stolen and then he gave Itachi that awful choice, and your children lived the rest of their lives with the consequences…but you weren't there to see it," I added. Then I looked up and met his terrified Sharingan head on, "Please Fugaku-sama, don't let my bad dream become a reality. You're the only one who can stop it." I turned and walked out from under his now completely slack grip, "That's all I came to say, thank you for your time." Then I left.

A week later, Danzo was publicly executed for the highest treason and all his misdeeds were dragged kicking and screaming into the light. Old Man Third's rep took a massive hit for not having killed Danzo decades earlier, but I breathed a sigh of relief anyway as I felt the looming specter of the Uchiha Massacre vanish. When it was revealed that the Uchiha had been the driving force behind exposing Danzo, and that Danzo had been trying to make everybody hate them, everyone suddenly trusted them seemingly just to spite the old bastard's memory.

We still didn't know what if anything had happened the night of the Kyubi Incident, but with Danzo revealed to all and sundry in all his horrific body modi gruesomeness, it wasn't hard at all to start a rumor that he'd been behind it. With it having been exposed that he'd tried to bump off Hiruzen at one point, I think most people believed it.

I hardly ever saw Fugaku, he was a pretty busy dude and not really the pick your kid up after school type, but when I did see him, he thanked me quickly and then was gone, clearly uncomfortable with being around what he must have seen as the most frightful of oracles. That was alright, I didn't care. Scared and alive was better than dead in shame. I never told anyone, not even 'Ruko-chan about what I'd warned Fugaku of, but I think Sasuke and Itachi knew I'd had something to do with the tip about Danzo, Itachi a lot more concretely than Sasuke. Then Izumi kissed me on the cheek the next time I saw her and thanked me quietly, and I knew as my hair stood on end and my nose blasted blood into my mask that Itachi had to have told her. We never spoke of it again, but forever after that, I had friends with the Uchiha Clan.

That brought me a small degree of comfort as I realized that most if not everything I had had warning about from canon was probably not going to happen, and all the insight into my possible future opponents I'd had was probably gone and/or useless. Needless to say, that was a very disconcerting and frightful thought.


	6. Chapter 6: Cherry Blossoms and Sunshine

Chapter 6 – Cherry Blossoms and Sunshine

==Year 2, Konoha Shinobi Academy==

I cackled as I walked into the classroom. Naruko looked at me with a grin, "I know that sound, whatcha got planned for Iruka-sensei this year?" "ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!" I declared with a massive grin that had to have been visible even from behind my mask, "Imagine how paranoid he'll be!" I howled with laughter, "After everything I did last year, for me to come back and not do a thing? Oh it's gonna epic! And then, when I actually _do_ unleash a prank, I'll double layer it! One teeny little harmless prank that'll make him think I'm off my game and then a _HUGE_ one that he won't even realize has been sprung until after everyone's laughing!"

I paused in my laughter as I heard a timid voice speak up, "Y-you shouldn't be so mean to Iruka-sensei! He's really nice! Why are you so mean to him?!" I turned and looked in confusion, someone was actually _talking_ to me other than 'Ruko-chan or Ten-chan or Izumi-sensei? I blinked as I registered the very vivid pink and then I straightened up with a smile, "Oh hey, Sakura right?"

Sakura immediately blushed in surprise, "Um, yes?" I smiled a little bigger, "You don't need to worry Sakura-chan, Iruka-sensei and I have an understanding. I prank him to keep his shinobi skills good and sharp, and he tries to defend himself as best he can to sharpen mine. If I don't get him then he gives me detention and if I do then he gets laughed at, and then I still get detention but that's more just extra training time for me than actual punishment. Pranking is actually a very wide spread pastime among the upper echelons of shinobi, it's a good harmless way for us to keep each other on our toes. And there's no need to act so timid around me, I'm not going to bite you unless you're made of candy." I leaned forward slightly and gave her a teasing smirk, "You're not made of candy are you?"

"No!" Sakura exclaimed, apparently genuinely terrified that I might consider eating her. I chuckled and 'Ruko-chan was suddenly right next to her stage-whispering with a mischievous grin, "He actually might nibble you a little if you're into that, but between you and me, he's much more a kissy-kissy romantic. The nibbling's more my thing." Sakura shrieked at the inappropriateness of 'Ruko-chan's teasing and I had such a nosebleed that 'Ruko-chan had to catch me to keep me from collapsing.

Sakura was immediately concerned, "Is he alright?!" 'Ruko-chan laughed, "Yeah, he always gets like this whenever he sees or hears something he really _really_ likes, like me for example." "He…collapses whenever he sees you?" Sakura asked in confusion. 'Ruko-chan laughed and pulled my mask loose from my face so the blood could drain out, "No silly! He just gets really bad nosebleeds. You can ask your parents about it this afternoon." I coughed and spat out some of the blood that had gotten into my mouth, "You're, not supposed to know about those things yet 'Ruko-chan…"

'Ruko-chan snorted and licked my carotid artery in a way that could only be termed almost feral, sending an electric shock of pleasure straight into my brain and a geyser of blood straight out my nose, "Then why are there so many _books_ at home on it? It's only nature." I was starting to get really light headed, "Fine, fine, shame on me for not sorting out and hiding the mature stuff, but please for the love of kami quit making my nose bleed like this, I don't want to have to be dragged in to class unconscious." 'Ruko-chan giggled, "No promises!" I groaned lightly, "We _really_ need to have a talk later…and you need to show me whatever books you've been reading…"

'Ruko-chan's voice made it clear she was grinning from ear to ear, "Sure thing Koga-kun, we'll _talk_ after class." Then she whispered in my ear in a voice that was way too sexy and loaded with WAY too much innuendo to be coming out of a seven year old, "We're going to _talk_ … _all. Night. Long._ " That did it, I was out.

I woke up about three hours later, and noticed that the room was decidedly lacking in girls. I snapped bolt upright and looked around, "'Ruko-chan?" then it registered with me that the entire room was looking at me and then they were sniggering. Iruka was trying hard not to laugh, "Well Koga, I'm glad to see that you're finally awake. The girls have all gone to kunoichi class which will now be held on Wednesdays in the mornings. If you would please open your military strategy textbook to page two hundred and forty three, we're on the section about the Nine Situations. If you would please read we're on the second paragraph."

I opened my textbook and quickly scanned the words before reading them and then I hung my head with a grin as I tried to hold back the nosebleed and extended a hand to Shikamaru, "Shikamaru, I'm gonna need to borrow your textbook if you don't mind. This one is _definitely_ not military strategy." Shikamaru roused himself enough to look at me in confusion, "Then what is it?" "A work of fiction by our wonderful Sannin Jiraiya, which Naruko undoubtedly planted in my military strategy textbook's cover to catch me off guard and make me have another massive nosebleed for laughs. I can't very well read this aloud to the class, so if you would please let me borrow your textbook Shikamaru."

Iruka squawked, "WHAT?!" Then he seemed to teleport to the back of the room, snatched up the book in question and upon reading a few lines immediately had a nosebleed that made the one 'Ruko-chan had given me earlier look like a teeny little trickle. Iruka was down for the count almost immediately. I looked at him and then smacked the table three times and gestured towards the window with my thumb, "ONE TWO THREE! YOU'RE OUT!" That got the whole class laughing.

Iruka weakly raised a hand and pointed at me, "Koga, detention. You know the drill." I rested my face in my hand with a smile, "Damn it Naruko…" Then I realized something was off, "Guys, why is my hair pink?" They hadn't been truly laughing before. _NOW_ they were laughing about hard enough to fall out of their seats. "Well," I mused aloud, "At least now I know what she was reading. Can't decide if I should kick Jiraiya's ass for lending her that kind of ammo or thank him." I thought about it for a moment, "Ah what the hell, she's a natural anyway. Might as well thank him next time I see him."

Looking back on that moment, I have to wonder if Naruko planned it that way. The humiliating little incident actually seemed to serve to humanize me to the rest of the class and they all opened up to me a lot after that. At lunch, I found myself the center of attention as the entire class's worth of guys all wanted to know more about their class's enigmatic ace.

Sasuke was the first and most prominent questioner wanting to know how I had gotten so strong. I scratched my head, "Mmm…well, in what way? There are many kinds of strength you know. If you're referring to my chakra, that's a kekkai genkai the same as the Sharingan. It's called Typhoon Release, it gives my chakra a lot more _oompf._ That may also be why my physical abilities are so much higher than everyone else, chakra is half physical you know, so if my chakra is more powerful, then my mind and physical must be strong too. If you're asking about my personal strength, that comes from experiences, bad ones that you don't want that I don't want to talk about, and I've got someone who I want to be strong for, so that helps a lot."

"You mean Naruko right?" Choji asked. I nodded, "Mmhmm. That's right." "So, so is she your _giiirlfriiiend_?" Choji sing-songed. I blinked and pondered that for a moment, "I'd have to ask her, but I'd say yes." Then came the obvious and immediate chorus, "Koga and Naruko sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"

Then a pair of orange and white clad arms wrapped around me and long blonde hair brushed over my shoulder. Naruko grinned at them over my shoulder, "Every day boys!" Then she kissed me through my mask, winked at me and skipped back to the girls' table. I blinked after her in surprise and then looked back at my stunned classmates, "That would be a big happy yes on her being my girlfriend. You all have my full permission to be jealous now." I took another bite and enjoyed the stunned silence.

Then, _"He's got the cooties!_ " some bright spark exclaimed. There was an immediate shuffle to get away from me. I blinked at them and then my face split into a wicked grin. I rubbed my hands together quickly and then flexed my fingers like claws as I allowed my weird purple chakra to manifest around me and lend me a sinister air, " _THE INFECTION MUST BE SPREAD!"_

I took just a second to revel in the looks of absolute terror on their faces. Then I lunged at them cackling evilly and what ensued was an immediate game of impromptu tag that took the rest of lunch. They certainly got their exercise that day. I hadn't known they could move that fast. Apparently the threat of pink hair courtesy of my Transformation Jutsu was an incredible motivator.

Choji was the first one I caught, but Shikamaru gave him a "cootie shot" as he was completely unfazed by my threats of "infection". I allowed the jutsu to dispel on Choji out of sympathy for the little butter ball. Everyone else was stuck with pink hair for the rest of the day, or until they could get to Shikamaru for a cootie shot without me tagging them. Needless to say, since I sat right next to Shikamaru, nobody else escaped their pink hair until after they left for the day. Well, nobody except Iruka. He dispersed his immediately when he realized he had it.

I allowed a slow transformation to seep across my hair as the afternoon went on, turning it slowly back to its natural dark near blackish brown, but I let the red in my hair all coalesce in my sideburns and the bottoms of the spikes that characterized the untamable bird's nest my hair had become upon waking up in an anime world. If it worked like I intended, it would look a bit like Ryuko Matoi's hair from _Kill la Kill_. Even though she was a girl, I had to admit her hair looked pretty damn cool in Kamui form. I'd copy her color pattern for at least long enough to see if 'Ruko-chan liked it. If she did, I'd keep it. If not, it was a transformation, I could get rid of it in a heartbeat.

Military Strategy class lasted the rest of the morning, then the girls came back and Naruko was quite openly possessive of me, making a point to play with my at that point very pink hair while I was getting comfortable to meditate. I let her go for a minute and then I smiled at her as I cracked an eye, "Okay 'Ruko-chan, that's enough. You need to meditate before you get in trouble." 'Ruko-chan snorted at me, "But it's so useless! We've both already unlocked our chakra, and I can use all the jutsu I need to graduate except for the clone jutsu…Why do I need to meditate?"

I exhaled, "Because 'Ruko-chan, it will make your chakra stronger and increase your control. If you don't refine your control, you won't be able to do the clone jutsu. You know that. It'll also help you learn to be still and quiet, which is good for your stealth skills, and it gives you time to think. Thinking's important you know." 'Ruko-chan laid her chin on my shoulder and pouted into my ear, "Spoilsport. Alright, I'll meditate, but I want ramen tonight." I smiled, "Then ramen we'll have." 'Ruko-chan made a little pleased noise and then slid back over to her meditation mat.

I watched her get into a comfortable position out the corner of my eye and then closed my own as I settled into my own meditation. It was really something, having chakra to mess around with. It was a bit like having a seething inner core of goo that responded to my thoughts and actions. My "goo" was cold, and gave me a sensation like a bittersweet drink, bit like a soda on a hot day, and my emotions shook the bottle, increasing the power and making it erupt in a blast of metaphorical fizz. The one time I had directly interacted with 'Ruko-chan's chakra, it had been warm. Not unpleasantly hot, but warm and welcoming like the blanket you curl under to wait out the thunderstorm raging outside.

That had been one hell of a day, Naruko had unlocked her chakra with help from Jiraiya and we had all been taken aback when her chakra manifested like mine had, as a huge glowing nimbus of power. Well, comparatively huge. It was about twice as big as she was. Mine was usually about triple my size if I had my emotions running high. As one might've expected of her, it was a fiery orange chakra as opposed to my bone-chilling purple.

Jiraiya had been the one to suggest we wade into each others' chakra fields to get a feel for it. I churned mine out first since I was a little more practiced with doing so, and when 'Ruko-chan waded into it, it was like she had been fed a can of pure energy. Her eyes lit up, her face split into a huge excited grin and she was almost trembling with excitement. She looked like she had guzzled a twenty four pack of energy drinks, and even after I allowed my chakra to dissipate, she was still extra bouncy for the rest of the day.

When I had waded into 'Ruko-chan's chakra, it had almost brought tears of relief to my eyes with how comforting and safe it felt. I had to battle the urge to throw myself at her, hug her and break down in tears. I instead managed to throw myself backwards out of her chakra and scrambled back away panting and staring. 'Ruko-chan had looked very hurt and confused, then I asked, "How can _anyone_ be that… _wonderful_? Nobody could withstand that…" Jiraiya had looked from me to the very confused Naruko, back to me, and then he stuck his hand into Naruko's chakra field and went to his knees with tears pouring. I looked at him, "Told ya."

"What's, what's wrong?" 'Ruko-chan asked, looking like she was almost in tears herself, "Did I do it wrong?" "Turn it off 'Ruko-chan and I'll be able to hug you without breaking down into tears," I told her quietly, "Your chakra feels so good, so wonderful and warm and kind, that I don't think anyone with a heart could touch it without feeling as though they've come home after a long horrid journey…It's too much for me to keep up my scary tough guy routine…" I added with a small smile.

'Ruko-chan took a moment to register that and then, "So, you two were crying because you were happy?" "So happy that if I hadn't gotten out of your chakra when I did I would never have been able to leave," I told her with the utmost honesty. Then curiosity got the better of me, "So…what did my chakra feel like?" 'Ruko-chan smiled, "It was like…like having the wind at my back and running just as fast as I could and leaving everything and everyone else in the dust, and it had this sort of excitement and power to it…"

"You two are something else…" Jiraiya groaned as he managed to pull himself together, "A pair of totally addictive chakras with titanic magnitude. If you two ever have kids, I hope the world survives their reign, because nobody could resist such a charisma as what the two of you together would produce…" I blinked at him and then an evil grin split across my face as wicked thoughts began to boil in my mind. Naruko and Jiraiya blinked and then Jiraiya got pale as Naruko's expression changed to match mine. I could just almost hear Jiraiya thinking, _Oh kami, I've created a monster…_

Ironically I think he might have actually explained the monster _slayer_ known as "talk-no-jutsu". If Naruko's words were laced with that sort of warm, comforting, welcoming chakra, then they would be able to make people _want_ to believe them, and the more was poured into it, the more they'd want to believe it, an incredibly subtle hypnotic genjutsu which would undoubtedly have the power to change the world.

That night she had blindsided me with her chakra after we got to bed and I'd had no choice but to fire back to keep from becoming completely overpowered by my body's natural urges. If we had been older, we would've had sex. Wild, torrid, unrestrained, borderline _manic_ sex. Even with our ages being what they were, it still almost happened. That was the first time I ever had to raise my voice at Naruko. Jiraiya was right, the combined effect of our chakra was an almost irresistible aphrodisiac. My body very nearly started acting without me. If Naruko hadn't been startled into releasing her chakra when I shouted at her, I might've been overwhelmed and crossed lines that night. When I recovered enough to talk, I made her promise not to use her chakra like that around me for at least the next seven years and threatened to move to my own room if she did it again.

Apparently that was a sufficiently terrible threat to convince her not to do it again because she was as good as her word. She never tried to blindside me with her chakra again. I had made sure to explain to her _why_ she couldn't be blindsiding me with her chakra like that yet, narrowly skirting the edges of explaining sex to her while still making it clear that it could get her seriously hurt, make _me_ seriously hurt her, and she had seemed to understand as she apologized and promised not to do it again. By the time we were ready to try mixing our chakras again, we were fifteen, and hoo-boy was _that_ a wild night…but anyway, back to the story.

I had managed to refine my control significantly over the summer. Of course, that had been about all I did, was practice and focus and try to increase my control. It had taken a lot of time, and I still didn't have the level of control I wanted. I couldn't pin point aim my chakra, it was just too powerful. Trying to turn a leaf was like trying to use a cannon to shoot the flea off a rat's butt crack without hurting the rat. I could turn a _frying pan_ , but a leaf? A single leaf? No way in hell. Unfortunately, that was the kind of control required for subtle jutsu.

As was, I could be a devastating warrior. Drop me onto a battlefield, and I'd have been able to wipe it clean of all but the strongest warriors in minutes. So, I would've been fine if I wanted to be a samurai, or a frontline massacre machine, but that's not what I was trying to be. I was trying to be a _shinobi_ , a ninja, a ghost. That requires subtlety, and subtle is one thing my chakra was most emphatically not, which means little jutsu, like Substitution, standard Clone and Transformation? No way, couldn't do it. The transformation I was using on my hair and everyone else's? That was a seal induced jutsu using fuinjutsu to extract the equivalent of an eye dropper full from the raging sea of my chakra. It was in the palm of my hand and it constantly refilled itself, a teaspoon eternally dipping out of a lake.

The upside was that such a tiny amount of chakra would respond to my thoughts as easily as any of my limbs and do whatever I wanted. I didn't need hand signs to do the jutsu the seal enabled once such a tiny amount had been summoned forth and isolated from the rest, a mere thought was sufficient to charge it with purpose and control the jutsu. The obvious downside was that I couldn't do it without help. By Jiraiya's estimate, with the amount of power my chakra naturally put into jutsu, I'd probably end up inducing permanent change on a much grander scale than I intended, like permanently turning their whole body vibrant pink instead of just their hair, or simply blowing things up. What's worse is that because I _had_ a crutch, I'd have to force myself to train until I didn't need it anymore, or risk losing it and control of my subtler abilities right when I needed them most. Yes I'm paranoid like that.

So now I balanced a book on my head and spun it with my chakra. The book was significantly lighter than my frying pan, but it was still heavy enough that it didn't get launched flying by the force of my chakra. I focused and began trying to reduce the amount of chakra moving on the surface. I couldn't stop my chakra altogether, stopping the deep current of my chakra coils would've been death, or at the very least temporary paralysis, the important bit was the surface of my chakra, the bit shinobi dredged up chakra from to power their jutsu. Chakra control at this level was all about manipulating the surface, how much you took, how much you affected mentally. Ninjutsu was almost exclusively surface use, that was the difference between it and genjutsu, which concentrated on affecting the deep currents.

Genjutsu was the chakra equivalent of invasive implant surgery done on the fly. You would need a frightening intellect and lightning quick analytical and observational skills to be good at it, no doubt why the Sharingan enabled such powerful genjutsu. With the rapid observation and comprehension the Sharingan allowed, genjutsu would be much much easier. An ordinary genjutsu user might be able to lay a genjutsu the likes of the Tsukiyomi if they had a few minutes and a preexisting understanding of the enemy's chakra, for example as a medic, or if they had been spying on their target with the Byakugan for a little while, but with the Sharingan's ability to comprehend at lightning fast speeds and a bit of practice, you'd be able to gain that understanding in seconds and fire off even powerful genjutsu because you'd already know exactly what you needed to do to make it take and be able to react to changes in the target's chakra much quicker than anyone else. It would be the difference between having an exact map and instructions for traversing a wide sunny highway or stumbling about through a briar thicket in the dark. Little wonder a brainiac like Itachi was an absolute monster with it, it was like giving a tank an impenetrable forcefield for a battle against kids with water balloons, just plain damn overkill.

Medical jutsu was to Taijutsu what Genjutsu was to Ninjutsu, deep vs surface. Taijutsu was using chakra to strengthen the user's body, or destroy the enemy's. Medical jutsu focused on repairing or dismantling the body at a much deeper and subtler level. A Taijutsu user would apply their chakra to their own body and then their body to that of the enemy to deal crushing damage. Offensive Medical jutsu took out the middle man as it were and just applied the user's chakra directly to the opponent's body with destructive intent. Again, dojutsu made that a lot easier as evidenced by the Hyuga Clan. Gentle Fist was basically just ultra-blunt offensive Medical jutsu, a bit of a middle ground between medical and taijutsu, calculated stabbing vs sadistic surgery.

 _And fuinjutsu is…what?…SHIT!_ I was snapped from my reverie by the sound of conspicuous quiet and narrowly managed to block as Iruka swung the padded stick at my head. It wasn't _very_ padded, it just had maybe a half inch of cloth around it, but it was a nice touch. He certainly didn't have to pad it. I blasted chakra through my forearms and blew him back with a little shockwave (something else I'd learned to do over the summer). Iruka backflipped midair and landed on his feet in a relaxed pose with the stick on his shoulder and a grin. I had to give him props, that was pretty damn smooth and I told him as much, "Now why are you trying to hit me in the head with a…oh wait, I get it. Fair enough, continue."

I went back to meditating as Iruka explained to the class that from now on he was going to periodically be whacking people to make sure they were maintaining an awareness of their surroundings as we'd need to be able to maintain our chakra control even in the heat of battle and that many a shinobi had been offed by less skilled opponents simply because they were caught off guard and couldn't ready their chakra in time to defend because they were startled. There wasn't a lot of progress made that day, everybody else was too busy waiting for Iruka to sneak up behind them and get them with the stick. I was focusing on keeping the surface tension of my chakra high so that I could unleash another shockwave if Iruka tried to swat me again. Then another thought occurred to me and I readied to emit a wave of chakra from my head.

When I did, I tried to make it a thin layer and keep it connected. I could tell from the sound of rapid air flow that it hadn't worked like I wanted. It also didn't have the intended effect of acting as a sensory field. I think that was because I hadn't been able to keep it connected. That was the other issue I had with Substitution, it was really hard to keep my chakra connected once I sent it out. I could move it at will, but keeping it connected was extremely…I stopped and then a wicked grin slid across my face. I opened my eyes and shot glances around the room. I launched globs of my chakra at first Shikamaru on the far left and then Kiba on the far right the way I would for Substitution. Then once they'd stuck I grinned, _SWITCH!_ I felt them move and then I heard them yelp in surprise.

I quickly looked left and right as a huge grin broke out over my face, _IT WORKED!_ I cackled and pumped my fists as I rocked back and forth with glee, _"_ _YES!_ " Even if I couldn't move myself with Substitution yet, being able to move other people with it was just as good if not better and I'd never even heard of anyone else being able to do it! Then I paused and shot glances around, _I wonder how many I can move at once?_ In seconds I had attached my chakra to everyone in the room, and then I drew a little line down the middle, marking each of them in my head with a number, then _SWITCH!_

Everyone in the room was immediately substituted with the person I had paired them with in my head. I must've looked slightly manic with glee, but that was some seriously epic shit right there. If I could get to where I could force other people to Body Flicker wherever I wanted the way I had just forced Substitutions on my classmates, I'd be able to throw entire armies off cliffs at will! I'd be able to control entire battlefields like that little game with the three cups and the pebble! This was one of the ultimate tactical abilities, to be able to force the enemy into any position I wanted, no matter how compromising it might be or how many of them there were so long as I could tag them with my chakra. Then I realized another use and my excitement grew, if I could move _objects_ that easily, I'd be able to make it rain boulders, logs, blades, anything I wanted, any _where_ I wanted! With this jutsu, I'd be able to completely dominate any battlefield I could see! Then the power potential if I could unlock the Second Hokage's sensory abilities occurred to me and I went slightly slack jawed with awe at my own awesomeness. Conceited? Maybe, but this was insanely powerful stuff I'd just accessed. I wasn't like a kid in a candy store. I was the kid whose parents just bought the candy store and said he could have as much as he wanted.

I looked down at my hands with a sense of wonder and then my face twisted back into a wicked grin, "I wonder what else I can do…" Iruka whacked me over the head with the bamboo, "You can quit disturbing everyone and experiment later is what you can do! This is meditation time, not ninjutsu experimentation time!" I rubbed my head and glared at him, "Spoilsport."

Iruka snorted at me and tapped the bamboo stick on his shoulder, "There will be plenty of time for experimentation this afternoon. Speaking of which," he looked at the rest of the class, "I'm going to start having voluntary tutoring sessions after class five days a week for ninjutsu, genjutsu, taijutsu, and written and extra subjects. You are all welcome to attend any time you please, and barring exceptional circumstances detentions will now consist of mandatory attendance to these sessions. There's no reason for detention to be a fruitless waste of time after all. If any of you wish to get a leg up on your competition in one of those subjects, I recommend attending."

I rubbed my head, "Are ya gonna talk the other more specialized instructors into helping out with these extra sessions occasionally?" Iruka nodded, "I thought about it. I might also get specialists to drop by and do guest tutoring. It promises to be quite educational for all in attendance. I'll make announcements in class if I get any guest tutors." I raised an eyebrow, "Cool. Well I'll be there, but you knew that already." Iruka grinned, "Yep, now everyone back to your meditating. I want to see some serious concentration!" There was a little grumbling but everyone went back to meditating.

==That Afternoon==

I stepped into the ring across from Iruka, "Ya know Sensei, I kinda figured you'd do ninjutsu or genjutsu today. I wasn't expecting taijutsu and bukijutsu." Iruka smiled as he brandished his wooden practice kunai, "Part of being a shinobi is being unpredictable." I drew my wooden katana and settled into my stance, "True. Ready?" " _Fight!_ " Iruka declared before rushing me.

I sprang up and spun horizontally over his head before landing and bringing my sword around to slash across his back. Iruka spun and dodged around my blade before crossing his kunai and forcing my blade down to the ground to keep me from using it to block the roundhouse kick he spun out at me. I twisted my blade and brought it sliding out from under his kunai and up to catch his leg. The force of his kick was still enough to drive me back and sideways because he'd caught me off guard, but not far, and I was able to twist my blade and bring it down across the upper part of his leg, a crippling strike if we'd been using real blades. I followed up with a thrust into Iruka's ribs and grinned as I felt it slide under his flak jacket into his left kidney, "Checkmate Sensei, you're dead."

Iruka stumbled back and laid a hand over the point of impact, which was undoubtedly throbbing even though I hadn't put a terrible amount of force into my strike. He looked at me with a pained grin, "You've improved! Who's your tutor? Maybe I should ask him to do a guest spot…ow…" I smiled as I resealed my practice blade, "That would be Kakashi-sensei. I pestered him nonstop until he agreed to teach me. That and 'Ruko-chan gave him the puppy dog eyes of irresistibility."

I walked over to the weapons rack and pulled out a pair of practice knives, "Want to see how my knifework is?" Iruka straightened up and slid into a stance, "Sure." I crouched into my stance, "Ready?" " _Fight!"_ We launched at each other and as always Iruka's guard and speed were frustratingly good. Keeping out of his range was extremely difficult, and with kunai in hand getting inside his range would be suicide even if I could strike quickly enough. The only way to win was through attrition, to force him to block and make him pay for it, targeting not his body or vitals but the very arms and hands he was fighting me with. Once those were disabled, his defenses would crumble and he'd be like a wounded deer running from a hungry wolf. Unfortunately, Iruka was wise to my tactics and we wound up in a stalemate of testing and dodging each other. After two minutes, the timer rang and neither of us had found sufficient opening to deal a significant blow. Iruka straightened up, "Very good. I suppose Kakashi-san has trained you in this area as well?"

I nodded, "Yep. 'Ruko-chan's been learning too." "Don't go getting his expectations up!" 'Ruko-chan exclaimed from the sidelines, "We both know you're some kind of superhuman, don't make him think I'm on your level!" "Koga-san is really strong," Sakura agreed, "He's fighting evenly with Iruka-sensei." "I bet my nee-san is stronger," Sasuke declared. "Nah," 'Ruko-chan replied dismissively with a smile, "Koga-kun's the best."

"Don't argue with him on that one 'Ruko-chan," I told her, "Itachi is Izumi-sensei's boyfriend. You know, the same one she says trounces her every time they spar like it's nothing? I'm still not strong enough to beat Izumi-sensei, so anyone strong enough to beat her is leaps and bounds above my level. Give me a few more years of training and practice before you go setting me up to fight Jonin yeah? Chunin are quite tough enough, I'm not ready to go biting off such big bites yet."

"I guess my reputation precedes me," Itachi declared around a rice ball. We all did a double take as we realized he had popped up seemingly out of thin air crouched between Sasuke and Sakura. "If by reputation you mean that I've heard how incredibly scary your abilities are, yeah, I've heard," I replied as Sasuke tackled him with a delighted hug. Unfortunately, Naruko immediately wanted to see me and Itachi fight to see who was stronger, and after a second Sasuke was on board with the idea, and then Sakura too.

I shook my head at them, "No, I already know Itachi's strength is far beyond mine. There is no need to fight him to see which of us is stronger. Even with three of me at my current level, I doubt I could beat one of Itachi." "What about four?!" Naruko demanded. "Not even ten would be sufficient," I replied, "Itachi is a prodigy with genjutsu as well as being extremely skilled with fire release. I'd need sensor abilities good enough to fight blindfolded to even begin to consider facing him, and his fire is the natural counter to my wind release. If you do not believe that he is strong, then I have an idea to prove it to you. All three of you fight me at once, and then I will fight him so that you may see just how strong he is."

I tossed them the practice knives and Sasuke and Sakura caught them. "Come on. I'm still fired up," I sprang back and landed in my stance, "let's see how you three do as a team." They looked at each other and then Naruko drew her own practice sword from its seal with a grin, "Well if you insist Koga-kun, we'll kick your ass." Sasuke bounced up grinning, "Right! With all three of us even you can't win!" Sakura had looked nervous at first, fighting wasn't her specialty, but now she was getting swept up in Naruko and Sasuke's enthusiasm and she got up as well.

I smiled as they rushed me, "Somebody call the school nurse. This might get a little… _bumpy_." I resisted the urge to test my Forced Substitution and simply rocketed forward, closing the distance much faster than any of them had anticipated. In an instant, I disarmed Naruko and proceeded to sweep Sasuke and her both before turning my attention to Sakura who had pulled up short. Now she was looking scared at realizing two of the top fighters in our age group had just been flattened before she could even think of making a strike. I jumped and made to drop a tremendous overhead slash at her only to intentionally miss and instead launch a flat handed shove into her midriff with enough force to launch her out of the ring. Naruko cried out in surprise and immediately found the edge of her own practice blade whistling down at her face. I pulled it mere inches from her face and then twisted to intercept Sasuke who had recovered and was trying to rush me from behind. Naruko swept me as my attention focused on Sasuke and as I rolled away I let her have her blade back by relinquishing my grasp on it. I didn't need it, and I wouldn't be able to restrain myself as well if I kept it.

Sasuke was trying to rush me again and he ran right into my right jab in the gut. Naruko tried to duck around him and keep me busy with her sword but I drove a straight fingered jab in under her guard and crumpled her like a tin can. Then Sakura popped out from behind her with her knife coming at my neck, and in the blink of an eye I'd caught her hand and twisted it behind her back before taking her knife out of her hand and laying it to each of my opponents' throats in turn, "Dead, dead, dead." I declared with a smile, "But that was very good determination from all three of you. Maybe you'll be a genin cell one day."

Then I turned to Itachi, "Now if you three will please clear the ring, I believe I owed you a chance to see a pro in action. If Itachi's agreeable that is." Itachi nodded as he rose to his feet, "I suppose since they're so eager." It was amazing how quickly the three of them caught their second wind to scamper out of the ring and watch with rapt attention as Itachi entered.

I settled into my stance, "Shall we go all out?" Itachi shook his head, "No, I think a clash of our ninjutsu would demolish the area and hurt somebody. Just taijutsu I think. You wanted them to see how strong I am, do you mind if I use my Sharingan?" I smiled, "If I can make you resort to that, then I'll consider myself quite an accomplished fighter." Itachi nodded, "Very well. Ready?" "Fight." I declared and immediately got launched.

To call Itachi's speed merely blinding would be understating it. Before I even landed, he was clotheslining me and then hammering an axe kick into the back of my head before sitting on my back with a practice blade at my neck. "Dead," he said calmly. The entire "fight", if you could even call it that, lasted maybe two seconds. MAYBE two seconds.

I looked at the three utterly stunned members of my audience with a bit of sourness, "Told ya. You don't pick fights with Jonin if you want to live, especially ones who are renowned as bad asses among bad asses and always remember that no matter how good you are, there's _always_ someone better, and nothing is impossible. Even with my ninjutsu, Itachi would probably have snared me in a genjutsu before I could get a single shot off and learned all of my abilities and tricks before the fight even began, assuming he didn't just stick a blade in me or roast me before I could break the genjutsu."

"Don't sell yourself so short," Itachi said as he lifted his blade away from my neck and got off me, "Your taijutsu and bukijutsu are several years ahead of where they should be. If your ninjutsu and genjutsu are of similar caliber, then I expect you could graduate from the Academy within the year." I smiled as I pulled myself to my feet, "You are too kind Itachi-san, I know I am not yet ready to be a genin. I still have much to learn and my control is still sorely lacking. Your kind words are greatly appreciated though."

Itachi nodded with a smile, "Fair enough. I will look forward to sparring with you again one day. Should you ever feel yourself ready, come seek me out and I will be happy to spar you. For now though," he turned to Iruka, "if you will excuse me Iruka-sensei, I must be getting Sasuke home. I've got a lot of promises of shuriken-jutsu tutoring to make up to him." "Really?!" Sasuke asked delightedly. Itachi nodded at him with a smile, "You up for it?" I hadn't seen such a glomping since Naruko met Kakashi. I found out a few days later from Kakashi that Itachi had retired from the ANBU that day and was going to be taking up regular Jonin duties instead.

Sakura looked slightly put out that Sasuke was leaving, but 'Ruko-chan and I made sure her mind was kept thoroughly off it by running her completely ragged for the next forty-five minutes or so. She did improve a lot though even in such a small amount of time, and I made sure she knew it. She needed the help, and I'd hate to see her get hurt down the road and know I could've gotten her the help she needed then and not done it.

When her mom came back to pick her up at the end of the study session (Iruka had explained it to her at regular let out time and she'd been agreeable), I grinned through my mask at Sakura, "Come on back tomorrow Sakura-chan, you improved a lot today. Keep training with us and you'll catch up to us in no time." Sakura had looked at us with wide eyes and then smiled with a blush, told us she would, and never missed an after school training session again unless she was out sick.

After we left and were walking to Ichiraku, 'Ruko-chan looked over at me, "Do you really think Sakura will catch up to us?" I looked up at the sky, "I doubt she'll ever have the raw power we do, but there's nothing saying she can't learn phenomenal control and chakra efficiency to get titanic effects to rival ours even with such small chakra. She's a smart girl and not that tough physically yet, so if she decides to continue with that balance of abilities as she grows older, then she may grow into a very powerful genjutsu user or a med-ninja or fuinjutsu specialist, perhaps even all of them if she really capitalizes on her strength in smarts. If she does follow one of those paths, then she'll be a rarity as very few choose to specialize in such difficult arts, but that rarity will only make her more formidable, and as I said, there's nothing stopping her from learning all three. She'll just have to devote a lot of time and energy towards her studies. If she does, then even as strong as we'll be, she may very well one day be capable of confronting us on an equal footing. If she has the strength of will to do it, then I think she can. Never underestimate the power of determination 'Ruko-chan, it can move the world if it's strong enough. I may be wrong about a lot of things in life, but I'm right about that."

"So, what do you think I'll be?" 'Ruko-chan asked. I looked over at her and smiled, "Whatever you want 'Ruko-chan. The power at your disposal, once you tap it in full, is far greater than mine. You'll be strong enough to shake down the world one day, and even before that day comes, you'll be strong, but not because of your chakra or your mind or your body, no, I think your greatest power is one even rarer and stronger still." "What?" she asked me curiously. I smiled and poked her in the heart, "This right here."

She looked at me in confusion, "My heart?" I smiled at her, "There's something about you 'Ruko-chan, I don't know quite what. It manifests when you radiate your chakra aura, and I don't think anyone could resist it. It's a sort of magnetism I suppose, a charisma or something. You're just so darn likable…I think you could make anyone with even a shred of decency in them your friend if they gave you a chance to talk, and that's a rare and incredible power indeed." She raised an eyebrow at me, "You really think so?" I raised an eyebrow right back, "You made a best friend out of me with just a hello didn't you? I'm a total hermit, but you cracked my shell like it was nothing. You've got something special about you 'Ruko-chan, and I know you'll use it right as life goes on."

Naruko blushed and looked away, "Why do you always have such a high opinion of me? It's kind of embarrassing 'tebayo…I mean what if I can't live up to your expectations?" I caught her by the shoulder, "Oy." She looked at me and I smiled at her, "You're alive aren't you?" Naruko frowned in confusion at me, "Yeah, why?" I pulled her into a hug, "Then you've already exceeded my expectations for my life. Just you being here with me makes it better than I could've ever hoped. So don't ever think I'm disappointed in you, because I never will be. Got it?" A small voice in the back of my head asked, _isn't that what love is?_ I was so surprised by the thought I almost voiced it aloud but instead I just hugged 'Ruko-chan tighter, _Eh, she knows already._


	7. Chapter 7: The Lab

Chapter 7 – The Lab

==Six Months Later==

I slammed the book down next to me irritably with uncharacteristic force and reached for the next one, "Not this one either! Damn it where is it?! Did he not have any records of it?!" Naruko came in yawning, "Records of what?" "Foreign Kekkai Genkai!" I barked in a voice made harsh by my frustration, "I _know_ the other lands have to have some, so why in the hell can't I find any data on them?! Unique shit like the Sharingan and Byakugan that can't be replicated by random chance and quirk of genetics! There have to be more! So where's the data?! Countermeasures, random encounters, spy reports, every scrap of information the Second Hokage ever even glanced at should be in this library in a book, so where the hell is the stuff on kekkai genkai?!"

'Ruko-chan laughed nervously, and I shot a glance over my shoulder, "You know exactly where it is don't you?" "I…might have been reading it on the toilet for the last month…" she admitted with a slightly embarrassed grin, "It's in the cabinet next to the toilet paper. Sorry, I didn't know you were looking for it." I sighed and let my irritation out, no harm no foul, "Well there's no problem with that. Is there anything in there on the Ketsuryugan? I saw it brought up in a combat report as being as tough as the Sharingan and wanted to look into it."

'Ruko-chan tilted her head, "Why?" I smiled, "Well 'Ruko-chan, it occurs to me that since I have my Typhoon Release kekkai genkai, I probably don't have any others, but what if I could get another one? Eyes can be transplanted, Kakashi-sensei's proof of that. Well I can't go robbing Hyuga's and Uchiha's of their eyes, but what about enemy shinobi? They'd do it to ours in a heartbeat, why not have a little literal eye for an eye?"

'Ruko-chan furrowed her brows and frowned, "No. I like your eyes." I blinked and then discarded the notion. An opportunistic power grab wasn't worth upsetting her over, "Very well. However there are more ways to obtain kekkai genkai. They're carried by blood, therefore why can't blood transfusions be used to grant kekkai genkai? Imagine if I could devise a seal which would allow me to take the blood of any kekkai genkai wielder, and make a potion that could bestow their power on anyone who drank it? Even if it were only temporary, can you imagine having say, the Sharingan, my Typhoon Release and something like the First Hokage's Wood Release? Being able to produce a hybrid dojutsu from the Byaku and Sharingan that combined the best of both? The creation of new and ever more powerful kekkai genkai is doable, and we don't have to wait for nature and chance to take their course. If I can get my hands on that DNA, I can begin work that will unlock all the power we could ever need to keep Konoha and anything else we want, safe. And the more blood we can get, the more material I have to work with, and with more material, there's more I can do."

'Ruko-chan thought about it for a moment and then a crafty smile slid across her face, "Ooh…I like that idea. Let me go get that book." She turned and rushed out.

Jiraiya stepped in after 'Ruko-chan rushed out. I could sense a question in his silence, "You don't approve of my ideas?" I asked without turning to him. It wasn't hard to guess what he was thinking if he'd heard me. Orochimaru had undoubtedly sounded like me once.

"That's dangerous stuff you're thinking about toying with," Jiraiya told me solemnly, "Not to mention the political backlash if the clans find out you're trying to replicate their abilities." And he was right of course, messing with DNA was dangerous. All kinds of things could go wrong from misbalancing a single allele, I couldn't imagine what might go wrong with the actual merging of DNA. Well, I could, but I had no intention of allowing failure to happen. Rats and guinea pigs existed for a reason, and it wasn't to chew holes in walls and eat the stuff in my pantry. Besides, nobody could say Orochimaru, Kabuto and Danzo were anything less than mind bogglingly successful in the area I was looking to explore. It was a politically delicate area though so…

"Then we bury the information deep, so deep even among the ANBU it's considered top secret, an ultimate ace in the hole when the need arises," I replied calmly, "And they'll only care if I manage to replicate their particular kekkai genkai. Elemental kekkai genkai I doubt anyone will care about with the exception of Wood Release, which as you know gained one hell of a rep thanks to the First Hokage. Imagine it though Jiraiya-sensei, being able to replicate elemental kekkai genkai at will, or even the Tsuchikage's Dust Release kekkai tota… Hell, if we can replicate the efficiency of my Typhoon Release we'll be virtually unstoppable! Can you imagine having your jutsu be a hundred times as powerful Jiraiya-sensei? Let me tell you, creating tornadoes with a single hand sign is a hell of a rush. Can you imagine what _your_ jutsu would look like?"

Jiraiya mulled that over quietly for a moment, "It would be an incredible asset, but you know you're playing with fire right?" "Of course Sensei, but how will our flames ever burn if we dare not strike the match?" I asked quietly, "The peace won't last forever, I want to make the next war short so that as few will die as possible. If I can make one man strong enough to do the work of a hundred, then that's ninety nine lives I've saved because they'll never have to see the battle field."

"If the other nations replicate your work though, then we'll be back to square one," Jiraiya said after a moment. I nodded as I pulled my pen and paper out, "Yes, but that's true of any arms race, and really the entirety of shinobi culture is nothing _but_ a massive endless arms race. Of course," I added with a small smile, "That's human nature period. Competition to soar ever higher, higher than anyone before us, so that our children may be born at the greatest heights we can achieve and then climb higher still. Will we ever reach a peak? Is there a peak to be reached? I don't know, but I know we aren't there yet. Why?" I smiled, "Because I'm not done climbing yet."

Jiraiya was quiet for a few moments and then 'Ruko-chan declared, "Okay, when I'm Hokage, you are _so_ writing my speeches. I got the book. Uncle Jiraiya, can you help us? Pretty please?" Jiraiya flinched and then 'Ruko-chan turned on the puppy dog eyes and Jiraiya's resistance crumbled like a sand castle in one of my twisters. Within fifteen minutes we were running over advanced fuinjutsu to replicate elemental kekkai genkai.

I'd already had an idea and we were rolling with it. Elemental kekkai genkai relied on simultaneous generation and merging of multiple types of chakra, such as water and earth for wood release, but only people who actually had the kekkai genkai could do that. So, it served to reason that all we needed a seal to do in order to replicate that was get the blood of someone with a different elemental affinity and have it absorb and transmute natural energy senjutsu style before infusing it into the chakra a shinobi was about to use for an elemental jutsu. The tricky bit was figuring out how to time it.

Naruko was the one who figured that out, we wouldn't be able to time it perfectly everytime, that would require a second use of chakra to trigger the seal on top of whatever jutsu we were using, and it would have to be directed into the chakra for the jutsu manually. The obvious answer was to cut out the middle man and just infuse the chakra directly into the chakra network before activating the jutsu. Jiraiya was a little bit leery of it, but we quickly made a seal that could do it, which led to another question: how to test it?

The answer we came up with was to create a seal which could turn any chakra poured into it into a particular jutsu. Jiraiya chose air bullets since that was a wind technique which all three of us could do, and with his fire element it should become something noticeably different. When the seal was ready we took it to the arena, which Jiraiya said was just like the one in the tower at the center of the Forest of Death. I aimed it, pumped wind chakra into it and within a split second of the first discharge, we were all immediately choking on a massive cloud of hot dust and smoke.

Thankfully the arena had a good ventilation system and with a little help from my wind abilities the air was clear in a matter of minutes although we were all covered in dust anyway. We blinked at each other for a minute and then our gazes went to the target dummy we'd been aiming at. We blinked and then grinned and started patting ourselves on the back.

The target dummy had been made of rubber, meant for taijutsu practice a lot more than ninjutsu. It had a molten hole clean through it and the whole thing was looking extra droopy from the heat. What was really impressive though was the brick wall behind it. That was covered in scorch marks and had a jagged smoldering crater in it from where it had apparently exploded from the impact.

"Well," I declared, "I do believe we can call that one a success! Kekkai genkai or not, that was one hell of an attack!" Then I spat out a wad of black dust and spittle, "Now let's go get a bath, I doubt having this stuff on us for long is healthy."

We headed back through the house to the front where our bedrooms were and as Jiraiya went to the guest room which was always either his or Kakashi's, Naruko and I headed to the room we shared. I pulled out some clothes to put on after the bath and just as I was getting sat down next to the bathroom door to wait, Naruko grabbed me by the hand and tugged me into the bathroom behind me, "Come on, help me wash my back!"

I almost fell from being pulled so quickly off balance and before I knew what was going on, 'Ruko-chan had pulled her nightgown over her head and tossed it at me. I pulled it out of my face and got a face full of her panties immediately. I closed my eyes and pulled them off as I laid on my back, "'Ruko-chan, we're too young for that. Have you read anything other than Jiraiya's books on it?"

I heard her snort, "Maybe." Her tone made it clear she hadn't. I sat up with my eyes still closed, "Alright, then I'll explain. There's this little thing called "Age of Consent". Meaning you have to be a certain age to do those things or you get in big trouble. In Konoha, it's fifteen. Now you know I don't give a damn about rules, and I know you don't either, but there's a far more important reason not to yet."

"And what's that?" she asked irritably. "It could hurt you very badly," I replied in the most serious tone I could muster, "If your body isn't ready, then you could bleed a lot more than you should the first time, even to the point that it's dangerous for your health, or even worse you might get hurt inside and never be able to have babies." I opened my eyes and looked straight into hers as I stood up, "And I would never risk you getting hurt like that." I stepped over to her and hugged her, "Because I want you to have babies 'Ruko-chan. I do want to be a daddy someday, and there's nobody I'd rather have for the mommy, so please, just wait until we're old enough okay?"

Then I stepped back a little and kissed her before giving her an intense look with a near feral grin, "Because as soon as we are, I am going to throw you in that bed in there, and we are not coming out of it for at least twenty four hours because I am going to spend at least six making you moan, squeak, purr and every other hot and bothered sound I can get out of you until we pass out for a good twelve and then do it again when we wake up. You good with that?" Naruko stared at me for a second and then a smile slid across her face as her nose started leaking blood, "Uh-huh…"

I kissed her quickly and then hugged her tight with a smile, "What a pervy girlfriend I have…" "Says my boyfriend who wears a mask to cover up his nosebleeds every time he sees a cute girl!" she teased. I shrugged with a grin, "We have a lot of cute friends." She hugged me, "Maybe we should invite them to join us after we've had a little alone time? Uncle Jiraiya's book says it's really fun." I had to step away from her and let the blood from my nose drain into the toilet. I had to pop a plasma pill afterwards to keep from fainting from the blood loss. Wonderful things those little plasma pills, dual action blood production kickstarter and clot inducer to counter blood loss and pain killers to boot. Naruko just laughed, "I'll take that as a yes."

She got into the tub and a moment later I recovered enough to say with a grin, "I vote Tenten first." There was a moment silence and then, "EEP!" _CLANG! "_ OWOOO!" I sat up and saw 'Ruko-chan clutching the back of her head and blood staining the wall in front of her. I stood up and offered her a plasma pill as I stuck a hand between her head and the porcelain tub, "Sorry, didn't realize your head was that close to the tub. I'm guessing you like that ide- _OW_." At the mere mention of it her nose had spurted blood hard enough to snap her head back again, crushing my hand between her head and the tub.

'Ruko-chan rubbed her nose, "Owww…Does it feel like this for you?" I nodded, "It's almost enough to kill a guy's perviness at first, but I've grown used to it. I keep looking for a jutsu that'll stop it from happening." "Go ask Uncle Jiraiya," she said, "He's a super pervert, surely he knows one." I nodded and rose, wondering why I hadn't thought of it myself, "That is an excellent idea."

Unfortunately, Jiraiya was still in the shower. I wound up going to a different bathroom that the House manifested on the spur of the moment. It was in that different bathroom which I had never seen before that I got the shock of a lifetime as I found one of the pictures on the counter. It was a man with brown hair and a goatee, a kid with spiky white hair, another with chalk white skin and long black hair, and a pretty little blonde girl. It's a good thing I was in the bathroom on the toilet already when I noticed it, because the shock proved quite a formidable laxative. _Orochimaru lived here…_

After I finished cleaning up, I walked out of the bathroom and strode down the hallway to one of the locked doors, "House, I need access to the lab." I turned the door knob and a burst of cool air washed over me as the door opened into a massive laboratory lined with advanced equipment and stacked near to the ceiling with notes, books, scrolls and schematics. Then my heart skipped a beat as I saw something _in_ one of the eight foot high test tubes down at the end. I went down the row and stared at it for a second before turning and bolting for the door.

I went to the guest room and opened the bathroom door a crack, "Jiraiya, you need to see this. NOW."

Five minutes later, Jiraiya was staring at it in shock, "What, what is this?" "Orochimaru was the previous inhabitant of the house," I said quietly, "I just found out when the house manifested his old bathroom with a picture of your team. This is his lab. I can only guess that she was his last experiment before his defection. The house will only respond to Leaf nin, so when he defected he lost the ability to come back in here. She's in stasis, but it looks like she's been growing."

Jiraiya gulped, "Tsunade's gonna freak…" I picked up the little clipboard leaned against the edge of the tube, and after scanning it I paled slightly, "She's not the only one. He unlocked her latent Wood Release." A shiver ran down my spine, "This girl isn't just a clone of Tsunade, she may well be _stronger_ than Tsunade. Forget Tsunade, the whole _world_ is gonna flip if this gets out." Then the clone's eyes flickered open. Jiraiya and I leapt back in shock and honestly a bit of fear. A feral Wood Release user with the raw strength of Tsunade Senju would be a terror indeed.

She just floated there though, looking at us. There wasn't any comprehension in her eyes, intelligence and confusion certainly, but she didn't understand what we were. Of course, we might well have been the first people she ever laid eyes on.

When it became clear she was alive and harmless (for now) Jiraiya and I started hunting a way to get her out. It took a lot of wrestling to keep Jiraiya from following his first impulse and blowing up the tube with a Rasengan, something which could have hurt her very badly. After a few minutes though Jiraiya found the open switch and I got covered in whatever that goop was and whacked with a beautiful naked blonde. The first made me irritated as I had just gotten clean, the second I had no complaints about as I helped her sit up.

The poor girl had no idea how to even use her body, she could barely even move on her own, and she had little to no idea what her limbs did. She couldn't talk, didn't make a sound even though she was clearly terribly startled. She was just as limp as a noodle, but I could tell she was no vegetable, the intelligence in her eyes made that very clear. She didn't know anything then, but she'd learn, I was sure of it.

I picked her up in a bridal carry, "Come on Jiraiya, we need to get whatever this goo is off her and get her dressed. Send a clone to get Lord Hokage, he needs to know about this." Jiraiya nodded and immediately popped one off which bolted for the door.

==One Week Later==

"WHERE IS IT?" Tsunade demanded as she burst into the Hokage's office. I had been there giving an update on the status of the girl I'd dubbed Tsubaki with Jiraiya. We hadn't let anyone else in on it yet, although I was agitating for a genjutsu specialist and/or a Yamanaka to help get Tsubaki caught up to where she should be mentally. Physically, she was in great shape as far as we could tell. There was none of the muscular underdevelopment I would've expected and for all intents and purposes she appeared to be in perfect physical health. She still didn't understand much of anything, but Naruko had been doing her very best to take the best care of her possible and she could tell we were trying to help her.

Now as Tsunade stormed up to a very frightened looking Old Man Third and Jiraiya, I un-flattened myself from the ceiling where I had sprung up to and clung with my chakra upon being so startled at her absurd volume, " _She_ , Lady Tsunade," I dropped to the floor, "Is at home with Naruko. We were just in the middle of reporting on her status, and I'm pleased to say that it's good. She's getting the hang of her body and even smiled at us today."

Tsunade glared at me, "And who the hell are you?" I gave her a level stare, "I am Koga Kurohyou, reincarnation of Tobirama Senju, current owner of the House, shinobi of Konoha and the one who found Tsubaki-chan." "Who the hell is Tsubaki?" Tsunade demanded. "Your daughter," I replied bluntly, "And no. I was rereading the data last night, she's not a simple enhanced clone. She's your biological daughter by Jiraiya here, created by Orochimaru from genetic material filched from the two of you." Jiraiya's hair stood on end and his eyes were the size of saucers as Tsunade grabbed me by the lapels and lifted me off the ground with one hand to yell in my face, " _WHAT?!_ "

"I believe you heard me perfectly well Tsunade-sama," I replied calmly as I resisted the urge to lick her on the nose for lolz and get her out of my face, "Now please put me down." "YOU LITTLE…" I think she was about to punch me just then but Old Man Third stopped her, "TSUNADE! THAT'S ENOUGH! **CALM. DOWN.** "

Tsunade shot him a death glare and then reluctantly put me down. I raised an eyebrow at her, "If you're going to be reasonable I'll take you to meet her. You're the best medic-nin in the world I hear, so you may find something we've missed, but as far as Jiraiya and I can tell she's in perfect physical health despite having lived the first seven years of her life in a stasis tube. She's just suffering from a complete lack of human interaction and freedom of movement. I think a genjutsu specialist or a Yamanaka's mind techniques could help get her up to speed so that she could live a normal life."

"Stasis. Tube?" Tsunade asked in a very dangerous voice. "Yes," I replied bluntly, "We found one of Orochimaru's labs and she was in a test tube in there. We got her out and now we're trying to take care of her as best we can. If we had found her a few years earlier, she'd probably be perfectly fine right now, but the lab she was in was in quite possibly the securest structure the world has ever seen. _Nobody_ could have found her until just recently. Now are you going to come meet your daughter or not?"

"Take me to her," Tsunade ordered in a quiet tight voice.

==Half an Hour Later==

Tsunade knelt over the Tsubaki's still form. Tsubaki looked up at her with what I'm certain was curiosity, the only people she'd ever seen before were me, Jiraiya, Naruko and Old Man Third. Tsunade had a look of concerned consternation on her face as she looked into the eyes and face so very similar to her own. Tsubaki's hair was a little bit lighter than Tsunade's, and her face was certainly more serene in appearance, but that was due to the whole not understanding facial expressions thing. Tsunade gently laid a glowing hand on Tsubaki's shoulder to run a primary diagnostic scan. She left it there to let the jutsu work and after a moment she sighed, "You poor child. You can't even understand me can you?"

Then Tsubaki nodded.


	8. Chapter 8: The Farewell Gift

Chapter 8 – The Farewell Gift

After a few minutes of losing our freaking minds, Tsubaki couldn't hold it anymore and started laughing which made, I really hope it wasn't just me, nearly faint from shock and sheer "does not compute"-itude.

When I finally recovered enough to process what was happening again, Tsubaki was hugging Tsunade and laughing. A piece of paper fluttered down from a ceiling vent and I quickly snatched it and started reading aloud,

" _Previous resident Orochimaru wanted to leave a farewell gift for his teammates as an apology for betraying those he cared for most. The result is the child current resident Koga named Tsubaki, a child grown from the reproductive material of Orochimaru's teammates Jiraiya and Tsunade. The seal used to maintain her healthy growth also left a preprogrammed jutsu in her that would allow her to gain the knowledge she needed for a normal life when she came into close proximity with both her parents by interacting with their chakra. Whichever parent's chakra interacts with her first will largely determine her personality by giving her that parent's memories. Interaction with the second parent's chakra can mitigate this and will result in a personality combining the best aspects of both parents'._ "

I looked at Jiraiya, "Jiraiya, give the girl some chakra so she'll be doubly awesome!" Jiraiya was too stunned to even think about what he was doing as he charged a hand with chakra and patted Tsubaki on the shoulder. Tsubaki shuddered slightly and then her face lit up and she yanked Jiraiya into a hug as well with a surprising amount of dexterity speed and strength for someone who'd been a vegetable until a few moments previously.

I watched for a moment and then kept reading,

" _This mental kickstart will also result in Tsubaki having a significant leg up on others her age because she will inherit a portion of her parents' memories and knowledge along with the basic understanding of language, societal interaction and body movement. Estimated inherited knowledge includes, skill at deception and seeing through it, skill at fuinjutsu, skill in armed and unarmed combat, and a natural grasp of hand signs and chakra control."_

I looked up at the happy new family and said to those who were paying attention, "So essentially it's like she was never in that tube and was raised her whole life as their genius daughter. She can merge into society without anyone ever knowing there was anything unusual about her at all other than her parentage and how strong she'll be." Then just in my mind I thought, _I gotta give it to Orochimaru, he really knows how to give good presents, and the house would warn me if there were any drawbacks or hidden barbs to this. It may have been the last benevolent thing Orochimaru did, but there's no doubt, this was a kindness to all three of them and a boon to Konoha like no other. Well…_ I looked over at 'Ruko-chan with a smile, _Almost no other._

Then my smile faded as I noticed the hurt look on 'Ruko-chan's face as she looked at the happy new family. I picked myself up and went over to wrap her in a hug and tell her quietly, "Hey, I saw that look. Don't ever think for even an instant she's going to replace you. Nobody could ever replace you." All the air went out of her and as her blue eyes snapped around and met mine I gave her the most honest and loving smile I could. I got one of 'Ruko-chan's bone crusher hugs and a warm fuzzy happy feeling.

That night she looked over at me just before we went to sleep, "It wasn't that I was worried she'd replace me, I just…why does she get to have her parents and not me?" She looked away in the direction of the guest rooms where they were sleeping, "She just got everything I wanted all at once." I squeezed her a little tighter, "Ouch. So I'm not on the list of things you want?" "That's not what I meant and you know it!" she snapped.

I kissed her on top of the head, "Yeah, I know 'Ruko-chan. I was trying to make you laugh. Not one of my better attempts sure, but…" I didn't really have anywhere I was going with that sentence so I let it drop and just held her for a moment while I tried to think of something comforting to say. After a moment, "For what it's worth 'Ruko-chan, you're as much and more than I could've ever asked for. I know I'm not as good as having your parents back, but I do everything I can to love you enough for both of them. Kakashi, Jiraiya, Old Man Third, Iruka, Izumi, they all care about you too, and I bet Tsunade and Shizune and Tsubaki will too. Don't write it off as not getting a family yet 'Ruko-chan."

I smiled, "You may have just gotten a new mom and two sisters! Your family is all around you if you're willing to let them be, you've got Grandpa Third, Uncle Jiraiya, Kakashi and Izumi see you as their little sister, Iruka's like a cool older cousin or big brother…do you really think for an instant Tsubaki won't see you as her sister? Tsunade'll see you as a daughter very quickly if you want her to, and that makes Shizune big sis. You've also got Tenten and Sakura, they're your friends aren't they?" I gave her a gentle kiss, "And don't ever think for an instant you don't have me."

'Ruko-chan smiled, made a little contented noise and soon after was sound asleep.

==One Week Later==

Tsubaki was the same age as me and Naruko, so she was put into our class at the Academy, and every day that week, Iruka tested her in her basic skills. He got summarily _owned_ in unarmed combat and needed Tsunade to piece his arm back together from where Tsubaki accidentally broke it when he tried to block her punch. He asked me to finish the test and I looked at him like he was out of his mind before shrugging and stepping into the ring.

Tsubaki looked rather embarrassed about having hurt Iruka, but she still set up with me without the slightest hesitation. I smiled as I settled into my stance, "Well, I guess since Iruka-sensei's already shown me what not to do, all that's left is to use that knowledge. Shall we begin?"

Iruka lifted his good hand from between us, "Ready? Fight!" Tsubaki didn't move, and neither did I. We stood there examining each other for what seemed like a long time. Eventually the observers started to grow agitated and finally Iruka yelled, "I SAID FIGHT!" Tsubaki immediately launched forward and shot a punch which would've launched me through the space where my head had been an instant earlier. Instead she got an elbow in the ribs and a trip to her feet as I slid out of the way.

As she stumbled over my extended foot, I sprang back and away silently thanking whoever had put me in the same class as Neji. She wasn't even in the same league of speed with Neji, and all the strength in the world wasn't going to do her a lick of good if she couldn't connect, and as it turned out, she couldn't. If there's one thing I'm good at, it's dodging. I may not have had a Sharingan, but you still needed to be lightning quick with both your feet and your hands to land a hit on me, and that was something that had only been reinforced by a year and a half of sparring with Neji, Izumi and on occasion Kakashi and Jiraiya.

Tsubaki did well though, she came a lot closer than most our age would've been able to ever hope to. Considering that the only other people I knew who could get that close and weren't Chunin or better were Izumi and Neji who both fought me probably a hundred times every Tuesday school was in session for a grand total that had to be well into the thousands by that point and knew every little quirk of my fighting style, I wasn't at all surprised when she got put in the same advanced class as me and Neji. Izumi didn't teach us every Tuesday anymore, she had graduated and now she only popped in for class about once a month due to having so many missions. Neji and I wound up being in our own group sparring each other almost exclusively after fighting everybody else once. The result was that we became very good friends and much more heated rivals as we were able to match each other strike for strike. Then Tsubaki joined our little group and we had another rival.

It was a very good thing that Tsunade decided to stay in Konoha and always had either herself or Shizune there on Taijutsu and bukijutsu days, because Neji and I damn sure needed some ace medical attention whenever we fought Tsubaki after she did land a hit. Just me and Neji and the others in our group, she never did manage to land a hit on Izumi. Thankfully she learned a lot of control by the end of the year and stopped making every strike a bone breaker, but I still think Neji and I hold the Academy record for most bones broken in one year, maybe the record period but I wasn't about to go bragging about it so there was no point in digging into it deeper. The upside is that pain barely even phases us anymore, and Tsunade did teach us a lot of medical jutsu so we wouldn't have to be her most frequent patients anymore.

Tsubaki didn't wind up living in the House with me and Naruko, which was honestly fine by me as it would've meant having Tsunade, Shizune and Jiraiya in house hampering my mischief. The four of them moved into Tsunade's old house, oh, I'm sorry, did I say house? Freakin' _palace_ , over in one of the prettiest parts of Konoha. It had once belonged to Hashirama, so of course it was all living wood bound by seals which upon a bit of studying I realized were very similar to the ones forming my house, which was how the rooms hadn't all grown shut and the living tree it actually was had never gotten termites, ants, mold, etc. Don't ask me how he made a tree that damn big. He was the First Hokage, that was just how he rolled.

Anyway, Tsubaki quickly became our very dear friend and we were frequently invited over to the Senju house for dinner. I don't know if Tsunade finally slept with Jiraiya once they moved in together or not, but I strongly suspected she had given that one night after dinner I found a lacey bra that was too big to be anyone but Tsunade's in the crack between the couch cushions and Tsunade and Jiraiya both turned utterly crimson with embarrassment. Given that Jiraiya actually _gave up peeping_ , I think the two of them having regular sex is the only logical conclusion.

We wound up being in the same class for weapons work, I was actually a little bit better than her in that regard, but she was far and away the best at the Academy as far as spiritual refinement and mental awareness went, so she was put into the graduating class for that and learning C-ranked jutsu from her parents within a year. My jutsu that I could use without my eyedropper seal were all B-rank Jonin techniques due to the raw power in them, but I couldn't deny that she was more skilled than me. Whenever it came up, I reminded myself of how she'd gotten that knowledge and skill and felt better about being so outdone, even if the reassurance did feel a little hollow.

Needless to say, I redoubled my efforts on all fronts. It didn't bother Naruko nearly as much, so she didn't join me in hunkering down for the most part. She preferred sleeping in to running at top speeds around Konoha every morning with a weighted flak jacket and leg weights and then beating the crap out of training dummies for the remaining half hour before classes started. She joined me for close quarters weapons practice with Tenten and on occasion Kakashi, as well as taijutsu practice with Izumi and Neji whenever they were available, but that was only two hours of every afternoon I could get a hold of them. I was the only one staying up past midnight a lot of nights working on my control, pushing myself to get those damn itty-bitty E-Rank jutsu down and testing out new fuinjutsu.

Of course, I reaped significant benefits from those things. I actually managed to fight almost evenly with Izumi by the end of the year just due to my sheer speed. Tenten and I were bumped up to the graduating class for close quarters weapons use the next year and regarded as the best in class. And by the end of the year, I could finally pull off standard substitution, clone and transformations without my seal.

Also, this was how I met Leelee. Yep. Lee's a girl. A wonderful adorkable bubbly girl who can still kick eleventy two and a half different kinds of ass, and yes, she did still get the bowl cut after graduation and joining Team Guy. I was beating the crap out of a training dummy in the Academy yard one morning and I had just punched it with enough force to launch it across the yard when I heard a startled "EEP!" I looked and saw a pretty little girl with short black hair in a light gray dress looking at me with a slightly frightened look in her eyes from next to my rather dead looking training dummy.

I blinked at her and then straightened up out of my stance, putting on my best friendly grin, "Morning! Sorry 'bout the dummy, didn't realize you were over there." I walked over, picked up the dummy, spun and slung it back across the yard to its post. I finished my spin with a grin and a hand extended to her, "Koga Kurohyou. May I ask your name?"

She stared at me for a second and then she tentatively shook my hand, "I'm Rock Leelee." I blinked and my jaw went slack as the name registered. Then I struck a thoughtful pose, "Hmm…Leelee, Leelee…Rock Leelee…that sounds like the name of a great taijutsu master in the making!" Leelee blinked at me, "A…taijutsu master?"

I nodded, "With a name as strong as "rock" it only makes sense that you must be physically strong! It's odd though, I don't think I've ever seen you in the upper taijutsu classes…" Leelee blushed and looked away, "I'm not." Her lip trembled, "I'm actually the dead last of my class in nearly everything…" I saw her eyes watering and laid a hand on her shoulder with a smile, "Well then, let's get you up to speed!" She looked at me in surprise and I gestured to the arena, "Come on, we've still got twenty minutes before classes start, let's get started."

"Getting started early?" Neji asked as he strode through the gate, "I'm game." He then realized who I was talking to and gave her a cold, dead-eyed blink of dismissal, "Oh, hello Leelee." Leelee went slightly pale, "Oh, hi Neji." "Oh," I exclaimed pretending not to notice the obvious frost between them, "you two are friends?"

"No." Neji replied bluntly, "She is in some of my classes, that is the extent of it." Leelee turned to go, "I should go…" I snapped out a hand and caught her shoulder, "Ah-ah." I grinned at Neji, "Leelee here says she needs help with taijutsu among other things and would like to train with us. Since I've heard that you can't truly master a thing until you teach it, I'm all for helping her out," I quirked an eyebrow at him, "You in?"

Neji thought about it for a moment, "Fate…" "Has chosen to place her in our path that all involved might be bettered for it," I finished earning a surprised look from Neji as I pulled Leelee into a one armed hug, "So wouldn't you say it's a meant to be sorta thing that we help her?" Neji frowned at me, "That's not what I was going to say at all." I grinned, "I know, but I've decided to interpret fate that way. You may interpret it however you wish, but I'm going to help Leelee here. You can, or not." Then my grin grew to a smirk, "Just don't complain when you're eating my dust because I took the time to train somebody and refine my techniques even farther."

I could almost see Neji's ass drawing up in fear at the thought of falling behind in our rivalry, "No, I will stay and help as well." By the time the rest of the class started arriving, Neji and I had found and pointed out half a dozen things wrong in Leelee's stance and guard. The next day, Leelee and Neji both started doing laps and extra training with me in the morning. Then a few days later they started joining me for weapons practice with Tenten, and before I knew it Tenten was running laps with us and joining us for early morning taijutsu practice.

Then Guy showed up and it went from just extra practice to ridiculously intense. Who knew he was a badass with most weapons too? Why did Guy show up? He passed us three times in one morning and on the fourth time he stopped to commend us. Leelee started talking and a week later as she and Guy hugged with a sunset in the background I looked at Neji and pointed at them, "See? Told you it was fate." Neji twitched at me and Tenten joined me in sniggering at him.

By the end of the year, mine and Neji's group of six had been brought back up to six for the next year. Yeah, you're doing the math right, with me, Neji, Tsubaki, Leelee and Tenten, there's one member I haven't introduced yet, and you'll meet her next chapter. Til then, tata!


	9. Chapter 9: Blood and Trust

Chapter 9 – Blood and Trust

==Two Weeks After Finding Tsubaki==

It was the dark of the moon on the sixth of June, I was in an armchair reading logs. What kind of logs? Mission logs. A great huge mess of them. Old Man Third would probably flip if he knew I had access to every mission log and file from the beginning of Konoha up through Orochimaru's defection, but that's why I made a point not to tell him. Orochimaru'd had the right idea keeping the House's existence quiet, if I hadn't had to let Hiruzen in on it to keep him from separating me and Naruko, I wouldn't have told him either, and even with him knowing about it, I certainly wasn't going to let him in on the full extent of what the house allowed me to find out.

As it had turned out when I found the lab, it wasn't just the residents of the house who contributed to its databases, it was everybody who came in _period_ , and since Old Man Third had come in, the house now had copies of every scrap of information he had ever looked at whether he remembered it or not. Of course, that also meant I had access to a copy of the Forbidden Scroll and I was currently using half a dozen Shadow Clones to scan through every mission log and report I could to try and find out the location of the Valley of Hell where the Chinoike had been exiled.

I didn't know if they were even real or not, but if they were, and could be recruited, then by golly I wanted to know about it! I was gearing up to throw down with the likes of Otogakure and the Akatsuki, I wasn't about to let a pack of potential allies go a slipping through my fingers! Especially ones of the Chinoike's caliber. If even a fraction of them could do what Chino was capable of in the epilogue story that introduced her, then they'd be incredible assets if we could retrieve and recruit them before they self-destructed. I'd been searching every night since the day after we found Tsubaki-chan for any sort of information I could get on them. It turns out that nearly all of the data on missions and jutsu were in the lab, probably Orochimaru keeping everything that interested him in one place.

Normally I'd have had a clone or two working on various jutsu, but now that I had a mountain of files, reports and assorted other data to go through, I was putting all resources I had except for my original body which as usual was curled up with Naruko being her pillow, a necessity to keep my chakra levels steady and the aforementioned resources up and running, into finding what I was hunting. I effectively didn't sleep anymore since through my clones I was processing new data at all hours, and as far as I was concerned, I was racing against a clock with no idea how much sand was left in the glass. For all I knew the Chinoike had already self destructed, but I was hoping that I might still be in time. I finally found it that night, the mission report detailing the suppression and exile of the Chinoike and the coordinates of the Valley of Hell. It was all I could do not to jump out of bed and run to get the report and take it straight to Hiruzen when my clone popped itself with delight to let me know we had finally found it.

When morning rolled around I took the file straight to Old Man Third along with all the data I had collected on the Ketsuryugan and my idea to try to recruit them. It took a fair amount of convincing, but he dispatched a team that day to go to the Valley of Hell and look into the Chinoike Clan.

Three weeks later the entire village was freaking out because Kakashi and, I think it was Yamato with him, walked up to the gate with a small army of good looking blonde people. All except for Old Man Third, Itachi and the rest of the Uchiha Clan. They all walked out and welcomed the Chinoike to Konoha before explaining to the village that we had just found record of their clan and sent a team to recruit them. The Uchiha made sure to be particularly welcoming and friendly, which I thought was very good since I knew the Uchiha had been the ones who had punted them into the Valley of Hell. I found out later that Itachi had run on ahead to give Old Man Third and the Uchiha the heads up, but he'd only gotten there that morning so there wasn't time to warn _all_ the clan heads, which I hear caused a bit of annoyance and mild bickering among them.

It took the Chinoike a week to get settled in and entered into the system, and that next week we had a new girl in our class. There were actually several new kids, but one in particular stood out especially given that she was the family genius. She was petite, pretty with long blonde hair and big sweet blue eyes to go with her innocent friendly smile and like wearing the color pink. She was immediately very popular since she possessed approximately the same playful air Naruko did and had the novelty of being a new student instead of the stigma of being a Jinchuriki.

I'm sure Chino was feeling the pressure though as she had been selected to do what I suppose was an exhibition match for the Ketsuryugan's abilities. Lots were drawn among those considered the big three at the time among the Academy Students to see who would fight her first, Neji, Tsubaki, and me. We were each going to fight her and each other one after the other going all out and even using our kekkai genkai to test the abilities of hers.

It was apparently a pretty big deal because they gave us the arena usually reserved for the Chunin Exams to fight in, and you wanna talk about drawing a crowd, I don't know if the Chunin Exams that year drew that many people. We found out when we got there that the Daimyo was in attendance to see the power of the Chinoike for himself. There were also three other categories for the exhibition match, Chino's cousin Senketsu was going to throw down with Izumi and her team to show the strength of the Chinoike's number one genin aged shinobi, his big sister Junketsu was representing their chunin, I didn't know any of the people she was fighting, and Chino's father En was representing their Jonin throwing down with Kakashi, Shikaku Nara and Hiashi Hyuga one after the other.

I think Chino was feeling the pressure the most though, she was the opening act. I patted her on the shoulder with a grin as Neji and I headed for the ring, "Relax Chino, it'll be fine. You're gonna do great." She looked at me in surprise as I turned and strode out behind Neji. It was really something to step out and have that many people cheering. Neji and I walked out to the center of the arena where Jiraiya was playing referee, "Alright boys, I want to see a good clean nasty knockdown drag out all out throw down! You've got five minutes and anything goes so cut loose and show em what you've got!"

I grinned as my hands folded into the halves of my Bird Sign, "You got it Sensei." Jiraiya rested a hand on my shoulder, "Maybe save _that_ for a finisher." I unfolded my fingers and settled into my stance across from Neji with a grin, "Spoilsport." Neji dropped into his stance with his grade-A serious face, "Byakugan!"

I channeled wind blades around my hands and forearms with a grin, "Kazeryuken!" Neji did good as he saw the deadly blades around my hands. He didn't flinch…much. "You've been holding back in our sparring." "So have you," I replied, "It keeps things less messy if we're not spilling blood all over the place." Jiraiya placed a hand between us and then raised it and sprang back, "FIGHT!"

No hesitation, not today. I sprang forward and launched a hand out towards Neji's guard in the same way I normally would to catch him for a shoulder throw. Neji would normally try to punch me in the face, and but now he sprang back to dodge my Kazeryuken. He almost didn't make it in time as our thousands of fights worth of practice had ingrained the movements of our usual fights to an almost reflexive level. My attempt at what would've been a very dangerous trap failed narrowly and I only missed tagging his hand with my "claws" by a hairs breadth. Neji frowned at me for a moment as he began to dance back away from me in a very good attempt to keep his distance from me as I had become extremely deadly in close quarters. Even a brush with my Kazeryuken would leave wounds as grievous as any kunai and he knew it. The question in my mind was what was he going to do about it?

I got my answer a few seconds later as his hands and forearms suddenly glowed blue and he went on the offensive. When I blocked, his new chakra gauntlets insured his hands and arms didn't get shredded and then the playing field was level again and we went right back into our regular routine. When I could see Jiraiya getting ready to call it a draw I sprang as far back as I could, "Sorry Neji, time for the big guns!" I folded my hands into my bird handsign, "TYPHOON RELEASE! WILD WIND DESTRUCTION!"

I held it for a moment and then I saw Neji using a fledgling version of the Eight Trigrams Revolving Heaven in the edge of my twister to keep himself from getting beat all to hell as my twister slung him around as fast as it could and let my tornado drop. I landed lightly on my toes and launched towards him on a shockwave from the bottom of my feet as he was letting his shield fall. We were just about to collide in what might've been a beautiful double knockout when Jiraiya called time at the top of his lungs and we pulled our punches each an inch from the others face. There was a moment of silence and then the crowd went nuts.

We stepped away from each other, me with a grin and him with his usual smirk. It was a draw as usual, but as our fights always were, it was an epic one, and since we were both going to fight Tsubaki and Chino both anyway, there was no need to win, so we were both content with what was an extra epic draw even for us.

After that came Tsubaki's fight with Chino. They walked out onto the field as we were walking off and I could tell they were nervous, but they were also putting on their game faces. We had just made it back up to the competitors box in a considerably less dignified sprint to see the match in its entirety when it started. Tsubaki went right for that wicked right hook she inherited from Tsunade. Chino didn't even flinch as she snapped a hand through Tsubaki's guard and sent her flying. I couldn't see Chino's Ketsuryugan, but I knew it was active as she moved her hands as though to restrain Tsubaki's right arm.

Tsubaki's arms bent and crossed behind her back and as the crowd watched in shock Chino's jutsu sent her to her knees as well. It took her almost a full minute to break free. Unfortunately, by the time she had broken loose from that initial contact, Chino was already on top of her and putting a kunai to her throat to signal that she'd won. Tsubaki blasted Chino off her back with an eruption of branches that silenced whatever crickets had been chirping and scratched and scraped Chino where the sun don't shine. The crowd went wild as Tsubaki pulled one of the branches off her back and changed it into a staff as she retracted the others, "Now then, where were we?"

"Wood Release huh?" Chino asked through gritted teeth as she set about healing her legs, "You should've started with that." Then she sighed, "Oh well." She suddenly pulled the spilled blood off the inside of her legs as she straightened up. It orbited around her in a ring and as she extended an open hand and made a hand sign, the blood orbiting her became a small shuriken hovering in front of her hand. She grabbed it and threw it. Tsubaki dodged it easily, and right about the time it drew level with her head, BOOM.

The blast was equal to an equally sized paper bomb (about a meter wide fireball), and it sent Tsubaki flying. Before she was able to recover, Chino was on top of her again, pulling quite a lot of blood from the wound on the side of her head and shoulder and fashioning it into a hat as she bent Tsubaki double again. Chino plopped the hat on Tsubaki's head and danced back out of the range of whatever Wood Release Tsubaki could muster, "Now I hope I don't have to tell you what that'll do! I believe that's my win since I could've detonated it by now if I wanted to kill you, and beyond that I can accelerate the bleeding from that wound as much as I want to make you bleed out in an instant, so hurry up and give before you pass out so I can put the blood back in!"

Tsubaki looked at her blearily for a minute and then, "Fine, you win," she panted. Chino looked to Jiraiya to confirm and as soon as he nodded she was running back to Tsubaki and laying her hands on Tsubaki's blood hat and head. "Back in and seal, back in and seal…" I couldn't hear her muttering but from all the times I heard her do it over the years when she was patching me up I'm certain she was. When she was done a minute later, it was as though Tsubaki had never been touched.

Chino rocked back on her heels and sat down with a relieved sigh. She smiled, "I'm glad that worked, you're really strong Tsubaki-san! Most people wouldn't have been able to break my control like that!" "Thanks," Tsubaki replied as she stood up, "I can't believe you beat me like that, and you patched me up really well too. It still hurts like hell, but that was incredible." Chino beamed with pride.

Up in the stands everybody was muttering, the daughter of the Sannin wielding the First Hokage's kekkai genkai had just been beaten? Granted Tsubaki wasn't nearly as strong as he was (yet) but still… In the Competitors' Box, Neji and I were staring with wide eyes. "We absolutely cannot allow her to draw any blood when she fights us," I declared. "Definitely," Neji agreed.

Then Tsubaki helped Chino to her feet, draped an arm across her shoulder and looked up at the stands as she pointed at the audience, "I don't hear any cheering! My friend is awesome, you should be happy about that!" There was an immediate wave of applause, no outright cheering like there had been for mine and Neji's fight, but everyone was clapping. I guess they were just too stunned.

Then Tsubaki made a grudgingly satisfied face before turning to the Competitors' Box with a grin, "Hey Neji! It's your turn! Come down here and get your butt whoopin!" Neji's face was quite interesting as I looked at him with a grin, "Your face is a _study_ in pricelessness." "Ohhh, _now_ she's gonna get it…" he declared quietly with a twitching brow. I sniggered as he turned and quickly stormed towards the stairs with steam absolutely _roiling_ off him.

Tsubaki was waiting for him when he got there, looking surprisingly pumped for someone who had just gotten so summarily _owned_. As Chino made it up I high fived her, "That was truly awesome and mildly intimidating." "Only mildly?" She asked with a teasing grin. "I was lying when I said I broke out the big guns for Neji," I replied with a grin, "I didn't want to hurt any of the specta-geez they're really going all out..."

Tsubaki had grown a massive writhing forest of vines and was trying to ensnare Neji as best she could, but Neji was proving himself a regular Tarzan and I swear to god I think I saw him do the vine-surfing thing at one point as he wove through her vines. When he finally got close enough she blasted him with that unbelievable right hook she inherited from Tsunade, only to have it effortlessly caught and turned into the start of Neji's shoulder flip before he hammered I don't know how many Jyuken strikes into her back. Then she turned out to be a Wood Clone and Neji only dodged the flying piledriver from hell that upended half the arena floor and sent him flying because of his Byakugan. If Tsubaki had connected with that, it would've splattered him all over the place.

Then Neji pulled a substitution with the remains of her wood clone and proceeded to have a lightning fast exchange of taijutsu that ended with Tsubaki having a supreme "Oh SHIT!" moment when Neji caught one of her punches with his bare hand. Neji grinned and then proceeded to unleash a no-holds-barred beatdown that really highlighted how very little actual _skill_ for taijutsu Tsubaki really had. It was all her monstrous strength, and now that Neji had shut down her chakra to her arms, and her strength with it, she was really getting her ass handed to her on a silver platter.

Then, just as Jiraiya was about to call time, Tsubaki caught Neji's hand, gave him a grade A death glare, and laid him out with the most vicious uppercut to the jaw I've ever seen her throw. It wasn't chakra supercharged like most her strikes, but she was _definitely_ pissed, and that was enough to highlight Neji's glass jaw beautifully. I thought it would've been a lot more impressive if she hadn't collapsed just after throwing it, but hey, it was still awesome.

The crowd loved it. Another epic draw. I mused on the fight to Chino as I watched Tsunade drag Tsubaki and Neji off the field by the feet, "You know, I don't think I've ever actually seen Tsubaki get angry before." "Neji-san was pummeling her pretty hard," Chino pointed out as we turned to head down. I nodded, "Neji's got whatcha might call a prickly temper and a massive ego. Telling him to come get his butt whoopin was a very bad thing for the person who was about to fight him to say. He doesn't get sloppy when he's angry, he gets dangerous. Normally he restrains himself, but when he's pissed? Ah-ah. He just hits harder and faster with a lot less mercy about where he's throwing those precision strikes into."

We strolled on to the field still chatting amicably and out to where Jiraiya was waiting. We turned to face each other and I smiled, "I hope you don't mind if I go all out. After watching your fight with Tsubaki, I don't think my Kazeryuken is a good idea." Chino raised an eyebrow at me as she activated her Ketsuryugan, "Oh so you're just going to break out a whirlwind until I give?" I smiled as I put a hand in my pocket, "Something like that. Ready Sensei?"

Jiraiya noticed where my hand was and his eyes bugged out. He raised a finger, "One moment." He turned and ran for the edge of the arena. Chino watched him in confusion and then her attention snapped back to me as Jiraiya yelled over his shoulder, "READY SET AND FIIIIIGHT!" I whipped out the exploding tag in my pocket folding it into the center of my Bird sign, "BOMB BLAST DANCE!" The following firestorm was almost white hot, so I only maintained it for a second. If Chino had been caught in it, then a second was all it would've taken to thoroughly incapacitate her. I jumped as high into the air as I could before I released the firestorm and was rewarded when I saw Chino erupt out of the ground spraying a jet of water at the spot where I'd been. Unfortunately for her, my tag wasn't spent yet.

I folded my hands into a different sign, "Scorch bullets!" The bombs of beyond boiling hot air were almost invisible. The only sign of where they were was the distortions they left in the air behind them. Chino threw up a water shield around herself just in time and it completely evaporated when my scorch bullets hit it. Chino bolted out of the burning hot steam with her skin already turning red and puffy. I landed and threw a punch in her direction, unleashing a shock wave that she narrowly managed to dodge. I leveled both fists at her and gathered chakra between them before allowing it to erupt, "CONCUSSION CANNON!"

The shock wave that rocketed forth plowed up the ground in front of it, and it was much too wide to dodge. Chino was forced to throw up another water wall instead and it only barely held. Then she pulled out a kunai, slit the palm of her hand and popped a blood pill. In seconds, she had a rapier made of hardened blood in her hand. I pulled another blasting tag out of my pocket, no way was I letting her bait me in to close quarters, "Nope, not falling for…" Then our eyes met and she nailed me with a genjutsu. I staggered for a second as my sense of balance went haywire and then it cleared. Then it felt like my right arm had a couple of razor blades racing down and back up it before continuing across my chest, and I could tell as the crowd gasped and my blood started going everywhere that it was _not_ a genjutsu.

Chino was on top of me a second later and pulling her chakra back out of me, trying to stop the blood gushing out of me as best she could and apologizing just as quick and fervently as she could. I couldn't hear her very well though, I was in the process of blacking out.

==Ten Hours Later==

It was a truly vicious and mildly monstrous killing intent that woke me up. When I am woken up by vicious and monstrous killing intents, especially when I feel tired, wired and generally like I haven't slept a wink, my first impulse is to raze the area and eviscerate everything unfortunate enough to be in my range. So I immediately flipped up onto my hands and started to spin, "PARTY TABLE TEMPEST KICK C- ** _OW!"_** I proceeded to fall off the hospital bed into the floor and howled in pain as it felt like my entire right arm, shoulder, and, well…everything in that vicinity was on fire and pulling apart. What had thrown me off was the feeling of something being ripped out of my arm when I went to spin. That horrible pain had alerted me to all the rest of the pain, and that was pretty much it until I cracked my head on the linoleum floor and then there was _that_ pain on top of all my other pain, along with that lovely ringing sound in my ears that I swear must be the origin of the term "getting your bell rung".

I was rewarded for my troubles though. I immediately had two extremely attractive blue eyed blondes worrying over me and trying to make sure I was alright. 'Ruko-chan and Chino, as I later found out, had barely left since the match. Chino had been waiting and sleeping in a chair outside the door, rationalizing it to herself as guarding the door rather than acknowledge that 'Ruko-chan was shooting her death glares that said "GET THE HELL OUT" every time she came in. 'Ruko-chan on the other hand had been in the chair right next to my bed holding my hand and unable to sleep a wink.

Tsunade and En came very quickly to check me over and after declaring that I was fine aside from some likely bruising on my head and the preexisting damage, they warned me to stay in the bed and not try blowing the hospital down again or Tsunade'd make what Chino did to me look like a paper cut. I paled slightly although I really had no idea what exactly Chino'd done to me. After Tsunade and En left, 'Ruko-chan and Chino still stayed put, with Chino nervously fidgeting in the corner.

I exhaled after a few moments of uncomfortable silence, "So, allow me to try to guess what's been going on for the last few hours. Chino, you attempted to use your Ketsuryugan's blood abilities by using the chakra you'd stuck in me for the genjutsu to cripple me, unaware that my Typhoon Release pumps my chakra way too fast for precision genjutsu? Right?" Chino looked surprised and then nodded, "Hai." "And the result was me getting mildly shredded?" I continued. Chino blushed and 'Ruko-chan growled ever so slightly. I squeezed 'Ruko-chan's hand and shot her a disapproving look which startled her into behaving.

"So after getting me off the field for medical attention as fast as possible, I would guess you, your father probably and Lady Tsunade patched me up and then brought me here? Right?" Chino nodded again. "And then you two have been here ever since keeping an eye on me, Chino-chan because you feel guilty and worried, and 'Ruko-chan because you love me and you're worried sick. Am I right?" They both nodded, "Right."

I turned a cool gaze on 'Ruko-chan, "And you've been glaring daggers at Chino the whole time haven't you?" 'Ruko-chan flinched slightly, "Um…maybe?" I blinked slowly at her, "So it was your killing intent that woke me up in a panic and made me rip my IV out, fall out of the bed and bonk my head just now?" 'Ruko-chan went very pale, "Um…"

I gave her a look that expressed how very unamused I was as I told her in a deadpan voice, "I am unamused." 'Ruko-chan flinched like I had slapped her and then I sighed, "Well nothing to be done about it now. I can still _feel_ my arm, and I'm certain that between Tsunade-sama, Chino-chan and her clan whatever that jutsu did can be fixed. So now there's only one thing to do."

'Ruko-chan and Chino both perked up their ears and paid the sharpest of attention and then I pointed at them both, 'Ruko-chan with my left and a finger barely wagging at Chino on my right, "You two need to kiss and make up." They both looked at me like I had told them the moon was going to be purple with pink polka-dots that night, turned green and grown antennae while doing a tapdance.

I smiled smugly, "Don't gimme that look. I can tell full well that you two have not been getting along, and it's totally because of me. I will not stand for it. You two must kiss and make up, and then I will kiss _both of you_ and make up, and then everything shall be completely fine as I grill you for information about the fights I was out cold for." Chino's face couldn't decide if it wanted to be pale or blush crimson as she stammered, "Y-you want me…to kiss…her?"

I nodded emphatically and replied with a perfectly straight face, "Definitely. You look like you feel terrible, and we've already established that it's totally our fault that you feel terrible, therefore we must give you mind blowing kisses to take your mind off it and make up for making you feel terrible at all." 'Ruko-chan looked like she wanted to protest but was having a hard time finding any sort of valid argument. Chino was looking like her mind was trying to recover from having had several circuits blown. Then I broke out into my best imitation of Jiraiya's lecherous grin, "Also you are both absolutely beautiful so kissing you and watching you kiss each other will make me feel fantastic!"

There was a moment of silence. Chino blinked. Then 'Ruko-chan gave me a punch in the jaw that Kushina would've been glowing with pride over and knocked me right back out. It was worth a try!

I came back to not much later, but I am an _excellent_ possum, so I was able to listen in as 'Ruko-chan and Chino talked.

"Is he always like that?" Chino asked with a voice that made her blush obvious. 'Ruko-chan must've nodded, "Yep, my boyfriend's a perv. He's _toootally_ wrapped around my finger," _am not! Ok maybe a little…_ I protested in my head, "but he's also not, if that makes sense." There was a pause and then 'Ruko-chan went on, "Yeah, I know, it's kind of a weird relationship. He got me out of a really bad situation a few years back and I've been living with him and using him for a teddy bear ever since. NOT LIKE THAT!" She protested before muttering, "Yet."

Chino squeaked in surprise and 'Ruko-chan sighed, "Yeah, stupid noble dumbass, I'd let him do anything he wanted with me, but he won't because we're not old enough to do those things without possibly hurting me. I'm actually a little more into girls though to be honest, so his suggestion of kissing you…" "Only ruled out because he was being a perv?" Chino asked.

"…Yeah," Ruko-chan admitted, "I would shove all those thoughts out of my head and never share him with anybody, but he's totally cool with it, I mean, you saw how much he liked the thought of _us_ kissing, and we don't even really know you at all…I was honestly thinking our friend Tenten would be more likely, or maybe Tsubaki-chan since we're around her all the time, is your nose bleeding?" "No!" Chino answered a little too quickly, "I just, um, have allergies. All this new pollen you know…"

There was a pause and then, "You want to try that kissing thing?" I managed to force the blood into the back of my throat and cough it up, feigning injury rather than let it be revealed that I was awake. This immediately earned both their concern and after I hacked the rest of the blood into a tissue, 'Ruko-chan smiled at me in a very unsettling way, "Koga-kun…"

I felt my ass draw up with nervousness, "Yes?" She leaned in really close and gave me a bone-chilling _You-so-busted_ smile, "Did you know that you toss and turn in your sleep like a fish out of water whenever I'm not using you for a teddy bear?" Cue the sweatdrop and oh shit face! "Eh…" She sat up and looked at Chino, "Chino-chan, do you want to help me punish him for eavesdropping or would you prefer to step outside?" Chino looked at her with a confused look that turned into an intrigued grin of mischief, "What did you have in mind?"

'Ruko-chan gave me a look that promised hell that I might or might not enjoy and then proceed to whisper in Chino's ear. Chino's expressions were very VERY unnerving as 'Ruko-chan's whispered message, or plans more likely, went on, and _on…_ A few minutes later I found a paralysis seal stuck to my hand and then a pillow thrown over my eyes. There was some sort of chakra pulse which I figured out after they started was a privacy seal, and I think I came very close to bleeding to death through my sinuses as they started…I don't know if they actually got naked and made out vocally or if they were just that good at faking it. Having known both of them for decades now, it really could've been either one, and with that pillow in my face, I _could not see a thing!_

When 'Ruko-chan lifted the pillow away grinning with that supremely smug smile usually reserved for cats, I was quickly awakened by a little squeak of indignation, which in reality was probably quite loud as 'Ruko-chan realized I had gone back to sleep and she hadn't realized it because of her own paralysis seal. I smiled at her as I recalled what was going on, "Good job." 'Ruko-chan was so taken aback by the compliment that she actually stopped mid rant, "Huh?"

My smile widened, "You and Chino-chan made up didn't you? That's what I wanted. If there was a little smoochy-smoochy going on, well, who's to say you can't be a little bit closer than "just friends"? I knew you wouldn't play nice while you were thinking about being angry at her, so I distracted you. Now you can and Chino-chan can be friends, which is good. We can always stand more friends, and being new, Chino-chan will need as many as she can get."

'Ruko-chan and Chino stared at me in silence for a few minutes and then 'Ruko-chan visibly started thinking. The more she thought, the redder she got. I leaned away what little I could, "That's not a happy face…"

"YOU SNEAKY SON OF A BITCH!" 'Ruko-chan exploded, "YOU PLANNED THIS WHOLE THING DIDN'T YOU?!" I blinked at her, "Your point?" Her jaw dropped and Chino was left looking back and forth between us in confusion and a bit of fear. It took a few minutes for 'Ruko-chan to recover her voice and then, whispered, "How? I mean, you're a genius, but even for you this is…" She couldn't find the words, so I smiled, "Would you believe I had a dream?"

'Ruko-chan just looked at me in utterly stunned disbelief, and finally Chino asked, "Um, I'm sorry, what did he plan? I feel totally out of the loop right now." "Everything," I clarified as I turned a level gaze on her, "I'm the one who got the Hokage to send the team to recruit your clan to Konoha Chino-chan, and I'm the one who poked the idea of an exhibition match into his head. I even precalculated the roster for our age group and had already guessed the results of the fights, as well as the exact tactics you would use to beat me, and how to counter them. I also figured out in advance that you would both be here until I woke up, that your father or someone else from your clan would be involved in the treatment, and that I'd be able to use this opportunity to start a friendship between you and 'Ruko-chan, which is why I didn't blindfold myself for our fight or simply blow you up right out of the gate."

Chino stared at me and then, "That's crazy…there's no way you could have known all that…" "Yes he could," 'Ruko-chan said quietly with her eyes shadowed, "Didn't you know? Koga-kun knows everything." "Including how upset you would be that I played you like a fiddle," I finished quietly as 'Ruko-chan started shaking and the tears started leaking. I was quiet for a second and then, "I also know that you'll forgive me, because we both know that I only did it," I reached out with my good arm and tugged her to me, "because I love you."

"I hate you," she sobbed into my chest, "I hate you! I love you! I hate you! I love you, you big stupid genius bastard!" She looked up at me with tear soaked eyes, "Why?! Why couldn't you just tell it to me straight that you wanted me and Chino to be friends?" I pulled her closer and wrapped her in a hug, "Because I had to play everybody 'Ruko-chan, I'm sorry I couldn't let you in on it. Some things I just have to play tight to my chest, but please believe me when I tell you that no matter how tight something is to my chest," I kissed her on top of the head, "You're always in my heart."

She reached across and smacked my bad arm, earning a grunt of pain from me, "You stupid jerk, why do you always have to know just what to say?!" She shook slightly, "You could be playing me like a fiddle with every word out of your mouth, and you're such a good liar that I'd never know! How can I trust you when I know you can play me like this?"

I was silent for several minutes and then, "'Ruko-chan, if all you're basing trust on is a person's inherent honesty, then you can't. You can't trust me, can't trust anyone in this village, can't trust anyone in this world. You have to have faith in those who you care for and know that anytime you choose to invest trust in somebody, there's a risk no matter how miniscule that that trust will be betrayed. You want to be a ninja? You have to acknowledge the possibility that you'll get hurt in ways a lot more personal than a mere stab wound or evisceration."

I squeezed her a little tighter, "You can choose to trust me, or not. Whether you do or not though, I'll always have your back, your front, both sides and everything in between. If you never believe another thing I say, believe this: I. LOVE. YOU. I have since we met, and I will 'til I'm dead. If you asked me to never even look at anyone else, I would cover my eyes and nobody would ever see them again except you. If you asked me to bring this whole world tumbling down, I'd make the apocalypse happen. If you asked me to die, I'd tear out this blood pumping organ in my chest and hand it to you, because it can't be my heart. You've got that in the palm of your hands."

She raised up and looked me in the eye with a slightly crazed and desperate look in hers, "Do it then. _Die._ " I raised my shredded arm and summoned my Kazeryuken, "Goodbye my love." I rammed my fingertips in between my rips and started ripping as 'Ruko-chan and Chino started screaming. I didn't get far, the pain knocked me out before I could finish, but I had made myself quite clear.

==Three Days Later==

'Ruko-chan was passed out on my chest with dark bags under her eyes. I allowed my tired gaze to rove about the room and spotted En Chinoike at the foot of the bed reading over my medical report. He raised an eyebrow, "So. You're awake." "Apparently," I rasped, "How long was I out?" "Three days," En replied, "After that stunt you pulled, I'm surprised you woke up at all. You'll be in that bed for a few weeks at least, and Tsunade-sama may well kill you. Wanna tell me what the hell happened?"

I looked at 'Ruko-chan and went to stroke her hair with a small smile until I realized my arms were tied down, which turned my smile to a small annoyed frown, "I told her if she wanted me to die I would. She wanted to test me. Apparently, I passed or she wouldn't be here still. I'm guessing Chino stilled my blood to keep me alive until you and Tsunade-sama could arrive?" En raised an eyebrow, "You planned that?" "It was just a guess, but I had faith in her, and I needed to restore 'Ruko-chan's in me."

"Why?" En asked. I smiled at her, "We were having a little fight, I suppose our first lovers' quarrel you could say. She figured out that she's wrapped around my finger just as hopelessly as I am hers, and that upset her. I just had to prove that I meant it when I said I was hers just as much as she was mine." "You would expect her to die for you at the drop of a hat?" En asked with a skeptical air of disapproval.

I shook my head, "No. And I would never ask her to, but that's the kind of person she is. She'd sacrifice herself in a heartbeat to save someone she loves, and she deserves nothing less than such absolute devotion from the lucky fool that managed to snag her heart. That's me, and I'll be damned if I'm ever letting her go."

"So you were willing to attempt ripping out your own heart to regain her trust," En said quietly as he set my medical report back on its hanger, "Chino told me about what you said. How you claimed to be the grand mastermind behind everything that's happened over the last month, that you knew how the fights would go before they ever happened. So let me ask you to prove it. You've been unconscious for three and a half days, and Chino says nobody told you about the outcomes before your quarrel with Naruko started, so tell me, how did the fights go?"

Fifteen minutes later, En was staring at me in shock, "That's…very impressive." "You stomped the Hyuga Clan Head like a bug in front of the Daimyo and the entire village and want to know how to soothe the Hyuga Clan's ruffled egos," I said bluntly. En started slightly, and then, "Yes." "Let me tell you a little story about a hero," I said with a small quiet smile, "If you catch the drift of my riptide, maybe one day you can be a hero too." En leaned forward, his Ketsuryugan shining with intrigue, "Tell me."


	10. Chapter 10: Weight

Chapter 10 – Weight

I was still awake when 'Ruko-chan woke up. En had only left an hour earlier and I had been lost in a fog of my own thoughts, drifting in and out of real consciousness. The sedatives probably weren't entirely out of my system I knew, otherwise I would've been concerned. I wanted very badly to nod back off, but I wasn't going to risk going to sleep and not being able to give 'Ruko-chan a reassuring smile when she woke up. The whole near suicide thing had probably scared her near senseless.

That being said, it was almost as much of a relief to me when she woke up as seeing me awake was to her. The relief on her face was extremely obvious as her eyes started watering, "Koga…" Then she buried her face in my good shoulder and started sobbing, " _YOU BIG IDIOT! What were you thinking?! I was so scared…_ " She was quiet except for the sobs for a moment and then, "I thought I had lost you…"

I exhaled through my nose, "All that talk about how scary a genius I am and you think I didn't have a plan? We're in a hospital run by the finest med-nin in the world and we had a girl who can control blood well enough to weaponize it at the foot of the bed. I knew I'd be fine."

'Ruko-chan shot me an _extremely_ dirty look through watery eyes, "I'm happy you're awake. _DON'T PUSH IT._ " I smiled gently, "Alright, alright. I admit, that was a little bit extreme of me. Now, would you like to know my reason?" 'Ruko-chan sat up and glared at me as she crossed her arms, "Sure. Dazzle me with your _brilliant_ reason for scaring me half to death and nearly getting yourself killed _twice in one day_."

I smirked, "Do you understand what it means to be Hokage?" Naruko blinked and then anger and confusion colored her features, "You did all that, _to teach me a lesson about being Hokage?!_ " I blinked at her as if that were perfectly obvious, "Yes." Her jaw dropped, "Unbelievable." She threw her hands up, "Unbelievable, you are unbelievable! Fine then! Tell me this oh so important lesson that you were willing to almost die to teach me!"

My smile faded slightly as I tried to push myself a little further upright, decided it was a really bad idea and settled for looking at the ceiling, "When you're Hokage, your words carry life and death with them Naruko. If you order someone dead, they will die. If you tell someone to go on a suicide mission, they'll go. If you order someone tortured or something stolen or anything at all, that's on you as much as the shinobi doing it on your orders. As Hokage, your words bear more weight than any other. A wrong word, an errant phrase, a misplaced gesture or a thoughtless comment, those things could start a war and get hundreds of thousands of people killed."

"When you become Hokage," I continued, "You will have to measure your words and actions carefully, because those words and actions will represent all of Konoha. You'll have the power to upend the peace of the world with a sentence 'Ruko-chan. You have to be careful what you say and do, and always be mindful of the consequences of your actions. So yes," I finished, "This was a lesson worth almost dying to teach you, but not simply to vividly illustrate the point that what a Hokage wants she gets. It was worth dying for Naruko…"

I turned my head to look her in the eye, "Because it's _your_ dream to be the best Hokage, and if I can help you achieve your dream by dying, then my life is a small price to pa…!" I was promptly cut off with a slap, quite a hard slap really. I'm certain it left a vivid red handprint.

" _DON'T YOU EVER_ _ **EVER**_ _TALK LIKE THAT AGAIN!"_ 'Ruko-chan yelled, " _I DON'T CARE IF I NEVER BECOME HOKAGE, IF I LOSE YOU IT'S NOT WORTH IT! SO DON'T YOU EVER DARE TRY TO DIE OR THINK YOUR DEATH WILL HELP ME! IT WOULD FUCKING DESTROY ME! GODDAMMIT KOGA I LOVE YOU AND DON'T WANT YOU TO EVER LEAVE ME! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MISERABLE I WAS BEFORE I MET YOU?! I'D DIE BEFORE I WENT BACK TO LIVING WITHOUT YOU! SO DON'T YOU EVER MAKE ME UNLESS YOU'RE WILLING TO DIG MY GRAVE RIGHT NEXT TO YOUR OWN!_ "

I stared at her in surprise as she breathed heavily with an angry tear stained face. I was so stunned that all I could do for a few minutes was stare and then I smiled gently, "What a coincidence, I feel the same way about you." I pulled with the hand she was holding and yanked her over into the bed with me, wincing as she landed on my still extremely tender chest, then I smiled and panted, "Immortality for two it is, I'll never let you die, and you won't let me either. So there's only one thing left to do…"

I kissed her as she looked up at me and when we came up for air, "I love you Naruko." She smiled and kissed me back, "and I love you right back Koga." After a few minutes of mind blowing kisses, she settled on my side using my shoulder for her pillow, "don't ever scare me like that again, Hokage's orders." I smiled, "Of course Milady." Within five minutes we were both snoring in sync. Had we been seven years older and above the age of consent…it still wouldn't have gone anywhere because half my body was in bloody shredded tatters! It did leave some cool scars though, and 'Ruko-chan started calling me Tiger because I had stripes, which I have to admit did give me a little bit of an ego boost.

==The Next Day==

I was woken up by my little toe making a very conspicuous _SNAP_ sound and a shriek of "LADY TSUNADE!" I couldn't shout in agony due to the condition of my chest, but my whole body tensed and I made what I'm sure were some _very_ interesting wheezy groaning noises of protest. "OW…" I moaned when my brain settled out of the panic of being awakened in intense pain.

Then I really wished I _had_ managed to rip my own heart out and die, because I had a feeling death would've been significantly more pleasant than what Tsunade's expression said she had in mind. "Don't worry Shizune," Tsunade declared with a vicious grin growing on her face, "I'll fix it when I'm done."

I was bracing myself for a very unpleasant ass-chewing of a lifetime when suddenly a killing intent that actually made Tsunade _take a step back_ erupted from right next to me and I became aware of a chakra extremely similar to the heat from a wildfire washing over me. 'Ruko-chan was awake, and judging by the fox shaped aura of bubbly red chakra around her, it was a safe bet to say that she was PISSED.

" ** _What EXACTLY do you think you're doing to my Koga-kun?_** " she snarled in a voice overlaid with a rumbling echo like the very voice of thunder itself, " ** _I have already chewed him up one side and back down the other for acting stupid. His punishment has been served and he will never ever do it again. So I reiterate, what EXACTLY do you think you're doing to my Koga-kun?_** "

Tsunade laid a hand that I know was glowing with chakra on my foot and a cool sensation that tasted like mint (weird I know, but medical jutsu feels like the taste of mint. I _hate_ mint…) washed over me as she tried to calm 'Ruko-chan down in a calm soothing voice like someone trying to calm down a spooked animal, "Now, now, Naruko, there's no need to get upset. I didn't realize you had already dealt with the situation. My apologies, I simply wished to impress upon him the foolishness of his actions."

" ** _It's been dealt with,_** " 'Ruko-chan declared in a voice like acrid thunder that would tolerate no arguments, not even from one of the Sannin. Tsunade cleared her throat and didn't meet 'Ruko-chan's glare, "Yes, well. His monitors all say he's doing well, and he should recover without any permanent handicaps. Provided of course he doesn't do anything else stupid, takes his medicine and does what I tell him to. I trust you can take care of ensuring that happens?"

" ** _Of course,_** " 'Ruko-chan replied. Tsunade nodded, "Very well. I guess I'll be moving on in my rounds then. He'll probably be in here for a while, so I would suggest making yourself comfortable, although," she added with a teasing grin as she turned to leave, "it looked like you already were."

When she was gone Shizune bowed slightly, "I am so sorry Koga-kun, I had no idea she was going to do that." I smiled thinly, "It's okay Shizune-onee-chan, I probably deserved it. Is there anything she was going to say that my 'Ruko-chan hasn't?"

"We'll probably be opening you up for visiting hours in a day or two now that you're awake," Shizune said with a small smile, "Your classmates are quite worried about you. We've had at least five people a day come by to ask if you've woken up yet, and I imagine Lord Hokage will be by to talk to you some time before then. He had expressed an interest in talking to you before anyone else did. I believe he wanted to debrief you after the exhibition match."

I nodded with a small smile, "Thank you Shizune-onee-chan. I'll try to stay awake long enough to speak with him if he's planning to arrive soon. Oh, and I'm taking these restraints off. They're not necessary. 'Ruko-chan, watch out."

Before Shizune could protest, 'Ruko-chan moved slightly and wind blades raced down my arms and shredded the leather straps holding my arms down. I reached up and hugged 'Ruko-chan as I gave her a kiss on the cheek, pointedly ignoring the still bubbling red chakra aura. It extinguished itself immediately once my arms were around her and was replaced with a pair of utterly adorable little fox ears on top of her head. I pointed out how cute they were and she blushed slightly as Shizune shook her head and left with a small smile.

==Two Hours Later==

I was eating when Old Man Third came in. He smiled when he saw me awake and apparently well aside from the bandages covering my otherwise bare chest and arm. I grinned sardonically, "Howdy boss. How's kicks?" Old Man Third exhaled, "All things considered, I should have your head examined Koga-kun. Are you feeling entirely mentally sound now?"

My grin twitched as 'Ruko-chan glowered, "I assure you Lord Hokage, I've been mentally sound this entire time. My odds of dying were extremely low." Old Man Third smiled slightly, "I suppose it should be unsurprising that you remind me so much of Tobirama-sensei. He was always doing things that seemed borderline suicidal and coming out just fine only to declare that he had it under control the whole time. That being said, he usually worried me and everyone else who knew of his antics half to death. So if you were thinking of making this sort of thing a habit, I must implore you not to."

I chuckled, "You got it boss. Besides, I think 'Ruko-chan would have my head if I ever pulled a stunt like that again." 'Ruko-chan nodded and Old Man Third looked over at her with a raised eyebrow. Then the other one went up as he noticed the fox ears which had yet to disperse, "Ah yes, the one thing Tobirama-sensei never had. Someone to come home to. On that note, I believe it's time I discuss something very important with both of you."

'Ruko-chan's fox ears perked up and I felt a slight sinking sensation in my gut as I figured out what he must've wanted to talk about. Old Man Third pulled up a chair and sat down before exhaling and reaching for the pipe he didn't have with him (it was a hospital after all). He looked at me, "I'm guessing that _you_ Koga have already long since figured it out. It seems like something you'd know." I raised an eyebrow, "Of course." "And have you told her?" he asked calmly.

"Nope. No point," I replied, "Doesn't affect my feelings at all. She's only just now maybe, MAYBE, ready to even begin to start _considering_ messing with it, and on top of that, weren't you planning to wait until she had at least a semblance of mastery of her own chakra first?" Old Man Third mulled that over for a moment, "That's true, but it does make this slightly more difficult."

'Ruko-chan had by now figured out that we were definitely talking about her and was glancing back and forth between us in confusion, "What?" "You want to tell her or should I?" I asked calmly.

Old Man Third sighed, "Perhaps you should. You know her better than I do." "She's not gonna be happy about it no matter who tells her," I replied dryly, "'Ruko-chan, do you recall what attacked the village the day you were born?" 'Ruko-chan stiffened and then she untensed slightly and then her eyes went wide and she got _very_ tense as her hands flew to the foxy little ears on her head. Her breathing became uneven and I immediately pulled myself upright to kneel in front of her on the bed, my eyes approximately level with hers, "'Ruko-chan, _calm. Down._ Eyes on me. Panicking will not help. Everything is going to be fine, so just calm down."

'Ruko-chan was still clearly freaking out, but I had managed to stop her from having an outright panic attack. I pulled her into a hug, "It's okay 'Ruko-chan, it's okay. Nothing's changed, you're still you, and I still love you just like I always have and always will. No silly fox demon is going to change that, you hear?" She gasped and then her breathing became uneven and oh god she was _trembling_ , "I'm…the Nine Tails?" I rested my chin on her shoulder and shook my head, "No. You are not the Nine Tails, you are its host. You remember the scrolls I got you to read on Jinchuriki? You're the fox's keeper, not the fox. So don't you ever go thinking you are okay? You're my 'Ruko-chan and that's that. Anyone tries to say otherwise, _point. Me. At them._ "

'Ruko-chan laughed slightly, "Y-yeah, you're right. There's, nothing to be upset about." There was a silence and then she said quietly, "Except that you lied to me." I stiffened and her grip on me tightened, "I knew it. They did hate me all along didn't they?"

I was quiet for a moment and then I answered quietly, "Some, but only the ones too stupid to bother with or care about. I'm sure there are many who really do suspect your identity and have been trying to help you hide. Right Lord Third?" Old Man Third affirmed my statement and 'Ruko-chan exhaled quietly. I took a breath, "I'm sorry my love, I should've been more up front with you about it, but I couldn't stand to see you hurting like that."

"Like I am now?" she asked quietly. I could only nod and then she asked, "So how do I know you're telling the truth now? I know some of the fox's chakra came out of me when I was upset earlier, nothing less would've made Aunty Tsunade back up like that, so why should I believe that you two aren't just lying to keep me calm?" I felt her grip tighten to an almost painful degree, "How do I know you haven't been playing me this whole time to keep me loyal to the village and docile?"

I must admit, the heat in my voice was entirely natural as I shoved her off me to look her in the eye, " _NARUKO UZUMAKI IF YOU SERIOUSLY THINK THAT LITTLE OF ME THEN_ _ **GET. OUT. NOW.**_ " The words were more effective than _any_ slap. She stared at me with eyes the size of dinner plates and all the thought shocked out of her.

I resisted the urge to shake her and shout in her face. I restrained myself, barely, "Do you think I exposed Danzo Shimura and pinned the Kyubi attack on him _for shits and giggles? Because it was the right thing to do?_ _ **HELL! NO!**_ Do you have any idea how valuable an ally he would have been for me? In all of Konoha, there were _two_ Wind Style masters who I could've learned from, and he was by far the stronger of the two! His secret black ops teams could've gotten me all the funding and resources I'd ever need! His backing on the Council would've made me nigh untouchable and given me a fast track straight into a Council seat of my own, _if not the Hat itself!_ I could've let him run unchecked in exchange for his support and had some of my most formidable rivals removed from the equation without even having to lift a finger! I threw away the resources, the power, _the hat on his head,"_ I jerked my thumb over my shoulder at Old Man Third, "For _one. Specific. REASON._ He. Would. Have hurt. YOU."

'Ruko-chan's jaw dropped as I seethed, "You ask have I been manipulating you and insinuating myself into your affections? _Absolutely!_ I try to get closer to you _every day_ because I can't stand the thought of losing you! You ask am I doing it for the sake of _the village? To keep you a loyal and docile shinobi of the Leaf?!_ _ **HELL NO! I thought I made it clear to you already that I would cheerfully burn this village to the ground in a heartbeat if you asked me! Don't you ever dare think I wouldn't!**_ "

" _Keep you a docile and loyal shinobi,_ " I snarled with enough venom to make a bijuu sick, "What sort of sick bastard do you think I am?! That's the sort of ABSOLUTE SHIT _Danzo_ would pull **AND THAT'S WHY I HATED HIS** guh!" I roared only to be cut off by searing pain in my chest. I bent slightly and laid a hand over the pain panting, "Hated his…hated his guts…hate all…the village…elders…they'd…obstruct you…at every turn. Danzo was…the worst…but those other two…they're on my list too…" The pain was making me dizzy as I felt something warm spreading across my bandages, "No one's, ever, ever gonna stop, you…not while I'm, around…You're…gonna be…Hokage…I…love you too much…to let you fail…Naruko…"

I don't know what happened after that because my fading consciousness went pretty quick after that.

==A Little While Later==

I woke up with Tsunade standing over me. Even as I realized where I was and that I should probably be worried, she rung my bell without even looking. "Aunty Tsunadeee!" I heard 'Ruko-chan whimper off to my left. Then a pair of soft but firm hands rested themselves on either side of my head before I could turn to look.

"Easy there Koga-kun…" Shizune crooned as the mint feeling spread through my skull, "You got way too worked up earlier and popped several of your stitches. Naruko's fine, and so are you." She massaged two spots on the top of my head with her thumbs, "Just relax, everything's going to be juuust fiiine."

"Any idea when he'll be ready for a debriefing?" I heard Old Man Third ask from what sounded like right next to 'Ruko-chan. "After he's discharged and not a damn minute sooner," Tsunade declared firmly, "You are _not_ getting him or any of my other patients this worked up again or I _will_ boot you out of my hospital _through the window_. Once he's discharged I don't care if you send him right back but until then you are not to exacerbate his condition in any way. _That goes for both of you. Understood?"_

"Yes ma'am," 'Ruko-chan and Old Man Third muttered in unison. "Good," Tsunade declared before turning a vicious glare right into my eyes, "And as for you, _you_ are to keep yourself calm at all times, do _not_ sit up, do _not_ move your arms, and if you even _think_ about shredding your restraints again so you can try to do those things, I will dislocate your shoulders without anesthetic, call in a Hyuga to seal your chakra points, and then keep you drugged to the gills until you are ready to be discharged. As fast as your chakra circulates I only need a tiny fraction of the anesthetics to sedate you, so I can put you into a coma without a problem and not exceed a single day's worth of a normal patient's dosage. Do I make myself clear?"

I smiled a faint little grin, "Crystal." Tsunade snorted, "Also, I am going to have someone supervise all your visitors to ensure that there's no more funny business."

I raised an eyebrow and then a thought occurred to me and I grinned as I extended my index finger and bent my middle finger so that the two formed a cross, "Shadow Clone Jutsu." A perfectly healthy me popped into existence and back flipped over Shizune onto the wall up by the ceiling and clung there grinning before declaring, "You got it Lady Tsunade! He'll stay put, but surely you wouldn't keep _me_ here that lon-?!" **POOF!** I paled slightly as a scalpel planted itself between the eyes of my clone and Tsunade glared a few more at me. "Understood," I squeaked, "No jutsu." _Thank god the House Ditto Squad and Plague Sentience are still up and running…_

Then Tsunade's brows furrowed and she ran her hands over my chest, up to my carotid artery and laid one on my forehead as the other moved to cover my heart. Her expression was inscrutable and then it turned stormy, "You made more than one didn't you?"

I gulped, "Technically that's an ongoing jutsu. It's been firing steadily for over a year." "What jutsu?" Tsunade demanded in a dangerous voice. I gulped again, "My extras at home that conduct all my research? They never fire jutsu except to replace themselves and relay what they've learned! They're strictly data collectors!" " _How many and how often do they respawn?"_ Tsunade demanded. I counted in my head, "Twelve at about once every four hours?" "Too much chakra usage, reduce it to one a day," Tsunade demanded.

I flapped my hands what little I could, "But I _can't!_ The clones can create more as needed, but the seal that keeps the jutsu functioning is set to maintain a standard twelve! I can't reduce it without accessing the seal and that's at home in the library!" Tsunade's gaze snapped up, "Naruko, go get that seal and do whatever has to be done in order to reduce that number to one clone a day or I will throw you out and not let you back in."

"But I don't know how!" 'Ruko-chan protested. "Go on 'Ruko-chan, the dittoes will adjust it when you let them know what's up," I told her quietly, "And would you bring me whatever they're working on that's not classified?" 'Ruko-chan wavered for a moment and then, "Okay." And out she went. Half an hour later, I felt the tiny drain on my chakra cut itself down to less than a tenth of what it was. Tsunade noticed it too, and appeared satisfied.

Then after making sure my jutsu really was dialed back, just as she was on her way out the door, she paused and looked over her shoulder, "Oh, and by the way, I don't know what that other jutsu is, but it had better be worth your recovery, because if it impacts your healing, I'm not fixing it." I feel pretty certain I went as pale as my bandages. Then she was an inch from my face with murder in her eyes as a terrifying killing intent filled the room, "And I _know_ whose research you have access to. If you're using one of Orochimaru's kinjutsu, then you are going to wish I hadn't saved you. I will _not_ let another Orochimaru happen in this village."

My heart didn't start beating again until almost a full minute after Tsunade was out the door and gone.

A few moments later Old Man Third asked, "You're not are you? Using one of Orochimaru's kinjutsu?" I cut my eyes over at him, "Of course not. It's an experimental sensory jutsu. I'm not a natural sensor, I had to come up with a jutsu for it. It's still in the final stages of development, but thus far it's far surpassed any other sensory technique I've ever heard of. I want to keep it to myself until I'm certain it's at a hundred percent if that's alright."

Old Man Third mulled it over for a moment and then, "I will trust you in this Koga, as I feel certain that if you were going to stab Konoha in the back you'd have done it long before now. However," he added with a killing intent every bit as intense as Tsunade's but frostier and somehow seeming even more dangerous, "I will warn you, that if you do betray us, then Tsunade will be the least of your worries."

I snorted, "Trust me Lord Third, if I wanted to betray Konoha, I would've taken Naruko out of here the day I met her. I could've reprogrammed the house to accept me no matter what and been gone before you ever knew I was here." I looked up at the ceiling, "I'm too invested in this village to just up and leave. I'm not leaving, and unless someone tries to get me or 'Ruko-chan first, no good Leaf nin has anything to fear from me. If they do though…" my chakra manifested in all its bone chilling purple glory, " _No one_ will be safe from me if they were involved."

Old Man Third countered by flaring his own chakra to such a degree that it nearly drowned my own flaring, "I understand that Koga, but do not forget your limits, and remember who your enemies are. Do not lose yourself in rage or you may become more a danger to her and your other friends than your enemies."

I dropped my chakra back to normal and snorted at him, "You don't have to worry about that Lord Hokage. I know who's who."

Old Man Third dropped his chakra back to normal and rose with a nod, "Very well. Drop by my office for your debriefing on the exhibition match with the Chinoike when you are discharged." "Aye sir," I replied tiredly. Then Shizune's hand connected sharply with the side of my head. I gave a quiet yelp of more annoyance than pain, "What was that for?"

"You're supposed to be resting!" Shizune scolded, "Not having a dick measuring competition with the Hokage!" There was a long stretch of silence and then I smiled, "Such language Shizune-onee-chan…" Her grip tightened to where it was almost painful, "Quiet," she muttered with a distinct blush in her voice. Then her fingers danced across my head neck and shoulders like I was a keyboard and I immediately became woozy and started drifting off to sleep as absolutely all stiffness and tension in my body suddenly dissipated and I became a puddle of putty in her hands. Tsunade's threats of extreme measures were completely unnecessary right then. After Shizune's little finger dance of sleepiness, I couldn't have mustered any chakra for a jutsu or much of anything else even if I wanted to.

"Please teach 'Ruko-chan how to do that…" I mumbled as I struggled to keep my eyes open. Then before I could pass out, "Neh, Shizune-onee-chan, you know you're super pretty right? I'm glad I got such a pretty nurse…" I think I might have muttered, "lucky me" before I finished passing out.


	11. Chapter 11: Visitors

Chapter 11 – Visitors

==Later==

I guess I slept for at least a day or two after Shizune zonked me with her sleepy fingers jutsu. To my surprise, it was not 'Ruko-chan waiting for me by the bed when I woke up, it was Jiraiya. He looked over at me expectantly and told me bluntly, "Koga, three things. Number one, get someone to gag you when you sleep. I put privacy seals around the room when I got here and found you blabbering. You've been sleep talking for over an hour."

I'm certain I went ghostly pale as he went on, "Number two, thanks for all the new material. You just wrote half the sex scenes in the next installment of Icha Icha." I'm certain I turned as pink as I had been pale and then his expression turned stormy, "And my fatherly instincts are encouraging me to pull the plug on your life support for thinking about my daughter that way, or go tell Tsunade and let her have you." Hello pale again!

"Um…" I _really_ didn't have a good explanation or anything at all to say to that. Then Jiraiya sighed, "Unfortunately, that would make me a complete hypocrite considering that I'd be thinking the same things if our positions were reversed." I exhaled a breath of relief, "Thank you Sensei."

"For what?" Jiraiya asked frostily, "I didn't say I was forgiving you." Aaand there's my blood turning back to ice water. Jiraiya sat forward and gave me a glare that made me feel about an inch high, "So, I have some questions, and you're going to answer them honestly. If you lie, the toad on your chest will tell me…" My head snapped as up as it could to look at the toad that I very much wanted to know when it had gotten there, "and then I'll go get Tsunade and leave you to her tender mercies."

I gulped, "What do you want to know?" "How old are you, _mentally?_ " Jiraiya asked in an exceedingly frosty voice. I went ghostly pale, _Oh_ _ **FUCK…**_ , "What exactly did I say?"

"I'm asking the questions," Jiraiya replied, "Now answer." I looked at the ceiling and started trying to calculate my actual mental age. It wasn't as simple as the age I'd been before waking up as Koga Kurohyou plus the time I'd been here, I had to factor in the amount of time my clones had accumulated as well. "Unless my calculations are off…" I mused, "assuming my Shadow Clones count towards my mental age, and they should, then I'm about a hundred and forty-six mentally, give or take a bit. I keep a few dozen going on average, and they have been operating 24/7 for over a year, fulfilling every avenue of exploration and curiosity I can find interest in. The time, experience and knowledge stack up _quick_ when you can abuse the Multi-Shadow Clone Jutsu like I do. If I continue at the current rate, by the time I'm twelve I will have over six centuries worth of experimentation, research and general knowledge under my belt, assuming my rate of acquisition doesn't increase. For the record, I expect it to _skyrocket_ soon."

I could see Jiraiya doing the math in his own head, and then he nodded with a tightlipped stare, "I see, and what exactly have you been researching in that time?" "Orochimaru would wet his pants in excitement for access to the knowledge in my head," I replied, "that he hasn't thought to use Shadow Clones to be his own assistants and lab team quite frankly embarrasses me on his behalf." I smiled, "You may need more than one life to master all the jutsu in the world, but if you can be in a hundred places having a hundred different thoughts at once? The learning curve becomes drastically steeper. I'm perhaps not quite as well versed in obscure jutsu as Lord Hokage, but my mastery of the five basic elements is easily Jonin if not Kage level, and thanks to the chakra element mixing seals you and Naruko helped me develop the day we found Tsubaki, I've even begun research into elemental kekkai genkai. You've seen my Scorch Release in action, and I'm also making good progress on my Ice Release. Oh, and I'm pretty damn good at fuinjutsu too. 'Ruko-chan could catch up and surpass me in no time if she wanted. With the amount of chakra she's got, she could produce armies of Shadow Clones that dwarf my resources to grow her knowledge base. I don't know why she hasn't, but in a way I'm glad. She shouldn't have to grow up so quickly, nobody should."

We lapsed into silence for a while and then Jiraiya said quietly, "You're more dangerous than Orochimaru ever was..." I turned my head and beamed at him, " _THANK YOU!_ " He looked up at me in confusion, so I pointed out to him that being considered more formidable than one of the legendary Sannin at the age of almost eight was an incredible compliment, especially coming _from_ one of said legendary Sannin. Jiraiya told me quietly that he hadn't meant it as one.

I stuck my tongue out at him, "So?" Jiraiya looked annoyed and then the cold fury came back and replaced the stunned expression he'd sported as he realized just how very dangerous I actually was, "So, next question, what are your intentions regarding Tsubaki?"

I raised an eyebrow at him, "Make her as happy as I possibly can, make wild, torrid love to her when she's of age to be doing things like that and if I can by any means get away with it marry her alongside 'Ruko-chan if I ever get the chance? 'Ruko-chan's totally on board with that plan, she'd be a lesbian if she wasn't in love with me, so she's all for adding more beautiful girls to the evening entertainment and our lives in general. She also thinks it might help her deal with having an army of me around. Shadow Clones mean I can be just as present and loving to a hundred women as one, so she's got no problems with sharing. If Tsubaki-chan wants no part of it, then I won't begrudge her that in the least and will still consider her my very dear friend. If she does then I'll happily love her just as much as 'Ruko-chan. Basically, as you so kindly pointed out, exactly what you'd do if our positions were reversed."

Steam was starting to boil off Jiraiya as he stood up, "This isn't over." Out he went.

==Twenty Minutes Later==

Shikamaru and Choji were my next visitors. Again, I was rather surprised. "Isn't today a school day?" I asked curiously. "Yeah," Shikamaru replied, "but it's a total drag without you there to drive Iruka-sensei up the wall, so we cut class." I mulled over that for a moment, "Hmm…you really shouldn't have done that. I'm delighted to see you both, but you don't need to be missing class." I thought for a second, then I grinned, "Want to learn a jutsu? It's a good ooone!"

Shikamaru and Choji both perked up, new jutsu were always interesting. "What kind of jutsu?" Choji asked curiously as he popped another chip into his mouth. I grinned, "It's called Earth Spear. It's one of my Earth Release techniques, it turns any part of your body harder than steel by channeling Earth Chakra through it. It's not easy, but it's _toootally_ worth it. If you can learn to do it then it'll give you both superb defense against anything except lightning based attacks and kick your offensive power in taijutsu through the roof. It's not Jyuuken or my Kazeryuken, but it's still incredibly formidable."

Shikamaru and Choji swapped a glance and then smiled, "Eh sure, why not?" It was then that I became aware of Shizune sitting in the room as she cleared her throat from the corner. I turned my head to look at her as Shikamaru and Choji leapt nearly out of their skins in surprise, "Oh come on! I'm just going to explain it to them! Strictly talking!"

Shizune mulled it over for a moment before nodding, "Go ahead, but I _will_ sedate you if you start trying to use any jutsu."

==Thirty Minutes Later==

As Shikamaru and Choji and Choji were going out, Kakashi came in. He bowed slightly, "Ah Shizune-chan, good to see you! And Koga-kun, finally awake. First thing's first, I must ask, what ever _did_ you say to have Jiraiya-sama so incensed?"

My mouth twitched slightly, "Ahhh…" "He blatantly declared his intentions to have a threesome with Naruko and Tsubaki one day, possibly eventually marry them both, and revealed that he's been abusing Multi-Shadow Clone jutsu to actually stack up as many years of life as all three of the Sannin put together in the space of the year or so since he learned that jutsu," Shizune declared bluntly. Kakashi looked at her in surprise as I looked at her in horror. Then Kakashi started laughing, "Oh I see, good one Shizune!" Then he turned back to me, "Seriously though, what did you…" his eyes widened as he saw my expression, "…oh kami seriously?"

I was tightlipped as I nodded slightly, utterly terrified of his reaction. Kakashi closed his eye, sat down next to the bed and thought about it for a moment. Then another moment, then quite a few moments, until finally he had managed to completely freak me out with nerves. It was bad enough that Jiraiya had forced me to be honest, apparently in front of Shizune too, but Kakashi too?! At this rate it seemed like the only people I really knew and respected in Konoha who hadn't heard about my secret thus far were Iruka, Itachi, Izumi and Guy-Sensei!

I gulped slightly and Kakashi's visible eye suddenly snapped open, zeroing in on me with the focus of a sniper training onto his target. It was an intense enough stare to nearly stop my heart. Seriously, I heard a _definite_ skip in the beeps from the monitors. Then Kakashi turned to Shizune, "I honestly can't think of anyone better to take care of them, can you?"

Shizune thought about it for a moment, "Mmm…now that you mention it, if he were half as devoted to Tsubaki as he is to Naruko, she'd be hard pressed to find a more loving guy. Also, he _is_ rather formidable given what he told Jiraiya-sama. How many elements did you say you had mastered again Koga?" "Six," I replied in a state of confusion, "Working on number seven full tilt, should have Jonin proficiency in a matter of weeks, would be days if I wasn't recovering. Planning to start number eight immediately upon completion of number seven."

"How old did you say you were again?" Kakashi asked. "Mentally? My clones total up to about a hundred and fifty years of research, experimentation and learning. I've read more books than I can count on…just about every subject I can think of, especially the ones relevant to my friends and potential love interests, which all overlap with 'Ruko-chan's since I need to be good at _everything_ if I'm going to give her perfect support when she's Hokage. Emotionally…eh…"

I had to think on that one, "…I'm probably in my mid to late teens as a result of about a decade's worth of meditation, soul searching and way too much time on my hands to think. I always keep at least one clone devoted to processing everything emotionally. It was a little weird at first processing all my emotions retroactively, but it's also really helped me keep my cool on a level I _never_ could have before."

I thought for a moment, "Physically I am of course approaching eight years old, although due to a few experiments with my chakra I've managed to accelerate my muscular development so that I'm much stronger and have an exceptionally efficient metabolism, and I had my Shadow Clones assist me in a bit of…" I immediately cut myself off, "Nothing. No, not forbidden just _private_."

There was a long awkward silence and then Kakashi asked if I had enhanced my body in a very _specific_ way and what I'm certain was an absolutely _neon_ blush answered for me. " _I DIDN'T ONLY DO THAT! I ENHANCED_ _ **ALL**_ _MY INTERNAL ORGANS! MY BODY'S AS CLOSE TO PERFECT AS I CAN MAKE IT!_ "

Kakashi nodded as Shizune giggled, "Ah, I see. So what all exactly _did_ you do?" I sighed, "Well aside from _that_ , will you _please_ quit laughing?!" Shizune tried hard to stifle her cackling as I continued, "I've also used seals to induce a certain enzyme into my cells." Shizune immediately stopped laughing, "What did you do?"

I cut my eyes at her, "My cells all have and _produce_ Telomerase Reverse Transcriptase in spades. I overrode the Hayflick Limit." Shizune thought about that for a second and then her jaw dropped.

I smiled, "And thanks to my ah, _unique_ resources, I have a fresh body waiting to begin growing at a moment's notice. Even in the event I am somehow killed, my brain is being scanned in its entirety every thirty seconds, and the corresponding seal in that tank will ensure that if my brain stops receiving oxygen and nutrients for whatever reason, my clone's brain will a perfect replica of mine. As long as my seals keep working, it'll have all my memories up to the moment of my death, and I'll be effectively reborn just as I was. There are a few stipulations to prevent the creation of an extra me by mistake, such as being flash frozen or otherwise preserved in a way that can be undone, and it'll take a week to activate the new body growing process, so if I'm revived quickly it won't activate. If not, then it won't matter after a week because there'll be a fresh me in a matter of days."

Kakashi looked over at Shizune, "I got the bit about him having a fresh body if anything happens to him, but what was that about some limit being overrode?" Shizune was still staring at me, "Tsunade-sama's Regenesis Rebrith is only limited by her chakra and the natural limit to how many times her cells can reproduce. The longer she uses it and the more damage she takes while using it, the more she shortens her natural lifespan, meaning theoretically she could still be killed if so much damage could be inflicted on her that she ran out of cell reproduction. The Hayflick Limit is the limit on how many times cells can reproduce, theoretically shutting it down could be the key to eternal youth, and it's _definitely_ the key to making to Tsunade-sama's Regenesis Rebirth technique into true immortality as long as she has chakra, and since you've worked with Jiraiya-sama...you…"

"Can use senjutsu seals to maintain it indefinitely?" Koga finished, "Not yet, but I'm working on it. When I finish, I'll be able to do what Orochimaru has spent years searching for a way to pull off and achieve immortality." Then I raised my voice, "By the way, Kabuto, tell Orochimaru I said thanks for the tanks! He'll know what you mean." Kakashi and Shizune's heads whipped around at the sound of feet rapidly retreating.

Then there was a small explosion from the hallway and Kakashi and Shizune both raced outside. A few minutes later Shizune came back looking at me with an extremely unamused face, "Alright, what did you do?" I wiggled my head in a noncommittal gesture, it was the closest Ii could get to a shrug, "Weeell…you remember that experimental sensory jutsu I mentioned to Lord Hokage? It doubles as an assassination jutsu with no extra chakra usage. I used it to blow Kabuto's head off since I didn't want him telling Orochimaru or Sasori of the Red Sand what I'm capable of. He was one of Danzo's Root-nin until he got appropriated by Orochimaru and Sasori and became a triple mole. Really nasty guy, should probably have killed him sooner."

"And I trust you have evidence to back that up?" Shizune asked skeptically. I raised an eyebrow with a small grin, "Yeah, but I need to use my chakra for a moment to get it." Shizune looked over her shoulder, poked her head out the door, looked both ways and then pulled her head back in before closing and locking the door, "Make it quick," she breathed with her eye pressed to the peep hole.

A moment and a poof of chakra smoke later a folder appeared on my chest. I smiled, "Tada!" Shizune turned and walked over to pick it up after opening the door back. She started flipping through it and getting gradually paler, "And you didn't report this sooner why?" "I needed to know who all he was working for," I replied, "If he had Orochimaru, Sasori and Danzo all thinking he was loyal to them, then how many more people might he have been working for? As for how I got all this, same jutsu I killed him with. It's really quite versatile. If you would please get that to Lord Hokage, I'd be quite grateful."

Shizune nodded, tight lipped, "Of course." She turned and hurried out. I looked up at the ceiling, _Let's see…Danzo, check. Kabuto, check. Itachi, check. Chino, check. Hidden Cloud, currently being checked…let's see…next big issue…I wonder if Pein's taken over Ame yet…I want a Konan-chan…_ A wicked grin spread across my face, _Plague Sentience, deploy to Ame, report when arrived. Target:_ _ **The Akatsuki.**_

==Three Hours Later==

After Shizune got back, Neji, Tenten, Leelee and Tsubaki were my next visitors, along with Guy-sensei. I learned that apparently Guy-sensei had decided to take all four of us on for extra taijutsu tutoring if we were up for it, and had actually extracted the future Team Guy as well as Tsubaki from usual taijutsu class and brought them to see me. Apparently Kakashi had told him I was open for visitors.

Tsubaki immediately wanted to know what I had done to Chino to piss her off badly enough to make her slice me up like that, so I explained to her the quirks of my kekkai genkai and the unfortunate interaction with Chino's. "I could have told her about the accelerated circulation in advance," I explained, "but then she wouldn't have tried a genjutsu on me, and that _was_ going to be my opening to win. I just didn't count on her being able to turn genjutsu chakra into shredding my butt chakra."

Tsubaki thought for a moment and then she grinned, "Nah, you totally invited her to have a threesome with you and Naruko didn't you?" I gave her a level stare, "You've already talked to both of them haven't you?" There was a round of face faults and Tenten exclaimed, "OH MY KAMI YOU ACTUALLY DID?!"

I looked at her levelly as Tsubaki busted a gut laughing, "This surprises you?" "Well _yeah!_ " Tenten exclaimed, "I mean, we're just _kids_ and you and Naruko just seem so _exclusive_ and…and that's just really not the kind of thing you just up and ask people!"

I let my expression droop a little, "So you don't want in on one a few years down the road when we can do that? Man, 'Ruko-chan's not gonna be happy…She was looking forward to that…" Tenten's jaw dropped and she flushed utterly crimson, "W-what?!"

I raised an eyebrow, "Oh come on, you're _cute_ , you're gonna be gorgeous, you're our friend, you're smart, you're skilled, you're sweet, what's not to like?" Tenten stammered and sputtered and tried to think of some appropriate response.

Tsubaki laid a hand on Tenten's shoulder, "L-lighten up Tenten!" she cackled, "Koga's been training with my dad! He's probably the, PA! HAHAHA! THE BIGGEST PERV IN KONOHA!" She had to sit down on the bed to keep from falling down she was laughing so hard, then she suddenly stopped laughing and leaned over to be right in my face with a mischievous grin worthy of 'Ruko-chan, "Except for me."

Then it was _my_ turn to flush crimson and have my brain break a little, "Y-you mean…" Tsubaki winked and stuck out her tongue, "Daddy told me everything, you dirty old perv," she added with a grin.

"And, you're, okay with that?" I asked, my brain slightly broken. Tsubaki sat up and shrugged, "Eh, I'm a little disappointed that you're not better than you are, but then there's another part of me wondering just exactly what all you've been holding back." She leaned in close again, "It kind of gets me in the mood for some extortion."

"Name your price," I replied with a raised eyebrow, _this oughta be interesting…_ "I want EVERYTHING you've got on Wood Release," Tsubaki declared before tapping my chest in a very no-nonsense manner she had undoubtedly learned from Lady Tsunade, "Along with any and all thoughts you have on it, and don't try to tell me you don't have anything. I've been to your house remember?" I smiled slightly, "Of course, get Naruko to take you by at your earliest convenience and my ditto will get it for you."

Tenten was the first to grasp what Tsubaki had just said, "Wait a minute! You mean you've got information on the First Hokage's kekkai genkai?! How?!" I blinked at her and then a smile spread across my face and I exclaimed in a slightly crazy voice, "I know **_EVERYTHING!_** "

There was a moment of silence and then Leelee flushed pink, "E- _everything?!_ " "Everything," I declared in my best deadpan voice, "And while I'm awesome at keeping secrets, I am terrible about playing matchmaker." Leelee's face warped into an expression of outright horror. I grinned and sing-songed, " _You've been waaaaa-arned!_ "

Leelee almost fainted in terror, her eyes out of focus as she saw some probably nightmare scene playing out in her head. Neji caught her because he was closest and my mischievous grin intensified tenfold. Neji blinked as he noticed that, frowned thoughtfully, turned his Byakugan on (turns out it actually kicks the analytical part of the brain into overdrive when it turns on, that's where all the insight comes from), and then almost dropped Leelee in surprise as he flushed utterly crimson in surprise. Tsubaki and Tenten got it before Guy. Tenten covered her mouth in surprise to cover her smile and Tsubaki made no such attempt, slapping the bed and pointing as she gasped in speechless excitement.

Guy didn't get it until Leelee snapped out of it, looked up, and realized where she was…in Neji's arms. She instantly blushed crimson again with steam roiling out her ears as she stammered, "N-neji-s-sen…pai? Ohh…" Then she fainted and Neji's blush intensified even more as Tsubaki howled with laughter. Tenten and Shizune started giggling, I started cackling along with Tsubaki, and Guy's jaw dropped as it finally clicked with him about two minutes later.

I wanted to double up clutching my gut, but I was strapped flat to the bed so I was stuck begging through my laughter and tears for pain relief from Shizune, " _It's so funny but so sweet! PYAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh my god…the pain! Shi…Shizune! Hehehelp! Hahaha…"_ I was wheezing for air and had black spots and flashing in my vision by the time Shizune pushed the knock me out button.

==Later==

The next time I woke up, I found an orange mask under a black hood with one eyehole revealing a very angry looking, very _familiar_ looking Mangekyo Sharingan about a foot from my face. Did I scream at the top of my lungs? Yes. Did I blast the most powerful shockwave I could muster immediately to obliterate my restraints and try to get that bastard away from me? Oh yeah. Did I pee my pants in abject terror? Wouldn't you?


	12. Chapter 12: Rest in Peace

Chapter 12 – Rest In Peace

As I leapt to my feet and looked around for my masked assailant, I found that they had already disappeared. I glanced around, paranoid as hell as Shizune looked at me in shock from where my shockwave had flipped her chair over with her in it, _Plague Sentience, did we tag him?_ The answer made me wish my bed hadn't collapsed from my shockwave. I staggered from shock far more than pain, "What?" Then my legs gave out and Shizune only narrowly caught me.

"Did you see her?" I asked in a quiet voice. "What?" Shizune asked in surprise. "It's a space time technique that outclasses the Flying Raijin in everything except activation speed," I explained, "And she has S-Class genjutsu thanks to that Sharingan of hers. There's no telling what she's capable of. Shizune, I am about to use my chakra to flush out what may be the most dangerous rogue in the history of Konoha. Don't stop me and whatever you do, _don't let anyone bring me out of it_. There's no telling what will happen if I'm interrupted. Send word to Lord Hokage, if I'm not successful in diffusing this quietly, then there's about to be one _hell_ of an incident, and yes, Tsunade-sama's gonna freak." Before Shizune could say anything, I allowed myself to go under sliding my consciousness out into the web of Plague Sentience.

==Elsewhere==

The room my mind went to was what I can only term the most disturbing thing I've ever seen. It was a shrine to the Fourth Hokage…a very, _very_ dedicated shrine. The woman in it was gushing with delight over seeing him again. It only took a few moments of listening to figure out what she was going on about: She had mistaken me for the wrong Hokage's reincarnation.

The walls were utterly covered with pictures of Minato, newspaper clippings about him, photos and even one scarily good painting. Two of his Flying Raijin kunai hung on either side of the painting which appeared to be the centerpiece of the shrine in the center of quite a few candles and a sculpture of a phallus which had been made with alarming detail. It wasn't hard to guess whose it was supposed to be, the picture of Minato and Kushina's wedding with Kushina's face cut out and replaced made it _very_ clear. The question was how in the hell she had gotten that kind of detail to replicate.

The most disturbing thing of all though, was who lived in the house.

Yes, I knew whose house it was. I had walked Tenten home many times. I had met this woman if only briefly. Her attitude towards Tenten was more master and maid than foster parent and child, but that's what they were. I knew that she was also the Hokage's secretary, leftover from Minato's reign. Now that I saw this, I grew a sick understanding of what had driven her to accept the post and a deep concern for Tenten's well-being if _this_ was who was raising her.

I spoke in Minato's voice using Transformation and the best memory I had of it from the anime, "So Miso-chan…what brought all this on?" Miso's head snapped up from where she had collapsed to her knees in front of the portrait shaking, "Minato-sensei?!"

That set alarm bells off in my head like mad, _Sensei?!_ I manifested a clone in the form of Minato behind her and wrapped my arms around her shoulders before purring in her ear, "What's with the mask Miso-chan?" I gently kissed the nape of her neck, "Don't hide, let me see you." Before I could properly process what she was doing, she was standing before me buck naked, the mask, very reminiscent of Kakashi's, in her hands behind her back as she grinned at me like a schoolgirl in love.

That smile was the most disturbing thing I've ever seen, because it was one I knew. Even with Obito's Sharingan in one eye, there was no mistaking her. The only thing that could compare, was the state of the body before me. It was no wonder she wore a cloak worthy of the Akatsuki all the time, she was covered in scars. The insides of her forearms were covered in thin white lines, which I quickly realized meant she had tried to slit her wrists repeatedly. I could see thin lines on her shoulders which I had a feeling led to horrible stripes down her back if the barbed whip in the corner was any indication. The others were much worse though, those were _kanji._

Words, horrible words that would forever more be berserk buttons for me if I heard them uttered about a woman in my presence. They were all so wrong, but she had carved them into herself…fat, ugly, failure, thief (that one had some truth to it), worthless, not good enough, monster… The worst of all though, was a starburst of chalk white on the side of her left breast which I knew without even looking was mirrored on her back. It was all I could do not to retch in horror as I saw how horribly she had hurt herself.

"Rin?" I whispered in horror, "What have you done to yourself?" That bright, childishly over-eager smile faltered as a look of horror filled her face at the thought of having displeased Minato. I quickly snapped forward and wrapped her in a hug, "Those words are all so wrong…" I whispered in her ear as I held her to me.

"What?" she asked in genuine confusion. I allowed my hands to trace over the scars, "This one should say beautiful…" fat, "voluptuous…", failure, "star…" worthless and not good enough, "student…" finally, "And what ever makes you think yourself a monster Rin?"

I heard her breath catch, "You…don't know?" I made a noise in the negative, "Everything's a little blurry. Care to fill me in?" That did it. The dam broke and out came the flood of tears. "It was all going so well!" She sobbed, "I got them to give me the Bijuu just like I planned, and if I could've only gotten to you, you could've fixed the seal, and then I could have mastered it and won the war and then you would've finally left that red haired bitch and loved me!"

 _Whoa-kay…that was unexpected…_

"But then those damn Mist nin found us and stupid Obito had gone and gotten himself killed so Kakashi was the only one there…and I was still too weak, so I couldn't help…and we were going to lose and they were going to use me as a bomb and I couldn't think of anything else except that I had to stop them and keep them from getting the bijuu back and I threw myself in front of Kakashi's attack… _but then I couldn't even DIE right because that stupid Bijuu healed me!"_

She took a moment to cry as I processed that and then she continued in a quiet voice, "When I woke up, it was already too late. The war was over and everyone thought I had died…and you were married to that red _bitch_ …so I ran. I ran and ran until I couldn't anymore…and then it hit me…" I felt her face twist into a psycho grin against my chest, "If I could just have your baby then you'd leave that red haired bitch and love me instead! But I wasn't skilled enough to fool you…not on my own, so I went and called in all those favors Obito owed me…and then I crept into Konoha and even though I had to disguise myself as her with Obito's Sharingan it was so _good_ and it WORKED and I was so pleased when I started showing…I thought we were finally going to be together…"

Then her voice turned dark, "And then, _right before I was due,_ THAT RED HAIRED BITCH GOT PREGNANT! MY PLAN WAS TOTALLY USELESS! And I had the baby and left her at the orphanage but then it hit me, "wait, if the red haired bitch is _dead_ then it won't _matter_ if she was pregnant, Minato-sensei will be so happy to see me…and if I have his daughter with me…so I went back to the orphanage and got her back…she doesn't know I'm her real mother…I was going to tell her when I revealed myself, but I had to get that red haired bitch out of the way and the best way to do that was to break the seal and let the Nine-Tails loose…I knew it would work, and you would drive it away and I'd be able to replace her because I'm a Jinchuriki too…"

She paused for a moment and then, "But then you died…and I was all alone. I couldn't go to Kakashi, he'd want to know where I'd been and I couldn't tell him…I couldn't tell anyone _because I'm the one who killed you! You weren't supposed to die sensei! Just her and maybe the brat!_ " She turned tear streaked eyes up to mine, "WHY DID YOU DIE SENSEI?! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO LEAVE ME?!"

Then she realized I had subtly transformed when she had revealed that she had intended to kill 'Ruko-chan. I glared Tobirama's glare at her, " _Wrong Hokage Rin._ " She backed away quickly looking terrified, "L-lord Second?! But, but I thought…" then her face twisted into apocalyptic fury, " ** _YOU TRICKED ME!_** "

"The Bijuu is the one who has tricked you Rin Nohara!" I declared sharply, "Those thoughts, this obsession, they're not yours! It's not you! It's not natural! The beast and the seal holding it have tampered with your memories to make you into the very bomb you tried to avoid becoming! Now CALM DOWN BEFORE YOU RELEASE THE MONSTER!"

Rin lowered her head and shook, "Maybe…" her head snapped up wide-eyed with a look of madness, "MAYBE I WANT TO! I'LL WIPE OUT ALL MY FAILURES IN ONE GO! LET'S GO ISO-" BOOM.

Just the way Kabuto hadn't had time to realize he was already in my sights, Rin was dead for real before she knew what had happened. I quickly knelt over the now headless corpse and started working a fuinjutsu as I summoned the necessary scrolls to my side. The key to a speedy extraction I had realized upon thinking about it (what can I say? A few dozen shadow clones at a time equals a lot of time on my hands!), was power. It was possible that I could have located, deciphered and broken the seal, but there was no guarantee that it wouldn't come unraveled and unleash the three-tails, so a brute force method similar to what the Akatsuki had used was my only recourse.

The extraction took thirty minutes thanks to the senjutsu seal I used. Even with my senjutsu seal providing 95% of the power, the other five percent was still enough to leave me dripping sweat with my heart hammering, my breathing ragged and my eyes and brain hurting from the strain. When it was done, the body started crumbling away to dust. I examined the second seal which a clone had put Obito's eye into and then looked at the now moldering corpse before exhaling a sigh, "Rest in peace Rin, and I hope that when you get to the other side you find Obito and the two of you screw each others brains out. Don't worry, I'll take care of Ten-chan."

I looked around at the just plain creepy scenery as I gathered the scrolls containing the Three Tails and Obito's Sharingan. After quickly checking to make sure Tenten wasn't home, I teleported all her things to the House and then I summoned and set a handful of thirty second blast tags before teleporting away. There was no need for anyone to know who "Miso" had really been. I would be telling Naruko and Tenten about their shared parent though. They both deserved to have a sibling, and it would help Tenten with the adjustment of moving in with me and 'Ruko-chan.

I sent the scrolls to the hospital where my real body was and then dissipated, allowing my mind to flow back through Plague Sentience to my real body…

As I returned to my body I was utterly _slammed_ with weariness. It was like I had been running for days on end and finally run out of steam. _Chakra exhaustion…_ I thought, _Never had this before…_ "Get scrolls…Hokage…Three Tails, in seal…" I managed to force out before I blacked out.

==Later==

I found out afterwards that I had been soundly unconscious for a week with my heart beat so faint and my breathing so shallow and infrequent that Tsunade had been seriously giving me only 50/50 odds of survival.

I was in a straitjacket and covered in shredded chakra suppressing seals. I had the barest twitch of a smile, Plague Sentience had kept itself running but activated an auto-senjutsu seal in the house connected back to me through my clones in order to help pull me back from the edge and keep from draining away what was left of my chakra and life.

"So, you're awake," I heard Old Man Third say. I was too tired to even turn my head, even though I'd slept for a week, I felt like I hadn't slept a wink. I exhaled in the affirmative, "heeah..."

"Your clone was surprisingly informative," he told me, "it came at once when you awoke and summoned those scrolls. I must say that I find it highly disturbing that such a thing could occur, but I am glad to finally have some closure on that horrible night." There was a stretch of silence, if my clone had come and explained everything, then there was no need for me to.

"Naruko and Tenten were quite stunned to learn that they are sisters," Hiruzen finally said, "I don't think they want to know how you learned that, but if they do then I'm sure you'll receive the memories of it when your clone pops. I understand it was planning to keep itself active until you awoke to handle "damage control" as it put it."

I smiled weakly. If Ditto 1 was on damage control and Plague Sentience hadn't been interrupted, which it apparently hadn't, then there was nothing to worry about. Then Ditto 1 allowed itself to pop and respawn and all its memories of the past week flooded my mind.

I smiled, Ditto 1 had handled everything beautifully. Then as I sorted through the information I found myself raising an eyebrow in surprise before closing one eye and focusing chakra to my left eye. Hiruzen immediately reached over and swatted me, "Stop that. Tsunade will kill you if she comes in and sees you experimenting, and you are in no shape to fight back right now."

I shot him a glare out the corner of my eye and went back to sorting through my clone's memories. Then my eyes widened, _It worked?!_ I opened my other eye and subconsciously shredded the restraints on my hands and chest to sit up and immediately remembered I was tired as my body refused to do what I wanted it to. I frowned, _Someone crank up that senjutsu seal!_

A rush of strength suddenly flooded my system. I sat bolt upright easily, instantly wired. Then I was instantly unconscious as Tsunade Body Flickered in front of me and punched me flat. I realized later that the slow motion she was moving in was my new Sharingan activating not Tsunade moving slow. I was unconcious for a few more days after that.

==One Week Later, Three Weeks After The Exhibition Match==

Chino-chan was in tears as they rushed En past on a stretcher. She came in and slapped the hell out of me before storming out without a word. I looked over at a very stunned looking Naruko, "It seems like that sort of thing is going to happen a lot in my life." "Any idea what that was about?" she asked. "Since En-san is on that stretcher out there and headed for the ER, I'd guess he succeeded," I replied, "Neji's going to be an extremely happy camper when he finds out."

'Ruko-chan gave me a _look_ , "What did you do?" "Well ya know how En-san curb-stomped the Hyuga Clan Head in front of the whole village during the exhibition match? Well that led to some bad feelings between the Hyuga and the Chinoike, so I told him about what happened to Neji's father. I had a hunch he'd go storm Kumo all by himself to bring the body back, and it looks like I was right. I'm sure he succeeded because he wouldn't have made it back if he hadn't. Now that he has, he'll almost certainly survive."

'Ruko-chan whacked me over the head with a pillow and called me a stupid scheming manipulative bastard, accentuating every word with a fresh whack. Then she stormed out to go check on Chino.

I wanted to cross my arms behind my head, but the straightjacket stopped me, so instead I crossed one leg over my knee as I pulled it up and looked up at the ceiling with my eyes…approximately fifty feet down the hall as I breathed, "Lord Hokage, this is Koga, I need to speak with you as soon as possible."

Hiruzen appeared next to my bed in a blast of smoke with a stormy and somewhat alarmed expression, "How did you do that?" "Hence what I need to talk to you about Lord Hokage," I replied nonchalantly, "What you just experienced is a jutsu which you already have and _use_ a weaker equivalent of on a regular basis. The difference is that mine is infinitely more diverse in application and as the mission debrief will prove beyond any shadow of a doubt, quite possibly the most dangerous technique that has ever existed… _including_ the Edo-Tensei and Flying Raijin. I think it fair to say I've outdone myself this time in a BIG way, such a big way in fact..." I finally looked over at him, "That I'm at quite a loss as to what to actually _do_ with it."

Hiruzen's eyes furrowed in confusion, "Explain." "The crystal ball jutsu you use relies on planting markers much the same way the Flying Raijin works except much simpler, and the markers can be inherited from user to user so long as the same crystal ball is used, meaning its range is limited only by where the markers are. However, what I have done goes considerably beyond that. That voice you heard in your ear was a near microscopic shadow clone, by my calculations I can maintain a few million of them at a time with a tiny fraction of my chakra provided all they do is observe, and each and every one of them is capable of producing more, letting them spread like a virus, _a virus capable of using any jutsu I can while being virtually undetectable even to doujutsu as sharp as the Byakugan and Ketsuryugan_. Hence the name of the most dangerous power to ever exist in this world, _Plague Sentience._ "

As Hiruzen's eyes widened I smiled thinly, "I see you grasp the implications. I can deploy an invisible army at any time, and I have already seeded every inch of what's left of Kumogakure thanks to En Chinoike's efforts on this most recent mission. My clones are already busily documenting _every scrap_ of information there is to know about Kumogakure, and they are continuing to do so at a phenomenal rate. By the end of the month, everything that has ever been known in Kumogakure, will be known _by me,_ and as I demonstrated on En's mission, I can kill and harvest the bodies and knowledge of everyone there _instantly_."

"However," I sighed, "As you can imagine, this presents a bit of a moral dilemma, and being as you are the Hokage, I feel it's a question best put to you." I looked him dead in the eye, "Even from here on what could easily have been my death bed, I have the power to upend, take over or destroy the world at my fingertips, to achieve any goal that could possibly come to mind. How should I use it now that I have for all intents and purposes matched if not outright _stolen_ your title as a god of shinobi?" I feel certain as I took in the awestruck look on his face that the weight of the world I had just scooped up in the palm of my hand was showing in my eyes as I turned my stare back to the ceiling and muttered, "Everything I could ever want is right there for me to reach out and _take_ ," I reached a hand out towards it, "but it would be so easy that I find it's lost all value to me…"

I turned my head over to Old Man Third, "Lord Hokage I mean no disrespect when I say that my power utterly _dwarfs yours_ right now, but you're the only one I know with power even _remotely_ comparable to mine right now, so I must ask you, _what the hell do I do now?_ " I looked back at the ceiling, "I could exterminate every living thing in this world that could ever pose a threat to Konoha in a matter of _days_ at most, I could establish the ultimate surveillance so that no whisper would ever escape us again, I could render the very concept of shinobi _obsolete_ with this power…The peace all you old timers are so desperate to make happen, it's within my grasp…I could even replace all the lives I take thanks to Orochimaru's cloning tech…I could remake them all however I want…the whole world is literally my play thing now…how…"

I choked slightly, " _How do you deal with this kind of power?! All victories are assured! Losing is no longer even a possibility! Where's the value in anything I do if I can learn, win, understand anything and everything damn near instantly?!"_

Hiruzen was silent for a long time and then he rummaged under his robes for something. I watched and then he started talking, "I am afraid that is a question you must answer for yourself young Koga. However, I do have a piece of advice. Effective gods though we may be Koga, we are still _men_ are we not?" My eyes widened as I got where he was going, _No way…_ He fished out a copy of Icha-Icha and handed it to me, "I find a good book helps, and you are still young so I am sure you can get plenty of ideas from a good book."

I accepted the book in numb shock that resulted in silence that lasted for almost a minute and then, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! KYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HOOOOOOLYYYY SHIHIHIHIT! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OH! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! THAHAHAHANK YOO-OOO-OOOU! KAHAHAHAHAHA!"

I have no idea how long I laughed, but I know that my ribs ached for a good five minutes after I finished bursting at the seams with laughter.

 **THE END?**

 ** _AN:_** _Heeey everybody, yeah, you read that right. I could end this story here. Koga's creation of Plague Sentience is the thing that utterly breaks the invincibility threshold. Now that he has it, he's virtually omniscient about everything his "plague" touches, and he can kill anyone instantly by using assassination techniques inside their bodies where they have ZERO chance of defending against them._

 _Even if Kaguya Madara and Ten-Tails Tobito were to all come at him at once, he snaps his fingers and BOOM, they all drop like flies as Plague Sentience unleashes a volley of lethal techniques directly on their internal organs._

 _That being said, there is still a lot to cover in his and Naruko's rise to power, but it all basically boils down to Koga and eventually Naruko and their friends curb stomping the hell out of whoever gets in their way, and Koga taking Hiruzens advice and getting a harem because there's too many and too much of him for any one person to keep up with, let alone keep sane._

 _However, I am torn on whether or not to write it anyway since I think it would still be a pretty interesting read._

 _So I'll leave it up to you the readers. I'm posting a poll on my profile page on whether or not I should continue from here. I'll leave it up until Easter (which this year falls on April 1_ _st_ _, aka April Fools Day. Who all is going to be on the lookout for prank laden Easter eggs?) and when I have a good number of responses yay or nay, I'll write either an epilogue or Chapter 13._

 _If you're not into polls, a comment yay or nay will suffice, and if you have any thoughts on this chapter or Plague Sentience, please share._


	13. Chapter 13 Preview and News Update

_Ok, the votes are in! With a 10 to 1 majority this story will continue! I've been pretty busy here lately so I don't have the next chapter ready just yet, but I do have enough for a preview! There'll be some more news and such after the preview if you wish to look. Mostly this update is just to let you all know the results of the poll and that the next chapter is coming._

 _As is, please enjoy this little preview of..._

 **Chapter 13: The Mask of the Red Death**

==Two Weeks Earlier==

Kumogakure was absolutely silent as En Chinoike crept in. He would've been wary, expecting a trap, but with the streets littered with bodies, he was having a hard time believing that Kumo was in any shape to be mounting much of anything, let alone an ambush for an S-Rank shinobi. He crept over to one of the bodies to examine it more closely and saw that it appeared to have had its internal organs _removed._ There was nothing left but a husk of skin, bone and muscle with just enough of the bloody face left to be recognizable.

"What the hell kind of jutsu did this?" En wondered aloud as he looked around and saw the rest of the bodies to be in the same state. Then he nearly jumped from his skin as a voice spoke from behind him, "It wasn't a jutsu."

En spun and saw the boy that had fought Chino sitting on a pile of bodies, apparently hale and hearty despite the fact that he was supposed to be immobilized in a hospital bed back in Konoha. His brows furrowed and he opened his mouth to ask how the boy was there.

"Shadow clone," Koga declared simply without waiting for the question to be asked, "As for what did this, I can't really say. It wore a red cloak and hood, carried a scythe and wore a mask like a carrion bird. It moved around in thick red smoke and whatever the smoke touched was burned as though the smoke was acidic. Some kind of gas weapon I suppose. Anything the thing itself touched dropped dead with blood fountaining out of every orifice. The Raikage tried to fight it along with so many others."

He looked down the street with a grim expression, "He actually succeeded in making it go poof into a blast of that red smoke. Then all these corpses? They got up out of the smoke wearing masks like the one it did. They fought like Sunagakure's puppets, with no regard for their own health and apparently no limit to their strength and speed. When the Raikage found the monster again, he actually managed to get its mask off."

Koga's fingers tightened on his sleeve, "There was nothing under there but a blood stained skull."

He let that sink in and then continued, "The Raikage was so surprised that the thing was finally able to catch him. It reached right through his lightning armor and choked him before he just, went limp. Then it dropped him into the red smoke and he got up a few minutes later wearing a mask. The rest of the Kumo nin tried to run then, but the smoke and meat puppets circled them in and trapped them. Those things didn't get tired, Kumo did." He paused, "It was a slaughter."

En stared in horror, "Aaand the monster?" Koga shook his head, "gone, along with all the smoke and masks. It didn't take anything from them except their lives. I guess it was just here for the purpose of killing them. Why or to what end, I don't know. If I hadn't had a clone here in disguise as a bird to see the whole thing, I wouldn't have brought you here."

Then he turned a smile on En, "As is though, follow me! I found Hizashi's body days ago, I only waited to bring it back because I thought it would be better for you to do it!" He hopped off the pile of bodies and strode down the corpse littered street without a care in the world. En stared after him for a moment before following him, _What is wrong with this kid?_

 **End Preview**

 _In other news,_ _I regret to announce that three of my other popular stories are going on a hiatus._ _ **Jiraiya-Sensei, Vermillion Thunder**_ _and_ _ **Konoha Blast**_ _are all going on a bit of a hiatus._

 _However, before anyone panics, I wish to reassure you, that this is_ _ **NOT**_ _the last you'll be seeing of them. They are part of a 7 story crossover event between nearly all of my Naruto stories, and as they are the ones most reliant upon this crossover, they cannot proceed until a bit more is done on it._

 _The other four in this massive crossover are_ _ **The Kinjutsu 3, Shooting Straight, Four Gates to Chaos,**_ _and_ _ **Brilliant Minds and Black Hearts.**_ _Yes, THIS story is part of the crossover and very crucial to the continuation of one of the three going on hiatus. These four will be continuing at my usual update lack-of-schedule._

 _Stories not affected by this massive crossover are:_

 _ **Fallen Leaves**_ _where I take a look at a near worst case scenario for Konoha where at the end of the 3rd Shinobi World War, Stone and Cloud launch a surprise attack with all four of their Jinchuriki and wipe Konoha off the map. Fast forward twelve years and the handful of survivors are wondering whether or not Konoha can make a return to greatness. Naruto's opinion? Of course dattebayo!_

 ** _Welcome to the Wild Wild_** **** ** _West:_** _Just me having fun filling in the gap I noticed a while back. I don't believe I've ever seen a Naruto Western, so I'm drawing from several of my favorites to create a fun, off the wall, Naruto Western. I do take it seriously, but it's meant to be more fun than anything, so don't think about it TOO much and enjoy. This is from the turn your brain off at the end of a long day edition of my writing._

 _On a different front, I also have another poll going up soon. This one I'll leave open until around June 1st I think._

 _There are three stories I'm debating on starting, and here are some brief descriptions._

1) **_The Cheat Tank_** : Despite not being much of a gamer myself, the idea of "The Gamer" intrigues me. So this one will be a gamer fic starring my OC, the titular Tank, and the extraordinary power of the Cheats Menu. I think the system will be fun to design and the story fun all around, I've already designed the stats system for this story, and I have all 60+ stats for the majority of the major characters introduced in canon's Part 1.

2) **_As Yet Unnamed One Piece Fic_** : For those who didn't know, I am a HUGE fan of One Piece. However, One Piece is very difficult for me to write fanfic for because there's really not much I want to _change_. It's all amazing as is and I can only stew in envy and admiration of Oda's incredible skills as a writer. However at long last, I think I might finally have a One Piece fic ready to get rolling. In it, I'll be exploring a lot of the things shown in the cover pages that are never expanded on in the story as well as introducing quite a few OC's, so expect lots of new things since there's so very little I want to change about the pure epicness that is One Piece's canon.

3) **_Fairy Tail Oberon (Reboot):_** I don't know if any of you read _Fairy Tail Oberon_ , or even if there are any _Fairy Tail_ fans in this audience, but I'm rebooting my one and only _Fairy Tail_ story. This is due to the titular character Oby being waaaaaaay OP in the first run, so I'm going to tone his power way back in the reboot and try to capture the spirit of Fairy Tail a little bit better.

 _I intend to write all three of these eventually, but I'll let you guys decide which one you all want to see first._

 _..._

 _(looks around, scratches head)_

 _Ok everybody, that's all I've got for now. Hoping to have the rest of Chapter 13 along soon._

 _Til next time, Ghost out!_


	14. Chapter 13: The Mask of The Red Death

**_AN:_** _Hey everybody, sorry for the wait! It's been a busy two months, but at long last here it is!_

 **Chapter 13: The Mask of the Red Death**

==Two Weeks Earlier==

Kumogakure was absolutely silent as En Chinoike crept in. He would've been wary, expecting a trap, but as the streets were liberally littered with bodies, he was having a hard time believing that Kumo was in any shape to be mounting much of anything, let alone an ambush for an S-Rank shinobi. He crept over to one of the bodies to examine it more closely and saw that it appeared to have had its internal organs _removed._ There was nothing left but a husk of bone and muscle with just enough of the bloody face left to be recognizable.

"What the hell kind of jutsu did this?" En wondered aloud as he looked around and saw the rest of the bodies to be in the same state. Then he nearly jumped from his skin as a voice spoke from behind him, "It wasn't a jutsu."

En spun and saw the boy that had fought Chino sitting on a pile of bodies, apparently hale and hearty despite the fact that he was supposed to be immobilized in a hospital bed back in Konoha. His brows furrowed and he opened his mouth to ask how the boy was there.

"Shadow clone," Koga declared simply without waiting for the question to be asked, "As for what did this, I can't really say. It wore a red cloak and hood, carried a scythe and wore a mask like a carrion bird. It moved around in thick red smoke and whatever the smoke touched was burned as though the smoke was acidic. Some kind of gas weapon I suppose. Anything the thing itself touched dropped dead with blood fountaining out of every orifice. The Raikage tried to fight it."

He looked down the street with a grim expression, "He actually succeeded in making it go poof into a blast of that red smoke. Then all these corpses? They got up out of the smoke wearing masks like the one it did. They fought like Sunagakure's puppets, with no regard for their own health and apparently no limit to their strength and speed. When the Raikage found the monster again, he actually managed to get its mask off."

Koga's fingers tightened on his sleeve, "There was nothing under there but a blood stained skull."

He let that sink in and then continued, "The Raikage was so surprised that the thing was finally able to catch him. It reached right through his lightning armor and choked him before he just, went limp. Then it dropped him into the red smoke and he got up a few minutes later wearing a mask. The rest of the Kumo nin tried to run, but the smoke and meat puppets circled them in and trapped them. Those things didn't get tired, Kumo did." He paused, "It was a slaughter."

En stared in horror, "Aaand the monster?" Koga shook his head, "gone, along with all the smoke and masks. It didn't take anything from them except their lives. I guess it was just here for the purpose of killing them. Why or to what end, I don't know. If I hadn't had a clone here in disguise as a bird to see the whole thing, I wouldn't have brought you here."

Then he turned a smile on En, "As is though, follow me! I found Hizashi's body days ago, I only waited to bring it back because I thought it would be better for you to do it!" He hopped off the pile of bodies and strode down the corpse littered street without a care in the world. En stared after him for a moment before following him, _What is wrong with this kid?_

==Present==

En smiled thinly through the oxygen mask and patted Chino's hand, "Don't worry sweety, I'll be fine! Tsunade-sama's the best and Koga-kun took excellent care of me the whole way! The stitches only came loose so that I'd have to come see Tsunade immediately! Koga doesn't trust himse…" Then he was asleep as the anesthetic hit him.

Chino started to panic and then Shizune laid a hand on her shoulder, "It's just the anesthetic, he's still fine. How's he looking Lady Tsunade?"

Tsunade glanced up, her gaze sharp with focus as Old Man Hiruzen body flickered out, "He's got a significant stab wound in his shoulder, it looks like he was torn open by a wild animal across his side, he's severely exhausted, and he's suffering the aftereffects of mild frost bite, but it looks like he was treated already. Amateurishly, but treated. I'll have him back to normal in no time," she declared with the utmost confidence. Then her expression darkened slightly, "And then I'm going to go beat Koga senseless for whatever he did that made this happen."

"You said I could keep it running!" Koga's voice suddenly whined from nowhere and everywhere at once. Tsunade was the only one who managed to not jump. Her face twisted into a rictus of narrowly restrained rage as she kept her eyes focused on her work and ground out, "Koga Kurohyou, what the hell are you doing out of bed?"

"I'm still in bed!" Koga's voice declared quickly, "That doesn't mean I can't still be in here! You said I could keep one clone's worth of chakra active for my sensory jutsu! It lets me communicate and fight too, so do you want to know what happened or do you want to yell at me for having a loophole?"

Tsunade growled and ground her teeth, "This isn't over brat. What happened to my patient?"

"He got jumped by a pack of Frost-nin on his way back from Cloud Country," Koga declared bluntly, "They had summon lynxes that could Body Flicker. I was too busy killing the cats after I found out they could Body Flicker when one got close enough to hurt En-san and that's how they managed to hit him with that kunai and the ice jutsu while he was fighting them. We won by the way."

"WHY THE HELL DID YOU SEND MY DADDY ON SUCH A DANGEROUS MISSION?!" Chino exclaimed before Tsunade could ask another question.

Koga snorted, "It wasn't dangerous! All the Kumo-nin were already _dead_ when he got there! I wouldn't have told him about it if there were still Kumo-nin everywhere! I'm not gonna send someone I like on a suicide mission…the only reason it took so long to get back is because those stupid Frost nin got the drop on us on our way back! If they hadn't ambushed us we would've been back just as good as when we left three days ago! We were going slow to avoid making his wounds act up, and you better believe we made them pay for the delay _big_ time."

Chino took a few minutes to process that and then crossed her arms and pouted, "I'm still mad at you."

"I figured you would be," Koga replied, "You can beat on my real body all you want, but you may have to get in line. I have a feeling Tsunade-sama's gonna take a few swings at me when she gets done with your dad."

"You have _no. Idea,"_ Tsunade grumbled prompting Koga's voice to go silent with a frightened "Eep!"

 _I bet he wouldn't say that if he didn't have a fresh one on standby,_ Shizune mused silently to herself as she set to work revitalizing En Chinoike's frostbitten legs, "And what did he mean by all the Kumo-nin were dead?"

Tsunade snorted, "Probably that he killed them. If he can sneak up on me with this jutsu and is actually capable of fighting with it, then if his range extends that far then he's probably capable of axing an entire Hidden Village from halfway across the continent. Even now I can't sense him or whatever chakra he's using for it that jutsu. If he can actually throw an assassination technique with it anywhere inside his range, then it would be the ultimate assassination technique because his range would be so great that his approach would be undetectable. We'll have to wait for En-san to wake up, but if his range actually does reach all the way to Kumo, then it could very well explain how he seems to know everything all the time."

Naruko, who had been standing quietly in the corner with her face in her hands as Koga talked, now peeked out between her fingers as things started to click into place and then she exploded, "KOGA KUROHYOU I AM GOING TO _KICK YOUR ASS! FUCKING SHADOW CLONES!"_ She stormed out, her chakra manifesting around her in an angry vermillion miasma as her words echoed through the swinging double doors as she continued to rant, "WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU TELL ME **they could do that?** _Kami do you have any idea how much harder_ I would have studied clone jutsu if I had realized…"

Her words faded and a moment later Tsunade actually lifted her glowing hand off En's chest and facepalmed, "Of course…" She set her hand back on En's chest and continued working as she muttered, "I'm gonna kick Jiraiya's ass for teaching him that damned Transparent Escape Technique…" Then she declared in a louder voice, "Koga, as soon as I'm through with this and Naruko's through with you I'm coming after you for cheating your way out of your restraints!"

Shizune frowned, "Cheating his way out of his restraints?"

Tsunade nodded without lifting her eyes from En's still form, "Koga's kekkai genkai remember? His chakra usage is ultra-efficient, what an ordinary person would require to power one clone is what he needs to power a small army of them. He probably had five squads' worth of invisible Shadow Clones following En all the way to Kumo and all the way back."

"And a space time seal in case it got too dangerous!" Koga's invisible clone added. There was a stretch of silence and then, "So why exactly didn't you _use it_ as soon as he retrieved Hizashi's body?" Tsunade asked in a voice that was struggling to remain calm.

"Eh? Oh…Um…shit…OW! OW! OW! OW! KNOCK IT OFF THAT HURTS! OW! SHIT! OW! OWOWOWOW! OUCH! WHY ARE YOU SO ABUSIVE WOMAN?! YEOWCH! EEEP!" He suddenly squeaked in a voice two or three octaves too high, " _That was mean 'Ruko-chan…OW!"_

The sounds of Naruko's extremely _violent_ punishment of Koga continued for several minutes and brought a big smile to Tsunade's face even after Chino, Shizune and the rest of the med-nin in the room began to cringe and pity the poor boy that they all knew was still hog tied in a strait jacket and completely at the mercy of his apparently _severely_ irate girlfriend.

When the sounds of pain and agony finally faded almost fifteen minutes later, Chino told Shizune quietly, "You know, maybe I won't be beating him up after all..." Shizune nodded, "I think Naruko's gotcha covered."

"I know!" Tsunade said with a big smile, "I taught her so well!"

One poor terrified med-nin silently mused to himself, _Lord Jiraiya's such a baby about needles, I never would've guessed he was a masochist…Tsunade-sama's crazy…_

==Later==

Tsunade actually patted Naruko on the head with a smug grin as she took in the patchwork of bruises and blood leaking orifices that was only narrowly recognizable as Koga's face, "Attagirl Naruko."

Naruko snorted irritably, "You're gonna fix him right? I wouldn't have beat him up if I didn't think you could fix him."

Tsunade smiled as she walked over to the bedside, "Of course sweety! I just wanna get in one good shot of my own first…" Before Naruko could reply, Tsunade reached out, grabbed Koga's nose and _tweaked it._ The crunchy sound actually made Naruko flinch almost as much as the howl of anguish that escaped the blood filled, swollen slit that had once been Koga's mouth.

Then before Tsunade could even let go, Koga _moved_. It could hardly be qualified as a _movement_ it was so fast. Teleported would've been closer to the mark. One second he was being violently dragged back into consciousness by the (severely broken) nose and tied up in a strait jacket that was strapped to the bed, the next he was on his feet in the hallway shouting into his suddenly free hands with his eyes as wide as they could go while still swollen half shut.

When he finished the wordless shout at the top of his lungs, he snapped his hands together in a very familiar hand sign, " _MITOTIC REGENERATION!_ " Steam erupted off him as he growled and shook, his wounds boiling away extremely rapidly as the line of a seal that Tsunade was sure hadn't been there the last time she had examined him raced across his body. Less than a minute later, Koga put his hands on his knees, his breathing ragged and heavy as it escaped from his fully healed lips.

Before anyone could react, he was gone, leaving Tsunade, Naruko, Shizune, Chino and Old Man Hiruzen to stare in shock at the space where he had been standing. "Enough is enough dammit!" Koga's voice echoed throughout the hallway, "Happy birthday to me a week early! I'm free! I'm free!"

They stood there staring for several minutes and then just as Tsunade was about to say something a very unnerving sound began to echo throughout the village, _Heeheeheeheeheeheehee…_

"Why is he laughing?" Tsunade asked as she started to go pale. Naruko went even paler, "Uh-oh…That's his _crazy_ laugh…" Then the giggling grew to a mad cackling howling laugh as the wind started to howl outside, " _SECOND GATE! OPEN!"_

==Meanwhile, The Great Wall of Konoha==

Guy finally caught up to the oddly glowing Koga as the prodigy ran blazing fast leaps around the top of the wall, "Koga-kun! Did I just hear you say you opened the Second Gate?! You know that's a forbidden technique right?!"

Koga shot him a thumbs up with red Sharingan eyes that Guy was sure he hadn't had before, "Yep!" He called over the wind, "Breaks down the body too fast! Hard to heal! Not an issue anymore! Using Lady Tsunade's special healing jutsu! Building muscle as fast as I can burn it! Gonna make up for that month in bed! Come on Guy-sensei!" he called as he waved his arms excitedly, "Race! RACE! FIFTY LAPS! FIFTY LAPS!"

"NO WAY!" Guy shouted back, "YOU'RE WHIPPING UP A CYCLONE BIG ENOUGH TO WRECK THE ENTIRE VILLAGE!"

Koga turned his head and looked at the massive storm brewing over Konoha, "Oh shit…whoops…" Then he looked back at Guy, "RACE YA TO SUNA!" He turned and shot off the edge of the wall bouncing off two or three trees and continuing to run, laughing like a madman, "WHEEEEEEEEEeeeeee!"

Guy stopped and stared after him in shocked silence for a moment and then tears welled in his eyes, "SUCH VIGOROUS YOUTH! I ACCEPT YOUR CHALLENGE YOUNG KOGA!" he boomed, then he too was gone with nothing but an incredibly fast eddy of slipstream to mark his passing.


	15. Chapter 14: Consequences

Chapter 14 – Consequences

==Two Days Later==

Neji paused sparring with Leelee as Naruko entered the Academy yard. Neji frowned as he deflected Leelee's kick with an off-handed block, "Naruko, you're quite early this morning. Is something wrong?" He frowned as he took in Naruko's sour expression and the dark circles under her eyes. Then his own eyes widened, "Wait! Is Koga okay?"

Naruko's expression turned stormy, "Oh yeah, he's perfectly fine! Racing Guy-sensei to Suna right now if what I heard is right!"

Neji's frown deepened in concentration as he thought about the cues in Naruko's behavior, "Did you two have a fight?"

Naruko turned red and huffed, "Yeah. I finally figured out how the stupid jerk always seems to know everything. He's been using Shadow Clones and Uncle Jiraiya's Transparent Escape Jutsu to be everywhere at once. I've tried everything I can think of to counter it and find his clones, but nothing's working. I don't know _how_ he's hiding his clones, but he is. Do you think you could use your Byakugan to help me spot him? I wanna give him a piece of my mind for not telling me!"

Neji turned on his Byakugan, more curious to see if Naruko's words were true than to help her out. He frowned and searched for several minutes and then, "I'm sorry Naruko, but I don't see him anywhere inside my range."

Naruko frowned, "He's here. I _know_ he's here. He has to be…" She started to head inside before looking over her shoulder as she opened the door, "Thanks for checking Neji. Good morning Leelee, sorry I forgot to say hi earlier."

"Oh no it's…" Leelee started only to be cut off by the door swinging shut behind Naruko, "…fine." Leelee pouted, "That was a very un-youthful way to say hello."

Neji shivered slightly, "Leelee, please don't start on the youthfulness. Guy-sensei has it covered."

"But he's not here today," Leelee pointed out, "Someone has to do it, it just feels right!" She pouted at him, "You know it wouldn't be right if nobody was going on and on about the fires of youth while we had our morning training."

Neji didn't meet Leelee's gaze as a faint blush rose to his cheeks, "Very well…" He slid his gaze to watch her feet and not the brilliantly sunny smile that had almost ruined his game face, "Let's continue."

Meanwhile Tenten grinned as she, Tsubaki and Chino watched around the edge of the academy fence. "What you girls wanna bet he asks her out in the next month?" "A month?" Tsubaki replied with a grin, " _Please_ , if Leelee keeps turning on the cute like that, it'll be in less than a week."

Chino grinned over her shoulder at the fence separating them from the subjects of their speculation, "Nah. I give it at least three months for Neji to get over being such a stuffed shirt."

Tenten and Tsubaki looked at her and then Tenten smiled gently, "I think you might be underestimating Leelee's tenacity there Chino. Don't forget, she's training under Guy-sensei."

Chino smiled in a slightly dismissive manner as she gestured to her hair, "You mean bowl-cut jumpsuit guy? I've seen you guys training with him, but is he really _that_ intense?"

Tenten and Tsubaki looked at her as though she were out of her mind. "The only person a trait as intense as Guy-sensei's physical is Koga's _mental_ ," Tsubaki declared, "And you _know_ how scary smart Koga is."

Chino frowned, "No, he…actually hasn't done that much that's just _crazy_ smart around me. I mean, I know my dad said he helped him with the mission to Kumo, and that definitely requires one hell of a jutsu, so I can definitely see him being insanely _powerful_ to maintain clones over that massive a distance while he was in such bad shape, but how long has he had that jutsu running? He wouldn't have to be insanely smart to come across that way if he's got clones everywhere telling him everything they see. I mean, if I didn't _know_ about his clones, then I might be wowed, but knowing about his clones, I'd say he doesn't really count as a single person if we're talking about intelligence. He's like a beehive the way his clones work."

Unnoticed by any of them, about thirty feet away, Shino tilted his head and began to silently ponder the applications of his own hive.

==Two Days Later==

It was a quiet Saturday morning at the great gates of Konoha. Itachi and Izumi had volunteered for a bit of gate duty so as to have breakfast together, and make a little money while they were at it. "Win-win," Izumi had declared with a wink when Itachi questioned it. Now they were enjoying their quiet Saturday morning as birds chirped in the trees and the first red fingers of sunrise peeked over the trees.

It was very quiet indeed, so the thunder of racing feet and the cloud of dust immediately drew Itachi and Izumi's attention. "Looks like they're back," Izumi declared with a smile as the massive dust cloud and two small specks drew closer at breakneck speeds.

Guy was actually breathing hard and running full tilt as he and a far more muscular than when he'd left Koga raced up to and through the village gate before skidding to a halt, the massive wind they'd been dragging along in their wake ripping and howling through the village to announce their return.

They both spun, equally eager to see which had crossed the threshold and finish line first. "Izumi-sensei! Itachi-san!" Koga called excitedly, "Who crossed first?! It was super close I couldn't tell!"

Izumi shrugged, "I'm sorry guys, I didn't have my Sharingan on!" "Guy by a hair's breadth," Itachi declared calmly as he picked up his tea cup, "But Koga-kun, shouldn't you be in bed?"

Koga grinned and scratched his head, "Ah yeeeah…about that…" _POOF!_ Guy, Itachi and Izumi stared at the spot where he'd been as the chakra smoke cleared.

Itachi frowned, "So where's the _real_ Koga?" Before anyone could answer, Naruko came racing up, "KOGAAAAA!" She skidded to a halt and shot glares all around before turning her gaze to Guy, "Where'd he go?"

"Apparently he wasn't here to begin with," Itachi mused. Naruko took a second to register that and then turned a furious gaze on Guy to demand, " _You came back without him?!"_

Guy frowned, not at all liking the little blond girl's tone, "Not intentionally. Young Koga must have switched with a clone at some point, possibly even before the race began." " _AND YOU COULDN'T TELL THE DIFFERENCE?!_ " Naruko shrieked.

Guy frowned, "Young lady, please calm down. Young Koga is a master of that jutsu and could fool even very trained eyes with it. You should not give in to such unyouthful outrage."

"Naruko…" Izumi said in a warning tone that was totally lost on the furious young blonde Jinchuriki. Naruko turned and Izumi actually flinched as she noticed the slit pupiled _red_ in Naruko's eyes as she hissed with an abnormal amount of venom, " _What?"_

"I understand that you are upset Naruko," Itachi said in a calm voice. It was a voice not unlike boredom in how level it was, but really it was Itachi's attempt at a soothing voice as he continued, "But no matter how upset you are with Koga for running off on a cross country race without saying anything to you, you must remember to respect your elders and superiors. Guy-sensei is a Jonin, he has more than earned your respect."

Red chakra started to bubble out of Naruko and her voice began to distort, " _Why the hell should I respect a weirdo like him?! And SUPERIORS?! I DON'T HAVE ANY. I'M…_ " **SMACK!**

"A spoiled brat," Koga's voice declared coldly out of thin air as a stunned Naruko raised a hand to the already reddening handprint on her cheek. Naruko's aura of bubbly red chakra winked out almost immediately as she stared at the place where Koga's voice had come from.

"Y-you…hit…me…" Naruko stammered as the color started to drain from her face, highlighting the redness on her cheek even more, "Y-you've _never_ hit me…even when I…" The rest of the color went out of her face as the end of that sentence crossed her lips, "…was beating you up…" It finally clicked with her that she'd beaten him to a pulp while he was in a straitjacket in the hospital recovering, _from wounds he'd given himself at a request from her._ The horror started to sink in, _Oh god… ohgodohgodohgod…_ "I'm sorry…"

Even as the apology left her lips, Naruko knew it was a weak and feeble excuse for one. Then Koga started to speak in a low, cold and bitter voice, "Yes I rather suspect you are now that you're actually _stopping to think_ _about your actions._ " Naruko flinched like he had slapped her again, but before she could say anything, Koga continued, "I suppose that's my fault. I've been too protective and helpful. That sweet little girl I fell for would never have attacked someone like that, and she would never have even considered saying something as arrogant as what was about to cross your lips. What happened to that girl?"

Naruko's breath began to become thin and ragged in terror, "N-no…I…I'm still me…K-koga! Please! I'm sorry! I didn't mean it!"

"Yeah you did," Koga said quietly, "You let yourself get so caught up in the secrets I've shared with you, with who you think you should be, that you've forgotten who you are. It's…my… _fault…_ " he ground out, "My fault… that… you're not _you_ anymore…" Some sad strangled sounds escaped him and then Naruko felt Koga's fingertips brush against her jaw. She let her gaze follow where he led and as he seemed to materialize out of thin air, she saw that he was crying just as much as she wanted to. Just as she was about to reach out and touch him, she realized what was wrong. His eyes were different. They were red, just like the…Naruko's breath hitched as she realized Koga was crying tears of blood, then she knew no more, a force slamming over her mind like a club to the face.

Guy leapt to catch her as she collapsed, Koga disappearing in another blast of chakra smoke even as she started to fall. Even as Guy was catching her, Naruko began to bawl.

==Two Weeks After Koga's Escape From The Hospital==

Tenten sighed into the apparently empty room as a breath of wind turned a page on the table in the center of the library, "Koga, how long are you and the Dittos going to keep hiding?"

"A bit longer yet," Koga's disembodied voice replied as though it should be perfectly obvious, "And I'm not hiding. Me and all my dittos are right out in the open."

Tenten frowned as she scanned the titles of the books on the shelf, "You are too hiding! Transparent Escape Jutsu counts as hiding!"

Koga snorted, "I still can't believe that Tsunade thinks Jiraiya would teach me that. The old perv likes me. _He don't like me_ _that much._ " Tenten raised an eyebrow and then Koga added, "Especially since he figures I'd use it to peep on Tsubaki."

"Would you?" Tenten asked as she pulled out the book on fuinjutsu she was looking for.

"Of course not!" Koga replied immediately, "There's no need! I know _exactly_ what she looks like naked and Jiraiya bloody well knows it! Hell, I was one of the first two people she ever interacted with!"

Tenten paused as that registered, "What?"

"Oh yeah, you weren't in on the secret of the house yet…" Koga remembered, then he sighed, "Eh…How do I put this…erm…you know how some people tease each other about being hatched?"

Tenten grimaced and went to the table to sit down, "You are _not_ about to tell me that you actually hatched Tsubaki from an egg."

"Not in the literal sense," Koga replied, "But she wasn't born in the ah, _typical_ way…"

Tenten frowned up at the ceiling since she wasn't sure exactly where Koga's voice was coming from since it seemed to echo from different points around the room with every fresh syllable, "The hell is that supposed to mean?"

"He's trying to say that I was grown in a test tube," Tsubaki declared as she came in, "Hey Koga, thanks for the loaner on beginner's Wood Release! Have you got an intermediate book?"

Koga's response was for a book to come flying off its shelf and bounce across the room on little bursts of air to land in Tsubaki's hand. Tsubaki smiled and went to put the book she was returning back as Tenten tried to process what Tsubaki had said. Before she managed it, Tsubaki looked over her shoulder, "You know how my parents used to be on the same squad? Well their third teammate, Orochimaru, was into all kinds of crazy stuff, really liked forbidden jutsu. One of the jutsu he created was a technique to grow people from other people's DNA. A living clone jutsu," she declared as she sat down at the table.

Tenten took a second to process that in the face of Tsubaki's level and earnest gaze, "So, you're actually a living clone?"

Tsubaki tilted her head, "Eh…kinda. He made me from a combination of Mom and Dad's DNA, so even though I _am_ their daughter, Mom didn't have me. I was born in a big tube in one of the labs in here," she shrugged as she opened the book, "I spent seven years in there with no knowledge of anything except the scenery outside of my tube and the taste of that goo that was keeping me alive, basically just a vegetable. Koga's the one who found me after Orochimaru moved out. He took care of me with Naruko and Dad until Mom got here and accidentally triggered the jutsu that gave me my personality and mind."

"Sooo…when Koga said he knew exactly what you look like naked…" Tenten asked cautiously.

Tsubaki nodded, "He helped bathe me, feed me, um…" she blushed as she remembered exactly what all she'd needed help with when she'd had no idea how to move her body, "pretty much everything at least a few times. Oh and Koga?"

"Mm-hmm?" Koga hummed from seemingly right there at the table with them. Tsubaki turned towards where the sound had emanated from and gave him a warm gentle smile, "I'm not sure I ever got around to saying it, but thank you." A moment later she started slightly as something brushed against her leg and she scooted her chair back to look at the little black cat that had just been rubbing against her legs purring happily.

"Love you too Tsu-chan," the cat told her with a smile in Koga's voice despite its mouth not moving. Then he meowed inquisitively as Tsubaki picked him up under the forelegs to look at him in surprise, "Koga-kun? Why are you a cat?"

Koga-cat pouted at her, "Technically this form is a black leopard cub. That's my name, Kurohyou, Black Leopard." Tenten frowned from across the table, "I thought your name was Kurohyo, Black _Weather_ in reference to your kekkai genkai?"

Koga-cat looked over his shoulder and grinned, "Nope! Homonym, everyone gets it wrong. Also, this is actually what I meant when I said I'm not hiding right now. I'm not here. This little kitty is just one of my Dittos."

Then Tsubaki grinned, "Does this little kitty want to snuggle?" Koga-cat turned a brilliant smile on her, "I _LOVE SNUGGLES!_ " Tsubaki squealed in delight and gently hugged him to her before getting up, catching her book and moving to a large squishy chair to read.

Tenten watched them with a bemused smile, "You know that if Naruko comes in and finds you like that when you've been hiding from her for two weeks she's gonna slug you right?"

"I'll slug her right back!" Tsubaki replied cheekily as Koga-cat curled up in her lap.

Then Koga's voice began to echo around the room again, "I already told you Ten-chan, I'm _not_ hiding. The Dittos aren't either. They're all out in the open. You can't see them, but that's not due to some jutsu they're using in an active attempt to hide, it's just part of the new jutsu I'm using for them."

Tenten raised an eyebrow, "Okay, but that doesn't explain why I can't see _you._ "

Koga laughed, "Isn't it obvious? It's because I'm _nowhere near_ Konoha right now!"

Tenten set her book down, "What?"

==Somewhere Far Far West of Suna==

Koga laughed in a fuinjutsu stabilized adult form as he looked out over the rolling hills of fields and flowers while waves lapped at the white sand beach behind him, "You really think I'd hide from my 'Ruko-chan? No! I'm taking a trip around the world! Guy-sensei raced me the first leg of the course to Suna, but I tricked him and sent a clone back with him so I could do this! Building a ship to sail across the ocean was a bit of a chore, but by golly this is worth it! In all the maps I've seen I've never seen any record of this land!"

Koga knew Tenten was glaring as she declared, "Bull! There's no way you did that!" Koga laughed, "Don't worry! I'll be back before you know it and I'll bring you a souvenir! See you when I get back!" Without bothering to wait for a response he turned his attention away from the link, effectively severing it.

==Meanwhile==

Outside the House library, Naruko turned and walked away, tears brimming in her eyes and completely unaware of the dozens of tiny shadow clones wrestling with themselves to not grow back to full size and wrap her in a hug.


	16. Chapter 15: Getting Back

Chapter 15 – Getting Back

==Three Weeks After Koga's Escape from the Hospital and Disappearance==

Tenten caught Naruko by the shoulder, "Naruko!" Naruko stopped from where she had been walking down the alley that the entrance to the house was situated in. She looked over her shoulder at Tenten and Tenten almost flinched at the despondent look in Naruko's eyes.

Tenten exhaled, "Naruko, _what happened between you and Koga?_ " Naruko's breath visibly seized in her chest and her eyes went wide. Tenten's frown deepened. That was _not_ a good sign, "Come on. Inside." She herded Naruko inside and sat her down at the wooden table in the kitchen that still served as the entrance room to the House before casting a glare around, " _Koga_. I know you've got clones in here listening. Get them out right now and give us some privacy or I swear Naruko and I will move out _this instant._ "

There was an immediate sound like a distant thunderclap as every clone in the room disappeared simultaneously and the door to the next room slammed shut with Koga's voice calling from the other side, "I'm out! I'm out!"

Naruko's head snapped up and her sharp eyes immediately detected the faint hazes of chakra smoke lingering in corners and across the various surfaces. The breath went out of her and her eyes went wide, "Oh my god… _That's_ what he's been doing…"

Tenten's gaze snapped over to her, "What is?" "His technique that lets him know everything and be everywhere," Naruko explained quickly as the first smile Tenten had seen her wear in weeks spread across her face, "I knew Shadow Clones had to be a component, but I didn't know how he was hiding them! And I overheard him tell you and Tsubaki that he was right out in the open but that seemed impossible since even Neji's Byakugan couldn't find him. Now that I've seen so many disperse all at once, I know what he did! He's using Transformation to make them _TINY! Nobody can catch them because they're the size of fleas!_ "

Naruko stomped her feet and clapped rapidly, giggling with feverish excitement at having finally unraveled the secret of Koga's apparent omniscience and Tenten frowned, "Tiny huh?" She pulled a pen and paper from her backpack and slapped it onto the table, clicking out the point of her pen and then letting it fly across the paper. A moment later she slapped her hand onto the seal she had hastily constructed and a burst of chakra erupted from around her, sending nearly everything in the room but the furniture flying as though she had punched it. It was enough to crush anything smaller than a mouse.

Tenten's eyes roved about the room until she was sure that none of the hypothetical tiny clones could've survived and then she flicked her gaze up at the ceiling, "House, initiate _Do Not Disturb."_ The front door latch flipped shut and Tenten nodded as she felt chakra begin to emanate from the front door and the door to the rest of the house as the secondary concealing and privacy jutsus went up. She then pulled out a chair and sat down next to Naruko before pulling her into a hug, "Now then. Tell big sis what happened."

Naruko's surprised expression immediately faded to forlorn, "Koga dumped me." "WHAT?!" Tenten exclaimed, her grip going slightly slack before tightening around her baby sister, " _Details. Now."_

"Well, you know how he sent Chino's dad to Hidden Cloud to get back Neji's dad's body so he could have a burial?" Naruko asked. Tenten nodded, "Neji and Chino told me about it."

"Well," Naruko said quietly, "When Koga was explaining how he had been with Chino's dad the whole mission, I figured out that he'd been using Shadow Clones and that was how he knows everything all the time. I was really angry because that's so cool and he never even hinted to me that they could be used like that…I had totally ignored Shadow Clone jutsu because I didn't realize they were so strong…I thought my exploding clones were better, but then to find out that he didn't even _tell_ _me_ that he had the strongest clone jutsu there is, I was just so _furious_ …"

Tenten frowned, "What did you do?" Tenten felt warmth start to stain the shoulder of her shirt and knew the water works were starting as Naruko mumbled, "I beat him up…really _really_ badly…I hurt him so bad Aunty Tsunade didn't even pummel him for cheating his chakra restrictions…all she did was…tweak his nose…" Her voice cracked and she started to sob as she clarified, " _His nose that I had just finished breaking because I knew she could fix him!"_

Tenten shot a mortified glance at her little sister, _No wonder he dumped her, that must've been one hellish beating! And wasn't he still in that straitjacket?!_ Before she could recover from her horror at Naruko's actions, Naruko continued.

"And then he woke up screaming because it hurt him so much and he substituted out of his straitjacket and used Aunty's super special healing jutsu to fix himself and then he disappeared and started whipping up a cyclone running laps around the village and then Guy-sensei went to stop him and Koga challenged him to a race and then he was gone for four days and I was so pissed that he'd run off like that so when he got back I was super angry and Itachi-san and Izumi-nee tried to calm me down because I wasn't thinking and I was really mean to Guy-sensei and then Koga _dumped meeeeeeeee!"_ she wailed.

Tenten adjusted her hug so that she could pat Naruko on the back as she continued to bawl, "He said I wasn't the girl he'd fallen in love with anymore and he called me a spoiled little brat and said that it was his fault because he's been too nice to me and helped me too much and he was so sad because he thought he had made me not nice anymore that it triggered some weird thing with that Sharingan he got himself and he was crying _blood_ and then he used a genjutsu to show me what our lives would've been like if he hadn't sat by me that first day at the Academy and I feel so terrible because now I know that he really _does_ need me and I was so horrible to him and all he's ever been is nice to me and…"

Tenten gently swatted Naruko on the back to stop her rambling, "Oi." Naruko cut off her bawling with an inquisitive whimper. Tenten sighed, "It sounds like I'm going to have to beat on Koga myself for breaking your heart and using a genjutsu on you, but I can't say he was wrong. You have gotten kind of spoiled and lazy these last few months," Naruko flinched and Tenten continued, "And he's also right that it's almost certainly his fault. Maybe not one hundred percent, but definitely at least ninety. So I'm going to smack him when I see him again."

Naruko's grip tightened slightly, "No, don't do that…I hit him enough for everybody…" Tenten sighed and then told her irritably, " _I don't care._ He made my baby sister cry, so I'm going to smack him even if you _did_ need a scolding. Don't think I didn't notice that handprint on your cheek either!" she added angrily, "I'm smacking him DOUBLE for that! I'll leave an imprint of my _fist_ in his head!" Naruko flinched, "Um…I think I kinda deserved that one. I was being really _really_ rude."

Tenten snorted, "Fine, only _one_ good smack then." She thought about it and added, " _If_ you go apologize to Guy-sensei and anyone else you were rude to." Naruko nodded and Tenten continued, "Now as for the bit about you being spoiled…" She sighed, "I suppose I've been slacking in my duties as a big sister. Even if we only found out a few weeks ago, I've still been your friend for over a year, and I've been letting you down. So…"

She pushed Naruko back up right and her most serious gaze bored into Naruko's, "From now on, I will _not_ let you and Koga spoil each other and I will do everything in my power to keep you humble and kind like you were when I met you. 'Kay?" She finished with her best winning smile. Naruko nodded and then Tenten's expression turned deadly serious, "And just so you know, if Koga doesn't stop being such a bad influence on you I might not let him get back together with you. Ahahahah!" She cut off Naruko's protest, "It's my job as your big sister to make sure that whoever you date isn't going to be bad for you. Koga's done a lot of good things for us, but he's just that kind of person. You've heard of having too much of a good thing? Like how sugar's tasty but rots your teeth? I'm worried that may be what you dating him is, except he's been rotting your _personality_."

Naruko opened her mouth to protest and then closed it back and looked away as she realized Tenten might very well be right. Tenten sighed as she noted how sad that thought made Naruko and then continued, "The one bright side is that it looks like he _knows_ that it's been happening. That's probably why he dumped you, so that you could get back to being you without him around to make you all rotten inside." She sighed, "And knowing how over the top he is, he'll probably stay away until he's sure you can handle having him around. I guess you know he's not in Konoha right now?"

Naruko nodded, and then a slightly mortified expression spread across her face, "You mean he won't come back until we're all grown up?"

"Heee…might do something like that…" Tenten hedged, "His Shadow Clones are all still here, so he's probably still keeping an eye out for us and trying to protect us, but yeah. He might not be back in person for a _while._ If he thinks him being around is hurting you, then you and I both know that he'll stay far away until it's safe for him to be around you again. He might've broken up with you for now, but I can't even imagine a Koga that's _not_ hopelessly in love with you, and I don't think he can either."

Then she smiled, "Now come on. Dry up and let's go start getting those apologies in."

==A Little While Later==

Tenten stood a little ways away as Naruko apologized to Itachi and Izumi. She smiled at the scene and then shot a glare at the small black leopard cub sitting on the low wall next to her, "Koga."

Koga nodded and his voice emanated from the feline, "Thank you Tenten. I don't know what you said to her, but she seems happy now, and all the sweetness that had gone from her seems to be coming back. I can't thank you enough."

"You made her cry." Tenten declared simply with mountains worth of accusation and simmering rage laden into the simple statement.

Koga-cat gulped and his ears tipped back before he nodded, "Yes. I… she needed a wake up call. I couldn't stand letting her become the way she was getting, especially not knowing that it was my fault."

Tenten's frown deepened, "I'm fully aware of that and it's the only reason I didn't _drag_ her out of that House of yours the instant I realized it."

Koga-cat's fur stood on end and he went deathly still, "No…" he whispered, horror clearly evident in his eyes, "Please…not that…anything but that…you don't understand…"

"What exactly do I not understand?" Tenten demanded, "You love her but you can't refuse her anything so you spoil her rotten and make her personality go sideways. I think that's pretty cut and dried. You're a bad influence."

"That's true," Koga replied shakily, "But if you think it's a one way street, then she must not have told you about the mind bogglingly positive effect that she has on _me_."

Tenten frowned, "Go on." "I used a genjutsu that day, using the combined opinions and views of everyone who knows us as well as my own knowledge of her and myself for the most empirical evaluation I could produce of what she and I would be like if we hadn't met that first day at the academy," Koga told her quietly, "To put it lightly, without her I would've become a _monster_. I know I'm a bit pushy, and over the top, and I know I'm arrogant and selfish and a totally insensitive bastard, but without her, without _someone_ to reign in my darker impulses for, I'd become so much worse. I can't let myself become like that, and without her, I _will_ become like that. That's why I had to leave. If she continues to be infected by my darkness, then soon we'll both be at twilight, and twilight _always_ fades to night…" he shuddered slightly, "a blacker stormier night than any this world has ever seen. I can't let that happen."

Tenten snorted, "From the way you're talking, a broken heart for you means the end of the world." Koga-cat shuddered, "Not quite the end of the world, but the end of me as I am now, and while it might not be the outright demise of everyone involved, it would certainly be a turning point for the worse. MUCH worse."

Tenten raised an eyebrow, "Overestimating yourself a bit much aren't you?" Koga raised his eyes to meet hers and told her flatly, "I singlehandedly massacred an entire hidden village in half an hour from that hospital bed less than a week after nearly tearing my own heart out. Take a second to let that sink in, and consider what could happen if I were to have a psychotic break and go on a rampage."

Tenten took the second and then it started to hit her. She remembered the tornado Koga had summoned to impress her not long after she had met him, the firestorm he had summoned against Chino, the way he always seemed to know everything. She gulped as a bead of sweat ran down the back of her neck at the thought of him going on a rampage, "Ah yeah, good point. Probably need to keep that from happening."

Koga nodded, "I'm glad you agree. That's why I have a favor to ask of you." Tenten nodded, "go ahead."

Koga looked her in the eye and in the most serious voice she had ever heard him use, "Tenten, I must ask that you act as the voice of reason for myself and Naruko. Without someone to keep us grounded in our humanity, I fear our power will go to our heads and render us monsters. We need someone who can pull us back from that madness, and someone who can _stop us_ should we fall into our own darkness. You're the only one with the resources to come up with full countermeasures for both myself and Naruko. You have my word that you will have your privacy, and if you accept then I will transfer primary residence of the house to _you_ so that you can lock me out of my stronghold and not be stripped of your best resources should I ever go batshit crazy."

Tenten's eyes widened as that sank in, "Wait, _you're giving me the House?!_ " Koga-cat nodded, "It is impenetrable, even to me. Should you ever need a sanctuary, and if I go mad then you _will_ need one, the House is your best bet. It already contains countermeasures for various scenarios I've foreseen which could lead to me going off the deep end."

A book appeared next to Koga-cat, "This is the Manual for the House. In handing it to you, I am naming you its caretaker and primary resident, meaning you will be able to lock me out should the need arise. With this, all data and materials inside the House are at your disposal." He looked down in what Tenten thought might have been shame, "I haven't told anyone, not even 'Ruko-chan this, but the House gathers the full knowledge of everyone who enters. The sum total of the Sannin, the Hokages, Kakashi-sensei, everyone who's ever entered the house, including me, our knowledge is in that House. On top of that, I stole every shred of information that was in Hidden Cloud when I massacred them. With access to that, you have the capability to surpass all of us."

Koga looked up and met her stunned gaze, "Know this though Tenten. In giving you this, I am making you potentially every bit as much of a danger to the safety of the world as I am. I will regard you as one of the very few people capable of surpassing me, and should you ever fall into darkness, I will strive to stop you as I will expect you to stop me should the reverse be true. Knowing this, will you accept this burden for me?"

Tenten looked at the book, then at Koga, then over her shoulder at Naruko before turning back to Koga and then looking at the book because she couldn't hold his gaze, "That's a _lot_ to ask of me Koga. Besides, what if you take me down with you? I, know you look at me a lot the same way you look at Tsubaki, and I don't think I'm wrong in guessing that you have only a shred less affection for us than Naruko if that much." Koga nodded and Tenten continued softly, "And I think you've figured out that we feel the same way about you."

Koga-cat's tail fell flat as his jaw dropped, "You…love me too?" Tenten glanced away in a tsundere pout, "Don't go getting a swelled head. I'm still gonna sock you one when you get back for making Naruko cry, but I don't think I'm the person you should entrust the duty of stopping you to. I mean, I'll certainly _try_ to be the voice of reason for you two, but if I'm honest with myself, I know I'll probably be right behind you down whatever path you choose. I guess you haven't noticed, but you're kinda _really_ persuasive when you want to be."

Koga took a moment of shocked silence and then, "Well, um…you make a fair case…I uh, erm…" He brushed his tail over the book and it disappeared. He looked away with the most puzzled look Tenten had ever seen on a cat, "I haven't a clue how to process this."

Tenten wasn't quite sure what it was about the scene in front of her, but she couldn't hold back. "Pfft…tch…" she tried though! "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" She was quickly howling with laughter at the utterly perplexed feline's expression.

==The Next Day==

Naruko fell to her knees panting. Tsubaki, Chino, Guy, Leelee and Neji kept running, only Tenten noticed that Naruko had stopped, the others were moving too fast. Tenten knelt and laid a hand on the side of Naruko's as her beloved baby sister gasped for air. Tenten frowned, Naruko's pulse was going as fast as Guy-sensei's feet. Tenten sighed, "You're pushing yourself too hard Naruko."

Naruko cracked her eyes and began trying to push herself upright, "No. I was never a quitter before, and I'm not going to be now. I said I was going to do this, and I'm going to. I'm not…I'm not going to be some spoiled brat anymore. I'm going to work just as hard as Leelee does. I'm going to be ME again. That girl who wanted to be Hokage isn't gone. I'm right here. Chino just started with you guys a week ago, and she's keeping up. I'm going to too." So saying she pushed herself almost all the way back upright… only to fall into Tenten's arms.

Then she felt something damp press to the side of her face and even though Naruko couldn't see it, Tenten's expression went from worried to gob-smacked. Naruko's expression went from twisted in determined frustration to stunned and she slowly turned.

Koga grinned as he waved the bottle of water at her, looking happier than she had seen him in months, "Welcome back love. Take a sit down, catch your breath and drink some water. You won't get any stronger if you put yourself in the hospital with heat stroke." Naruko accepted the water bottle in numb shock and then Koga disappeared in a blast of chakra smoke.

Tenten snorted and Naruko looked up to see she was grinning, "I knew he couldn't keep it up long. Come on, there's a bench over there."

==Later That Day==

Naruko rifled through the clothes basket at the thrift store. Tenten watched bemusedly, "Really? The thrift store?"

Naruko pulled her head up from where she was almost half buried upside down in the basket of beat up old clothes, "I've been wearing nothing but nice clothes since I met Koga. Really nice clean clothes like I was somebody important. I was nobody determined to be a somebody. I became somebody, but it wasn't somebody I liked. I'm starting over and that means I need my ratty old clothes again. More importantly than that…"

She extracted a jacket from the basket and spun it on with a flourish and a grin, "I haven't worn anything really _orange_ in nearly a year!" Tenten tried not to sweat drop at how incredibly pleased her little sister was at wearing the top half of what looked suspiciously like an orange prison uniform. Then Naruko turned and started rummaging again, "Pants pants pants…" Then she held up a matching pair of orange pants to declare excitedly, "PANTS!"

Tenten almost gagged at the smell and decided it was time to put her foot down, "Naruko! Put those back!" Naruko turned her best pout on her big sister and Tenten countered with her best stern big sister face, "They smell awful and as your big sister I will not allow you to wear something that smells so awful. Besides there's no telling what's _on_ them. You can buy the jacket, but I'm tailoring it to fit you and not look like you just escaped from the local jail. Wearing your favorite color again and shopping at the store where you got your old wardrobe to try and get back to being more like yourself again is all well and good, but don't start so completely over that you completely toss out all the _good_ changes you've made over the last few years!"

Naruko's pout turned thoughtful, "They _do_ smell kinda funky…"

"Kinda?" Tenten asked skeptically. Naruko put them back in the basket with a grimace, "Okay, just the jacket, but I want some T-shirts and beat up sturdy pants like I used to wear. I've been wearing way too many cute clothes recently."

"And I'm modifying that jacket," Tenten declared in a tone that would brook no argument, "It hasn't got a hood, it's way too big for you and it looks like it belongs on a fat smelly convict. I'll use the fabric, but you are still my adorable baby sister, and that means I am not letting you go around looking un-cute. The way that jacket is now, it is most _definitely_ un-cute and that is unacceptable."

Naruko was teetering and then Tenten sighed, _time for the drastic measure,_ "You don't want Koga to come back and see you wearing some other guy's jacket do you?" Naruko's frightened "Eep!" was all the answer Tenten needed. She pulled the smelly tent of a jacket off Naruko and laid it over her forearm, "Now come on. Let's go see about those T-shirts at a different store okay?"

By that evening Naruko was examining herself in a newly made orange jacket that was lined with black fur that had been lying on the table when Tenten and Naruko got home. The fur had been labeled "Naruko's souvenir" and so had immediately been turned into the liner for the jacket. Then they had gotten to the bedroom and had to wonder just how big an animal Koga had skinned to procure _that much_ uniform black fur. The rugs were now black fur, there was a fur blanket on the bed and there had been enough on the table for several jackets.

The first one was what Naruko was trying on then, it was well tailored to hug her torso and extremely warm. Tenten stitched a red spiral onto the back and made a hood out of the apparently water proof orange fabric after she had run the beat up prison jacket through the washing machine three times. At Naruko's insistence, she had also made some very large and numerous small pockets. Now Tenten patted herself on the back as she watched her little sister check out what she had a hunch was going to be Naruko's new favorite item of clothing.

Then Naruko stopped admiring herself in the mirror, turned and pounced Tenten in a flying tackle hug, "THANK YOOOU!" Tenten couldn't help but smile as she hugged her little sister back, no doubt about it, Naruko was back.

 **AN:** _Heeey everybody! Sorry for the long delay on the new chapter. Life's been a tad nuts lately. Anyway, hope you enjoyed, feel free to comment (it really makes my day and makes me want to write more)._

 _Next time we're going to find out what Koga's been up to during the three weeks he's been out of Konoha._

 _Til next time!_

 _Ghost_


	17. Chapter 16: Operation Fix-It

Chapter 16 – Operation Fix It

==That Night==

Tenten raised an eyebrow as she heard the door latch click and felt the door begin to emanate the extra chakra that indicated "Do Not Disturb" was in place.

"Well," she stated calmly, "I don't know how you knew, but it worked."

Koga the cat manifested in the armchair in the corner of her room, grinning an unnaturally large grin for a cat, "I told you it would. I really must commend you on your acting. Even I would've bought it if I hadn't known better. Are you ready for phase two tomorrow? Tsubaki and Chino are champing at the bit to get their two ryo in."

Tenten sighed, "I'm not comfortable with manipulating her like this, you know that right?"

Koga-cat's tail twitched as he continued to grin, "Yep."

Tenten glowered at him, "Then why are you still smiling?"

Koga-cat's grin actually widened, "Because it's _working_."

==Two And A Half Weeks Earlier==

"Okay, everybody's here now, initiating Do Not Disturb," Koga's voice declared from seemingly nowhere as the blinds seemed to pull themselves down and the door latch clicked. Neji, Leelee, Tsubaki, Chino and Tenten looked around slightly apprehensively and then Koga appeared in the sixth chair in the room. He raised his hand in greeting, "Thanks for coming everybody. I'm sorry I can't be here in person, this is just a shadow clone, but I had some very pressing business in Suna that required my immediate and personal attention."

"That's fine, but why'd you call us all here so secretively?" Neji asked with a raised eyebrow. Even for Koga, calling them altogether in the middle of the night for a secret meeting in a tiny room in a back alley was odd. Koga sighed, "Well, you all no doubt know by now that I dumped Naruko today, I thought you might be curious as to why." Leelee, Tsubaki and Neji all started and then chorused, "YOU DID WHAT?!" Tenten looked slightly troubled and Chino nodded approvingly.

Koga smiled thinly, "And that's how you know who's listening to the grapevine. Yes I dumped her as soon as my clone got back from my race to Suna with Guy-sensei. Chino I'm guessing you were already expecting me to?"

"After what she did to you at the hospital I would've been disappointed in you if you _hadn't_ dumped her," Chino declared dryly, "I wanted to beat you up, but you sent my dad on a dangerous mission to Kumo that got him hurt. She did _that_ to you for not sharing your ace jutsu."

"Did what?" Tenten asked worriedly, already not liking where this was going. She knew Naruko had been in a bad mood since Koga disappeared, but she hadn't yet been able to wrangle a solid reason why out of the young blonde.

"What did she do at the hospital?" Tsubaki asked curiously, "Mom hasn't said anything about it." Chino looked at her and then grumbled flatly, "Yeah, I'm not surprised. Koga, do you want to tell them or should I?"

"Oh I'll go one better," Koga declared acidly as he snapped his fingers. The cover flew off a film projector and it turned on, again seemingly of its own accord. "I filched this from hospital security," Koga explained.

The image that flickered to life on the screen was him, bandaged and tied up like a mummy in the hospital bed he'd been in for over a month. It was such a familiar scene to all five of them by now that they were able to instantly recognize it. He appeared to be sleeping peacefully when the door was flung open.

It was a sudden enough entrance that Leelee actually jumped slightly and then all present watched in mounting horror as a blonde demon that they vaguely recognized as Naruko stormed into the room shrieking and then leapt onto the bed and proceeded to mercilessly beat Koga bloody. After a few minutes Neji said quietly, "Turn that off Koga."

Koga paused it and covered the projector before stating grimly, "She went at me like that for _ten. Minutes._ And yes, that _was_ my real body. I'm going to fast forward through the beating to the aftermath when Lady Tsunade got there and I think you're going to understand why she didn't say anything Tsubaki." Tsubaki immediately got pale and Chino laid a hand on her shoulder which made her even more worried.

The cover came off the projector again and showed Naruko sitting fuming next to…god was that really Koga? It looked more like a beaten up wad of hamburger, but the straitjacket and position left little doubt that it was him. Then Tsunade came in smiling. Tsubaki's expression grew steadily more horrified as Tsunade exchanged a few words with Naruko like there was nothing wrong with the picture in front of her, _proudly patted Naruko on the head_ and then strolled over to the bedside before reaching out and…

"NO!" Tsubaki shouted, "NO! DON'T!" Tsunade of course couldn't hear her daughter's future shriek and cheerfully grabbed Koga's mangled mashed up mess of a nose before twisting it ninety degrees to the left. Koga was dragged screaming back into wakefulness an instant before he disappeared out of the bed and the film stopped.

All present except Chino who had been there when it happened sat in sick horrified silence. "If I hadn't had a clone on standby to get me out of that straitjacket, I don't know what would've happened next," Koga said quietly.

"If you could have escaped whenever you wanted, why did you stay put through that awful beating?" Neji asked quietly. Even those who didn't know him well could've heard the quiet outrage and seething disgust for what he'd just seen in his voice.

Koga sighed, "I guess I just wanted to see how horribly off track I've let Naruko get." He put his face in his hands and ran them up into his hair with a frustrated expression, "I. Don't. GET IT. She went from begging me to never leave her a few weeks earlier after the heart ripping thing to _that_. WHAT. HAPPENED? You guys are my best friends and even with a million me's thinking about basically nothing but this for two weeks straight, I can't figure this out." Koga was actually shaking a little he was so frustrated, which was the most even Neji could recall ever having seen him lose his cool. "Anyone wanna help me try to figure out how the exact flying _fuck_ my sweet wonderful girlfriend turned into such a little **monster** and how I'm gonna get her back to being well, _her?_ "

"Um, before that…" Leelee asked, "I'm honestly scared to ask, what's the heart ripping thing?"

"He said he'd die for her if she asked him to and then she asked him to prove it," Chino replied bluntly, " _So he did._ The stupid idiot came within less than an inch of pulling his own heart out just because she'd asked him to. If I hadn't been sitting _right there_ within arm's reach of him, he would've died. Nobody could've saved him without my kekkai genkai and being right there when he started."

She crossed her arms and declared angrily, "This is the most one-sided, abusive and horrific relationship I've ever seen, no, the worst I've ever even _heard of,_ and Koga's getting the worst of it by far." Chino exhaled, "I'm going to give Naruko the benefit of a doubt because you all seem to like her so much and guess that she didn't used to be like this, but from what I've seen of her in the few weeks I've known her, especially the way she treats _you_ Koga? She's the most heartless horrible _bitch_ in the world."

Tenten looked like she wanted to object on her newfound sister's behalf, but one glance at the screen killed any objections she could've had.

Koga slumped back in his seat and couldn't meet anyone's gaze, "I know." He sighed, "If she weren't so incredibly unstable right now, I really would kick her to the curb. Unfortunately, that would probably lead to her going completely and possibly irreversibly off the deep end."

"Hate to break it to you Koga," Chino snapped in annoyance, "But I'm pretty sure what we just saw was _way_ past the lines of _off the deep end._ She beat you into freaking _hamburger Koga!_ "

"Oh no," Koga said quietly, "That's nowhere near the worst that could happen if Naruko loses her mind. Chino, you may not know, but everyone else here I'm sure remembers the Nine Tailed Fox." Everyone in the room stiffened as Koga raised his eyes to meet theirs, "This is S-Class top secret. I could be put to death for telling you, and if I thought there was anyone who would object in these circumstances, I wouldn't."

"Oh my god…" Tenten breathed, "That's why everyone's always hated her…" "And why the Hokage always made time for her…" Neji whispered. "She's the one holding the _Nine Tails_ …" Leelee and Tsubaki chorused in horrified unison.

Chino looked back and forth between them, "Nine Tails? As in the strongest bijuu?" Koga nodded silently and Chino's Ketsuryugan went active in fear, "YOU MEAN SHE'S A TICKING TIME BOMB FOR THAT THING?!"

Tsubaki and Leelee didn't even hesitate to punch her in either side of the head. It was gentle but the message was there in the snapped out fists. Chino wasn't actually hurt, just startled. "She's not a bomb," Koga declared firmly, "the Fourth's seal is incredibly stable and strong. I've examined it myself, as have the Hokage, Lord Jiraiya and every other sealing expert Konoha could get to keep their silence about it. The only way it can get out is if Naruko _lets_ it out. However, the seal was designed to allow her to tap the fox's power so that she can effectively become a super soldier when she gets older. _That_ is where my worries come in," he declared.

"I very much doubt Guy-sensei told any of you," he continued, "But this morning when Naruko found out I had given Guy-sensei the slip, she got so angry that she began to tap the fox's power instinctively with sheer rage. I managed to snap her out of it, but it'll undoubtedly have all the higher ups on high alert. If she gets out of control, then I don't know what they'll do. Since I got Danzo framed for the Kyuubi Incident, and yes I _did_ frame him...for that. Everything else he totally did, but on that, I know who was behind it, I killed them myself and _no_ I am not telling anyone who it was, EVER. So don't ask."

He took a breath, "Anyway, since I got rid of him, I doubt they'll go the really extreme and horrible route, which basically consists of turning her into a vegetable and locking her up in some deep dark cell never to see the light of day again, or emotionally neutering her to turn her into some sort of zombie assassin thing like those poor kids that Danzo had gotten a hold of. However, there are still a lot of horrible things that they _might_ do. I don't think Lord Hokage would allow them to, but if she became a threat to the village, I don't think he'd have a choice."

"So you can't upset her too much without risking her putting herself and everyone else in danger," Tsubaki said quietly, "Now I get why you put up with so much shit out of her."

Silence reigned for several minutes and then Neji asked, "So what do we do? You know her better than anyone, how do we fix her?"

Koga exhaled and scratched his head as he stared at nothing and then after a few moments, "Okay, I've got a plan, but it's not a simple quick fix and I'm going to need all of you to help me with it."

==Later==

As Leelee and Neji strolled away down the moonlit street, their minds on the plan Koga had laid out, Leelee said quietly, "Naruko's never gonna be Hokage is she?"

"With him around?" Neji asked, his Byakugan having already confirmed that Naruko was nowhere in the vicinity, "No. She may get to wear the hat, but he's already calling the shots."

"Are you okay with this?" Leelee asked quietly, "I know Naruko's become something horrible, but should we really be just going along with this? I mean is it right for us to be manipulating her like this?"

Neji was quiet for a moment, "If the circumstances were different, I'd say no. If the circumstances were different though, we wouldn't even be having this conversation because Koga would've already been rid of her and moved onto Tenten, Tsubaki or maybe Chino. He seems to like that straightforward attitude of hers."

They walked quietly for a while and then Leelee asked, "What about me?"

Neji looked over at her, "What about you?"

"You said Koga would've moved on to Tenten, Tsubaki or Chino, what about me?" Leelee asked,  
"Do you think he would've gone out with me?"

Neji blinked and then, "Nope. Not a chance." There was no hesitation in his voice and Leelee immediately turned glowing red and demanded to know what he meant by that. "He knows I'd kill him," Neji replied off handedly. Then he froze as he realized what had left his mouth. Leelee was quiet and then her eyes went as big and round as dinner plates as she blushed utterly crimson.

Six sets of watching eyes and eavesdropping ears variously fist pumped, repressed shrieks of delighted excitement or cursed under their breath. Then Tenten, Tsubaki, Ino and Hinata told Chino and Sakura to pay up.

==Present, The Next Day==

 ** _POW!_** The slap was as loud and clear as a gunshot, and one didn't have to be quick to catch the expression of absolute _fury_ on Tsubaki's face or the throbbing red hand print on Naruko's cheek. "Don't. You. EVER." Tsubaki hissed, "Blame your bad behavior on him. He has been nothing but kind and loyal to you and you have been treating him like _shit._ Even when I didn't know anything, when I was just a _vegetable_ , I knew he cared about you."

She was trembling with outrage as she continued to glare at the very stunned looking Naruko who had just voiced the thought that Koga's spoiling her was what had spoiled her personality. "I have ignored and overlooked and kept my mouth shut about a hell of a lot of the shit you've been pulling," Tsubaki snarled, "I felt like I owed you for helping take care of me when I couldn't take care of myself, but _that. Is over. THE LINE. NOBODY is responsible for you acting like a bitch except YOU. So don't you ever dare even THINK of blaming somebody else, ESPECIALLY the guy who loves you more than his own life._ "

Then she turned a clearly plastered on smile to Ayame, "Miss Ayame, may I please have a to go cup?" Ayame stared at her in shock for a moment and then numbly handed her one. Tsubaki quickly poured the rest of her ramen into the cup and bounced off the stool chirping cheerfully, "Come on Daddy! Let's go to the park!" Jiraiya blinked and then followed, slightly stunned by what had just happened and never more sure that Tsubaki was _definitely_ Tsunade's daughter.

Silence reigned at Ichiraku for a few minutes, and then Naruko asked quietly, "Sis? How long have I been acting horrible to Koga?"

"You've been taking him for granted and underappreciating him for months," Tenten replied calmly before slurping down some noodles, "You've been acting absolutely _horrible_ to him ever since he woke up after that big exhibition fight for the Chinoike Clan. Seriously, as much as he's done for you and you _still_ had to question his affections? If I were him I would've broken up with you right then and there."

Naruko took a second to process that and then she stiffened slightly, "how did you know about that?"

Chino spun into the barstool Tsubaki had vacated, "Well now that would be me. I was curious about you two so I asked around and asking leads to talking which lead to me telling Tenten all about that little heart ripping episode, which I really can't believe you didn't tell her about. That sort of thing tends to rank rather highly on my 'interesting conversation topics' list. Miso for me-so Miss Ayame!" she exclaimed cheerfully before turning back to Naruko.

"Seriously though," she continued with a teasing grin and a wag of her finger, "I had no idea he was such a catch. You'd better start being nicer to him or I will _totally_ steal him from you. Well…" she thought for a moment, "Actually Tsubaki-chan would probably beat me to it…but I don't know how far that would go since if he married her he'd have Lady Tsunade for his mother-in-law…she scares me," Chino added with a little shudder. Then she shook her head and looked at Naruko, "Seriously though, you must not have been paying attention at all to not _know_ he loves you."

"I…I do too pay attention…" Naruko protested feebly. "Oh really?" Chino asked, "then what's his favorite color?"

"Erm…black…" Naruko guessed already getting the sinking feeling that she was wrong.

"Blue," Tenten stated flatly, "The reason he gave me is that it's the same color as your eyes."

Naruko felt like she had been slapped as Chino whistled, "Wow, he's got it bad for you girl. Wonder what it would take to make him like me that way…" she mused to herself aloud, completely heedless of the horrified look on Naruko's face as she realized how very one sided her relationship with Koga had actually been as she prayed that Chino wouldn't find out he had dumped her.

==Meanwhile==

Jiraiya did a doubletake as he realized that it was Koga that Tsubaki had just high-fived in passing before the Koga clone disappeared in a blast of chakra smoke. He pointed after the clone, "Was that Koga?!"

Tsubaki looked at him as if it should be perfectly obvious, "Of course. Koga's everywhere."

"So he can hear us right now?" Jiraiya asked.

"Of course I can hear you Sensei," Koga's voice replied from seemingly right next to Jiraiya's head, "Did you have a question?"

"Where are you would be a good start," Jiraiya declared as he glanced around, trying to figure out where Koga actually was, "When and how you learned my Transparent Escape Technique would be another good one."

"I _still_ can't believe she thinks you taught me that," Koga replied, "As for when and how, I didn't. That's not what I'm using. You'd be able to find me if it were. As to where I am, I'm currently sitting on a battlefield on a continent far to the west. I just finished massacring an army."

Jiraiya and Tsubaki stopped and Jiraiya asked in a stunned voice, "Really? An entire army? How'd you do that?"

"Jutsu, they don't have any of their own so they were defenseless against mine," Koga replied with a laugh, "I am getting some _serious_ hero worship over here. They think I'm a god, can you believe that? Think the chief wants me to marry his daughter, but she's too old and not my type. After this I bet they'll be _totally_ willing to let me sign the leopard contract anyway though."

"Leopard…contract?" Jiraiya asked nervously. Koga seemed like he was nodding, "Yep, found the homeland of summon leopards. Their human tribe, cult, thing…was at war with the jaguars. I say _was_ because there's _not_ a jaguar tribe anymore. Amazing what you can do when you put your mind to it. As of about twenty minutes ago, the jaguar tribe is no more. I just finished laying waste to their city. Don't worry, they were notorious cannibals. They had it coming. Think I'll head north next, hear tell there's some cool desert civilization up that way, so I'm gonna go check it out. Oh, before I forget…"

 _Poof!_ A little potted plant appeared in front of Tsubaki with heart shaped leaves and a small black flower with silver veins. Tsubaki immediately knelt and started examining the flower with the excitement of a botanist, "Oh. My. Kami. It's beautiful Koga!"

"It's the sacred flower of the panther tribe," Koga explained, "Some sort of natural topical steroid. Only their chiefs get to use it, gives them enhanced senses, strength, speed, accelerated healing…It requires some special rituals and what have you that I am definitely going to investigate to see if I can't bring them home with me, but it's also really pretty and I thought you might like a chance to monkey around with it. They said I could have one in exchange for saving their city and axing the Jaguar general plus the entire army backing him. I'm gonna get a look at this nifty metal of theirs after this. It's got some really interesting properties just from what I've seen of it, so I can't wait to experiment with it."

Jiraiya stared at the little plant that had his sweet adorable daughter so enraptured and then shook off his surprise, "Koga, you know you never went to your debriefing with the Hokage right? He's getting kind of impatient about it."

Koga swore lightly and then, "Thanks Sensei, I had totally forgotten about that in the midst of the nose tweaking thing. I'll go get on that."

Jiraiya frowned, "Nose tweaking thing?"

Tsubaki looked up at him as she stood up with her plant tucked into one arm, "Did Mom not tell you either?" Jiraiya shook his head warily and asked if she should have. Tsubaki sighed and looked resigned, "Yes. Yes she should have. Come on, let's head on to the park, I'll tell you on the way. After I finish my ramen, can we get ice cream?"

"Of course we can," Jiraiya replied with a smile. No matter how old she got, she'd never be too old for him to buy her ice cream.

==A Moment Later==

Koga appeared on the ceiling of the Hokage's office and dropped into a seat across from him, "Howdy Boss!"

Hiruzen blinked at him and then set the report he was reading down and steepled his fingers, "So, you finally showed up for your debriefing on the exhibition fight with the Chinoike, as well as your other interventions in their affairs."

Koga nodded and scratched his head in mild embarrassment, "Yeah, sorry. Kinda forgot about it until Jiraiya-sensei reminded me."

Hiruzen sighed, "I figured as much. Before we get started, where are you _really_? I don't believe for an instant that this is the real you."

Koga thought for a moment, "Couple thousand miles west of here. Went to Suna, stabilized their Jinchuriki's seal so she could stop being a raging psycho because of beastly influences on her mind, think all three of the Kazekage's daughters fancy me now, headed on west until I hit the sea, built a boat, went sailing 'til I hit land again. Hopped ashore and started exploring. Been meddling in inter-tribal relations for a few days now. Got a new plant that I gave to Tsubaki-chan, working on a summoning contract and hoping to get some nifty new metal that I've never seen before. I'm finding all kinds of great stuff!"

Hiruzen sighed, "That's nice Koga. Now let's talk about you destabilizing the power balance of the Elemental Nations by massacring an entire Hidden Village."

Koga flinched slightly and then laughed nervously, "Oh yeah, forgot about that…meant to tell you, I ransacked Kumo while I was there and took extensive tissue samples for research and experimentation." Hiruzen's eyes widened as Koga continued, "Ahh…gimme a second." He wiggled for a second while he waited for whatever it was and then held out his hand with a smile. A scroll popped into his hand and Hiruzen could feel the power sealed within it as Koga set it on the desk, "The Two and Eight Tails. If you'd like, I can begin production of clones of their previous hosts to raise as leaf nin. I have enough data from Tsubaki's creation that I can easily replicate the process."

He extended his hand again, "And the seals in this one contain every weapon, scroll and corpse I stole from Kumo. The scrolls are sorted by intel or jutsu, and the fifth seal contains all of Kumo's cash liquid assets and the required information to access the rest." Koga put his hands in his pockets and thought for a moment, trying to recall if there was anything else important he'd forgotten, "I think that's it. Got any more problem people you need me to eliminate?"

Then he smacked his fist into his hand, "OH! Before I forget, the S-Ranked criminal organization Akatsuki! I have names, locations and full profiles on their entire network as well as a brief overview of their currently ongoing operations!" He quickly yanked another scroll seemingly from thin air and set it on the table. He scratched his head and thought vigorously, then he crossed his arms, "Aside from ongoing efforts with my friends to get Naruko's head back on straight since she's been acting out pretty severely here lately and a loud complaint about Tsunade's treatment of her patients, that's about all I've got."

He sat back down and smiled pleasantly, "So, what did you want to talk about?"

Hiruzen stared at the scrolls in front of him and put his head in his hands. He was quiet for a moment and then, "Koga, I'm promoting you to Jonin. I was going to reprimand you for recklessness, but this was clearly anything _but_ reckless." He sat back and looked at the ceiling, "I don't suppose you could broker a more stable peace treaty between the lands of Fire and Lightning to stabilize things and make my paperwork do itself while you're working miracles could you?"

"Peace treaty I can do, paperwork I'm gonna need permission to access your top secret files and stuff. You'll still need to read them but you can have a shadow clone do that while I do the filling them out."

Hiruzen sat bolt upright and looked at the young boy, no he wasn't a child no matter what his physical age, he had to remind himself of that, who was staring at him so earnestly as he calmly declared his ability to make seemingly all of Hiruzen's problems disappear.

"Can you make Asuma hurry up and propose to Kurenai?" "Easily."

Hiruzen sat back and threw his hands up in the air. Then he lowered them and took a drag off his pipe before smirking with a grimace, "HEH." _Jonin? If he's as good as his word I'll be giving him the hat in a few years!_

"You mind if I set myself up a harem with the daughters of the Kazekage and the Tsuchikage's granddaughter plus all the cute girls I have crushes on here in Konoha?" Hiruzen almost choked on his smoke and his eyes snapped wide open as he looked at Koga, once again looking at him with a completely straight face.

"Can I really stop you?" Hiruzen asked in complete seriousness.

"Not really but I thought I'd ask." Koga replied bluntly, "Also, I think Hidden Mist is going to have another civil war in a few months, alright if I get in on that? Yagura's a psychotic bastard and I really REALLY wanna kill him."

"Again, can I really stop you?"

"Not really but I thought I'd ask."

 **AN:** _Yep, Koga's been one busy cat. Leave a comment if you wanna see his adventures abroad gone into more depth on!_

 _Til next time!_

 _Ghost_


	18. Ch17: When You Stop To Think About It

**AN:** _Hey everybody! Sorry it's a little late in the evening, but Happy Halloween!_

 _..._

Chapter 17 – When You Stop To Think About It…

==A Little While Later==

Chino had caught up to them not long after they talked to Koga and Tsubaki had quickly dragged her off for a light spar, the shinobi equivalent of playing tag. Jiraiya now sat on a park bench as he watched his sweet wonderful daughter play around with the girl who was quickly becoming her best friend. His sweet, wonderful, _unrelentingly honest_ daughter who had never told a lie in her life, but had just told him something unthinkably awful about her mother…

Jiraiya turned his gaze to the ground and steepled his fingers over the bridge of his nose. _Tsunade wouldn't…yes she would,_ he admitted to himself as he remembered how she had been when they were younger. _She'd punch him, and scream at him and break his bones herself even when he was in no position to fight back. She never cared about reasons, and if I'm honest…_ he mused, _I'm not sure she ever actually cared about her patients. There's a certain element of desensitization to violence and gore that a combat medic has to have, that ANY shinobi has to have…but it bothers her even less than most._

Then he started musing over when Tsunade had started trying to become a medic. _It wasn't until after Nawaki died…_ he realized, _She never gave a rat's ass about anything other than being able to crush her opponents before that. Then she started lobbying for a medic on every team to keep it from happening again…and then Dan showed up._ Jiraiya's expression darkened. He'd never liked Dan, and not just because Tsunade did. Dan had been a _full_ ten years older than Tsunade, and had swept her off her feet in less than a month. There had been something off about him…something that set Jiraiya on edge.

So Jiraiya had begun to stalk Dan and research him relentlessly. It wasn't out of jealousy, _okay maybe a little bit,_ Jiraiya had to admit even to himself, but it had mostly been because of that bad feeling the blue haired man gave him. It was the same bad feeling that had saved him from stepping on Iwa's pressure activated explosive traps more than once. The same bad feeling had let him know that fateful day that Hanzo was about to erupt from the ground and attack, and it was the same bad feeling he'd gotten right before Orochimaru went rogue. Hiruzen-sensei had taught Jiraiya to always follow his gut, but when Jiraiya had gone to him with concerns about Dan, even he had waved it off as mere jealousy.

Even now, Jiraiya's hands twitched at the memory of what he'd found out when he'd started digging.

It wasn't a well publicized relationship, apparently even Hiruzen-sensei had forgotten about it. It was still public record though, and Jiraiya's blood had gone cold when he found that record. After that, he'd redoubled his stalking and begun to rope in help. There were plenty of people willing to help, old friends who he honestly trusted as much as his teammates if not more, and ironically enough, Orochimaru had been the biggest help. Best friends tended to be that way.

 _Of course, it was probably just selfishness on Orochimaru's part,_ Jiraiya mused now as he looked back on it, _He didn't want Dan mucking up his chances of being Hokage anymore than I wanted the bastard marrying Tsunade._

Tsunade would undoubtedly crush his skull like an egg if she knew, but what was the point of being a master assassin if you couldn't kill a subversive agent without leaving a trace? Once he and Orochimaru had found out that Dan was Danzo's star pupil, it hadn't taken much work to figure out what was going on. Even though Dan had put up a good fight, it was still two to one. Danzo's plans to advance his agenda through his "student" ( _bloody_ **_stand in_** _more like,_ Jiraiya scowled) being Hokage had died that night.

They hadn't planned on Tsunade making it in time to even try saving the son of a bitch. She had been on assignment to the Eastern front, not the west. Then Jiraiya and Orochimaru had had to try carrying on without her, because Tsunade's drive had died that night too.

Jiraiya sat back and looked up at the sky with a frown, _All that trouble and we still lost her._ Then his brows furrowed, _Tsunade never tried learning medical jutsu before she met him...she'd never even expressed an interest in it. She just liked punching things and partying…she scorned every textbook sensei shoved under her nose unless it was related to how to turn things and people into chunky salsa…Even more than that, she HATED hospitals…hated the smell, the clean, the food, the color scheme and the fact that she couldn't have any alcohol while she was there…_ Then something that he'd never realized finally clicked into place over thirty years too late and he sat bolt upright.

 _SHE NEVER WANTED TO BE A MED-NIN UNTIL IT WAS CONVENIENT TO DAN!_

Jiraiya leapt up and called, "Tsubaki sweety! Daddy's gotta go take care of something, you behave and don't break anything! If I'm not back soon you know when you need to be home!" Jiraiya didn't even wait for a response before he took off at a dead run for the hospital, _That explains everything._

==Twenty Minutes Later==

Tsunade froze and her eyes went wide. She looked around at her surroundings. Gulped. Looked again. Jiraiya knew that look. It wasn't one he'd seen often, but he remembered seeing it just the one time during the war when she'd heard Nawaki died. Tsunade was _afraid_.

She looked at Jiraiya and in a voice so soft it was almost a whisper, asked a question that made the heartbeats of everyone who heard her stop for a few beats, "Jiraiya…why am I in a hospital?"

"How much do you remember?" Jiraiya asked, still not quite out of the panic mode he'd raced there in and every instinct in his brain screaming for him to start running. Any time Tsunade was this quiet and not focused on something or sleeping like a rock, it was because she was about to explode like a volcano.

Tsunade raised a hand to her forehead and took a step back, her face twisted in confusion, "I…I remember everything…thirty years…" Then she jerked and looked at her chest like it was a snake coiled on her chest, "Jiraiya, why are my tits the size of watermelons?"

"That's not natural?"

" **HELL NO THAT'S NOT NATURAL!** " Tsunade roared, her face instantly crimson as she slammed her hands together, " **RELEASE!** "

An absolute _EXPLOSION_ of acrid chakra smoke erupted out from her, instantly filling the hospital hallway and causing everyone to gag and cough in surprise. Tsunade swiped her hand and whipped up a small whirlwind that quickly forced the smoke out through the windows, to reveal a very _different_ Tsunade.

She didn't look quite as young, now she appeared to be in maybe her late twenties/early thirties rather than definitely early twenties. Her face was a little more weathered, her eyes were a little bit sharper, the makeup was gone and her breasts had notably been reduced in size to mere double D's instead of the monstrous H's they had been. Most of all though, the expression of absolute _fury_ was still very much the same.

"Jiraiya," she growled as steam started to boil off her, " _Who. Did this. To me?_ "

Jiraiya gulped, _in for a penny_ … "All signs point to Dan. He was planning to use being married to you to bolster his candidacy for Hokage at the urging of his sensei Danzo. I had no idea he'd put you under a genjutsu or I swear I would've snapped you out of it decades ago…" … _in for a pound._

Tsunade started trembling as all the blood drained from her face. Jiraiya stuffed his fingers in his ears as he knew what was about to happen and everyone who saw him did the same even though they didn't know why.

The ear-splitting scream absolutely _shattered_ every piece of glass in the hallway, and even though they'd had their fingers in their ears, those in the hallway with Tsunade when she let out that horrible sound were slightly deafened for a few hours by the scream of rage that rivaled the Nine-Tailed Fox's roar.

==Later==

Tsunade had fixed everyone's eardrums, grabbed Jiraiya by the lapel and dragged him to the Hokage's office. Now here they sat, with Hiruzen looking utterly horrified by what they had just told him.

"A genjutsu to force you to become a perfect wife and poster-girl for the med-nin program?" Hiruzen asked in horror.

"I want permission to use the Edo-Tensei so that I can revive that son of a bitch and rip his dick off, shove it up his ass, beat it out of him and then ram it down his throat while I flay him alive and pour salt, alcohol and the contents of the nearest septic tank on him," Tsunade growled, still steaming with rage.

"Merited but not granted," Hiruzen replied after a moment's consideration, "We don't have any prisoners _that_ despicable."

"Want me to go find one?" My voice echoed from around the room. I could think of a dozen shmucks off the top of my head who I'd cheerfully subject to the apparently horrible death the Edo-Tensei inflicted for the sake of indulging this interesting _NEW_ Tsunade. She had a completely different air about her now, she was like a grown up Tsubaki now instead of a stuffy old grouch ass with a prudish streak.

Tsunade's gaze began to flit around and then she sighed and let some of the rage die down, "Hey Brat."

"Yes ma'am?"

"I'm sorry I tweaked your nose after Naruko broke it," Tsunade declared a little sullenly. It wasn't an apology made in a kind voice, or even one that expressed any intention to reconcile over it. It was however _honest_.

It was obvious from her voice that she was still angry, but the mere fact that she was acknowledging that she had been wrong was a lot more than anyone who heard her would've ever expected from her. She slumped slightly, "I'm sorry I've been such a raging bitch for the last thirty-three years, and I'm sorry I bailed on you like that Sensei," she added as she looked up with her normally fiery golden eyes stormy. She exhaled and looked at the floor, "Jiraiya, I'm sorry I took so long to realize…"

Then her hand snapped out and caught Jiraiya by the lapel so that she could yank him over to her. She looked him in the eye, smiled faintly and then kissed him. Jiraiya almost trembled as he raised his hands to timidly embrace her. It was the softest most wonderful kiss he'd ever had.

When they came up for air, Tsunade finished quietly, "…That you were Mr. Right all along." Then she let him go and tapped him on the chest, each word a new tap as she declared in a tone that would brook no argument, "We are getting married. Sensei will give me away. If we go on vacation for our honeymoon, I am going to gamble and drink like a fish, but we are not going without Tsubaki, and you _will_ shag my brains out all night, every night. Are we clear?"

"God I've missed you…" Jiraiya said quietly as a big grin broke out over his face. Tsunade smiled widely, "Brat, get my daughter in here right now. I want to tell her immediately."

"Hai Lady Tsunade!" POOF!

An instant later, Tsubaki appeared in the office looking very surprised, "Hey Mom, Da…Mom?" _GLOMP!_ Tsubaki was immediately wrapped in Tsunade's arms as Tsunade said quietly, "Yeah. We haven't met properly yet. I'm sorry you had to deal with that other bitch. She wasn't me." She sat back on her heels and brushed some blonde hair out of Tsubaki's very stunned face with a smile, "You want to go get some ice cream and we'll get to know each other?"

"Uh…sure…" Tsubaki replied in a kind of shell shocked voice.

Tsunade picked her up, set her on her hip with one hand and caught Jiraiya by the hand, "Come on then!" she declared with a smile before shooting a teasing grin over her shoulder at Jiraiya, "Daddy's buying!"

Then they were gone and I allowed my clone body to grow to full size, sitting with my feet dangling off the edge of Hiruzen's file cabinet, "Sooo…that just happened."

"I haven't seen her look that happy in over thirty years," Hiruzen said quietly.

"She actually looks like someone I can believe Jiraiya-sensei fell in love with now," I mused before grinning, "I didn't think our taste in women was _that_ different." Then a shadow fell over my face and it quickly twisted itself into a rictus grin, "Sooo…ya mind if I go piss on Dan's grave right quick?"

"Again, can I really stop you?" Hiruzen asked with a resigned but somewhat amused grin that cemented this as our new running gag.

I grinned from ear to ear, "Not really but I thought I'd ask!" I cackled as I tipped my clone off the file cabinet backward and let it disappear in a puff of smoke while the two clones posted in the graveyard went to find that grave.

==Later==

I became aware of her as I was relieving myself on the grave of Dan Kato. She appeared seemingly out of nowhere leaned against the gravestone behind me. She was slightly taller than me, and her frame led me to guess that she was young. Not much older than me if size were any indication, but I knew it was entirely possible that she could just be short. She was slim in the way shinobi who took their jobs extra seriously were, the ones who ate healthy and exercised every day. Not necessarily Guy-sensei training, but ANBU perhaps. The clothes screamed ANBU badass, so that was my guess. I could see the strength in the whipcord tight muscles beneath her thin black and gray jumpsuit. She had breasts behind that ANBU looking breastplate, not big ones but if she were in her early teens as I suspected she was then it was likely that they'd grow.

Her hair was cropped short neatly at her jaw and that was about all I could tell about her looks. She was wearing a featureless black mask that covered her entire face and had slightly reflective white lenses in the eye holes. They weren't reflective enough to give away her position if she was stalking someone in the dark, but they were just reflective enough to conceal her eyes.

Plague Sentience casually landed on her and began attempting to collect data…only to be promptly snuffed out upon contact with her. I raised an eyebrow and declared without turning around, "Well, you're quite an interesting one aren't you? I've never seen stealth gear of that high a quality. You must be either very well funded or very well trained…more likely both. Are you here on business or pleasure?"

She didn't answer. She didn't even twitch. I raised an eyebrow, "Not a talker eh? Understandable. Most assassins and spies aren't that chatty."

She raised her hand towards me and I frowned as a sphere manifested above her palm. _Kekkai Genkai._ _Not one I recognize._ _Plague Sentience._ My micro clones swarmed the sphere and were instantly obliterated. Ordinary Shadow Clones wouldn't have relayed memories as they were absorbed, but my micro clones were a live feed, not a report back. "That's an interesting ability," I mused aloud, "automatic chakra absorption. I'm guessing you've got a layer of it all around your body."

She lowered the hand and the sphere of chakra absorbing darkness dissipated. We were both quiet for several moments and then the House Dittoes relayed what they had found. I quietly zipped up my pants as my mind raced. After a moment I said quietly, "Hello Rei. I understand. You can count on me."

Rei disappeared in that effortless and untraceable vanishing jutsu and a chilled breath escaped me.

"Let the games begin," I muttered.

==Later==

Anko Mitarashi did not disturb easily. Anko prided herself on her ability to keep her poker face even when faced with the most disturbing and disfigured corpses, the one good thing she'd gotten out of being Orochimaru's student. Now though, as she was faced with the scroll nearly as thick as her leg and lined with seals barely as wide as her eye, each containing a body according to Lord Third, Anko found herself growing slightly uneasy.

"So…how many cemeteries were upended for the contents of this scroll?" she asked, half joking and half hoping that the vast multitude of bodies she was about to examine were in fact the result of grave robbing.

"None," Lord Third replied quietly, "As you may have heard, every man, woman and child in Kumo was recently massacred."

Anko felt her blood run cold. Kumo was a lot bigger and a lot _stronger_ than Konoha. "Who the hell…?"

"Our newest Jonin," Lord Third answered quietly, "He _was_ a mere Academy Student, but his genius in the field of ninjutsu allowed him to infiltrate, massacre and ransack Kumo singlehandedly. Even more impressive is that he did it without leaving his hospital bed while preventing Tsunade from even realizing he was expending enough power to do it. From what I've heard, he didn't even have to squirm around much to do it."

Anko thought for a moment as that sank in, "It's that kid with the Typhoon Release isn't it? I know it's strong, but this is…" For all that she hated her former sensei, Anko had been a very good student. She was currently one of Konoha's foremost experts on kekkai genkai, and research thereon, hence why she was a Tokubetsu Jonin at the ripe old age of eighteen and the one Hiruzen had called for assistance with sorting and researching the bodies that Koga had collected. She was very well aware of what Typhoon Release was, as well as how it was supposed to work, but she had no idea how this was supposed to be able to happen.

"Koga has an extremely powerful jutsu at his disposal which allows him to perceive and attack anything or _everything_ within his range," Hiruzen answered quietly, "He is also far from a child. He revealed to me that thanks to his extensive abuse of a certain forbidden jutsu that his Typhoon Release lets him use to the fullest potential, he has managed to squeeze over a century of learning and experimentation into the last few months. He is every bit as brilliant as Orochimaru, and quite possibly even _more_ dangerous due to his creativity and access to the jutsu he created which allowed him to exterminate and ransack Kumogakure in a single afternoon."

Anko stared at him and then lowered her gaze to the scroll as the color drained from her face, "He did all this _in one day?"_

"He actually asked me for guidance on what to do with the rest of his life now that he has mastered such an unthinkable power," Hiruzen declared after a thoughtful puff of his pipe.

"What did you say?" Anko asked nervously.

"I suggested he take some time to himself, read a book and get laid," Hiruzen replied bluntly.

Anko blinked as her brain struggled to process that the revered Third Hokage who she personally very much looked up to as an absolute genius and a good man and leader, had just said that. Then it clicked that he had in fact definitely just said that and Anko's growing horror suddenly became mirth as she nearly fell from her chair cackling.

Then a voice spoke from seemingly everywhere in the room at once, "For the record…" Anko sat bolt upright as she immediately stopped laughing in terror. If someone was close enough to speak so softly and be heard, then they were more than close enough to kill you. "I didn't actually kill any of the kids," the voice declared, "I simply relocated them using memory wiping seals. A few here, a few there…most of them I brought here to Konoha, I strongly recommend another good evaluation of the orphanage and adoption systems…but I did toss Suna and Taki a few bones. No kekkai genkai kids, I kept all of those for us, but I like Suna and Taki, so I sent them a few decent recruits. I don't expect any of them to present a threat, and if they do…" a malicious chuckle resonated throughout the room, "I'm _always_ watching."

Anko's eyes darted around, trying not to panic as she attempted to discern the source of the voice. Then the voice chuckled, "Oh don't worry Anko-sensei, you won't find me. You see, I'm everywhere, so there's really no way to find me because even while I'm everywhere in the room, I'm also not there at all."

Anko's eyes widened and then she exhaled, "Is this some kind of genjutsu? How the hell are you doing this?"

"Should I tell her?" the voice asked lazily.

"I trust Anko," Hiruzen replied simply.

A black clad form suddenly appeared on the ceiling above Anko in a little *POOF* of chakra smoke and dropped to the ground in front of her before rising. The boy bowed slightly, "Koga Kurohyou. It's a pleasure to meet you Anko-sensei. I understand we had a teacher in common."

Anko's blood ran cold as that registered with her, "What?" _He couldn't have…_

Koga seemed to smile behind his mask, "Orochimaru has no idea that he's taught me so much, and he'd likely be horrified to learn how much of his knowledge and research are in my possession. He'd be even more mortified to learn that the keys to his goals are so very and blatantly within his reach despite his inability to see them. The dots are all there, I'm honestly a little baffled that he's never connected them. It really makes me wonder if someone messed with his head the way… that…" his eyes went wide as he trailed off. He was quiet for a moment and then went pale, "Oh fuck…"

He turned slowly, "Lord Third, you don't think Danzo would've…"

Hiruzen went very still as the possibility settled in over him, "If you find him, _check_."

"Yes sir," Koga replied quietly.

==That Evening, Amegakure==

Konan grimaced as she discarded the bloody liner. That time of the month reminded her every time that the children she had wanted to have with Yahiko would never be more than a long gone day dream. She stepped into the shower and exhaled softly as she let the hot water wash over her. As much as she loved how safe Nagato's rain made her feel, it didn't change how cold and dreary it was. As much as her Paper Body made her powerful, it didn't change the need to maintain her physical fitness, and as much as she had been doing her daily training every day for the last twenty years, her muscles still ached from the way she pushed herself as Jiraiya-sensei had taught her to.

It wasn't a pronounced ache, if left alone it would fade in a few hours with some rest. That didn't make feeling her muscles loosen and relax in the hot water any less pleasant. _Some things never change_ , Konan mused as she turned her back into the stream and let it gently beat against her spine with a little sigh of contentment, _I hope hot showers are one of them._

Then her eyes cracked open slightly as she once more turned her thoughts to the way the Akatsuki had become since Yahiko's death. _Are we even really a peace organization anymore?_

Certainly none of the members were peaceful. Kakuzu was a greedy homicidal bastard, but he was also a very clever man, a stupendously formidable shinobi, and possibly the only bookkeeper in the world who could've singlehandedly righted Ame's toppling economy. Sasori was gruesome, but his intelligence network was unrivaled. Deidara was just plain _bonkers_ , but there was no two ways about his strength and skill in demolition. Then there was Kisame, _the Monster of Kiri indeed_ , Konan mused as she thought about the massive brute of a swordsman's vicious glee in killing, _we couldn't have asked for a more formidable enforcer._ Orochimaru had been a valuable asset, but his unabashed and blatant desire to rip Nagato's eyes out and play with them had led to his rapid defection.

Then there was the real danger of the bunch, Zetsu. No matter how Konan thought about it, she just couldn't understand the plant man's motives, and _that_ was terrifying. His idea to recruit powerful missing-nin to strengthen Hidden Rain had been a stroke of genius, and his idea to steal the nine Bijuu to bring peace through unassailable force had a certain tempting glow about it, but why had he come to her and Nagato? _It must be because of Nagato's eyes and that creepy looking statue he can summon…_ Konan mused with a frown, _But how does Zetsu know so much about it?_

Then she became aware of something. There was chakra in the room. Chakra that wasn't hers. It wasn't Nagato's either. Konan reached to turn off the water, her eyes wide with fear. Anyone that could sneak up on her that easily was dangerous, and she was completely unarmed aside from her jutsu, which were currently inactive. She began to form a hand sign and a small cute voice emanated from seemingly all around her, "I'm not here to hurt you."

Konan froze midsign and then, "Why would I believe that?"

"Because if I were I would've just killed you rather than leak enough chakra to let you know I'm here," the voice replied, "I've been here all day. I do apologize for peeping, but you are extremely beautiful." Konan blushed as the voice continued, "Anyway, I'm here to talk. Would you mind if I whisper? The walls have ears."

"What do you mean by that?" Konan asked warily, "This is the Tower of God, the most secure place in Ame which is the most fortified of all Hidden Villages. Speaking of which, how did you get in here?"

The voice chuckled and then seemed to speak quietly from right in her ear, "That is what I came to warn you about." Konan froze, how close was the intruder? She turned and cautiously probed the shower around her, "Ventriloquism?"

The voice chuckled, "I guess you could call it that although I've cast far more than simply my voice. I've cast my very presence across a few nations to speak with you this evening. It's a new technique, special to me. If Nagato is the God of Rain, then I guess this power of mine makes me a god as well, not sure what I'm the god _of,_ but surely I count."

"That's a rather bold statement," Konan declared with a little heat at the assumption that whoever this was could beat Nagato, "And how do you know about Nagato?"

"You mean aside from Sensei telling me about the three orphans he trained in Ame and thought dead twenty years ago? He's probably going to be quite upset when he finds out you never tried to contact him."

Konan's heart skipped a beat, "What do you mean?"

"He said he received a message that all three of you had bit the dust," the voice replied airily, "We recently rooted out a treacherous fellow by name of Danzo Shimura, I suspect he had something to do with it. Anyway, that's all rather beside the point. As I said, I'm Jiraiya's newest student. He's got a real knack for picking out monsters like us doesn't he?"

Konan scowled and the voice laughed lightly, "Oh my that's a grumpy face!" Konan suddenly realized that whoever it was could see her and covered herself with her hands as she glanced around and tried to figure out his vantage point. The voice started laughing, "Oh it's a little late for that! Don't worry, I finished drooling a few minutes ago. I wouldn't have let you know I was here if I wasn't ready to get down to business. Speaking of, it's time I did."

"You're probably a bit curious about Zetsu," the voice declared cheerfully. Konan stiffened slightly, _Can he read minds?!_ "Yeah I know about him, probably more than anyone alive except himself," the voice continued in a darker tone, "You should be very wary of Zetsu. Don't talk, just listen. I wasn't kidding when I said the walls have ears. His Wood Release allows him to create living clones of himself that can meld into and move through the earth and walls. I don't know the limits of his ability, but I wouldn't be surprised if there are two or three of the pasty bastards hiding in the walls right now listening to us."

Konan felt a chill run down her spine despite the hot water still pounding against her back.

"You're probably wondering about how he knows so much about the Rinnegan and the Bijuu," the voice continued, "It's because he was around when the last wielder of the Rinnegan was."

Konan's mouth went dry, _The Sage of Six Paths?_

"Yeah _that one,_ " the voice continued, seemingly reading her mind, "Zetsu was made by the Sage's nemesis, the mother of all chakra known as the Rabbit Goddess. That creepy statue Nagato can summon? That's what's left of the monstrous form she fought the sage in. The sage stripped her power away and split it into the nine Bijuu after their battle. If the Bijuu are collected and stuffed back into the statue, then the Rabbit Goddess will be reborn and the world will be plunged into an eternal slumber. That is Zetsu's goal, his sole purpose to exist. He's spent the last several thousand years trying to force the creation of another Rinnegan through the pain and suffering of humanity. Now that he's succeeded in unlocking it in Nagato, all he needs is the chakra of the Bijuu to turn Nagato into a perfect host body for the Rabbit Goddess's rebirth."

"I can tell you're scared," the voice declared in a calm and reassuring voice, "But don't worry. I already have a plan to deal with the Rabbit Goddess in motion, and I'll take out Zetsu as well."

"Why are you telling me all this?" Konan asked, unable to keep silent any longer.

"Well _mostly_ so that you won't muck it up unintentionally," the voice declared bluntly, "The other reason is because I want you to understand why collecting the Bijuu is a really horrible idea."

"You don't say," Konan muttered.

Then the voice chuckled, "So, three things. Number one, you should come by Konoha sometime soon. Sensei's getting married, having you two show up will be a wonderful surprise for him."

Konan started slightly, "Jiraiya-sensei is getting married? To who?!"

"Lady Tsunade," the voice replied with what seemed like a smile, "Yeah he finally caught her. Now then, on that note, did I hear right about a little bow-chicka-wow-wow between you and Yahiko before he died?"

Konan's smile for her former sensei died a swift and painful death as her scowl returned, "What of it?"

"Since Nagato's done such a nifty job preserving the body, I can make the child you would've had with him a reality," the voice replied nonchalantly.

Konan's heart _stopped_ in shock, "What?"

"Yes, you heard right," the voice replied, "Through the miracles of science and jutsu fuckery I can bring that child into this world if you'd like."

"That's impossible…" Konan breathed.

"Said every clueless civilian who saw a shinobi water walk _ever,_ " the voice snarked, "Sensei only caught Lady Tsunade because _their_ daughter was born though the procedure I'm offering before they'd ever even had sex. Trust me, I know what I'm doing. Of course, now that you've insulted me by insinuating I can't do it, when you get to Konoha I'll introduce you to a living clone of your younger self that I'll be keeping as my maid and snuggle buddy. _Just to prove I can!_ "

Konan blushed crimson and ground out, "Snuggle. _Buddy?"_

"Yes, I'm only nine years old. I can't do much more than snuggle right now."

Konan's brain broke a little bit at that, "What?"

The voice cackled, "I _love_ peoples' reactions when they find that out! Now then, onto point number three…" Konan could feel the malevolent grin as the voice's tone shifted, "Let's talk world domination."

...

...

...

 **NEXT TIME:**

 _It's a partyyy in Ko! No! HAAAAAA!_

 _It's a party in Konoha!_


	19. Chapter 18: Koga's Lost Days P1: Goodbye

Chapter 18 – Koga's Lost Days Pt1: Goodbye

…

==A Month Later - Somewhere Far West of The Elemental Nations==

…

Arkantos, the most valorous and celebrated Admiral of Atlantean Navy, glared at the horizon. Even though he could not yet see their destination, he knew the accursed minotaur pirate Kamos was laughing at him from his fortress on the small island they had tracked his fleet of small pirate vessels to.

It was bad enough that the damned bull had had the audacity to mount a disturbingly effective attack the very shores of mother Atlantis, but to add _supreme_ insult to injury, he had stolen the trident right out of the hands of Lord Poseidon's statue that watched over the harbor he had invaded. Arkantos's fingers drummed out an agitated tattoo on his shoulder as he scowled at the spot where he knew Kamos's island would be breaching the horizon soon, _He will pay._

Then he was startled from his musing by an… _unnatural_ wave racing across the sea. _No,_ he thought, _that's two waves…a ship? I've never seen anything move that fast except…_ His eyes widened, "Prepare for battle! Sea monster off the port bow!"

Then suddenly the twin waves that marked the beast's rapid passage banked and headed straight for the ship. Arkantos took a ready stance, if this creature thought it could ram _his_ ship and get away unscathed, it was _sorely_ mistaken. His eyes narrowed and his muscles tensed as the form barely visible through the spray drew closer by the second. Three hundred meters…two hundred…one hundred…fifty, forty, thirty, _twenty, TEN…_ BONK.

Arkantos blinked at the sudden light impact as the spray petered out not four meters from his ship. Then a voice sighed happily from overhead, "Ah man…you guys showed up just in time! I was about to run out of energy!" Arkantos and every man aboard snapped their gaze to the peak of the tireme's face like prow, and more importantly to the strange figure perched on top of it.

Then Arkantos's eyes bugged out as he took in the trident hanging loosely in the strange figure's fingers. The strange figure was balanced on one foot atop the curled top of the prow, its other leg dangling lazily while its owner crouched, effortlessly balanced like a bird.

Then the strange figure hopped down and Arkantos saw that the strange figure was a young man, barely chest high on him, no bigger than his young son Kastor. The boy had dark hair with an undertone of vibrant red, his eyes, though bright and friendly, were a disconcerting orange, and much of his face and form were concealed beneath a dark mask and cloak, with baggy clothes beneath even the cloak. The trident Arkantos saw, was made of well-wrought Celestial Bronze, not dissimilar at all to his own spear, but its three prongs were made of a strange black metal that glinted with an ethereal purple light.

"Are you a messenger of Lord Poseidon?" Arkantos asked warily, mentally preparing to hit a knee if this was indeed a messenger of Atlantis's patron deity.

The small figure tilted his head, _definitely a he,_ Arkantos thought, _at least if the voice and what I can see of him are anything to go by…_ "Poseidon?" The small figure asked, "Have I found my way all the way to Greece?"

Arkantos blinked, "Ah, no, no, we are currently in the great ocean between Atlantis and Greece. I am Admiral Arkantos of the Atlantean Navy. May I ask your name?"

"Oh of course!" The small figure chirped, "My name is Koga Kurohyou. I am traveling the world currently from my homeland far to the East. Did I hear you say you're from Atlantis? _The_ Atlantis?"

"Um, yes?" Arkantos replied, _How many Atlantis's were there?_

The small figure stilled with a look of wonder in his eyes and then, "Which way?" Arkantos jerked a thumb over his shoulder and the small figure, Koga, suddenly made a strange gesture with his fingers. A burst of smoke later, an exact replica of him burst into existence before popping some sort of ball into his mouth and diving overboard before disappearing in another burst of spray.

"Don't worry," Koga told Arkantos with a smile, "He's just going to look around. I've heard Atlantis is amazing and I _really_ want to see it, but I don't have enough energy right now to go haring off on a random direction with my physical body. That clone on the other hand I can maintain indefinitely, so it'll be able to go see your city for me. On that note, I _would_ like to see it in person if you happen to be heading back that way any time soon?" He finished with an inquisitive look.

Arkantos coughed lightly into his hand, "Ah yes, well there is the small matter of my business in these waters to attend to first, and after that Lord Poseidon has made himself quite clear through various omens that I am to go to Troy to break the siege there."

"I ARRIVED IN TIME FOR THE TROJAN WAR?!" Koga exclaimed excitedly.

Arkantos blinked, "In time?"

"Magic Admiral," Koga declared with what had to have been a cheeky grin, " _magic_."

Arkantos took that declaration in stride. It only earned a raised set of eyebrows, "Ah, so you are a spirit with oracular powers?"

"Kinda sorta not really," Koga replied, "I am what is called a shinobi in my lands. Here it would be called a mashup of assassin, spy and warrior magician. Mmm…" he thought for a moment, "Think of my profession as the clever, sneaky, vicious lovechild of Hermes and Athena. We kind of roll their two spheres of influence into one."

Arkantos mulled that over for a moment. So, he was claiming to be not only a messenger and craftsman, but also a thief, a strategist and a warrior, on top of the strange ability to fly across the surface of the water he had just demonstrated. "And what business do you have in Atlantean waters?"

"Well I _was_ sightseeing," Koga replied, "But now that I know that you're on your way to go join the Trojan War, I'm going to go join in and have some fun."

Arkantos mentally added 'bloodthirsty mercenary' to the list, "I see. Will you require any sort of payment for this aid?"

"Give me food and a chance to meet some of Greece's most legendary heroes," Koga replied cheerfully, "Do you have _any idea_ how legendary this war is going to be? This is one that I can _guarantee_ will be spoken of for thousands of years to come! A chance to get _my name_ in there with the likes of Achilles and Odysseus? _SIGN ME UP!_ "

Arkantos thought about that for a moment, "What about Menelaus and his brother Agamemnon?"

Koga thought about that for a minute, then another minute, then, "Isn't one of those the one that Helen ditched in favor of that Paris guy because he was too old for her?"

Silence reigned for a full minute. Then the laughter started. Even Arkantos couldn't stop a grin from splitting his features as he welcomed Koga aboard. _Even if he's not good for ANYTHING else,_ Arkantos grinned, _The look on that blowhard Agamemnon's face will be PRICELESS._

…

==Forty-Two Hours Later==

…

Arkantos and his men gaped in shock from the hillside as Koga tore through the pirates' base. The boy had raced ahead of them once they'd located the pirate settlement, moving so fast that there was nothing but an after image and a plume of dust where he'd been.

Now he was little more than a blur of motion followed by flames and great fountaining sprays of blood as buildings seemed to collapse of their own accord in his wake. Even the leaping dog headed monster-men that Kamos employed, which Arkantos had seen fell many skilled fighters in his day, often taking at least five or six men each to kill, were casually speared out of the air and slammed into the ground like ragdolls…assuming he didn't just rend them apart with a wave of his hand at a distance.

Then a great beast that had many legs and the claws of a crab with the torso of a man and a long whip like tail erupted through the side of a building…only to be set on fire by a plume of flames casually blown from the boy's mouth. As the strange monster turned to flee for water to extinguish the flames consuming it, Koga casually leapt upon its back and jammed his trident through its back.

Koga rode the beast to the ground and then leapt off before slamming the butt of his trident into the ground and unleashing a mighty wave from thin air to wash away the remaining pirates on the street. He rose and twirled his trident back to a ready position before frowning, then his voice sounded in Arkantos's ear, "Oy! There's a minotaur with a scimitar heading up the cliffs on the east end of the base! I think that's the trident you're after that he's heading towards!"

Arkantos flinched in surprise and then Koga's words registered with him, "COME ON!" he shouted, "KAMOS IS THIS WAY WITH THE TRIDENT!"

Fifteen minutes later Arkantos watched with a scowl as Kamos rode away on the back of an immense lizard like sea creature. Then Koga spoke from beside him, "You want me to get him?" Arkantos started slightly, he hadn't noticed the boy walk up, "Um, can you? He's out of arrow ran…ge?"His eyes widened as the boy raised his trident and pointed it at Kamos's fleeing form.

The reason his eyes widened was because the trident was glowing with lightning. Koga grinned at the minotaur, " _BOOM."_ A second and a flash of light later, Arkantos had to blink stars from his eyes and shake the ringing from his ears to see Kamos lying spread eagled on the sea monster's head, a charred and smoking hole in his back.

Koga set his trident on his shoulder with a smug grin, "Who needs arrows when you can shoot lightning bolts?"

Arkantos stared at the boy in dumbfounded shock, "Are you a demigod?"

Koga thought about it, "Eh…don't think so." Then he wagged a finger with a smug grin, "If you believe the Panther Tribe down in Wakanda though, I'm a full blown God of War and Destruction. Buuut that's just the sort of thing that happens when you singlehandedly lay waste to an entire city in a matter of hours." He shrugged, "No biggy."

 _No biggy? NO BIGGY?! LAYING WASTE TO AN ENTIRE CITY IS NO BIGGY?!_ Arkantos could only gape for a moment and then a smile started to spread across his face. He turned to his men, "MEN! THREE CHEERS FOR KOGA! HE'S GOING TO WIN US THE WAR AT TROY!"

Koga turned and looked at him and his men in surprise as they cheered and then started sniggering before turning and pointing his trident to the horizon, "ONWARD TO TROY!"

==Two Weeks of Sailing Later==

"Arkantos! By the gods, I did not expect mother Atlantis to send her finest admiral to fight for me!" The stoutly built man in the feathered helmet and well crafted bronze armor exclaimed as he and his entourage walked up on the Atlantean party making camp.

Arkantos turned and bowed slightly with a smile, "Gracious words King Agamemnon." Then he turned to the giant of a man strolling up. The giant of a man was clad in bronze armor, the pelt of a bear (complete with bear face) like a hat, and a shield that was over half as big as he was. Arkantos grinned, "And look at this, Ajax! I'm surprised to see you still drawing breath!"

The giant of a man boomed out a laugh, "These Trojan dogs keep trying my friend! Who did you offend to get sent so far from home?"

Arkantos shrugged with a smile, "Someone had to come and help you put an end to this."

Ajax's expression twisted into a rueful grimace, "Helen's held behind their walls. We've had little luck breaking through."

Agamemnon smiled confidently, "We're about to change all that. You've arrived just in time for our final push Arkantos. We need you and your men to go with Ajax and his to set up a camp to the east, but be careful. The Trojans have scouts in that area. When you are ready, we will begin preparations for our assault." Arkantos and Ajax nodded their acknowledgement, and Agamemnon turned to go. Then he paused.

Agamemnon turned with a confused frown on his face, "Also, Arkantos, why do you have such a weak looking child with you?" After a second, realization dawned on his face although it only increased his confusion, "Surely that can't be your son Kastor? You always said Kastor was shaping up to be a great warrior, but that boy looks like he could barely lift a sword, let alone use one."

Arkantos felt a cold sensation settle in his gut as he realized who Agamemnon was talking about, and then the wind started to howl around them as Koga quite literally stormed past him and up to Agamemnon, an ominous purple aura flickering around him like a bonfire.

Agamemnon's men tried to get in between them, but Koga simply snapped his fingers and they disappeared, only to reappear falling and screaming to the ground from high in the air around their king. Koga marched right up to Agamemnon, aging with every step until he was grown man nearly as large as Ajax with glowing red eyes and wild hair like the mane of a lion that seemed to ripple with crimson fire. The ground twisted and writhed in his wake, flames leaping to life in the grass as the wind howled like an animal possessed.

He raised his hand and his trident appeared clenched within it, points at Agamemnon's chest while his aura roared around him like a ten meter wide purple inferno of pure _fear_ , "I am Koga Kurohyou, known in the far south as the God of Destruction. I came here not for your war, but for my own entertainment. Insult me _or_ my strength, and I will _have_ my fun, _by counting the heads of your men_ _ **as I rip them off and toss them onto the burning remains of your fleet.**_ "

He let his threat hang in the air for a moment before giving a blood curdling smile, "Do I make myself clear, King Agamemnon?"

Agamemnon was ghostly pale, but to his credit, he didn't take even a step back and only nodded stiffly, "Yes. My mistake, I beg your pardon for misjudging you based upon your youthful appearance. I should have known that no weakling would be allowed to sail alongside Arkantos."

Suddenly the terrible aura was gone, the flames went out, the wind and earth stilled and Koga was a young boy again with his trident resting easily on his shoulder. "Well I'm glad we could work that out!" he declared with a grin, "And I'm glad you've got the guts to back up your authority. A lesser man would've gone to his knees groveling for mercy with that much killing intent leveled at them, assuming they didn't just faint. Now that we've gotten that out of the way, pleased to meet you King Agamemnon. I bow to no man, but I will shake your hand!" He extended a hand with a warm smile.

Agamemnon warily shook the hand, "Nice to meet you too, um…" _how exactly was one supposed to address a GOD?_ "…Your Eminence."

Koga laughed, "Please, call me Koga! If you must be formal then nothing more reverent than 'Lord' Koga at the very most! My people do not stand much on ceremony, there is no need for flowery phrasings. If you are my friend, then friends we shall be!"

Agamemnon blinked and idly wondered if this was the same being that had just threatened to annihilate him and his entire army, "Ah, yes, friends. I would like to be friends Lord Koga."

"Then friends we are King Agamemnon! Friends we are!"

…

==The Next Day – Konoha==

…

Tenten's hand snapped out to cover Naruko's mouth before her younger sister could put her foot any more thoroughly in it. " _SHUT UP!"_ she hissed. Koga, or at least one of his clones, had just finished singing an exceptionally beautiful duet with Tsubaki for Jiraiya and Tsunade's first dance as a married couple. The wedding had gone beautifully and would be remembered forever by every girl and woman present as a perfect example of what a dream wedding was supposed to be like.

Then Naruko had said something _unbelievably_ stupid as she glowered at how incredibly happy Koga and Tsubaki looked up there. The chemistry between the two was visible even at this distance, you didn't even need the perfectly harmonized singing to figure out how easily those two fit together. One would have to be utterly _blind_ to not see it, and Naruko was clearly not blind. _STUPID_ on the other hand, Tenten was having to start to seriously question.

Naruko frowned and pushed her sister's hand away, "Why? It's _true._ You know as well as I do that as soon as I'm a good enough shinobi to not embarrass him, he'll come crawling back to me!"

" _Wow_. You're an idiot," Chino declared after a moment.

If looks could kill, then the glare Naruko turned on Chino would have absolutely immolated her. "Excuse me?" Naruko asked in a deadly quiet voice.

"You know him better than _anyone,_ " Chino mused with an unsympathetic little smile, "and yet you so easily forget the most important thing there is _to_ know about him."

"And what might that be?" Naruko all but snarled.

Chino sighed and looked around at her friends, "Say it with me everybody…"

" **KOGA KNOWS EVERYTHING.** " Tenten, Chino, Neji, Leelee, Sasuke, Itachi, Izumi, Sakura, Ino, Hinata, Kira, Shikamaru, Choji and Tsubaki chorused.

Naruko flinched and then felt chakra radiating from behind her, setting her nerves on edge and causing sweat to pop from every pore. " _Including,_ " Koga declared dryly from right behind her, " _Every word you say._ "

Naruko turned shakily and ghostly pale, "Eh, heh-heh, hey…Koga…" She knew immediately that she had crossed a line…a very, VERY **IMPORTANT** line if the way Koga's Sharingan was blazing along with his aura in the absolute scariest manner he could was anything to go by. If she had to guess, the fact that his hair was waving in the air like an anemone and seemed to be on fire, something she had never seen before, meant that he was probably angrier than she had ever seen him.

"And that brings us to the second and third most important things that you should very well know about me," Koga declared as he raised a hand with two fingers, "Number two, I'm damn good at what I do and I have no small amount of pride in myself and my abilities, meaning I don't _crawl_ **TO ANYONE**." He didn't quite shout that, but he was clearly having a difficult time restraining himself. "And Number _THREE,"_ he growled as he extended his third finger, " **IS THAT I AM A** ** _VINDICTIVE SON OF A BITCH_** **.** "

Naruko immediately began to fear, maybe not for her life, but close. The fourth important thing to know about Koga was that he kept his word. If he promised pain? There was _going_ to be PAIN. All caps, no questions, **PAIN** **.**

"As such," Koga continued as he crossed his arms and his fingers started to drum out a very rapid irritated beat on his bicep, "You may recall a few months ago now, I never actually _said_ I was dumping you." Every heartbeat present skipped in shock as Koga went on, "I just stopped talking to you in an attempt to get your head back on straight. Apparently, my efforts were in vain!"

He had a very unpleasant sort of grin, grimace…whatever it was it wasn't a nice look, on his face that was visible even through his mask and a lethal look in his eyes, "So since you apparently think so little of me as to labor under the delusion that not only would I 'crawl back to you', but that my affection is so cheap as to be lost simply due to a lack of skill at something when that was so clearly _not_ the problem, there's nothing for it but to make it official. Tenten, I am legitimately sorry to have to do this, **_but_** _._ "

He snapped his fingers, "House, Authorization Primary Resident 0003, Koga Kurohyou, code 720615, _Eviction and Black List,_ **Naruko Uzumaki**." He let that hang in the air for a second before adding coldly, "In case that wasn't clear enough: Naruko, _you are no longer welcome in my house._ Your belongings will be waiting for you on the front step. Tenten, yours too since I imagine you'll be wanting to move out with her, although _you_ are still welcome to visit whenever you like. I'll leave a map to some suitable accommodations for you both."

Then a thin smile broke over his face, "In other news Naruko, _I modified your seal._ It is now _quintuple_ layered, over a hundred times as sturdy, and virtually impenetrable and unbreakable. You will never have to worry about it again."

For those in the know, that was almost as big a bombshell as Koga officially and publicly dumping her. For those who had been in on "Operation Fix-it" and knew the REAL reason Koga hadn't long since kicked Naruko to the curb, it was even more shocking as they understood that he had found a way to do it with _complete impunity_.

"Also," Koga added with a legitimate smirk, "I made Jonin a month ago, so I won't be returning to the Academy. I'll still hear and respond if anyone wants to talk, but for now? Tata." Then he snapped his fingers again and disappeared in a burst of particularly acrid chakra smoke.

 _THWUMP._

Everyone's gaze moved from the spot where Koga had been to where Naruko was now passed out on the floor foaming ever so slightly at the mouth. Tsubaki sighed, "I'll go get Shizune-onee-chan."

She turned and walked away quickly, trying to hide the large smile growing on her face. Chino quickly made her excuses and took off as well, an equal smile on hers. _KOGA'S SINGLE AGAIN!_

…

==Not Long After, Coast of Troy==

…

Arkantos and Ajax both flinched in surprise as a burst of wind roared out from their apparently divine comrade, bringing the whole company to a halt for a moment as everyone wondered just exactly what had their most dangerous asset so on edge.

It was Ajax who broke the silence, looking down at the small figure that was fuming with apoplectic rage, "You alright there little guy?"

Koga's hair waved like grass in the breeze for a moment as flames seemed to lick through it, then he exhaled angrily, "No, no I'm not. Let's keep moving, I can walk and talk." He set off forward again, the rest of the company quickly settling back into step to follow him.

"Do you have a lover back home Ajax?" Koga asked, then without waiting for an answer, "I'm sure you either do or did Arkantos given that you have a son, so I'm guessing you remember your first big quarrel with her. Suffice to say I just had an _explosive_ quarrel with mine and now she is no longer mine." His fists clenched, "Needless to say, I really REALLY hope that some of those Trojan scouts show up soon because I _really_ want to kill something right now."

Arkantos and Ajax exchanged a look and Arkantos raised an eyebrow at his old war buddy, _Do you want to ask?_

Ajax made a face, _I don't feel like this is really my area of expertise. You've got a kid and you were married, why don't you do it?_

Arkantos jerked his head at Koga, _He let you get away with calling him little, I think he likes you better._

Ajax sighed, "So do you want to tell us what happened?"

Koga apparently required very little prompting, "She's the daughter of one of our greatest heroes, the man who was our great general and leader. She's as close to a princess as my people have, but because her parents died the night of her birth battling a great monster which would've laid waste to our city, she was brought up without knowing that, and her identity was kept as one of our people's greatest secrets so that none of her father's enemies would try to hurt her.

"When I took her under my wing a few years ago," Koga continued, "I brought her into my home where none can intrude or eavesdrop, and I revealed her heritage to her before starting to do everything I could to ensure she had the inheritance and life she would've had were her parents still alive." He exhaled bitterly, "My resources and cunning were more than enough to ensure that she had everything she had ever wanted. I even managed to reunite her with long lost elder sister. It must've seemed almost like every fond dream she'd ever had coming true all at once. Unfortunately, it all went to her head. She became arrogant, spoiled and lazy. She thought she was entitled to my affection and resources, not even just that but the throne and the key to my powers as well, things which she is not even close to being ready for."

"When she found out that I would not give her the key to my godlike powers," he continued grimly, "She became angrier than I have ever seen her. It was like some evil spirit had come over her. She flew upon me in that terrible rage while I was ill and injured and attacked me with the viciousness of a rabid animal. I escaped and fled the city to try and understand what had happened to her. I have not been back although my presence still watches over our lands, and I can still interact with anyone there whenever I please. I fooled one of my teachers, a man whose strength, speed and fighting skills are among the greatest in the world, into believing that I was with him. I had challenged him to a footrace to a neighboring land and back to disguise my escape you see."

"When he returned to our city I was still watching from afar," he sighed, "And my beloved rushed out to greet me, but it was not going to be a fond welcome. When she realized I had not returned and tricked our teacher, she offered insult to our mentors who are as close as family to me, and nearly unleashed her own latent catastrophic power in a fit of rage. I struck her and called her a spoiled child to snap her out of it, asking her what had happened to the kind wonderful girl I had fallen in love with. I then proceeded to avoid her lest she grow angry with me again or slip back into the lethargic arrogance that had been poisoning our relationship, and with the help of our friends I thought we were making progress towards turning her back into the kind soul I had fallen in love with."

He took a deep breath and paused to look at the sky, "Today our greatest mentor, a mighty sage and warrior who is a great hero in our land, the man who taught her father and who has been offered the honor of leading our people twice now, was married to the love of his life, another of our greatest heroes. Their daughter is one of my dearest friends and her joy at her parents' union warmed my heart no end. It was supposed to be one of the happiest days in the history of our people."

Koga exhaled bitterly with a weary look in his eye, "Then my beloved revealed that she has not changed at all in the two months our friends and I have been trying to turn her back into the girl I fell in love with. I was left with no choice but to expel her from my home and end our relationship." He took a deep breath, "Now I can only hope that I have made the right choice and that perhaps her sister and our friends will be able to set her back on the right path."

He looked up at Ajax, "Long story short? No Ajax, I am _not_ alright. I feel like a mighty flame that has burned out and had its heart carved from its chest."

Then the thunder of hooves announced the arrival of a dozen Trojans on horseback and Koga smiled thinly, "Oh goody, something for me to kill…"

…

==That Night==

…

The Atlantean and Greek forces made camp in a clearing between the woods near the coast. Arkantos, Ajax and Koga sat around a camp fire and Arkantos looked over a map of the area that their scouts had put together. "If we're to build a decent force to storm Troy then we'll need a base here. This village to our southeast should provide adequate man power and resources."

"You mean we haven't got enough with the army we've already got?" Koga asked as he tore a chunk from the shank of venison he was eating.

Ajax shook his head, "No, this is to be a surprise attack. If we draw enough numbers from the front lines on the north side of the city to pull this off, then the Trojans will know something's up. We're going to have to use my small force and whatever you and Arkantos brought along with whatever conscripts we can train. Thankfully my forces are very good at training conscripts. We'll also need siege engines and mythical beasts. We can't expect the Trojans to not have our targets fortified and guarded by beasts of their own, so we'll need a lot of slaves to gather resources and build the siege engines. This town to the southeast that Arkantos pointed out should have plenty of resources and men for both conscription and labor, we add the one south of that and we should have an abundance to put towards our goals."

Koga nodded, "And our targets are…?"

"Two Trojan ports," Ajax declared before pointing to spots on the map, "One to the north of our current position, and one to the east. We burn those ports and the Trojans will lose their strangle hold on this stretch of sea. Once that's done, we can land a battalion here on the back side of Troy to light into them and complete our siege's encirclement, something we've had a virtually impossible time doing up 'til now since we couldn't land enough forces here to hold a position. The other thing is that those two ports are very close to the Southeast Gates of Troy, close enough that intercepting loads of supplies going into the city is next to impossible. The ports are nigh untouchable from the sea due to over half the Trojan fleet sitting in and around them, but they won't be expecting a land-based attack since we were able to sneak to shore here."

Koga nodded, "I see." He rose, "I'll go check them out, make sure that there aren't any nasty surprises waiting for us." Then before anyone could protest his going alone, he was gone in a breath of wind. Arkantos and Ajax swapped a look and then went back to planning.

…

==The Next Morning==

…

Arkantos and Ajax were greeted when they stepped out of their tents with the sight of Koga sitting at the campfire, guzzling something from a mug in one hand and going over a sheaf of strange white papyrus with his other hand.

Ajax moseyed over and looked over Koga's shoulder, "Whatcha got there?"

"Maps of the area including details of the ports and towns we intend to take as well as the garrisons of all four and information on the likely available reinforcements from within Troy's walls." Koga bundled the sheets of strange white papyrus into a stack and handed them over his shoulder to Ajax, "Tainted a few wells with gas, set a few fires and left a few of my infinite eyes and ears to spy while I was there. Those ports had a _very_ bad night."

"Leave the siege engine production to me," he continued, "There are ample resources in this area for me to construct an army's worth of war machines in a few days. I hope you don't mind a little strip mining."

Ajax looked at him in surprise, "You can do that?"

"Easily," Koga replied as he knocked back another drink of whatever was in his mug. After a hearty drink he looked up at Ajax, "You guys focus on getting us our man power, I'll handle the armaments."

…

==A Week Later==

…

Ajax looked over at Arkantos as they watched the twentieth of Koga's siege engines erect itself from the earth. The strange, crawling, turtle-like machines had proven their worth when the first one Koga had made collapsed a sizeable portion of a cliff in a single shot of its odd barrel like weapon. Now Koga was stripping a massive section of earth bare, tearing up a mile wide strip at a time as the earth flowed and refined itself midair to form his machines.

"Where exactly did you find this guy again?"

"He popped up out of the ocean on my way here," Arkantos replied numbly.

Then Koga stood before them, "Okay, that should be more than a plenty of tanks, and I've managed to craft enough ammo to level the ports a dozen times over. I'm gonna start working on arrows next, have you guys put together an archery range yet?"

"Ehm…"

Koga looked at them flatly, "I'm going to excuse your slowness based on the fact that you have no magic users among you other than me. Would you like _me_ to hasten the construction?"

"Yes," Arkantos and Ajax chorused glumly, both feeling increasingly unnecessary as Koga's uncanny power became more evident by the day.

Koga nodded, "Very good, I'll have full facilities ready for use by nightfall. Did we want to try capturing anyone alive out of those ports, or is this just a full-on burn it all to the ground blitz?"

Arkantos and Ajax exchanged a look and then Arkantos asked, "Um, _can_ you capture them alive?"

"It'll take me a little while to devise a knock out gas and build gasmasks for our troops but yes," Koga replied, "Burning it all to the ground and making a massacre of it will be easier and cheaper."

"How much easier and cheaper?" Ajax asked.

"I can deploy my tanks as soon as tomorrow morning if we just need to destroy them," Koga replied, "And if I'm not trying to do anything but flatten those ports then I won't even need an army of back up. Ten of my tanks to each port will be more than a plenty to reduce them entirely to rubble."

Ajax and Arkantos exchanged another look, "Can you knock down the walls of Troy with them?"

"I'll need to make some extra high power armaments to take them out entirely," Koga replied, "Buuut…" A stone the size of his fist manifested in his hand and quickly etched itself with glyphs and lines that neither of the commanders recognized. Then Koga turned and hurled it at the cliff he'd been using for target practice with his tanks, a burst of wind ferrying it at incredible speeds to the cliff over a kilometer away. The cliff seemed to roar in anguish as a massive force tore through it and brought it crumbling to the ground.

Koga jerked a thumb at it, "Yeah I can do it, but we'll still need the army to sack the city. I start shooting into the city and there won't be enough left to sack. Even my anti-personnel weapons won't leave much intact."

"Anti-personnel?" Arkantos asked warily.

Koga responded by holding up an arrow, "The reason I asked about the Archery range is because I can make arrows that will multiply at the height of their arc. Every archer I arm with one of my arrows will be able to fire enough arrows for a hundred archers in an instant, or even more if I want. If I feel like it, then I can even make those arrows explode and fling knives in all directions into the enemy's ranks hard enough to punch through any armor they might have. These arrows amount to nothing less than a storm of death to be unleashed upon your enemies at will."

He noted the uneasy looks on Ajax and Arkantos's faces and declared bluntly, "Make no mistake, if my weapons are put to use, then this will no longer be a war. It will be a one sided _massacre._ The amount of death I will unleash is strictly up to you, but I promised to help you end this war, and end it I will." He smirked and looked at the arrow in his hand, "This is actually the first time I've experimented with the manufacturing of weapons. Before, I simply tore through my enemies with my powers. For that you have my thanks, this is turning out to be an incredibly valuable learning experience about just what all I can do."

Ajax and Arkantos exchanged a look and silently agreed, _We must never ever draw his ire._

…

==Two Days Later==

…

To say that Koga had gotten impatient was an understatement. Once his tanks had been completed Ajax and Arkantos had noticed that he fairly vibrated with excitement to put his new weapons to use. They had finally agreed to delay no longer and now they each stood over a burning crater that had once been a port. Koga had cloned himself and was now bouncing and dancing with delight over the success of his weapons at both sites.

Not even realizing it, Ajax and Arkantos both laid a hand on the boy's shoulder with ashen faces and in unison voiced the same thought, "Perhaps you should refrain from using those? I know you're a God of Destruction, but this…this is a bit much."

Koga pouted but agreed. The soldiers with them breathed a concerted sigh of relief, the hellscape in front of them was going to haunt more than one man's dreams.

When Agamemnon arrived at the head of an army three days later, his jaw hit the ground upon seeing the obliterated crater that had been the port. Upon learning that it had been entirely Koga's doing he grabbed the boy up and danced around declaring him his new best friend, making many lofty promises of rewards fit for a king on his euphoric high as he saw the war that had raged for ten years now finally drawing to a rapid close in his favor.

 **…**

==A Few Days Later==

…

Arkantos and Koga strolled up to Agamemnon and the bow toting man in general's armor with him. The utterly giddy grin that had been making itself right at home on Agamemnon's face since the destruction of the Trojan ports widened, "Lord Koga! Arkantos! Join us! You know the famous Odysseus surely?"

Koga pulled up short, a look of shock on his face, then he covered the remaining distance in an instant, a grin visible even through the mask that covered the lower half of his face as he extended a hand, "The greatest diabolical mastermind in all of Greece? Hades yes I've heard of him!"

Odysseus, Agamemnon and Arkantos blinked at Koga's blatant use of the God of Death's name as an expletive, but Odysseus took it in stride and shook the hand, "I am flattered. Your reputations precede you as well Lord Koga, Admiral Arkantos."

Then Koga turned to Agamemnon, "The messenger said you were ready to start the siege proper?"

Agamemnon nodded with a grin, "Yes! Thanks to the power of your weapons I believe we can finally bring this interminable war to an end. The current plan is for you Lord Koga, Odysseus and Arkantos, along with your forces to start the siege and bring down the walls. Then, once the walls are down, Ajax and the army he's leading will storm in fresh and wipe out the defenders, then my brother Menelaus and I will take our army to storm the royal citadel while the rest of our forces begin the sack of the city and keep any remaining defenders occupied."

Koga nodded, "How many have we got here?"

Odysseus thought for a moment, "Counting the hundred men I've heard that you and Arkantos have brought with you from Atlantis, we have about two hundred present. Not enough by a long shot. We have enough priests and slaves here though to summon probably two dozen great beasts within the next two weeks."

Koga frowned, "You people keep talking about summoning beasts, but I've yet to see it happen."

Odysseus blinked, "Really?"

Arkantos nodded, "His weapons made such short work of the Trojan ports that we didn't even need them. If I understood him rightly though, he won't be able to aid us quite so much without similar results on the very city we intend to sack."

Odysseus gave him a look and then draped an arm around Koga's shoulder, "Well come then young Koga, let us show you how we summon our great beasts of war from the gods."

Two hours later, Odysseus gaped in shock as Koga summoned a minotaur alone and with ease in a fraction of the time it would've taken to beseech its creation from the gods. Arkantos laid a hand on his shoulder with a sagely nod, "You get used to it around him."

Koga turned to them and jerked a thumb at his new bull-headed servant, "How many of these do we need, and do we have anymore seals like the one that summoned him? I'd like to branch out."

"How many of those can you make?" Odysseus asked in a hollow voice.

Koga thought for a moment, "Eh…depends on how long I have. By my estimate, I'd say about fifty if I spent all day on it and did nothing else. I would need the sacrificial flesh though, that transformation seal's powerful, but it _does_ need something to work with."

Agamemnon turned and shouted at his soldiers, "GET ALL THE MEAT WE CAN LAY HANDS ON IN HERE! _RIGHT NOW!_ "

Koga gave him a wry bemused smile before turning to the head priest who was gaping at him, "So priest, got anymore of those seals you can show me?"

"Um, we would need to devote the temple to Lord Dionysus or Lord Apollo before they would allow us to summon one of their creatures here…"

"What do we have to do?"

"GET MATERIALS IN HERE TO SACRIFICE TO LORD APOLLO AT ONCE!" Odysseus roared.

Koga nodded, "Works for me. Hey Odysseus, why Apollo over Dionysus?"

Odysseus turned a patient smile on Koga, "Because young Koga, Lord Apollo will charm open the earth to create a passage to wherever we ask if we devote a temple to him, and his blessing upon our archers will maximize the effectiveness of those marvelous arrows of yours that Agamemnon was telling me about."

Then there was a flash of light and they suddenly found themselves looking at a woman clad in greek battle armor, helmet on, a shield on her back and a spear in her hand resting on her shoulder as her fingers drummed an agitated beat on its shaft. What got Koga's attention though was… "LADY ATHENA!" "Temari?" The fact that she looked (and sounded) _exactly like Temari of the Sands._

Athena, for of course that's who she was, glared at Koga, "Who?"

"You look just like a dear friend of mine," Koga explained after quickly recovering his wits, "Although I'm guessing from the way that everyone else is currently grinding their heads into the floor looking liable to soil themselves in terror of your presence and the fact that they called you Athena, that you are the legendary goddess of wisdom, battle, crafts, and a lot of other important stuff?"

Athena flipped the blonde tresses that protruded from beneath her helmet and they turned a chocolatey brown along with her eyes, "Better?"

Koga pinched his nose to stem the blood flow as he took in the gorgeous visage before him, "How did Paris screw up _that one_?"

Athena took a second to process that and then blushed with a smile, "Oh, um, thank you. However I still must demand that you explain yourself in…"

"WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU MEAN PARIS SCREWED UP?!" Another voice screeched. A flash of light later, Koga suddenly found himself face to face with a shockingly gorgeous and very irate woman with a ghostly pale complexion, long snow white hair and opalescent eyes that glimmered with all the colors of the rainbow as she glared at him.

Koga blinked, "And you must be Aphrodite. I apologize if I have given offense, but clearly as you are both able to change your appearances however you please, there can be no correct answer other than that it is a complete tie. No matter how subjective beauty is, it does not change the fact that attempting to judge physical beauty among those who can change their appearances on a whim is a futile and ridiculous endeavor."

"He has a point," Athena mused.

Aphrodite straightened up and turned a flat look on her, "I don't want to hear it from you."

Athena simply rolled her eyes and Koga continued, "Also, clearly Paris was an idiot who lacked any sort of foresight. His choice to give the apple to _you_ Lady Aphrodite, has given rise to a war which will result in the utter decimation of his homeland and has already resulted in his own demise as well as that of many of his brothers, and I highly suspect that Lady Hera made his married life miserable. Had he chosen Lady Hera, then he would've been guaranteed a loyal wife, albeit with an undoubtedly loveless marriage and probably the worst luck in war the world has ever seen, example, our current situation. Had he chosen Lady Athena, then he might've lived to an old age, been victorious in enough battles to make him a hero rather than the bane of his people, and still been able to produce as many children as he wanted through concubines and whatever loveless marriages he arranged for himself. Hence the _smart_ choice would've been what Zeus did, pass it off to somebody else to avoid offending any of you. Failing that, call it a draw, as none of what you three represent can alone make a happy life should the other two hate your guts."

"Should even _that_ fail," Koga continued, "he could ask you if it is not proper for a man in love to view the woman he loves as the most beautiful, ask Hera if it is not proper for a woman to be allowed to be called the most beautiful on her wedding day even if it might not be objectively true, ask Athena if it would not be unwise to offend two out of three, then lob the apple to the groom and tell him to give it to his wife. Even simpler than that, he could simply ask you who the woman you were offering him was and had the apple delivered to her as you yourself would've said that she was the fairest! If offending two out of three is inevitable, then he should've chosen Athena to have his back in battle and get all the cleverness he might've needed to dodge whatever you and Lady Hera could throw at him."

Athena was preening and utterly glowing with pleasure at Koga's deductions and Aphrodite looked like she was about to, yep there went the immolating flames. Koga stood there for a moment gazing at the incensed goddess for a full minute before snapping his fingers and snuffing the flames out. Koga rolled his shoulders and smiled politely, completely unscathed, "Nice try, but I'm quite immune to such things."

Aphrodite and Athena, and indeed everyone who saw it, gaped at him in shock and then Koga shrugged, "I truly mean no offense Lady Aphrodite, and please bear in mind that it was _never_ truly a contest of beauty to begin with, but a contest to see who could offer a man the best bribe. The man in question being an idiot was just a quirk of fate. Truly I do not believe that _any_ man could resist either of you, and I honestly pity that poor sod Paris a bit for having to choose between such incredible beauties."

He shrugged and met her gaze with a smile, "I myself am no exception. Now that I no longer have a lover waiting for me at home to hold my loyalty, I'd fall all over myself for either of your affections. Just do not ask me to choose between you as I have no desire to offend either of you. Actually…" he mused, "Lady Aphrodite, I once again mean no disrespect, but please don't attempt to entice me. I'd rather not incur the wrath of Hephaestus, Ares and whoever else might be offended by my accepting such an advance. I _like_ being able to make things and kick ass, so I'm definitely not stepping on _their_ toes while I'm on their turf. I don't know if they could muck with me better than that little fire you just threw at me and I don't want to find out."

"Who in the world are you?" Aphrodite breathed, still in no small amount of shock that he'd shrugged off her best attempt to incinerate him so lightly.

"I am Koga Kurohyou, known in the land of Wakanda as the God of Destruction," Koga replied calmly, "I have come to this land to aid my new friends the Greeks in ending the Trojan War."

"Purely a title I see," Athena mused as she strode over to examine Koga more closely, "While you do indeed have power worthy of a god, your physiology is quite different from ours, or that of any other deity I've ever encountered."

"How so?" Koga asked.

"We gods are innately in tune with the energies of the world," Athena explained, "the power of nature courses through our very being, granting us our godly powers and eternal lifespans. You do indeed have power comparable in nature to a god of storms, but you are not in tune with the power of the world as a true deity would be."

Koga took a second to process that and then, "Oh! You mean like this?" He activated his senjutsu seal and Athena and Aphrodite's eyes both went wide as they sensed the nature chakra racing through him and mingling effortlessly with his already near boundless energy.

"How. Are. You. _Doing that?"_ Athena asked in shock.

Koga shrugged as red markings erupted around his eyes, "It's a technique my people have learned from the wisdom of magical toads, snakes and slugs. Only the greatest warriors among my people can learn to use it, but as you no doubt can tell, it increases our power to, shall we say _godly_ levels?" he explained with a smirk, "For most, it can only last a short time and it takes great concentration to achieve this state, but through some secret seals I devised, I have gained the ability to do it whenever I please for as long as I please. Innovation is rather my forte you see."

"I have never in my life regretted my decision to be an eternal maiden," Athena declared after a moment, "Why are you making me regret it?"

Koga was quiet for a moment and then, "Does that include butt sex and making out?"

Athena and Aphrodite stared at him in shock and then Aphrodite began to howl with laughter as Athena blushed crimson and began to stammer incoherently.

"Alternative means of deriving pleasure also involve sensory linking techniques for vicarious sex through a stand in, mutual masturbation, and good snuggles," Koga declared with a sagely nod.

Athena, goddess of wisdom, battle, crafts and numerous other important things, promptly fainted, her mind thoroughly blown. Aprhodite, goddess of love, beauty and really good sex, shamelessly rolled around on the ground, clutching her gut and cackling her perfectly shaped posterior off.

Another flash of light heralded the arrival of not one but _two_ gods. A hunchbacked man with a limp whose arms and face were pockmarked with burns, and a straight backed man with closely cropped hair and sculpted muscles in battle armor and a cape.

"For once, we actually agree," the straight backed man declared, "You are a most interesting demigod. Should you ever ascend to full godhood, we will hold a feast in your honor on Olympus."

"We look forward to seeing more of your work and antics," the hunchbacked man added, "Please continue to be entertaining, and we thank you for respecting our," he shot a look of loathing at the straight backed man, which was replied to with a stuck out tongue, " _contested_ relationships. We will take these two home now."

So saying he hobbled over to Athena and picked her up as the straight backed man helped a still giggling Aphrodite to her feet. Then, just as they started to glow, Koga realized who they were and called, "Lord Hephaestus! In my country when someone has a leg that has healed crookedly, we rebreak it and set it so that it may heal properly! I don't know if it will help, but I hope it will!" A look of surprise was visible for just an instant before the four Olympian gods disappeared in a flash.

Then a tapping foot made the presence of a fifth known behind Koga. Koga turned and was met with the angry visage of the Queen of Olympus. Koga snorted with a grin, "And you look just like a grown up version of sweet little Hanabi, albeit with a meaner look in your eye. Let me guess, Queen Hera?"

Hera's response was to slap him with a handful of lightning. Koga staggered and then straightened as he shook off the voltage before raising an unimpressed eyebrow, "I'll be honest, with your reputation, I was expecting ice."

"What. Exactly. Is _THAT_ supposed to mean?" Hera snarled, doubly incensed by the way her lightning bolt had failed to even really phase the imprudent demigod.

"How much have you been fucking up Heracles's life again?" Koga asked dryly, "I've never met the guy, he may be a complete ass who rather deserves a degree of misfortune, but still. You started when he was an infant if I heard right. Simply because your husband cheated on you? The same husband who if I heard right left you with no choice _but_ to marry him by raping you and has been a notorious womanizer his entire life? Suffice to say I think your anger is both misdirected and disproportional, and Heracles is _far_ from the only victim of your jealousy isn't he?"

" ** _YOU DARE QUESTION ME?!_** " Hera snarled.

Koga simply gave her the most unimpressed look he could, "Shall I go ahead and insult you to your face?"

A blast of light later Koga was a toad. A blast of smoke later and Koga was once again directing an unimpressed gaze upon the Queen of Olympus, "I thought we already established that these things _do not work on me._ " Koga looked over at the bearded man idly watching the scene, who Koga noted bore a striking resemblance to a bearded version of Kakashi, "Would that be Zeus I spy?"

The King of Olympus beamed at being recognized and puffed his chest proudly, "Yes! It is I! The mighty Zeus!"

Koga inclined his head in greeting, "Nice to meet you. I must ask though," Koga jerked a thumb at the impotently fuming Hera, "Why'd you ever marry _her?_ "

"Good boobs!" Zeus declared with a grin and a thumbs up.

"GOOD BOOBS?! **GOOD BOOBS?!** " Hera shrieked, " ** _YOU MARRIED ME FOR MY_** ** _BOOBS?!_** _"_

"Also you said I couldn't," Zeus replied unrepentantly, "And you should know that I can't resist a challenge."

Koga rubbed his temple with one finger as he saw Hera about to explode at her husband, "Why don't you two just do the world a favor and go get a divorce? You're the god of law and the goddess of marriage, have yourselves a good grudge bang and a kid called 'divorce' and then just go your separate ways! You can hook back up and shag whenever and not have to worry about each other's affairs anymore."

They both froze and looked at him in surprise, "What's a divorce?"

"Nullification of the marriage," Koga explained, "You both agree it's not working out and dissolve the marriage contract, then you go your separate ways and try to find someone new to love. Honestly, you two are _so_ not a happily married couple, divorce is really the best option for you two and everyone involved. I've only just met you and I can already tell that you two are almost as bad a match as Aphrodite and Hephaestus. Clearly Hephaestus would be happier with Athena and Aphrodite would be happier being free to love whoever. You people jump off into these oaths and marriages of your way too recklessly. Haven't you ever heard of dating?"

"What's dating?"

Koga walked over to a column and bashed his head through it. Then he turned around largely unscathed and pulled out a chart and a pointing stick, "OKAY HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS 101!"

…

==Several Hours of Divine Therapy Later…==

…

The newly appointed God of Destruction and Restoration waved a cheery goodbye to the many denizens of Olympus who had come to hear his thoughts and counsel as they disappeared in a grand burst of light. Then Koga turned with a sunny grin to his Greek friends who had also been taking notes throughout his lecture, "Well then! Now that all that's settled and I've got permission to use those beasty making seals, who wants to go sack Troy?"

…

==A Week Later==

…

It said a lot about the confidence the Trojans had in their walls that the army Koga led towards their front gate elicited no more reaction than it did. There were a round dozen of the enormous magical war robots known as Colossi, each more than strong enough to tear down buildings with ease, along with fifty minotaurs and fifty cyclopes, each strong enough to defeat half a dozen humans alone.

Each general was flanked by two fire breathing chimeras, and all twenty of Koga's tanks that he had made to attack the Trojan ports were rolling into position. There were no less than twenty five brontosaurus like monsters with five heads of razor sharp teeth each. This was simply the vanguard.

Behind this titanic amount of force, which would've been enough to decimate any city or army it was unleashed upon, were no less than sixty thousand Greek soldiers marching in step with each concerted step making the air itself seem to shake.

All of this merited only a double line of archers across the top of the Trojan walls and a few ballista being readied. There was a bored sounding war horn. Koga almost didn't need Plague Sentience hear the Trojans groaning in exasperation that the Greeks were at it again. _Well,_ he thought, _Time for a shake up._

He grinned as he leapt off the shoulder of the Colossus he was riding and flew down to the ground. He raised his hand and the whole army stopped. Koga tucked his hands behind his back and grinned evilly as Agamemnon and Menelaus rode up. He nodded in greeting, "King Agamemnon. King Menelaus." He gestured towards the gate, "Shall we?"

Agamemnon and Menelaus dismounted their horses and flanked Koga as he strode towards the gate. They stopped about half a mile from the massive walls and Koga gestured for Agamemnon to step forward. Agamemnon did so and Koga snapped his fingers before whispering, "Your voice is now thunder."

Agamemnon nodded his thanks and then turned to the wall, " **TROOOOOOOOOJAAAAANS!** " Even he almost jumped a little as his voice roared from seemingly everywhere at once, including all throughout the city of Troy. Agamemnon quickly recovered though and continued, "For ten long years we have hammered at your walls, and I will not say that you have not put up a good fight! Today however it ends one way or another! You may surrender now, return to us my brother's wife and forgo any further resistance, and there will be a minimum of bloodshed!"

"OR!" He continued, "You may spurn our mercy and history will forever remember this as the day that the city of Troy was burned to the ground and its people massacred and enslaved! Surrender! Or feel our wrath!"

A proud voice barked back, "Ha!" Then a moment of surprised silence later, King Priam of Troy answered, "You bay like a dog Agamemnon, but as always you lack the bite to back up your barking! Troy will not fall this day or any other! For the thousandth time, take your fleet and go home! We will not surrender and you will not break us!" A cheer rose from the throats of all the Trojans and Koga was certain he saw at least one of the archers on the wall mooning them.

That archer was immediately electrocuted into a smoldering corpse.

Koga grinned at Agamemnon, "Now?"

Agamemnon grinned right back, " _NOW._ "

Koga snapped his fingers. The walls of Troy… _disappeared._

They didn't implode, they didn't collapse or burst into flames or shatter like glass. They simply…vanished. In its own way, that was possibly even more terrifying.

Koga grinned as the Trojans that had been on top of the wall fell screaming the several hundred feet to the ground. A sheaf of papers appeared in his hand, each containing a section of wall, "Sealing complete."

"IN CASE ANYONE MISSED IT," Koga's voice thundered through the now defenseless city, "YOUR WALLS HAVE JUST BEEN _REMOVED_ FROM THE FACE OF THE EARTH. THIS WAR ENDS, **_NOW! CHAAAAAAAAARGE!"_**

To say that Agamemnon's promise of a massacre was made good on would be an understatement.

 **IMPORTANT STUFF BELOW**

 **AN:** _Hey everybody, sorry for the long delay on this chapter, wasn't quite sure where to go with it and I recently moved. Upside is that I'm a lot happier in my new location and thus I'll probably be in a good mood to write more often now. Yay!_

 ** _Now I've got a plan._** _This is the first chapter of what's going to be Koga's most major character development arc as up until this point he's been a bit…static. Yes he's grown exponentially in power, knowledge and skill, but personality and character wise, he hasn't really changed at all since he arrived. The closest thing he's had to personal development is deciding to take care of Naruko, falling in love with her and then realizing she's become a little monster._

 _So now our hero is going to, well, become a hero! For any fans of the game_ _ **Age of Mythology**_ _, you have my full permission to fist pump, squeal with delight and express your joy in many various ways because yes, that will be at least the first leg of Koga's journey now that he's left Wakanda (yes for those of you who hadn't guessed, as confirmed in this chapter the Summon Leopards are the same as Wakanda's panthers, and Koga's trident is indeed tipped with nothing less than high quality Vibranium). After that, who knows, but it will be quite a journey for Koga and he will be learning quite a lot._

 _Konoha won't be completely out of focus though, as with this chapter, we will periodically see little glimpses of what's going on there, and several characters are slated to make appearances periodically throughout this going-to-be-rather-extensive arc._

 ** _On that note, I'd like to explain Naruko's well…bitchiness._** _To put it simply, yes. It really IS mostly Koga's inadvertent doing. Thanks to him, Naruko now knows who she is, she knows about the fox, and thanks to Koga's guidance and efforts to procure the best resources possible for her, her skills are one and all at the peak of where an ordinary shinobi child her age should be. The only people in her age group who surpass her are the sure enough PRODIGIES (Koga, Tsubaki, Chino, and Neji) and Tenten and Leelee. Naruko would be on the same level as even them, except for the things that held Naruto himself back in canon._

 ** _Number one:_** _Naruto, and thus by extension Naruko, is an IDIOT. I am not saying she is incompetent by any stretch. However she is very bullheaded and overly assured of her own skill and importance. This is expressed most firmly in her wholehearted belief that she will be Hokage one day, even though she has at this point been living with someone INFINITELY better suited to the position for over two years now who simply outclasses her in absolutely every respect. It has never occurred to her in the slightest that ANYONE would or even COULD beat her to her goal of being Hokage, and it has never dawned on her that there's not just one, but SEVERAL people, not even older than her but in the same age group who like Koga, outclass her in every respect. Likewise, she has never really considered the fact that Koga could actually very easily drop her like a poisonous snake and move on completely unhindered. This is where a lot of her arrogance comes into play, from the sheer fact that she has never bothered to acknowledge that she actually has competition in any field that's important to her and is nowhere near at the head of the pack. This, to me, is the height of idiocy._

 _She started making a good effort when Koga stopped talking to her, but it didn't change the fact that she thought she was untouchable and un-disputably queen of his heart. She thought he was referring to her abilities as a shinobi which even she had to admit were nowhere near his level and the violence, not the arrogance and rotten personality that spawned these flaws. Even when Tenten, Chino and Tsubaki all blatantly pointed it out to her, she still didn't get what they were telling her and thought things would go right back to the way they were if she could just catch up in skill and learn to be polite, superficial changes instead of actual ones._

 ** _Number two:_** _Naruko is LAZY. Yes, she's fully willing to put in the effort to be at the top of her class, when she thinks it will benefit her by earning her praise and admiration. If it weren't for Koga pushing and at first outright tricking her into studying, she never would. Now that's he's gone, if Tenten and the others who care about her can't keep her studying and training, then her grades and physical strength will undoubtedly not only slip but_ _ **plummet**_ _back to where she would've been if Koga had never intervened._

 ** _Number three:_** _Naruko is spoiled. VERY spoiled. I know what you're thinking: "but she used to be an orphan and an outcast right?" Yes, but for the last two-three years she has lived in the lap of luxury with Koga catering to her every whim, and Koga can pull just about anything she could ever think to ask for out of his hat. He's basically been her personal genie for most of these three years they've been together, and as is unfortunately so often the way of things where genies are involved, Naruko began to take him and the resources he provided very much for granted, thinking that nothing she could do would ever lose them. This is what led to her nonchalant abuse and neglect of her relationship with Koga, she really honestly thought that anything she did would be okay with him, not even REALIZING that there were in fact lines, and what crossing them would cost her._

 ** _So now that Koga is really doing his level best to step out of the picture for an extended period,_** _when we get back to Konoha, and Naruko comes back into focus, we're going to see just how much difference knowing who her parents, having good chakra control and an actual basis for her education along with a big sister and friends who actually care about her would actually affect her without the magical butterfly that got her those things in the picture. It's…honestly probably not going to be a pretty picture…_

 ** _Also, some Easter Eggs/Trivia/Unstated Whatever from this chapter:_**

 _= The events with the Greeks in this chapter are based on scenarios 2-4 of Age of Mythology's Fall of the Trident campaign. Koga cuts things short so scenarios 5 and 6 are rendered void. If you wish to learn more, playthrough videos are available on youtube and of course walkthroughs are always available online, or you can just go play the game (although that will lead to a degree of spoilers)._

 _= I never stated it in the chapter, but the song that Koga and Tsubaki sang for Jiraiya and Tsunade's first dance was "At the Beginning" originally sung by Richard Marx and Donna Lewis for the soundtrack of the movie "Anastasia"_

 _= The numbers for the House's Eviction and Blacklist code that Koga used, 7-20-6-15 correspond to the letters G-T-F-O_

 _= The mythical beast summoning rituals, as well as the use of local conscripts are based on Age of Mythology and other similar games' mechanic of having to build training centers to train up units for armies. I briefly puzzled over how to incorporate that as they would certainly have brought an army with them (who goes to war without an army?) and then I thought, "Hey, conscripts would need training!" Thus we have the birth of the sneak attack element introduced to the Trojan Ports section of this chapter._

 _= The same way Athena looked like Temari, Aphrodite's appearance was based on Kaguya and though Koga thought Hera looked like a grown-up Hanabi, she was actually a look-a-like of Rin._

 _= The reason Koga can create mythical beasts so much quicker than the priests can beseech them from the gods is that the gods aren't actively_ _ **focusing**_ _on it. It's a bit like half listening to someone talk about something you don't really care about, they're only giving it the very faintest nudge of energy. Were one of the Olympian gods to actually_ _ **focus**_ _on raising an army of beasts, even a little, then they'd be able to vastly out produce Koga 20 to 1 with ease as instead of having simply extra powerful chakra, they are natural sages with all the energy of the earth itself to draw on. Koga's powerful on the same level as the Sannin and the Hokage's no doubt, but the gods, Olympian and otherwise, are on par with_ _ **Kaguya,**_ _and that's a whole different power tier. Koga's senjutsu seal lets him elevate himself to about a tenth of their raw power, but no more than that._

 _He was only able to shrug off their attacks because of seals he uses to protect himself from other jutsu, which the gods' attacks aren't nearly refined enough to get through without simply brute forcing their way through and overloading them… an amount of power roughly equal to a Bijuudama. The attacks Hera and Aphrodite used against Koga were roughly equal to Jonin grade (B-Rank) jutsu. As for the toad transformation he shrugged off: Henge._

 _The difference between the two is rather similar to early Naruto and Sasuke, and later Squad 7 vs Kaguya. Even though they have vastly greater amounts of power to work with, they are not nearly as good at making it go as far as it should. Efficiency wise, they're functioning at about 1/3 of their full potential. Koga on the other hand is SUPREMELY efficient, skilled, and prepared for basically anything, therefore he is able to keep up and even sometimes surpass them._

 _= Koga's epithet as God of Destruction and Restoration is due to what he did for the Olympians. By destroying their notions about how they had to live their immortal lives, he was able to restore their happiness._

 ** _Next Time: The Most Beautiful Woman in the World? The Aftermath of the Trojan War!_**


	20. Ch19:KLDP2: Aftermath of the Trojan War

Chapter 19: KLD P2: Aftermath of the Trojan War

…

==At Troy==

…

" **SECURE THE CITY!"** Koga roared, " **DON'T STOP FOR PLUNDERING!"**

Agamemnon and Menelaus gave him curious looks and he replied with a flat glare as the army stampeded towards the now defenseless city, "If they stop to plunder then they risk being cut down from behind. I've disarmed them all, so this'll be a massacre no doubt, but there is no reason to give them an opening for a counter attack."

Then he shot a glance into the city, "Actually…" His eyes glowed purple for a moment and then, " **NEVER MIND! PILLAGE TO YOUR HEARTS' CONTENT!** " He shrugged at Agamemnon and Menelaus, "I've removed all the civilians in the city from this plane of existence. We'll sort them individually once the city is secure. The soldiers have been stripped of their weapons and immobilized. I did leave the Trojan king, the bastard that's been with Queen Helen, and Queen Helen herself. Don't worry, all three are restrained. Since there's no risk of ambush, we might as well go on ahead don't you think?"

"Yes!" Menelaus exclaimed, "Let's go! I want to teach that bitch wife of mine a lesson!"

Koga looked at him flatly, "I've heard that she was abducted as often as I've heard that she left willingly. How about you allow me to interrogate her to determine her guilt _before_ you get excited with swinging that sword, eh? Take out your anger on the Trojan punk that I saw leaving the room where I've learned she is being held."

Menelaus considered that for a moment and then agreed, "Of course Lord Koga. I thank you for your assistance in this matter. **GUARDS!** "

Menelaus and Agamemnon's honor guards split out from the stampede of Greek soldiers and formed up around the three. Koga cracked his knuckles with a grin, "Let's go."

The Greeks suffered a brief moment of disorientation as the world shifted around them. Then as they reappeared in the Trojan King's throne room, they pounced upon the guards and massacred them.

The old Trojan king watched in horror from where he was bound upon his throne, unable to move or look away. Agamemnon strode up to him, brimming with confidence, "So I bay like a dog do I?"

Koga cleared his throat, "A moment King Agamemnon before you slay him."

Agamemnon's hand twitched around the hilt of his sword, "Yes?"

"Wouldn't it be more satisfying to execute him publicly?" Koga mused, "Nothing says 'I win' like lopping off the enemy king's head in front of everybody."

Agamemnon blinked and then laughed, "Right you are Lord Koga! Priam, your death will wait until my army can witness it!"

"I recommend sundown," Koga declared idly, "Symbolize the end of Troy's last day with the death of its last king."

Agamemnon turned to Menelaus with a broad grin, "See brother?! I told you he's smart!"

Menelaus nodded, not really paying attention, "Yes of course, where is the bastard who you said was with my wife? And more importantly, where's my wife?"

Koga waved his hand and a greasy looking young man fell out of thin air to a very rough landing on the stone floor. Koga whistled, snapped his fingers and pointed at the very surprised form of the Trojan Prince Deiphobus, " _Get him._ " Deiphobus was immediately swamped in very bloodthirsty Greeks.

In less than a minute, the Trojan Prince was being held off the ground by no less than three soldiers on each limb. Menelaus strode forward with a stormy look on his face as his sword seemed to almost spring from its sheath of its own accord, "You. Slept. With. My. **_WIFE._** "

Koga nonchalantly offered Agamemnon some popcorn. Agamemnon punched Priam in the face for good measure before accepting the snack. They proceeded to watch idly as Menelaus furiously hacked the Trojan Prince to pieces, periodically calling out helpful things like, "Start with the toes and work your way up!" "Don't cut off his ears yet! He won't be able to hear you cursing him!" "Cut off his nose to spite his face!"

Several minutes of blood, screaming and swearing later, there wasn't much left of Deiphobus of Troy. He was all still there mind you, and there, and _there_ , and over there, and splattered on the wall…staining the floor… One could say he was feeling a bit scattered really...

Menelaus turned around after he finished and despite being covered in blood, or more likely because of it, he directed a sunny grin at his brother and Koga, "WELL! **_I_** feel better now!"

Koga smiled, "Well good. Come along, Queen Helen is this way." He led the two kings and their guards down a hallway with a grin as he merrily chatted and sipped something from a flask, "You know I'm really quite interested to see her. I haven't yet you know, found the room she's in but I decided to save the first look for the big reveal. I really want to know what Greece's idea of "most beautiful woman in the world" looks like though."

"Oh, she lives up to it," Menelaus replied with a small smirk.

"No doubt," Agamemnon added, "Her hair is like the finest gold and her eyes are a deeper and richer blue than the sea itself. Any man would be enamored with her."

Menelaus sighed fondly, "I truly hope you find her innocent Lord Koga, I have terribly missed her touch." A sad look entered his eye, "If she has truly betrayed me and caused the deaths of so many tens of thousands of Greeks, then I will have to kill her to exact justice for the lives of my men ruined and lost over these last ten years. If she was truly stolen away as you say though Lord Koga, then I shall happily welcome her back with the fondest embrace I can give."

He was quiet for a moment and then, "I fear I may no longer be in the great physical prime of my life to sire a strong child, but nevertheless, if she is still mine then I would still like to at least try to have a son with her."

Koga nodded, "An understandable sentiment. I will hope she has been as loyal as she is beautiful. For now though, what do you say we find out?" He paused at a door and rapped his knuckles against it once, twice, and on the third rap the door fell from its frame, the stone around the hinges having turned to powder and dust.

"Knock-knock!" Koga called cheerfully as he turned and strode into the room, "Introducing Kings Menelaus of Sparta and Agamemnon of Mycenae, along with honored guest, the God of Destruction and Restoration, Lord Koga! That'd be me by the way," he added with a grin. Then he glanced around, "My, my, quite dark in here isn't it?"

He snapped his fingers and spheres of light burst into being around the doorway before flowing into the room to illuminate it. He then blinked as he got his first glimpse of Queen Helen of Sparta. He rubbed his eyes and took a second look. Then he closed his eyes, took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and looked again. He mulled over what he was seeing for a moment, and the Greeks held their silence in preparation for the revelation of whatever could have made their army's apparent patron god go so still and silent.

Koga then tilted his head back and his chakra roared to life around him in a massive purple bonfire as he roared at the ceiling and the sky beyond, " ** _IS THIS YOUR IDEA OF A JOOOOOOOOOKE?!_** " He turned his attention back to Queen Helen with a growl. Then he banished his aura and with a quick shake of his head schooled his face into a friendlier expression, "My apologies for my outburst, Queen Helen. I have just gotten the distinct impression that some other god is currently doing their level best to mock me."

"Oh I don't mind," Queen Helen replied with an utterly radiant smile from where she was perched on the bed, the sole piece of furniture in the room, "You've been fighting a terrible war, I'm sure you're exhausted. Menelaus my love, won't you come and embrace me? I've missed you terribly."

Menelaus made to go over to her, only for Koga to hold an arm out in front of him, "Please wait a moment, King Menelaus. This woman is under an illusionary disguise. They are common in my land, allow me to dispel it so that we might see the truth here."

Menelaus looked at him in surprise and then nodded his consent. Koga nodded his thanks and strode across the room. He stopped at the bedside and raised a hand, "Queen Helen, or whoever you might be, if that illusion is yours, then I advise you to disperse it. If it is not and you cannot release it on your own, then take my hand and allow me."

It really said something Koga mused as his hand was immediately clasped in both of hers. He wasn't sure what it said, but he nodded, "Very well." He gently flexed his chakra and the illusion popped like thin glass.

Every eye in the room went wide. A moment before, Queen Helen had been a near ethereal beauty with entrancingly blue eyes and lustrous golden hair cropped short except for her bangs which framed a heartbreakingly beautiful face. Her figure had been lithe and full, a body unquestionably made for loving. Her skin glowed with health and vigor and her voice was soothing yet arousing at the same time.

Now as the illusion shattered, the sparkling blue eyes were revealed to be dull, miserable and tired without a spark of hope in them, framed by dark bags beneath them. The lustrous golden hair was matted and dull from a lack of care. Her cheeks were sunken and stained red with tears. The lithe and irresistibly shaped figure was revealed to be bony and unmistakably starved. There was distinctive bruising around her throat as well as horribly hand shaped marks all over her, and Koga's sharp eyes quickly caught the sight of white lines of scarring on the insides of her forearms. There was no mistake though, it was still the same woman.

"So now you see me as I am," she whispered miserably, her voice still carrying easily across the room in the silence.

"HELEN!" Menelaus exclaimed in horror as he rushed forward, "Who did this to you?!"

Helen chuckled lightly as Menelaus scooped her into a hug, tears welling in her eyes as she asked quietly, "Which part? The illusion? Probably the gods. The abduction? Paris. The most recent batch of raping and beatings? Deiphobus. The starvation and attempts to escape to death's embrace rather than stay in this place another moment? That was me."

Menelaus sobbed and begged for forgiveness for not getting there sooner and the other men in the room had to fight to keep from being sick with horror. Koga was actually having to support himself against the wall his knees had gone so weak with horror at the sight before him, "King Menelaus, Queen Helen, I will return soon with one of the finest healers I know. Please, don't go anywhere until I return."

He disappeared in a burst of smoke and after a moment Helen asked Menelaus weakly, "Menelaus? He said there was an illusion on me. What, what were you seeing?"

"I saw you healthy and happy, asking me to come to bed," Menelaus sobbed as Agamemnon shooed the soldiers out into the hall, "I'm so sorry I couldn't see through it!"

Helen's grip tightened on the sheets slightly and after a moment she asked, "Menelaus, this may seem like a strange question…" Menelaus looked up and then Helen met his gaze, "How old do you think I am?"

A cold ugly dread settled in Menelaus's gut, "You, you're thirty-four, right? Seven years younger than me?"

Helen smiled weakly, "I guess that's another part of the illusion. No Menelaus, I'm _twenty_ -four."

"Y-you mean…" Menelaus started to shake with horror as the numbers sorted themselves in his head. They'd been at war to get her back for ten years. He'd been married to her for two years prior to that. Which would mean that when he'd married her, she'd been…

Helen laid her head on his shoulder, "I don't blame you. It must've been a curse from the gods. You couldn't have known."

"But, but that means…"

"Yeah," she said quietly, "I'm sorry I wasn't old enough to give you a child."

"No! NO!" Menelaus exclaimed as he held her at arms length, horror coloring his features as he regarded the woman he was married to who was young enough to be his daughter, "NEVER apologize for that! I'm so sorry! I shouldn't even have been trying!" He lowered his head as tears of shame started to flow free and he mumbled over and over again, "I'm so sorry…"

Helen was so confused that for a moment all she could do was stare at him and then she gently wrapped her arms around his head with what little strength she had and pulled him close, "Hey, it's okay. Of the four men I've been married to, you're the kindest by far. You were always sweet to me and you never hit me or shouted at me, and now I know that the only reason you wouldn't stop was because you couldn't hear me asking you to."

This only redoubled the intensity of shamed sobs wracking the Spartan king and Helen could only hold on, completely unsure of how to react. It had been a fact of her life for as long as she could remember that men would not stop no matter how she begged or plead. Now Menelaus, who was definitely old enough to be her father but had still always been very kind to her aside from not stopping and surprisingly gentle and considerate even then, was actively begging her forgiveness for not stopping? He didn't blame her? But… _everyone_ blamed her…

Then a flash of light erupted and the boy (god?) who had dispelled the illusion was back, this time with a beautiful dark-haired woman in a long dark dress in tow. Helen's eyebrows went up in surprise as the dark-haired woman took one look at her and after a moment of utterly flabbergasted shock, hurried over. She laid a hand on Menelaus's shoulder and snapped something at him in a language Helen didn't understand. Menelaus looked up at her in confusion, "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

The dark-haired woman blinked in surprise before sighing at the look of incomprehension and looked over at Koga before asking him something. Koga blinked in surprise, "You can't understand them? Huh, guess the auto-translate only works for me. King Menelaus, Queen Helen, this is my elder-sister Shizune. She is one of the greatest healers in our lands. She has come to help the Queen with her recovery. She cannot speak the Greek tongue as I do, but she is beyond any shadow of a doubt the best person I could possibly get to help you."

Helen's breath caught slightly, "You…came to help… me?"

Shizune offered the Spartan Queen a warm smile. She might not have understood the words, but she knew the tone, and though Helen couldn't understand a word Shizune said, she knew the medic's reassuring gentle tone too. Tears began to well in her eyes as a smile broke across her face and the lost and broken look that had inhabited her eyes behind that illusion for most of her life finally started to fade, "Thank you…thank you so much…"

 _Koga wasn't kidding…_ Shizune mused as Menelaus backed up to give her room to examine Helen properly, … _She really DOES look just like Naruko…_

…

==Later==

…

Shizune calmly worked to restore the Spartan Queen's health. She had apparently been starving herself for weeks, the most recent attempt to escape the man she called Deiphobus after hanging and cutting herself had failed. Koga had told them both that Menelaus had gone a step beyond having Deiphobus drawn and quartered, personally chopping the scum bag into no less than a _hundred_ pieces (Koga had stopped counting after that).

Helen's bruises and minor fractures had been easy to repair, as had the scarring, now Shizune had moved on to the muscular and internal atrophy from the starvation, an altogether more difficult and time-consuming process. Shizune wasn't apprenticed to the world's greatest med-nin for nothing though, and the procedure was coming along well. Queen Helen would be back on her feet and in good health within a matter of days.

Now though, she had attention to spare, and there was more than one person in that room in need of help. He on the other hand, was a rather different case, "You know Koga-kun, you really had me worried when you showed up looking like that. Although, I have to say it made a lot more sense when I got here. This must have been a horrible shock to you, especially so soon after you ended it with her."

"You have no idea," Koga rumbled quietly from where he sat on the floor and slumped against the wall. He curled around himself a little more with a haunted look in his eye, "It was like every nightmare I've had since I met her all taken form."

Shizune cast a glance over her shoulder at him, "I know she didn't leave you much of a choice, but I can tell it still hurt you."

Koga snorted lightly, "Felt like tearing my heart out."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Shizune asked quietly, "From what I've heard, you've been almost completely silent with everyone back home since then. I hope you've at least talked to your friends here, but they don't really know the whole situation do they?"

Koga made a noise in the negative and Shizune nodded, "That's what I thought. Do you want to talk about it? It's not good to keep these things bottled up."

The Spartan Queen said something Shizune couldn't understand and she snapped a glance over her shoulder at Koga, "Translation?"

"She wants to know what we're talking about," Koga replied, "My apologies Queen Helen, I suppose you do deserve to know. Back home there's a girl who I have loved dearly for years. She…looks a disturbingly great deal like you. That's why seeing you in such an awful state upset me so much."

Helen murmured something and Koga's head snapped up, "No, no! You don't have to apologize! It's not your fault at all! It's just a strange coincidence that came at an unfortunate time!" Helen smiled and murmured the same thing along with something else and Koga sighed, "You know, I'm really glad you're nice Queen Helen, but I wish I could've stopped the circumstances that led you to this mindset. You're not to blame, not for any of this. Blame whoever put that awful curse on you, blame the Trojans for stealing you, blame all of mankind for what's happened to you, but please don't feel like the horrible things that've happened to you are your fault because they're _not_."

Helen shot a fond smile at him and murmured something that sounded like an acceptance.

Shizune sighed with a small smile, "Little wonder you've got all the girls back home swooning over you Koga-kun, on top of all that power, you've got a way with words."

Helen started slightly and looked at Shizune in shock, "How did I understand that?"

Shizune was so surprised that she almost lost her grip on the medical jutsu, "How…Koga?"

"My omnipresence jutsu," Koga replied, "I altered the voices to match yours and repeated what you said. It's not perfect, but it will get the messages across. Sorry, never had to translate before. It took me a few minutes to figure it out. There'll be some slight lag in the translation, but it should serve its purpose decently."

Shizune nodded, "I see." Then she turned back to Queen Helen, "Well now that we can talk Your Highness, please, tell me everything that has happened to you. If you tell me your complete medical history it will make it much easier for me to find and repair any damage to your body."

Helen blinked in confusion and then realization lit her face as the translation came through. She then proceeded to launch into her life story, and Shizune and Koga couldn't help but writhe internally in discomfort. It wasn't a pretty story.

…

==Much Later Still==

…

Shizune stepped out into the corridor with Koga right behind her. Shizune looked at King Menelaus who had been waiting by the door since they had started that morning. "I've restored her internal organs and repaired all the superficial damage. She is out of danger, but she is far from well yet. Her body is still very weak from her suffering, and her mind is going to take quite a while to recover from the psychological trauma that has apparently characterized her entire life. She has asked to see you, but I _will_ supervise the visit."

Menelaus's guards watched with no small amount of wonder as this mysterious dark beauty calmly instructed the Spartan King like she was his equal. Even though they couldn't understand her words, there was no mistaking the authority in her voice. _No, not his equal,_ they realized, _his_ _ **superior.**_

Then their jaws dropped as she effortlessly hefted Koga by the back of his coat, " _This one_ has gone out of his way to repeatedly prove how visiting hours can go badly and result in the patient being set back drastically in their recovery."

Koga waved nonchalantly as his feet dangled over a foot off the ground, "Sorry about that. She's a little paranoid after having to deal with me and the results of the visitors I had last time I was badly injured." He didn't look sorry at all.

"You turned what should've been a two day recovery into two _months_ , only to reveal right at the end that you could've recovered from all of it in _an instant,_ " Shizune declared acerbically as she shot him an annoyed glare and shook him lightly like a misbehaving kitten, "Honestly I'm still surprised Lady Tsunade hasn't attempted to track you down so she can strangle you. If you hadn't been her patient at the time, she almost certainly would've turned you into a smear on the floor after that first incident."

Menelaus took a moment to process that once the translation of Shizune's words filtered into his ears, _Something was actually capable of hurting Lord Koga?!_ "I see. Thank you." _Worry about that later, Helen comes first._

Shizune took a step back and pushed the door open, disappearing inside with Koga and Menelaus. One soldier voiced what they were all thinking after a moment, "She's a goddess…"

…

Meanwhile, Out in the Palace Square

…

One of Koga's clones sat and idly kicked his feet on a balcony set into the palace's front steps while Agamemnon joyfully accepted the looted gifts the soldiers and generals were hauling to him from all across the city. To Koga's surprise, he was getting no small number of presents as well, the largest of which caught him quite a bit more by surprise than any of the others.

Arkantos and a few of his soldiers came up to the steps leading two horses. One was a massive reddish bay and the other was a smaller coal black foal. "King Agamemnon, Lord Koga!" Arkantos called, "We have brought you a gift!"

Koga blinked and leapt from the balcony, gliding down on a little gust of wind. He landed in front of Arkantos and the two horses, both of which seemed nervous at his descent. He smiled, "I told you I need no reward Arkantos, but nobody else has listened to me about that either. I feel I should give you something as well though if we're giving presents." He thought for a moment, "You use that same spear of yours all the time right?"

Arkantos nodded, "Yes…?"

Koga grinned, "Ah good, then I know just the thing!" He pointed a finger at the spear and suddenly glowing lines erupted just below its head. A moment later the spear ceased glowing and Koga grinned, "Now whenever you thrust or throw that spear, it will shroud its tip in lightning. Now what was that you said about a present for me?"

Arkantos took a brief second to look at his spear in awe and then nodded, "Yes. In Atlantis is common for a defeated general to surrender his horse to the victor. The Trojans would likely not know this custom, but as this was clearly your victory Lord Koga, and yours as well King Agamemnon," he added with a nod to the Mycenaean King as he descended the steps, "We felt it was appropriate for the Trojans to provide you both with the finest horses we could find."

"This one," he nodded to the immense red horse that had unmistakably been bred to be a war horse, "We took from the stables of one of their generals. He is strong and proud, we thought he would pair well with you King Agamemnon."

Agamemnon stepped forward and greeted the horse with excitement, "A fine gift indeed Arkantos! He looks to be a fine steed!" The horse regarded him imperiously and then pressed its head into his raised hand with a snort. Agamemnon laughed at the horse's attitude, "A steed worthy of a king indeed!"

Koga meanwhile was already making his acquaintance with the playful little black foal that was clearly meant for him. "Is this little fellow here to join me then?" he asked with a delighted grin as he and the little foal danced around each other, "I must confess I know little of horses and our people rarely use them due to our own speed. However…" He paused and raised a hand to the little foal, a lump of sugar in his hand. The foal immediately cantered over to accept the treat, "I do believe we'll get along well!" he declared as he gently petted the foal's mane.

After a moment he mused, "Now what shall I call you?" The little foal looked up at him and snorted, "Pshu." Koga blinked and then, "Shu, eh? After the Egyptian god of the wind, yes I think that'll do nicely." The newly named Shu seemed to smile at his new name. Koga smiled back, "I see you agree. I'll have to look into acquiring some adequate pasture for you back home."

Shu's ears perked up. Koga grinned, "Ya like that eh? I'll start looking into it." He propped an elbow on his new horse's back as he looked to the sky and mused, "Now what to do about gear…" An idea visibly crossed his mind and he looked at his horse for a second before a mischievous grin spread across his features, "Oh yeah, that'll work."

Then he raised a hand to his chin and began to mutter ponderously as he leaned against Shu's side, "Let's see, need heat and cold protection, definitely missile and metal deflectors…Hmm…a field to protect the rider as well…contact with the main saddle maybe…air filter with the bit in case of smoke or toxic gas…wonder if I can sync up a senjutsu stamina enhancer…"

Arkantos smiled at his second in command, "I think he likes the horse!"

…

==That Night==

…

Shizune and Koga sat in comfortable armchairs in one of the palace's royal suites. It was the same one they'd moved Helen to and which now had Menelaus's guards camped out in the central room. With the Trojan soldiers massacred wholesale, their king publicly executed and the civilians trapped in Koga's Kamui for what he politely termed "processing" the next day, there was nothing at all to fear, but Menelaus's guards weren't the sort to take chances.

It said good things about Menelaus that Helen had actually requested that he be allowed to hold her through the night. Shizune had firmly declared that there was to be absolutely no hanky-panky and that the Spartan King was to treat his wife as gently as glass, and Menelaus had appeared mildly offended that she thought he would handle it any other way, which was another good sign. So now she and Koga had eaten dinner and were heading to bed soon.

They sat there for a while in companionable silence and then Shizune broke the silence, "Koga-kun, you were going to talk about it?"

Koga stiffened slightly and then sighed, "Yeah. You're as good a person as anyone to talk to about this." So saying, he transformed. Gone was the eight-year-old, replaced with a man who actually looked a bit older than Shizune. If the wild beard and hair were anything to go by, Shizune would guess that Koga had aged himself by around twenty to thirty years, and aged himself roughly at that. His new appearance clearly showed the weight of his shadow-clone-accumulated years and even the untamable wild briar patch of hair seemed to sag with weariness.

Shizune remembered when Jiraiya had forced Koga to reveal his true age and sighed, "So, I guess this is your real appearance then?"

Koga looked over at her, "I suppose. It's about how old I feel."

Shizune sighed, "Did that have anything to do with you ending it with Naruko?"

Koga's grip tightened slightly on the armrests of his chair, "Yeah."

Shizune was quiet for a moment as she examined him, "May I guess that you feel like you're old enough to be her father rather than her lover?"

Koga actually flinched with a grimace, "Got it in one. You were there when Jiraiya made me admit my real age weren't you?" Shizune nodded and Koga sighed, "Then you know that mentally I'm old enough to be her great-great-great grandfather." He sat forward and gazed into the fire, "I have the mind of a grown man, I _feel_ like not just a _grown_ man but a damned _old_ one, and she's just a child!"

He exhaled bitterly, "Part of me wants to just _give her_ the technique, so that she can catch up to me and understand it. Once she matures and can understand what she's getting into, then maybe I won't feel like quite such a dirty old man every time she smiles and tries to flirt with me." He put his face in one hand, "I _still_ can't believe she got her hands on Jiraiya's books."

His hands both tangled in his hair, "I wanted to give her a good life, and now she's gotten it into her head that she can get whatever she wants by being good in bed. She refuses to even acknowledge that she's too young for it! Do you know that until the Chinoike match she tried to flirt with and seduce me on at least a weekly basis? _She doesn't even understand what she's asking for but she's stubborn as a damned ox that she wants it!_ "

Silence reigned for a moment, "And you want to give it to her." Shizune said quietly.

Koga flinched and then grimaced ruefully, "Of course I do! Up until the Chinoike match and the ensuing _bullshit_ , she was my entire world! My sole reason to live was her next happy smile! The next kiss, the next hug or I love you! I would've given anything to be able to hurry up and make our relationship physical so that I could show her in the most intimate way how much I love her, but I _couldn't_ without taking away something she'd never be able to get back!" he spat, "I could _make her_ into my perfect mate, it would take a few days tops! But it would be hollow as fuck and completely meaningless because she wouldn't have chosen it, wouldn't understand even if she did choose, and I'd be robbing her of her childhood if I did!"

"And **_NOW_** ," he ranted, "Come to find out, she apparently sees me as nothing but her own personal wish granting service! She thinks that my feelings are as worthless as something I'd just randomly throw at any random good looking kunoichi with a bit of power behind her! That all I cared about was strength! Measly words cannot express how completely and utterly betrayed I feel! Now I can't even take any attempts she might make at reconciliation at face value because I know there's a possibility that she just wants the benefits of being with me instead of actually caring about me! I feel so damn _used_ and if anyone else had even come close to hurting me this much I'd kill them on the spot but…" he trailed off grinding his teeth.

"You still love her don't you?" Shizune asked quietly after a moment.

"So much and I hate it…" Koga groaned as he plopped his face back into his hands, "I want to hate her. I want to hate her _so much_ , but I can't shake that damned voice in the back of my mind that keeps telling me that somewhere in there is the girl who legitimately loved me back. And yes, I do believe whole heartedly that she did, I just…" He dropped his hands and stared into the fire, "I just can't figure out where I went wrong…If I could then, then maybe I could fix it…I could get back to being _us_ instead of just _me_ …"

Shizune had to double check to make sure her eyes weren't deceiving her. There was no doubt though, those really were tears welling in Koga's eyes, "I was so lonely before I met her. Even when it was hot out, I was still so cold… I don't want to go back to being like that again, but after a betrayal like _that_ , how do I trust anyone enough to let them get that close again?"

Silence fell for a bit and then Shizune said quietly, "Well, why don't you think about the people who have a legitimate reason to admire and care for you? People you've helped? I know at least one girl who honestly thinks the world of you."

Koga nodded, "Tsubaki. The Sand sisters. Tenten honestly respects me even if I'm not sure how she feels about me now in wake of the whole Naruko thing. She's every bit as protective a big sister as she should be and I respect the hell out of her for that. Hinata likes me a lot even though she's too shy to say anything about it. Chino will never admit it but I think she knows how bad things were getting for her clan before I got them brought to Konoha, and I know she likes me a lot better than she likes Naruko. She doesn't even try to hide it." He sighed, "They all have the same problem though, _age_. Of all of them, Temari's the closest to being anything like of age and maturity to be making that sort of commitment, and she's _twelve!_ "

He slumped back into his chair, "I have no less than half a dozen girls who could and I suspect very happily _would_ step in to fill the hole in my heart that Naruko left, but they're all too young for me to even consider loving half as much as I want to for at the _very_ minimum another three years, _seven_ in most cases!" He rolled his gaze back to the fire with a frustrated grimace and twitching eye, "And the worst part? My body is fully caught up to my mind in everything except physical growth. I've got the libido of a damned _rabbit_ and it's going to drive me completely fucking _bonkers_ throughout the entire wait!"

Shizune was quiet for several minutes and Koga wearily let his gaze wander in her direction, feeling very emotionally drained from his rant, "Too much information? Sorry I just, I was letting it all out. I, you probably didn't care to hear that."

Shizune was quiet for a minute more and then she sighed, "Well, at least I can help you with _that._ "

Koga turned to look at her fully and was greeted with the sight of a burst of chakra smoke. When it cleared Shizune was revealed to be wearing… "EHHHHH?!"

Let it be made clear that for all that Shizune was lacking in the boyfriend department, most of Konoha's male shinobi were too intimidated by her Jonin standing and skills to feel confident in their ability to woo her, she was in no way an undesirable woman. She was slimly built and not heavily endowed in the chest, but she was still quite attractive in the face, and her body was still sculpted with the meticulous and rigorous effort of a Jonin med-nin.

So of course, Koga had a nosebleed hard enough to nearly flip his chair when he saw her smiling slyly at him in nothing but a lacy black nighty and matching panties. A moment later, the blood stopped flowing much quicker than he would've expected and his head stopped throbbing and whirling from the pain of what had undoubtedly been the worst nosebleed he'd had in months, possibly ever. It was almost triggered anew when he realized what the source of this mysterious stoppering on his sinuses was: Shizune, _in his lap kissing him gently on the nose._

Shizune smiled at him gently and her hand glowed with chakra as she ran it over him, effortlessly wiping away the blood that was trying to stain his bare chest (he never wore anything more than pants while he slept). "I see you like that idea," she declared huskily, her eyes raking across the extremely muscular and sculpted figure in the chair beneath her, "Keep that form stable, and I'll treat you for stress build up."

She leaned in close and touched her forehead gently to his, her dark blue, almost black eyes boring into Koga's orange, "Just remember physician-patient confidentiality alright? Anyone who doesn't understand your condition will have the same reaction to this that _you_ do to your attraction to Naruko. I'm very much of age, and we both know that you are more than mature enough to decide these things. I don't think it's a problem and I don't think anyone who understands your circumstances would object, but I'd still like to spare us both the odd looks. So, let me ask you Koga-kun, would you like to proceed with a little…experimental therapy?"

Koga's breath was shallow and rapid, his heart was hammering, his eyes were wide and his brain had quite shut down due to sheer surprise as another part of him _very much_ woke up. Koga gulped as his brain finally managed to fight off the shock, "Onee-chan…"

Shizune shushed him, "It's Shizune-chan now, okay?"

Koga blushed even more furiously at that and struggled to reign in the urges howling through every fiber of his being, "Please perform a genjutsu dispelling technique Shizune-chan. I won't have you being forced into something like this and I know there are those in this part of the world who could lay a genjutsu like that upon you."

Shizune smiled and sat back, not at all oblivious to how the shift of her weight drove Koga mad with need. She folded her fingers, " _Kai._ " It wasn't a small dispelling, she pulsed her chakra hard enough for Koga to feel it to make sure that he knew she wasn't faking him out.

Koga's resistance was starting to crumble as he realized that she really and truly was acting of her own accord.

Then Shizune walked in, fresh from the bath.

The entire world seemed to freeze for a second as Koga and the woman in his lap stared at her in surprise.

"EHHHHHHHHHHHHH?!" Shizune shrieked.

" _DAMN IT!"_ The woman in Koga's lap snapped as her countenance started to glow. A brief flash of light later, Koga and Shizune were confronted with, "Lady Athena?!"

Athena pouted at having her disguise foiled, still looking strikingly similar to an adult Temari (Koga later learned this was her preferred form), and still wearing nothing but her lingerie, "Yes it's me. I just had my oath nullified and wanted to thank you."

"And you thought that meant you needed to disguise yourself as me?!" Shizune exclaimed.

Athena looked at her flatly, "Yes. It's customary among Olympians to not let mortal lovers realize who they're with. Keeps them from getting swelled heads."

Then she got to her feet, caught Koga's hand and tugged him from the chair to start dragging him towards the bedroom, "You've got problems with feeling old compared to literally every mortal you care about? _Join the club!_ Why do you think I swore to be a maiden forever? It was so that I'd never fall in love with a stupid mortal and have to watch them die! But you just _had_ to go and turn everything I've ever known on its head didn't you? Well now you're going to take responsibility for your actions damn it! Tonight, _you. Are. MINE._ "

So saying, she opened the door, tossed Koga through it and onto the bed and stalked through it before pausing just as she was about to close the door, "I apologize if me wearing your face offended you. I'm going to make love to the man who singlehandedly upturned the eternity of me and my whole family for the vastly better. Thank you for the medical knowledge, have a nice night."

Then she closed the door and left a still rather flabbergasted Shizune very glad that there was another bedroom in that suite.

…

 **IMPORTANT NOTE FOR THOSE WHO DESIRE CENSORSHIP!**

 **…**

 **Skip to the end of this section if you don't want to see Koga and Athena's first major one-on-one interaction, but do make note that it will have significant impact upon their future relationship, which will not be all about sex. This is NOT a smut story, but I'm not some prude who will just up and ignore these things.**

 **Koga's got the mind and impulses of a grown man which he has been doing everything in his power to repress for three years now, and Athena's got an entire field of knowledge that she has never bothered to explore in the realms of romance and intimacy. Simply put, they now aim to correct those things quite thoroughly.**

 **For those of you wondering why Athena and not a different goddess or a Trojan Princess as so many of the Greek kings and generals took home after the end of the Trojan War, there are actually a couple of very valid reasons.**

 **= First of all, taking one of the Princesses or any other woman captive to be basically a sex slave is not Koga's style. Never has been, never will be. For all that he's got the libido of a rabbit and the pride of a lion, he'd never force himself on a woman. The very idea is repugnant to him as he craves equals, not underlings. He feels the same way about fangirls.**

 **= Second, Athena is one of the very few Olympians who wasn't at least a tad butthurt during Koga's lecture since he respects what she represents more than any of the others barring maybe Hermes and Hephaestus, as well as her being the first to have met him and the one who called dibs. Knowledge and creativity are Koga's greatest assets. As Athena is the goddess in charge of these things, she is the one Koga wants to offend the least and also the one he would be the most likely to worship if he were the worshipping sort. It also doesn't hurt that her default form looks like Temari, who Koga has as strong a chemistry with as Tsubaki and Chino (ie.** ** _At least_** **what he's got with Naruko, if not more).**

 **= Third, Athena now respects Koga immensely for reforming Olympian society into something which can be much happier than it was. Koga's little lecture actually cleared the way to settling numerous disputes between the Olympians and will make life on Olympus better for centuries to come. Koga also holds vast amounts of knowledge from lands Athena has never been to or seen, so she is deeply intrigued and wishes to get to know him better so that she might learn from him as she is constantly seeking new knowledge and innovations to keep her eternal life interesting. It should also be noted that Athena has an extraordinarily high learning rate and is capable of reverse engineering things with remarkable speed. As she and Apollo (the god of medicine) were both highly interested in watching Shizune work, between the two of them they were able to reverse engineer the basics of medical jutsu by the time Shizune finished for the day. Even as much as Koga knows that she doesn't, the answers he can provide her are not enough to satisfy her for long, but the infinite questions those answers will raise are, which Athena already suspects and is part of the fuel for her interest in him.**

 **= Fourth, as stated a few paragraphs ago, Athena took her vow of chastity as a way to protect herself against heartbreak because she knew how much it would hurt her to have to watch someone she loved wither and die while she remained ageless. Koga has a similar problem and therefore Athena can very much empathize with him. This makes him a good partner for her to explore the problem with as he has a very similar mindset to her.**

 **= Fifth, I just want to and I thought that scene where she impersonated Shizune was too hilarious a curveball to not share with you all, so ha-haha-hahaaahaha!**

 **…**

 **MOVING ON! DEATH TO THE CENSORS! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! XD**

 **…**

 **LEMONY GOODNESS, FULL STEAMINESS AHEAD! XD**

 **…**

 **YOU'VE BEEN WARNED! XD**

 **…**

Athena slumped against the door, unable to look at Koga. It had been going so _well_ too, he had been about to give in, she could tell! Then his…she still wasn't quite sure what their relationship was but she knew they weren't blood kin despite him big-sis, had burst in and ruined her disguise.

She exhaled bitterly through her nose, "The moment's totally gone now isn't it?"

"Completely," Koga replied.

Athena groaned, "I'm sorry, I've, I've never done this before. I knew I should've asked dad or Apollo for pointers…"

"Why?" Koga asked, "You were doing a truly enticing job. I was _this close_ to caving in and ravishing you right there on that chair. Considering that I had never even _considered_ looking at Shizune-onee-chan that way before, that's quite an accomplishment. For the record though?"

Athena chanced a glance up and realized that he had not only left the bed, he had somehow silently gotten within arm's reach of her and was leaning down to smirk at her in a way that she had to admit to herself actually did make her pulse speed up. Then he gently gathered her into his arms and looked her right in the eye with an almost sleepy smile, "I have _always_ been a sucker for blue eyed blondes, and your bluish-silver are some of the prettiest I've ever seen. I'd guess that this is your original and default form?"

Athena blushed again, "Um, maybe." She smiled at the compliment and then Koga gave her a gentle squeeze, "If it's not your true form and seeing it won't incinerate me or something equally lethal, then I'd very much like to see it."

Athena blinked, _what?_ "But, you just said you really like this form. Why would you want me to change it?"

Koga gently kissed her on top of the head, "Milady Athena, if I am to love you then I wish to know you as you are. The _real_ you, the you that you are most comfortable being, not whichever disguise happens to be most convenient. If that's this form, then I am overjoyed that you would trust me with a chance to enjoy it. If not, then please, let me see you."

Athena pouted slightly, "Alright, but you have to promise not to laugh."

Koga considered that for a moment, "May I laugh with delight if it turns out to be something I find utterly adorable?"

Athena blushed and looked up at him with an annoyed frown, "How could feathers coming out of my head and covering half my body possibly be _cute?_ "

Koga blinked and then his almost sleepy smile returned with a somehow sharper edge to it, "You're right. That doesn't sound cute," His smile grew to an outright grin, "It sounds fuckin' _hot._ Come on…show me!"

Athena's jaw dropped as she registered what he said and then, "I swear to Styx if you reject me when you see this, I will _end you."_

So saying she stepped back away from him to the middle of the room. She began to glow and after a brief flash, she stood before him. The lingerie was gone, replaced with a fine downy layer of silvery feathers over her legs and forearms. There were two little tufts of long silvery plumage arcing back from just above her eyebrows and spreading out behind her head like small wings. Her breasts weren't particularly large, but it fit well with the sleekness of her figure. Her hair was still golden and her eyes were still a near metallic silvery blue as she nervously peeked to see Koga's reaction. To her surprise, she found Koga immediately circling her and inspecting her form.

She immediately grew deeply uncomfortable with the attention, especially as she felt his gaze latch onto the tiny vestigial wings and the small plume of feathers just above her rump. Of all the owl-like traits she had, she was far and away the most self-conscious about the fact that her wings had never grown large enough to allow her to fly. The tailfeathers that should've made her a graceful avian beyond compare just stacked insult onto injury. "Quit staring at me!" she snapped after a moment, "T-that's it, I'm changing ba…"

She froze as she felt a kiss land right between her tiny useless wings and her brain short circuited a little. Koga's arms wrapped around her waist and he rested his chin on her shoulder, "No, don't change back. I'm sorry if I stared, I've never seen an angel before."

"Angel?"

"Winged messengers from heaven," Koga explained quietly, "They're rumored to be so beautiful that mortals can't safely look upon them." He kissed her on the collarbone, "How could you possibly worry that I wouldn't like this? You look _amazing_." His hand trailed down to the soft feathers covering her legs, "Did you know that I actually really like it when girls wear stockings? Reminds me to pay attention to the legs. You've got them built in along with matching gloves… are you sure you didn't just make this form up specifically to turn me on?"

"Y-you don't mean that…" Athena protested as her mind tried to tell her he didn't. He _couldn't_ mean it, couldn't possibly find this form beautiful…she'd been so ashamed of it her whole life how could he possibly be thinking it was something she'd custom made to entice hiiiiiIM?!

"So you _are_ sensitive under here," Koga mused as he gently kissed the spot between her wings again, not at all missing the way she shook with pleasure when he ran his thumb under her wing and up the spot where it merged with the rest of her back. "I figured these didn't get enough attention… Athena-chan, let me teach you a whole new meaning to the phrase _'_ _I've got your back.'_ I think you'll enjoy it."

"W-what's this 'chan' business?" Athena asked, desperate for something to keep her rational mind in the game and not be left _completely_ at his mercy the way every inch of her body was currently screaming for her to let herself be.

"Honorific," Koga explained as he gently kissed her neck, "In our land it's rude to call someone by their name without one unless you are very close. '-Chan' is an affectionate one we use for girls we like. It can be used for just a friend who is a girl or someone closer like a female relative…or a girl you have a crush on. The male equivalent is -kun, like what Shizune-onee-chan calls me. We're not blood relatives, but her teacher is married to mine and she, along with both our teachers and their daughter are all like family to me. Hence I call her onee-chan, big sister, because that's what our relationship is like. I call you Athena-chan…" He kissed her again between the wings, this time coupling it with grasping her hand in his and running his other thumb under her wing at the same time. Athena almost lost control as he finished quietly, "…because you are now very precious to me indeed."

He was still for a moment and then he rose and swept her feet from beneath her with one arm while his other moved to catch her just below her wings and hold her close to his chest, "Let's move to the bed," he smiled, "I fully intend to make you weak enough at the knees to collapse, and that would quite ruin the moment."

Athena quietly agreed and a moment later was being laid on the bed. She reached up to pull Koga down on top of her, not even sure what she was doing but certain her instincts were right. Then Koga gently grasped her hands and kissed them before leaning down to kiss her lips, "Roll over onto your stomach 'Thena-chan, the lesson's not done yet."

Athena felt her heart skip a beat and then she rolled over. Koga positioned himself over her, not letting his weight settle upon her but holding himself above as he whispered in her ear, "Tuck your arms under the pillow. If you feel like you won't be able to avoid screaming, then you can use the pillow to muffle it if you want to."

"Why would I scream?" Athena asked warily. Koga chuckled, "To let me know I'm doing it right." Athena blushed slightly in confusion. Then Koga started his ministrations to her back and every sensitive region therein and how had she not known there were _this many_ sensitive nerve clusters back there and… "AHHH!" she cried out as a bone rattling shudder rolled through her body.

 _Oh…so that's what he meant…_ she thought hazily through the cloud of pleasure now fogging her mind. Her body felt limp as a noodle, but it wasn't frightening, if anything it felt like all the tension that she hadn't even realized was there had just been shaken right out of her. A giddy smile was plastered across her face and even as the final ripples of that wave of ecstasy lapped gently at the shores of her mind, a new thought was forming, and in mere seconds it went from a whisper in the back of her mind to screaming up from her very core: _MORE._

Then she realized his hands hadn't stopped and were moving steadily down her back. _Where is he… "EEP!"_ Athena squeaked as Koga suddenly kissed the base of her tail feathers, prompting them to shoot straight up, _SINCE WHEN DID THOSE MOVE?!_ Koga pulled his head back in surprise as the feathers slapped him in the face, then his mischievous grin returned in force as Athena blushed over her shoulder at him. "What are you-ooo-hoo-hoo! Y-you can't put your face there! It's, it's _dirtYYY!_ "

Koga was done with his hands she supposed, that _had_ to be his tongue back…down… _in that spot._ She didn't know why he was licking her there or how he knew that it would feel this damn good but despite every social convention telling her rational mind that that was _not_ a place for kisses, _especially not deep tongue kisses!_ every nerve ending in that place that Koga even lightly brushed with his tongue firmly disagreed that _oh yes the hell it was!_

Then, just as she felt another eruption of ecstasy about to burst through the dam of her control to overwhelm her again, Koga stopped and she could _hear_ that smug ass grin in his voice as he sat up and playfully instructed her to roll over. She thought about getting angry and then rolled over only to find his face suddenly level with hers, "And for the record…" he declared huskily, "I don't believe any part of you could be deemed 'dirty'." Then he kissed her and any complaints she might've had with him leaving off to make her roll over were quite forgotten as she wrapped her arms and legs around him to make sure that whatever he else he did, he _did not stop._ She wasn't even entirely sure what it was her hips were doing but whatever they were doing was grinding him into her and it felt _amazing._

Then he came up for air for a brief moment, both of them breathing heavily and then he grinned cheekily at her, "Now that we're done with the opening act, I'm going to drive you _really_ wild." Athena's eyes widened in surprise and then he kissed her cheek with a gentleness that was a _complete_ 180 from the hot and heavy wild need that had been flooding them both so much a moment before and fueling that wild kiss that had once again had her just _almost there_.

Then he pressed another of those soft strange gentle kisses to the corner of her jaw, then her neck, then he collar bone as he gently cupped her buttocks and on down to the top of her breast which excited her. Then he grinned and latched onto her nipple and started sucking on it and gently pulling at it with his lips and that wave got so close to breaking again…then he let go and smiled at her and it _clicked._ "You're driving me to the edge on purpose aren't you?" Athena asked as she pulled back from teetering on the edge of that mind destroying ecstasy.

Koga grinned, "Every time you get close and then don't, it'll make it that much stronger when you finally do. I may be near useless after mine, and I don't think it'll take you long to drive me to it, so I want to make sure you're taken care of first." So saying, he directed his attention to her other breast and drove her just almost there again, but now her excitement was building instead of confusion and a note of frustration.

Then he trailed down her stomach, traipsing his fingers gently down her ribs as his lips danced over her torso. Athena felt a surge of excitement as he neared that spot that he had proven was so wildly sensitive…then he skipped right over it and lifted her leg to gently kiss her foot. He shot a cheeky grin at her as she opened her mouth to question it, "I don't worship often, so since I'm showering my affection on you my dear goddess, allow me to cherish every inch of you eh?"

Suddenly Athena found she really didn't mind at all as he gently trailed his lips up her leg, even making sure to go with the angle of her feathers so as not to ruffle them uncomfortably. Then just when he was almost to their base, he switched to her other leg and did the same thing, subtly getting her more excited for him to finally reach that spot. This time as he drew near, she didn't wait or give him an option. Her hands shot down and all but shoved his face into her as she wrapped her legs around his shoulders. "Quit. _Teasing._ _ **ME**_ _,_ " she ground out.

Then he very enthusiastically did as she asked, and yet at the same time not. He went to work, kissing her netherlips just as fervently as he had kissed her a few moments earlier, but at the same time he was still being utterly meticulous to not let her reach that wild peak that she _knew_ he was building her up to. Part of her was excitedly anticipating it and begging him to keep going. Another part of her was going mad with need and wished he would just hurry up and _get on with it._

Then, after the third time he'd driven her just almost there, he somehow slipped free of her grip on him, sliding up to level with her again as he'd been a moment before, her hands now one around his shoulder and one on the back of his head as he smiled at her. Part of her mind registered that if her sense of touch wasn't mistaken he'd ditched his pants while she was focused on his oral ministrations. The vast majority of her mind though was entirely focused on him as he looked her in the eye and smiled gently, "Ready?"

"Yes…" she replied breathlessly as she leaned up to kiss him and then **_HOLY FUCK MOTHERING TITAN HUMPING SHITTY BARNACLES OFF A NEREIDS ASS PAIN!_** She broke off the kiss with a little gasp of agony and Koga's eyes immediately went wide with worry, "Oh crap! I'm so sorry, I thought I had you loosened up enou…mmm?"

Athena had laid a finger to his lips and wasn't meeting his gaze as the pain faded and a strange _new_ sensation echoed through her core. She blinked curiously at nothing at all as she pondered it, then she experimentally moved her hips and **_HOLY FUCK MOTHERING SATYR TITS YES!_**

The wave that she'd thought had receded to flat still water had pointedly _not_ faded. The pain had only momentarily distracted her, and now that it was gone she was free to turn her attention back to the absolute _tsunami_ of pleasure which her little jerk of her hips now brought crashing over her like an avalanche.

She wasn't even consciously moving as she snatched Koga's head back into another hot and heavy kiss, her body doing one hundred percent of the work riding out the wave of pleasure ripping through her body like it was a rodeo bull…and coincidentally mimicking those motions as her legs wrapped themselves around Koga's waist and kept stirring fresh waves that were just as high and just as wild.

Then something hot erupted within her at the very epicenter of the pleasure-quake shaking her very mind apart and that was the final push. She and Koga both collapsed into unconsciousness, she was only barely aware of Koga throwing himself sideways and pulling her over to be on top so that his weight didn't come crashing down on her as the last of his strength and consciousness left him.

…

 **END OF THE LEMON**

 **…**

 **Can you tell I had fun with this chapter yet?**

 **…**

 **YOU PEOPLE WHO DO NOT APPRECIATE LEMONS CAN START READING AGAIN NOW**

 **…**

 **YES REALLY. IT'S DONE. THE NOT-SEXY PART OF THE STORY RESUMES HERE.**

 **…**

 **In case anyone who skipped the lemon is wondering, Koga talked Athena into revealing her real form, which is not a source of instant incineration, just something she's not fond of due to being basically an owl angel with sadly underdeveloped but still extremely cute wings which she had no context for thinking was a good thing. Koga told her he thought she looked amazing that way and proceeded to prove it in a very intimate and affectionate manner.**

…

==Nine Days Later==

…

The original plan had been to sort the Trojan prisoners the morning after the sack of the city. That plan was changed without a care in the world for the impatient protests of the Greeks and when Agamemnon learned what, or rather _who_ Koga was doing that made him put it off, he turned right around and went out to organize a party in celebration of their hero/patron god's...success. The party was to go on until Koga and Lady Athena finished their own celebrations.

The party lasted over a week.

Now Koga sat at a large round table which he had raised from the stone floor with the Greek side's generals. In order starting from his right and going around the table were Agamemnon, Menelaus, Odysseus, Ajax, several middle aged to downright _old_ men, a vaguely psychotic looking guy who couldn't have been older than sixteen, several more middle aged to downright old men including one _very_ old man who Koga had been told was named Nestor, a few more middle aged men, and then Arkantos directly to Koga's left.

Koga had aged himself up to his late twenties, making him still one of the youngest men at the table, but at least not a kid. The way he was letting his chakra flicker around him like purple flames was intentional and served its purpose of reminding everyone there that they had only succeeded so phenomenally because of his intervention.

Agamemnon rose and cleared his throat, "My friends, fellow Achaeans, Admiral Arkantos of Atlantis and honored Lord Koga, thank you all for meeting with us here today, and thank you all for your aid. This has been a long and costly war, but at long last we have won. Queen Helen has been restored to her husband. The vile Trojans who offended every notion of honor and abducted her are slain. Their nation is no more, our coffers will be filled with its riches, and our lands tended by its people at our command."

"Yeah, speaking of that…" the psychotic looking kid asked in a voice that gave Koga immediate bad vibes, "…where _are_ the people? I was really looking forward to spilling some blood to avenge my father's death! Did some traitor warn them we'd be able to get in? Let me have 'em, I'll tear 'em apart!"

"No Neoptolemus," Agamemnon replied, "Lord Koga took the liberty of removing them from our path much the way he did their walls so that our army could take the city unimpeded and without risk of ambush."

The now named Neoptolemus leapt up and jabbed a finger at Koga, "AHA! SO YOU'RE THE REASON I DIDN'T GET TO KILL ANYBODY!"

Koga looked at him flatly and then looked around the table, "Anyone want to tell me who this is?"

"Neoptolemus," Agamemnon explained, "the son of Achilles."

Koga looked at him with a politely raised eyebrow of disbelief, "Was Achilles usually this dumb?"

The resounding chorus of " **YES.** " said a lot about the supposedly greatest warrior Greece had ever produced.

"YOU BASTARDS!" Neoptolemus shouted as his hand went to his sword, "I'LL KILL YOU ALL! BLOOD'S BLOOD AND IF I CAN'T KILL TROJANS I'LL SETTLE FOR Y-" zzzz-CRACK- ** _BOOOM!_**

Koga lowered his smoking hand with a flat look as Neoptolemus's smoldering and flash cooked corpse collapsed with the roar of the thunderclap that rocked the room, "Anybody got a problem with that?"

There were a lot of heads shaking no. Of course, given that Koga had just shot a lightning bolt across the table without batting an eye, he didn't really expect anyone to protest. He nodded, "Good, then if someone would please remove that? Freshly cooked human is _not_ a pleasant smell."

Two guards immediately hauled the corpse out.

Koga nodded, "That being done, as King Agamemnon has said, I have sealed away the people of Troy into the darkness of my cloak. I will not keep them there as they will not survive many days in my shadow. _However,_ " he added, his gaze now taking on a sharp and fearsome aspect, "while I respect that you all wish to take slaves home with you to tend your lands, clean your homes and warm your beds," a look of mild disgust flitted across his face, "know that slavery is abhorrent to me, and I will _not_ deliver the virtuous or the innocent into chains. I have seen the hearts of each man, woman and child of Troy, and with the aid of Lady Athena and the ghost of Achilles, they have been sorted. I will deliver those who are loathsome of character or guilty of wickedness unto you that you might not return home without your prize of slaves. For _their_ fates, I have no care."

Everyone blinked at him in confusion and then, "You spoke with Achilles?" Ajax asked in surprise, his gaze wandering over to where Neoptolemus had sat.

"He held no love for Neoptolemus and was quite surprised to learn that he even _had_ a son," Koga replied bluntly, "He had fully intended to marry Briseis, who Athena and I sent on to Elysium to be with him, and after observing Neoptolemus he declared the boy to be lacking in honor and unworthy of bearing his blood. So probably riiight… abooout… _now_ he's getting to tell him in person. If you happen to hear faint yelps of pain…" he grinned, "I suspect that's the sound of Achilles giving his misbegotten brat a well deserved whooping." The entire congregation laughed.

Then Koga's chakra pulsed and brought a wave of sobriety upon them, "Now before we commence with the dispersal of your prizes, there is one more matter of utmost seriousness which we must address…"

His chakra roared to the size and intensity of a bonfire so that he was little more than a silhouette within it, his eyes glowing with crimson hate, " _BRING ME THE LIAR CALLED CALCHAS WHO WOULD SEE INNOCENTS SLAUGHTERED BY YOUR HAND FOR HIS OWN AMUSEMENT, WHO HAS BROUGHT NOTHING BUT PLAGUES AND DESPAIR UPON YOU WITH THE VERY TRUST YOU PLACED IN HIM._ _ **I WILL MOUNT HIS HEAD ON A PIKE BEFORE THIS DAY IS OUT!**_ _"_

Had a pin been dropped, it would've sounded like a mountain being rent in half in the ensuing silence.

Then, his chakra aura disappearing, Koga turned to the utterly thunderstruck Agamemnon with a friendly smile as nearly every guard in the room bolted to fetch the supposed seer, "Also, I almost forgot in my excitement and with everything else that's been going on, Iphigenia says hi. She's alive, healthy, and mad as a hornet. She should be almost back to Mycenae by now, and when you get there, she is _definitely_ going to slap you. King Menelaus, she fully intends to beat you over the head with a very large stick when she sees you again. Prepare yourself _because I will make sure she gets to._ "

Agamemnon slumped into his seat, looking thoroughly mortified as the memory of his daughter who he thought had been sacrificed for a good wind for the fleet to Troy on the words of a seer of no great renown or reputation. Menelaus for his part grew very pale as he realized that the girl, no the _niece_ whose death he had agitated so eagerly for had survived and was, very righteously he realized, _PISSED._ More than that he realized, he was going to have to explain that to Helen…Helen who had absolutely adored the niece in question.

Then he turned to Odysseus with a flat glare, "Also, Odysseus, _I oughta beat you myself for being so taken in by that damned liar_. I thought you were better than that. Be grateful that Lady Artemis has long since written off all men as idiots or she probably would've been a lot more upset."

His gaze scanned the table, "And for anyone who thought that killing a young maiden to honor the goddess who _very specifically protects young maidens_ was in any way shape, form or fashion a good idea, I say that Lady Artemis is correct: **_YOU. ARE._** **IDIOTS!** _"_ he roared.

As quite a few of the men at the table, none more than Odysseus, sank low in their seats feeling very ashamed of themselves, Koga continued, "Be sure to pass that along to your men along with the knowledge that Calchas was the one responsible for that unnatural calm by offending Lord Aeolus in declaring that farts were his breath. The only reason the winds started back up and blew you here was because the gods were beyond ready to see some idiots get skewered."

Silence reigned as the Greek leaders fidgeted in embarrassment.

A few moments later the guards returned dragging the very bedraggled form of Calchas. They threw him to the floor and Koga immediately rose to his feet, murderous hate twisting his features as his chair crashed to the ground behind him. The entire congregation watched in fearful silence as he stalked around the table towards Calchas, his chakra blazing in a fearful purple aura around him. Before their eyes, he changed. One step he was a man, the next it was a great black cat stalking towards the drunken false seer.

Said drunken false seer had only a moment to realize what was coming for him before Koga was upon him. The ensuing execution, for it could be termed nothing else, was even more vicious and brutal than what Menelaus had done to Deiphobus. Where Deiphobus had been, there were body parts and blood stains. Where Calchas had been, there was only ash as Koga spewed fire upon the splattered and shredded remains to ensure there was nothing left.

Then Koga was himself again, idly straightening his lapels as he turned a glowing red glare upon the Greek leaders from beneath the roiling cloud of purplish black chakra that obscured his face, "The gods have unanimously decreed that his soul will receive no trial. He is going straight into the clutches of those most frightful three who supervise the Fields of Punishment. I hear they're… _excited._ "

A shudder rippled through the Greek leaders. As bad as his death had been, they knew that Calchas's suffering was only beginning.

"For someone who just spent a week making love to a goddess, you'd think he'd be a little happier," Ajax muttered to Odysseus.

Then he felt a chill run down his spine as Koga's crimson gaze landed upon him with a terrifying smile visible even through the largely opaque cloud of chakra that masked him, "Oh I assure you Ajax, I could _not_ be happier right now. I just finished spending a week making love to a goddess, I got to scrub a stain off the face of humanity with the assurance that it's going straight to an eternity of punishment, and I'm about to deliver an entire city's worth of scum into a fate that I would consider worse than death. I am having a _very_ good day."

 _How did I forget how scary this kid is?_ Everyone who knew him wondered.

…

 **END CHAPTER**

 **…**

 **AN:** _And that's a wrap ladies and gents! Chapter 19 is done! Hip-hip-hooray this story made 100,000 words today!_

 _In celebration of that, I am answering questions. If anyone has any questions about the story thus far, please leave them in a comment or shoot me a message, and I will post the answers at the start of Chapter 20, which will feature the end of the "Trojan War & Aftermath" Arc and the start of the next leg of the journey along with the introduction of our lead villain for the next eight or so arcs._

 _Also, I'm posting a poll:_

 ** _Who do you want to see Koga bring in over the next few arcs?_**

 ** _Options are:_** _Kakashi, Itachi, Might Guy, Izumi (in which case Itachi will join as well), Jiraiya, Anko_

 _He won't bring anyone from his own age group because they're not ready for the kind of madness that will occur over the next few arcs, and he won't bring Tsunade because he's already brought in Shizune who is not nearly so likely to pulverize him (and also needs some time out from under Tsunade's shadow)_


	21. Ch20: Koga's Lost Days P3: Heading Home

Chapter 20: Koga's Lost Days Pt3: Heading Home

…

The Day After The Sorting of The Trojans

…

Hiruzen's attention snapped to his trusty old file cabinet as the top drawer slid itself open. Then Koga's head popped up over the edge of its face, "Hey Lord Third?"

Hiruzen blinked in confusion and then decided not to ponder Koga's choice of appearance, "Yes Koga?"

"Can I bring a friend to visit the village?" Koga asked, "She's never met a shinobi before me and wants to see how we live."

Hiruzen raised an eyebrow, "Never met a shinobi?"

Koga nodded, "Mmhmm. She's from really far to the west, a land where they've never even heard of shinobi or chakra. A few hundred miles north of where my summon leopards live."

Hiruzen considered it for a moment, "Can she be trusted?"

Koga blinked, "I trust her, and its not like she has anything to gain from deceiving us. We're far beyond her sphere of influence. She won't even be here in person, she can't leave her homeland. She's sending a Shadow Clone."

Hiruzen frowned, "Can't leave her homeland?"

Koga nodded, "She's not human."

Hiruzen blinked in shock, "Come again?"

"She's a being formed entirely of senjutsu chakra," Koga explained, "She's tied to the land irreversibly. The further she goes from where she was born, the weaker she gets. Coming this far in person would kill her."

Hiruzen pondered that for a moment, "I've never heard of such a thing…"

Koga smiled, "Actually you have. You and I may be god _like_ in power, but she actually is."

"You mean that she is as strong as you?" Hiruzen asked with a concerned frown, "And you wish to bring her, _here?"_

Koga laughed, "Oh no, no." Hiruzen breathed a sigh of relief which was immediately reversed into a sharp worried intake of breath that had him nearly choking on his smoke as Koga declared with a smile, "She's _way_ stronger than me. Think a very clever Bijuu in human form."

Hiruzen finally managed to quit coughing, "And you want to bring her here _why?!"_

"Because she's amazing and wonderful and I've met her family and she wants to meet mine?" Koga replied innocently, genuine confusion about Hiruzen's reluctance coloring his voice and expression.

Hiruzen blinked and then horror dawned on him, "You're in love again?!"

Koga pouted at him, "You say that like its some horrible omen. It led to very good things last time didn't it?" Hiruzen thought about it and Koga continued, "Besides, I'm not _in_ love although I do love her. If that makes sense."

"Elaborate?" Hiruzen asked dryly.

Koga frowned flatly at him, "Are you seriously telling me that you've ever slept with a woman who _didn't_ leave a mark on your heart?"

Hiruzen choked on his smoke again, " _YOU SLEPT WITH HER?!"_

Koga utterly glowed with pride as he grinned from ear to ear, "For a _WEEK STRAIGHT! IT WAS_ _ **AWESOME!**_ _"_

Hiruzen promptly fainted.

Koga blinked at him, then he grinned, "He didn't say no!"

…

A Few Moments Later

…

Hiruzen came to and found an aged-up Koga sitting in the chair across from his desk with a beautiful young woman next to him. She looked to be in her late teens and had silvery-blue eyes with golden hair tied in two tufts on the back of her head that vaguely resembled wings while the rest cascaded down to her shoulders. She wore a simple knee length white kimono with silver embroidered flowers on the sleeves under a layer of what looked very much like the light armor favored by many kunoichi (a band of light metal around the torso with matching greaves and vambraces) and leather sandals. She had an intelligent and slightly mischievous look in her eyes, a calmly bold grin and she carried herself with the air of confidence that Hiruzen knew denoted someone who was almost foreign to the concept of not getting their way.

Koga smiled, "Lord Hokage, allow me to introduce Athena, known in the land of Greece and surrounding environs as the Goddess of Wisdom, Battle and Crafts along with a lot of other important stuff. If she were native to this land, I've no doubt that she would be regarded as the patron Goddess of Shinobi as well. 'Thena-chan, this is Lord Hiruzen Sarutobi, Third Hokage of Konoha and renowned across the continent as a god of shinobi. His authority in Konoha is as absolute as that of a king, and he is one of the few people in these lands with power comparable to mine. His skill, experience and wisdom wholly outclass me though, and I respect him very much."

The woman he called Athena nodded and inclined her head slightly and began to speak. It was a little disconcerting because Hiruzen could _hear_ her speaking in a foreign language, it was faint but it was there, but overlaid onto her voice was, _her exact same voice speaking normally._ "It is an honor to meet you Lord Hiruzen. I'm sorry I cannot be here in person, but as Koga no doubt explained, I cannot travel this far from my home except as a clone. Thank you for opening your village to me so that I may learn of your people's ways. They are…thoroughly interesting," she smiled.

"She's immortal and a few hundred years old, that's about the highest compliment you can get from her," Koga informed him, "And yeah, I'm using my jutsu to translate for her."

Hiruzen took a moment to process all of that and then took it in stride and nodded graciously with a smile, "It is an honor to meet you as well Lady Athena. Welcome to Konohagakure. Is there anything you require for your visit?"

Athena shook her head with a smile, "No, though I thank you for your hospitality Lord Hokage. I will be highly content to drink in sights that I have never had the pleasure of seeing before and learn of a culture so different from what I am used to. Koga-kun tells me that he is quite literally everywhere here, so I trust you will have no issues with him acting as my tour guide?"

Hiruzen nodded after a moment, "Yes of course. Koga, you know the rules for foreign dignitaries. I trust you will abide by them."

Koga nodded, "Of course Lord Hokage. My clones will of course be here if you wish to discuss any further matters."

"Are you here in person now?" Hiruzen asked.

Koga shook his head as he rose, "I am still in the ruins of the great city known as Troy, we are currently preparing to set sail for a great hub of civilization in the west known as Atlantis. Should trade be possible, I will certainly strive to make it happen, although it would be a very long journey."

"A little over ten thousand miles if you fly," Athena added helpfully.

Koga blinked at her, "Wow. I didn't realize I was _that_ far from home…Maybe I should look into making a stable space-time transport seal…That would speed things up…"

Before he could get lost in thought, Athena looped her arm through his and laid a hand on his shoulder, immediately earning his full attention, "How about you show me your home town before you start worrying about the logistics of international trade?"

Koga smiled fondly at her and cheerfully led her out.

As soon as he was sure they were out of earshot, Hiruzen asked the multiple invisible clones in the room, "You made love to _that_ for a _week straight?_ "

"Nine days to be precise, and I was as much her first as she was mine," Koga replied with a grin as another of his clones appeared in the chair he'd occupied a moment earlier.

The room was silent for a moment and then Hiruzen and the ANBU hidden throughout the room began clapping.

…

Meanwhile, The Trojan Coast

…

"Hey Arkantos," Ajax said cheerfully, "I know a port near here where you can get your ships fixed up before you head back to Atlantis."

Arkantos turned a rictus grin on him, "You don't think they can make it back to Atlantis?"

The keel of the ship behind him promptly snapped in half and as the hull all but shattered, the ship sank like a rock into the relatively shallow bay almost as if some god were mocking him. Arkantos tried very hard to conceal the embarrassed sweat as he heard the ship's keel snapping and his men howling and cursing in frustration.

Ajax tried, and failed, to hide his smile. He did (narrowly) manage not to laugh though as he replied, " _Noooo…"_

Arkantos hung his head with a grimace, "Alright, which way? SHADDUP AGAMEMNON!" he shouted at the Mycenaean king (and company) howling with laughter and pointing at him a few ships over. Agamemnon's response? Laughing harder and a bit of knee slapping.

Even Ajax couldn't hide his sniggers anymore. Koga just sighed in exasperation as he moved the supplies from the ship's hold to shore before they could get completely waterlogged and smiled wanly.

…

In Konoha

…

Athena's Shadow Clone strolled down the streets of Konoha, a bright and constant smile on her face as she drank in the sights and sounds. She couldn't understand the language itself very well yet, but with the ability she had to hear the intent of people's words and the centuries of experience she had playing with codes and puzzles to solve her boredom, she was quickly picking it up. Koga had disappeared to go check on his friends, but she could tell from the little sparks of his spirit that liberally littered the area that he was still very much present.

Then she paused and blinked in surprise as she noticed a little girl in orange and black with blonde hair who looked remarkably similar to Helen of Sparta with longer hair tied up in two pigtails walking down the street with her hands in her pockets and a scowl on her face as she glared at the ground. Most of the crowd were pointedly avoiding her, but no less than a dozen sparks of Koga's spirit were perched on her head. It looked almost like a crown of purple jewels nestled in the bushy golden hair even though Athena knew the mortals around her couldn't see it. She would even wager that the ones Koga had pointed out who could see spiritual energy were incapable of spotting the spirit sparks. He'd mentioned something about them being too small for the White-eyed clan to spot although Athena thought they must be blind to not notice such potent energy at _any_ size. _Of course,_ she realized, _I am a lot more attuned to mental energy than basically anyone else…_

Athena paused to examine the girl as she stalked by, completely oblivious to the world around her through the fog of frustration roiling off her, and Koga's reaction to seeing Queen Helen played over in her mind. "Is that…?"

"Yep," Koga's voice sounded directly in her ear, too quiet for anyone but her to hear, "She…didn't take our break up well. She's been trying everything she can to get my attention, that's why I've got so much extra protection around her."

"What's she been doing?" Athena asked.

"Eh…first she pulled pranks, when that didn't work, she started trying to act very badly…breaking every rule she could think of, offending every notion of dignity and rightness and generally just being a repulsive little _bitch_ to everyone. I swear her sister's gotta be a saint to put up with her as well as she does. She tried flirting with other guys but that didn't work because everyone here is scared of what I'll do to them if they hurt her. She tried flirting with older guys and even grown men who weren't aware of the danger I pose, but they all laughed her off or "mysteriously dropped dead" with smoke roiling out their ears if they even tried reciprocating. Unfortunately, that put the idea into her head that I'd respond to her being in danger, so she's tried knives, poison, hanging, drowning, and jumping off the Hokage Monument."

Athena's eyes widened and her jaw dropped in shock, "And you did…?"

"Absolutely nothing because I took the precaution of making her basically indestructible before all this started. All physical impacts bounce off her and any blades used against her are automatically blunted. She bounced for almost twenty minutes after she jumped off the monument. Any significant electrical charge is dissipated and dispersed if it gets within an inch of her, so lightning can't hurt her. Poison is automatically expelled from her body, water turns to air upon entering her windpipe, and flames and cold can't harm her. Thankfully she hasn't tried that yet. That would be really hard to watch without pulling out a stick and some marshmallows just to laugh at her expression," Koga replied.

"Stick and marshmallows?" Athena asked warily.

"Campfire tradition in this part of the world for casual camping," Koga replied, "Marshmallows are soft white candies that you can put on a stick and toast over a fire. I've never been a fan of them, but most people are. If she set herself on fire it would be completely useless and she'd just be sitting there wondering why it wasn't even feeling hot, then she'd probably hear me sniggering at her because I would _not_ be able to resist teasing her with the whole toasting marshmallows thing."

"And you're going to all this trouble to ignore her _why?"_ Athena asked.

"If she doesn't think it's working then she'll stop and…I _hope_ she'll stop trying to get my attention all together and just _move on,_ " Koga replied wearily, "She doesn't need a person like me in her life. As far as I can tell it's been nothing but bad for her. I can't keep spoiling her, but at the same time, if I had realized she would turn out like _this_ , I never would've started. So now I'm trying to keep out of her affairs as much as I can without letting her endanger herself. She needs to learn to stand on her own feet instead of just piggybacking off me."

He sighed, "I'd fake my death if I could, but nobody here would believe for even a second that something had managed to kill me off, and she unfortunately knows that I have a way to circumvent my death even in the event that something _does_ manage to kill me."

Athena raised an eyebrow, "I want to hear more about that later, but first, would you mind if _I_ take a shot at talking to her? I have…not a small amount of experience dealing with hot-headed demigods who feel like their godly parents should be paying more attention to them."

"I'm not her…" Koga stopped short, "…point to you, but please stop bringing it up. It makes me feel like an old creep to think about how much of that role I was filling for her."

"Then I'll make you feel like a young stallion tonight," Athena replied calmly with a small wry smile, "Just don't interfere while I'm talking her around, and if you're having doubts, then let me remind you what I'm the Goddess _of_ and show you how I got the title."

…

A Little While Later, A Secluded Park Bench

…

Naruko looked up as Athena sat down next to her. Two quick sniffs later and she scowled, "So I guess you're Koga's new girlfriend huh?" Athena blinked in surprise, of all the things she'd been expecting, that wasn't it. Naruko sighed and explained, "I can smell him all over you."

Athena resisted the urge to sniff herself, "We're not dating, but yes we are close."

"So you had a one night stand with him?" Naruko asked dryly, "Don't try to hide it, I can smell that too. Koga, _I know you're listening:_ **You're an asshole.** "

Koga didn't respond, but Athena raised an eyebrow as she observed calmly, "You seem quite upset with him."

"Upset? _OF COURSE I'M UPSET!"_ Naruko snapped as she immediately turned beet red, "He pulled me out of the gutter, made me feel like a princess, let me fall in love with him and then he just suddenly starts hiding things from me and then _dumps me like expired milk! Why the hell shouldn't I be upset?!_ "

"Probably because he's trying his level damnedest to protect you from himself," Athena replied calmly.

 _That_ caught Naruko off guard, "Huh?"

Athena smiled sadly, "Do you understand what he's done to himself?"

Naruko went stiff and Athena smiled gently, "Sweety, in throwing away your mortality you lose something _very_ important. How old do you think I am?"

Naruko looked her over and then, "Physically, your late teens. Mentally, I'm going to guess a lot older judging by the fact that you're talking about immortality like you know something about it."

Athena smiled, "You're a sharp girl. Yes, I will actually be five hundred years old next summer. My people are incredibly long lived. So yes, I'm…rather familiar with the issue he's facing."

"And…what issue is that?" Naruko asked, now decidedly more nervous than she'd been a moment previously.

Athena smiled, "The fact that he has the mind of someone over, how old Koga?"

"Physically? I'm nine years old." Koga's disembodied voice replied before adding quietly, "Mentally? The number of years experienced by my aggregated consciousness is... _incalculable_. Even for me, and that's saying something. Every day is equal to a few million for me since I watch over every living person in the Land of Fire, and a significant portion of quite a few other countries besides with my acquisition rate growing _by the minute_."

He was quiet for a moment as that sank in. Even Athena looked a little stunned at the information. Then Koga continued quietly, "If I didn't have the House's archive directly linked to my mind to help me store and process the information, I would've completely drowned in data within the first week. My mind and soul would've been completely lost, a single drop of water lost within the interminable vastness of the ocean. It wouldn't have just killed me, it would've completely _erased me,_ and it would've done it in a way that even I wouldn't be able to come back from _._ "

"Chino wasn't wrong when she called me a hive mind," Koga continued quietly, "This, original persona, the Koga that I was before I unlocked this power, it's only a teeny tiny little facet of my overall existence now. My mind has become a massive bureaucracy of a sentience. I'm not sure I even count as human anymore…I honestly don't think I do." he whispered quietly.

He made a light chuffing sound, "I don't _think_ like a human. I'm virtually indestructible on top of being able to heal at near instantaneous speeds with no drawbacks even in the event that I _am_ injured, and even if this body is killed, if my Rebirth System works, then another will be formed as good as new while my seals power the continued presence of my awareness, and it will quickly be as though I was never killed at all. On top of that, my effective omnipresence allows me to execute attacks and jutsu comparable to what would take even masters a few hand signs at a caliber that they'd be lucky to achieve _once_ , in an instant, and without any tells. I can launch them from anywhere, _at any time_ , and thanks to my training and the seals you and Jiraiya-sensei helped me craft, if my power _has_ an upper limit, _I honestly do not know it._ "

Silence reigned for what seemed like a long time. After all, what possible comeback could there be to _that?_

Then Koga broke the silence, "One other thing 'Ruko-chan…" Naruko immediately felt as though her heart were clenched in ice. That was the first time he'd called her that since they'd broken up, and in this circumstance, she knew it _could NOT_ be a good thing.

"The purpose of this jutsu is to neutralize _all_ threats," Koga said quietly, "Once I have prepared ways to neutralize any and all threats to my home and those I care about? I'm entrusting my arsenal to someone else and _shutting myself down_. Once I finish, _I will die._ The Rebirth System has not been tested, and even if it works, I don't know that the Reset Protocol, which is the only way I'll be able to come back without the same problems, will work even if the Rebirth System does. There is a very real chance that in a few months, which is my estimated completion time…you're going to lose me one way or another. That's why I'm so desperate for you to stop depending on me and learn to stand on your own, because soon, you won't have a choice. I can't go on like this, sooner or later I'll go completely and utterly mad, and even if the entire world united to confront me..." he was quiet for a moment, "There is nobody I've found yet who would actually be able to _stop me."_

He sighed, "Ideally, I'll finish, shut down, and then the Rebirth System and Reset Protocol will restore me to the day before I deployed Plague Sentience with the knowledge of what it'll do to me. When that happens, I hope we can start trying to patch things up. Until then? Brace yourself, because we may not get that chance."

Silence reigned again.

This time it was Naruko who broke the silence with a whisper that was on the verge of horrified tears, "That's why you broke up with me?"

"No," Koga replied flatly, "I broke up with you because you were acting like a stuck up, short tempered, spoiled ass little _bitch._ " Naruko flinched like he had slapped her and he continued quietly, "I…wanted to keep you by my side right up until the end…but…that was selfish of me. Now that I've, got a little distance, I can see things a little more clearly. It's gonna hurt you when I go, I don't think I'm overestimating the connection we made when I say that, but if you wanted to hate me when I went, it might've softened the blow."

"Actually, the regret of not having patched things up when she could have would've salted the wound and dragged her even further into despair. Now you two can start mending your relationship and if things go badly then she'll have been properly warned," Athena corrected him calmly before smiling, "Aren't you glad I got you two to talk about this?"

Naruko and Koga both stared at her for a moment and then…

"Son of a bitch," Koga swore, "So _that's_ what it's like to be on the receiving end of that…"

…

Ten Minutes Later

…

Chino bounced out of the bushes and actually stopped to pant. This immediately drew the attention of Tsubaki, Tenten, Neji and Leelee. Shinobi did not get short on breath unless they were pushing themselves to their absolute limits, something which anyone who trained with Might Guy was completely used to, or they were suffering emotional distress strong enough to throw their breathing off rhythm.

The four immediately moved to check on Chino only for Chino to raise a finger. They paused and gave her the requested minute. Chino got her breathing back under control and straightened up, settling her breathing that last little bit with a sigh before she declared, "Okay, three, no…four things."

She raised a finger, "Number one, I think Koga's back from his vacation, at least a little bit. He's here enough to be talking to people."

She forestalled the flood of questions by raising a second finger, "Number two, there's someone new in the village. Koga brought her and she's smart enough to outsmart _him_." Any questions they might've had about the exciting first were cut stunned short by the impossible second.

The third finger, "Number three, I think he's actually patching up his relationship with Naruko and she seems to have finally understood how awful she was being as well as how not to be." Tsubaki spat a curse, Tenten breathed a sigh of relief, and Neji handed Leelee twenty ryo.

Chino took a breath, steeled herself, "And number four…Koga's dying."

Stunned silence reigned for _three_ full minutes.

Then the unified shout shook the trees nearby, "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!"

Chino nodded, "You know how he uses his clones to amplify the amount of information he can gather to insane amounts? Apparently we _vastly_ underestimated how many he's got. If what he said is true, then it's not just a few dozen…it's several thousand if not _more._ He said he's got one following every person in the Land of Fire as well as significant portions of several other countries, and there's no telling how many he's got processing all that. If I understood him right, he's expecting to have a full catalogue of the abilities of every shinobi and samurai, everyone who he thinks could constitute a threat in the Elemental Nations, as well as how to beat them, _within a few months_."

The protests and questions died in their throats at the sheer enormity of that as Chino continued quietly, "He said the sheer overload nearly obliterated his mind, and he's afraid it'll drive him crazy if he lets it keep piling up. So he's…he's planning to reset his mind to the day before he started using his clones like that. He thinks the only way he can do that is to die and resurrect himself, and since genjutsu don't work on him...he's probably right."

She was quiet for a second, "He says he has a way to pull it off, but he hasn't tested it yet, so he doesn't know if it'll work. He says if the second part of whatever he's planning to do doesn't work, then it'll be just as bad as if he hadn't done it at all, or worse. The thing is though?" She gulped slightly, "I don't think he cares. He…he sounds ready to die."

"What?!" Tsubaki almost shrieked indignantly, "He can't be ready to die! He's just a kid like us! He's got way too much life to live! He can't die!"

"You think I don't know that?!" Chino snapped, "It's insane!"

"Not as crazy as you might think," declared the withered old man who had been sitting on the park bench nearby the whole time. He was wearing a dark fedora and coat over beaten up shinobi clothes. He had gloves on as well as a white scarf wrapped around the lower half of his face while dark glasses obscured his eyes. A mess of wispy white hair, thick even in old age, peeked from beneath the brim of the hat.

Tsubaki and Chino both immediately rounded on him with matching death glares. "Care to repeat that?" Tsubaki snarled.

The old man lifted his hat from his head and then reached up to tug down the scarf that had obscured his face. He pulled off the dark glasses and the last puzzle piece slid into place. "Physically nine," Koga declared, "But mentally, this is only a fraction of the age I feel."

He smiled at them as warmly as he could and it was awful how his whole face seemed to be one giant wrinkle, "A single day for me is over a thousand years' worth of memories, and I've been living like this for over five months." He slumped on the bench, "I feel so old… I can't even tell how many years' worth of life I've taken in. It's well over a hundred million. So yes," he declared as his gaze rose to meet theirs, "I feel quite ready for this existence of mine to end, one way or another. I never truly sleep anymore you know, my jutsu keeps racing new information through my mind to be processed at absolutely all hours. It's amazing that I haven't _lost_ my mind yet."

He raised a hand to look at it, "I feel like my body should've withered away to dust so very long ago…if I didn't need to finish, I would've slammed the reset button ages ago and the consequences be damned. You can't fathom this kind of weariness until you've experienced it. I want so, so badly to just be able to rest…just fall asleep and never wake back up." He swallowed weakly, "The only way I can get my rest is to reset my mind and erase this weariness. It's doable, and my odds of success are actually very good. I've never tested the system on a human, but all the lab rats I've tried it with were alright. If I succeed," he said quietly, "This'll be the biggest medical advancement in history. Thank you Tsubaki."

Tsubaki blinked in surprise and then it hit her like a freight train what he was planning to do, "WAIT! YOU'RE PLANNING ON USING _THAT?! ARE YOU INSANE?!"_

"Jury's still out on that one," Koga replied, "Like I said, plenty of tests on animals, just none on humans. Now that I think about it though…" His eyes flashed purple as he glanced away, "You're quite right Tsubaki-chan." He grinned, " _I don't have to wait._ The test begins _now._ "

"For the record," he continued, "I fully expect this to work. However, I must thank you again Tsubaki-chan, I never would've thought about it with all the mental overload if you hadn't brought it up. So thank you," he repeated with a smile, "This shouldn't take long."

Tsubaki stared at him for a second and then, "You're producing the clone without waiting to die first…"

Koga nodded, "That's right."

Chino, Leelee and Neji looked at Tsubaki and Tenten who had a look of rapidly dawning comprehension on her face. "Clone?" Neji asked.

"A living clone technique he inherited not long before you all met me," Tsubaki explained, "It takes time to grow the body, but once it's complete, the body can survive on its own as a fully independent living person. I'm guessing you've found a way to accelerate the growth process?"

Koga nodded, "The body can be grown to any set point prior to its…activation. The only requirement is enough chakra to fuel the growth, but you know as well as anyone that that's no problem for me. You're catching onto all this remarkably quickly, would you like to be my lab assistant? Or, partner in research I suppose would be a more fitting term…" he mused.

Tsubaki stared at him for a moment and then, "On three conditions."

Koga sat forward smiling, "I'm listening."

Tsubaki walked over to him, "Before I tell you, change back to your physical form. Even if this is how you feel, you won't for much longer, so change back." Koga did and Tsubaki grinned, "Condition the first, I get to be your new girlfriend, and I want just as much priority as Naruko."

Koga nodded, "Done. I'm not getting back together with Naruko yet anyway. She still needs to learn how to stand on her own two feet rather than riding on my back. That hasn't changed, so you actually get _more_ priority than her now. At least until she gets her act together, you won't have to worry about it."

Tsubaki grinned from ear to ear and leaned in to whisper the next condition in his ear. Koga blushed crimson and agreed as Tsubaki straightened back up. "And last and most importantly, condition number three…" she declared before clasping his face in her hands and looking him straight in the eye, " _SURVIVE._ "

Koga smiled, "I think I can do that."

Chino sighed at the scene and looked at Tenten, "I really wish I could protest and grab him myself, but I can't deny for an instant that she deserves him more after talking him around like that."

Tenten bit her lip, "Mmhmm…" then she sighed, "Hey Koga, even if you're not getting back together with her, will you at least stop giving Naruko the cold shoulder? She's been a real handful lately and I'd really appreciate it if you could do something to get her to quit pulling insane stunts to get your attention. I'm way too young to be getting this damn many gray hairs."

"Already been tackled," Koga replied with a weary smile, "I think she's over it, but I'm not sure how she's going to take…" A mildly ear-rending shriek ripped through the park, "…yeah that. It is a _really_ good thing I reinforced the shit out of that seal." He was quiet for a second, "Wow, she's…actually got a handle on it. I think that may be the angriest I've ever seen her, but she's actually not getting violent about it…Oh no, no, wait…I take it back. She's headed this way."

Everyone blinked and then Tsubaki smirked, "Tenten, do you mind if I whoop your little sisters' ass?"

Tenten thought about it for a minute then sighed, "I should really be saying I do, but honestly I think she needs to learn how to deal with the consequences of her actions. Just don't go _too_ overboard pounding her. I've been on the receiving end of your hits before, and I _know_ what they feel like. Sheee…"

"Has no idea what she's in for?" Tsubaki finished with a smirk.

"Yeah that," Tenten sighed.

"Should I mention that she's impervious to blunt force trauma?" Koga asked.

Everyone looked at him, " _What?_ "

"Along with knives, fire, water, cold, poison, lightning…eh, pretty much everything I could think of," Koga admitted, "I couldn't risk her doing something stupid and damaging her seal, so I made sure there was nothing in the world she could do that would actually _be_ stupid enough to damage it. I recommend Wood Release Silent Binding as restraining her is about all you'll be able to do to her. I could modify the seal, but I can't do it in the next sixty seconds."

Then Naruko walked out of the trees, her hands raised peacefully, "I'm not here to fight Tsubaki, I just want to talk."

Tsubaki nodded, still tense and ready to fight at the drop of a hat, "I'm listening."

Naruko glanced around at the others, "Can…we go somewhere a little more private? This…I don't feel comfortable saying it in front of everyone. This…this is just between me and you."

Tsubaki eyed her warily and then her posture relaxed slightly, "That's fine. Koga-kun? Give us some space."

Koga nodded, "I'll watch but I won't listen, and I'll make sure you're not disturbed." He tilted his head, "The dock over that way is nice and quiet right now."

Tsubaki raised an eyebrow, "There's a dock over there?"

Koga nodded, "It was one of the Second Hokage's favorite places to hide. Nobody can find it without the right seal to drop the Veil around it."

…

A Few Minutes Later

…

Naruko sat down on the edge of the dock, dangling her feet over the edge as she gazed out at the still little pond. Tsubaki leaned against the post behind her.

"You know," Naruko said quietly, "If I had to choose anyone to take my place, I honestly would've picked you. I _know_ you're sincere."

Tsubaki almost fell off the dock in surprise. Naruko didn't notice though and plowed on, "It's actually kind of funny you know? I always knew from the first time I saw him and your dad fussing over you, if I ever gave you an inch…you'd take the whole thing and I'd never get him back." She sat forward and looked her reflection in the eye, "He told me one time that he thought other girls would be jealous of me. He thought I was smart and sweet and beautiful and talented, so he thought everyone would hate me because I'd be a constant reminder of everything they were never going to be."

She couldn't meet her own gaze anymore and looked up at the opposite shore, "He told me to not even bother worrying about the people who would be jealous of me for that. He said that they were nothing but ugly little cockroaches at heart who weren't even worth knowing." She sighed through her nose, "So, I guess I'm an ugly little cockroach."

She shot a dull glare over her shoulder at Tsubaki, "Make no mistake Tsubaki, I hate you. You're everything I should have been, everything he wants and everything I wish I was. I know I haven't got any right to hate you for being the better person," she added as she looked away again, "But hate doesn't need a reason, and as much jealousy and hate as I have for you…" She paused for a second, "I hate myself a lot more for letting this happen."

She put her face in her hands, "I _had him! He was MINE! Nobody else's and I…I all but threw him away!_ " She wrapped her arms around her knees as she pulled them up, "I…he thought I was smart, why was I such an idiot?! I…I let him down, I let Tenten-nee down, I let Izumi-neechan and Iruka-sensei and your parents and everyone I've ever cared about down and I'm just…"

"It used to be that everyone hated me because of the fox," she declared quietly after a minute, "Koga helped me not care and even found people who wouldn't hate me. Now? I'd take all that hatred from them back again over this hatred I'm feeling for myself, for who I've let myself become. Did…did Tenten tell you what I've been doing for the last few weeks?"

"Aside from giving her gray hairs no," Tsubaki replied, already dreading where this was going.

"I couldn't stand it," Naruko admitted, "I couldn't stand him ignoring me, so I…I did a lot of bad things. I acted as horribly as I could, hoping he would scold me. I tried flirting with other boys to make him jealous, but his reputation did all the work and he didn't have to intervene. Then I tried flirting with older boys who didn't know him or know about him, and they all just laughed at me, so I kept working my way up until I found this…just…dirty, _repulsive_ old man and he actually seemed _interested_ and the instant he went to touch me…" she snapped her fingers, "…Boom. Koga blew his head off for it without a second thought."

She was oblivious to the absolutely horrified gaze Tsubaki had pinned on her as she rambled on, "I thought I had figured it out. I realized that he'd intervene if I was actually in any danger, and I thought that maybe then I could get him to worry about me and that would be my foothold in the door to get back to being with him. I couldn't go find another dirty old man, that wasn't fun and it took forever and I still feel kind of… _soiled_ after that, but there's a million ways to be in danger you know."

Tsubaki could've sworn she saw Naruko start to grin with something unhinged in her eyes, "That's when I found out. Koga didn't just _reinforce_ my seal, he completely modified it. Now as far as I can tell, I'm indestructible. I jumped off the fucking _monument_ and instead of going splat or him appearing out of nowhere to save me, I _bounced_. I bounced for twenty. Fucking. MINUTES!" she ranted, "Knives? They just ping off me like I'm made of steel now! Hanging myself? ZILCH! It's like my neck's made of iron! Poison gas? Nothing! Drowning? I can breathe underwater like a fish! Electricity? _Tickles!_ "

All Tsubaki could do was stare in horror. Naruko took a deep breath and let it out, "He promised me, while he was in the hospital. He promised he'd never die and he'd never let me die. I…I guess I didn't expect him to make _that_ good on it _that_ quickly. I should have, he's always been good about keeping his promises no matter how impossible they seem."

She sighed as she pulled her knees back up to her chin, "I did all that, and now I realize that every bit of it was just driving him further away because he was worried about me and hoping that if I stopped caring about him, I'd be alright." She smiled, "He's kind of weird like that you know? Always trying to do what's best for the people he cares about. I'd call him perfect, but there's one thing I found that he's never shied away from admitting, although, for me that was just kind of a bonus."

"And what would that be?" Tsubaki asked warily.

Naruko snorted with laughter, "He wants a harem. His list was me, you, and Tenten for definite inclusions, with Hinata, Sakura and Ino for possible. It's probably expanded a lot since then, I'd about bet money that Chino's on the list. For all that he's the world's biggest perv though…" she looked up at the sky and a small fond smile crossed her face, "he'd have never even looked at another girl if I hadn't been okay with it."

"I guess what I'm trying to say is don't make the mistakes I did," she declared after a moment, "He deserves better than how I treated him."

"Tell me something I don't know," Tsubaki snorted before she could catch herself.

Naruko glanced a glare at her before turning away again, "I really wish I could agree with you less about that."

After a moment of silence Naruko spoke again, "I'm going to try to become someone he can love again. If you're…ever interested and I'm ever good enough, I'd still run back to him in a heartbeat…but I admit I need some time away from him to get my head back on straight." She got to her feet and turned to walk away before stopping just at the foot of the pier to declare over her shoulder, "Just know that once I'm…back to being me again? I _will_ get him back. Someway, somehow. I still don't mind sharing, but…one day, I will get him back."

Tsubaki opened her mouth to say something and Naruko cut her off, "Oh and Tsubaki? Thanks for listening. I, really needed to get all that off my chest."

Then she was gone.

Tsubaki stared at the space where she had been for a moment and then, " _Wow_ that girl is messed up…"

…

A Few Hours Later, Not Far Off The Coast of Troy

…

Shizune hovered very protectively around Helen as the Spartan Queen stepped out onto the deck. Helen smiled, "Lady Shizune, really, I'm fine."

"You nearly fell three times on your way to the stairs," Shizune declared flatly, "Even with my healing, you're still nowhere near fully recovered."

Helen smiled, "I don't think you or Lord Koga would allow me to fall. You're too kind. Even if you did…" Menelaus seemed to Body Flicker over to her to wrap an arm around her and ask if she needed anything. She smiled and leaned into him, "I've got my big snuggle-bear here!"

Shizune smiled, _At least she does seem to be genuinely happy with him._

Then a bird flapped down and turned into Koga, "Well Your Highness, I hate to cut your fresh air time short, but you and King Snuggle-bear might want to get your cuddly royal keesters back below deck. You too Big Sis, there's a storm coming that looks like something I'd do. I'm gonna be hard pressed to keep it from sinking the whole fleet."

All three stared at him for a moment and then Menelaus shouted, "FURL THE SAILS! PULL IN THE OARS! BATTEN DOWN THE HATCHES, MAKE READY AND FIND OUT WHO PISSED OFF LORD POSEIDEN THIS TIME SO WE CAN BEAT HIM FOR IT!" All across the fleet similar shouts were ringing out as Koga's clones relayed the warning.

…

An Hour Later

…

A plume of water rose from the sea and Koga was met with the sight of a bearded fellow holding a trident sitting on top of it like a throne. The storm raged all around them but was completely unable to penetrate Koga's Senjutsu Four Crimson Rays. It couldn't keep the rain out, but the winds and waves washed against it harmlessly.

"Can I help you?" Koga called from his meditative position on the deck.

"That depends," the bearded man replied, "Are you going to drop your shield and let me sink this fleet?"

"Not a chance," Koga replied flatly, "My sister is aboard this ship and besides these are my friends' ships. I will not allow them to be sunk."

The bearded man frowned and his trident started to glow with what Koga recognized as senjutsu chakra, "So you would actively defy me?"

"Are you Poseidon?" Koga asked calmly, "You know I was a little bummed out that you didn't drop by while I was meeting everybody at Troy. Even _Hades_ showed up, and I had really been looking forward to getting to say that I got to meet the Big Three."

Poseidon stiffened, "I was…busy."

Koga nodded, "Understandable. Since we haven't met, allow me to introduce myself. I am Koga Kurohyou, now acknowledged as God of Destruction and Restoration on Olympus. May I ask what your beef with my friends' fleet is?"

"Well their army committed many acts of sacrilege while in the lands of Troy," Poseidon replied, "Temples desecrated, proper rites not enacted, more than a few murders, rapes and assorted other crimes. The general consensus was that it would be simplest to just send a storm to smash the fleet to splinters and let Hades and his panel of judges take care of it since they're the most practiced at it."

Koga nodded, "I see. Are there any particular offenders of note who you just really _really_ want to see torn to shreds?"

Poseidon thought for a moment, "Ajax. Not the big guy, he's pretty cool, the scrawny little cretin with the mean face. He raped a woman in Athena's temple and I was going to make extra sure to kill him as a way to maybe make her a little bit less angry with me for a bit."

Koga closed his eyes and a moment later the mean faced scrawny cretin in question was on the deck looking very surprised.

He looked around and Koga drawled, "Ajax the scrawny, you have been accused by Poseidon of raping a woman in the temple of Athena. How do you plead?"

Ajax the scrawny shrank in on himself as he realized who he was standing in front of, "Um, not guilty?"

Koga locked eyes with him, his Sharingan flared and Ajax the scrawny flinched just before Koga declared, "Liar. He's all yours Poseidon."

Poseidon snapped his fingers and a burst of light later, Ajax was covered in tiny wounds. Poseidon raised a hand with fingers poised to flick, "Goodbye, _chum._ " Then he flicked his fingers and Ajax the scrawny went flying overboard. He smacked into the glowing crimson wall, stuck there for a moment and then fell down into the waters below. Within minutes the water around where he had fallen was boiling with the activity of the sharks that had converged upon him.

Poseidon nodded, "That's him out of the way. Now as for the others, will you be content to let me _scatter_ their fleet?"

Koga shook his head, "They are tired and weary from war. They need to return home. If they are scattered then how much more chaos and wickedness will be spread in their frustration at not being able to do so? Let them sail home and put their blades to rest. As you said, Hades and his judges will sort them soon enough. They may scatter and have adventures on their own, but I think that those who are deserving of misfortune will find it aplenty waiting for them in Erebus. Besides, if we cut their lives short here, then they'll have no chance to redeem themselves later on will they? Is it not right to at least offer someone a chance to make right what they've done wrong?"

Poseidon considered that for a moment and then nodded, "Very well, you make a good point. I will let their previous offenses rest until such time as Hades and his judges deal with it. Well, I'll be on my way now. What did you say your name was again?"

"Koga Kurohyou, God of Destruction and Restoration," Koga replied with a smile and a wave, "It's been an honor to make your acquaintance Lord Poseidon! Happy trails to ya!"

…

The Next Day, Elsewhere

…

The massive armored figure loomed over the great quarry being dug at his feet. The immense pit had been in excavation for many months, no small number of slaves from near and far had been worked to death beneath the unnatural, rancid clouds that obscured their suffering from the sight of the sun and moon. The slaves had been gathered quietly, their abductions appearing no more than scattered raids by random pirates. In truth, nearly every pirate band within two months' sail had recently been brought under the command of the mastermind who had engineered the pit where the slaves still labored. Any who opposed him were crushed by his followers, few who were not stationed at the pit had ever had the misfortune to see him. Those who had were marked by swift, gruesome and untimely demises.

The massive figure raised his hands to the heavens and gesticulated wildly as he rambled in prose…

"And he strides among the tree tops, and is taller than the trees,

And all throughout the garden his voice is thunder sent to bring…"

He paused in his prose as hurried footsteps approached behind him, labored and nervous nasal breathing mixing with the rustle of light fabric. "What is it Kemsyt?"

His second in command snorted, his sinuses still unused to the pollen no matter how much time he spent away from his desert home, "Kamos has returned sir. He lost the trident."

Kemsyt was a far cry and study in opposites to his master. One was immense, taller than any normal man, clad only in battle armor with immense muscles mighty enough to tear trees up by their roots on full display. The other was small, wiry and mostly obscured by the heavy clothes he wore to keep the sun's rays at bay. Also notable were the differences in how they carried themselves. While the master strode and spoke with the unwavering confidence of a zealot, the servant cringed, cowered and scuttled.

"He says the Atlantean was headed for Troy," Kemsyt continued, his nerves quickening his speech as the larger of the two rolled his shoulders as if in preparation for battle, "The battle there will not last much longer once he joins the Achaeans."

"The siege at Troy is already over."

The smoothly rumbled reply made Kemsyt's heart skip in terror at having possibly brought outdated news. He gulped, in for one coin, in for the whole purse.

"Zeus could still interfere," he pointed out in worry. There was a frightened question in his statement. The possibility of reprisal from the Olympian gods had been weighing on his mind the entire time he'd been in this foreign land.

The reason for his fear was made obvious and clear as his superior whirled on him, his terrible visage glowering in a towering rage, the immense trident in his hand suddenly hovering with prongs at Kemsyt's throat. The massive fangs were bared in a fearsome scowl, the nostrils of the squashed nose were flared and between it and the horn jutting from his forehead, the cyclops's single red eye glowed with rage as he demanded, "DO YOU QUESTION ME KEMSYT?!"

Kemsyt held absolutely still after his initial step and lean back. It left him in the awkward position of being leaned back almost forty-five degrees and teetering on the verge of falling on his ass, but he was all too aware that any sudden movements were liable to send the trident ripping through his throat. He held no illusions about being impossible or even all that difficult to replace. "N-no, no! Everything is exactly as you said it would be! The fortress, the tunnel, Troy…"

The massive trident retracted as the cyclops felt his pride appeased. He turned back to the pit below and continued his prose…

"Giant and the genie… multiplex of wing and eye…

Whose strong obedience… _broke the sky…"_

He paused as a shadow flitted across his face. "Send Kamos," he growled, "I want to speak with him."

No sooner had the words left his mouth than Kemsyt turned and fled as quick as his feet could carry him with a hasty yelp of, "Yes General!"

…

 **End Chapter**

…

 **AN: Okay! That's a wrap for the aftermath of the Trojan War, next time we get to see the start of what's going to be the major ongoing conflict of the next 8 or so arcs.**

 **Sorry if this chapter was a little shorter than the last two, but the things I was thinking about stuffing into the end here were just proving far too cumbersome and difficult to write, and in my experience, that's a pretty good sign that they're just not needed. They may pop up periodically across the course of the next few arcs, but they won't be getting a concentrated clump of story dedicated to them like I had originally planned.**

 **We currently have two favorites in the poll for who Koga should bring in for the upcoming arcs, so Jiraiya and Anko are quite likely to be joining the team for the upcoming quest. Yay!**

 **One other note is that we may get to see some more of where all Koga's been prior to bumping into Arkantos and heading for Troy, as he'll probably show Athena all the places he's been and introduce her to the friends he's made. New people to meet and places to see are an Olympian God's favorite things, and Athena is one of Koga's favorite things, so as with any other girl he takes a liking to, he'll go out of his way to make sure she's happy.**

 **…**

 **NEXT TIME!**

 **…**

 **A city in ruins and centaurs in chains! A bandit army blocks the way home!**


	22. Chapter 21: Ioklos

Chapter 21: Koga's Lost Days Pt4: Ioklos

==A Week Later==

Koga shaded his eyes and let out a low whistle from where he was perched on Ajax's shoulder as he surveyed the devastated city before them, "Damn. This place looks like _I_ got a hold of it." He paid no heed to the look Ajax and Arkantos swapped each other.

"Any idea what might've done this?" Ajax asked warily.

Koga's eyes slid off to the side where his Chakra Echolocation Jutsu had just picked up a weak but active chakra signature. He bounced down from Ajax's shoulder and calmly strode over to a collapsed building. He calmly stuck his hand to a collapsed section of wall with his chakra, _Super Lightened Boulder Jutsu!_ and tossed it aside, "Hey buddy, you alright under there?"

The old man who had been trapped under the wall looked up at him in terror and Koga sighed, "Ooof course you're not." He crouched down and laid his hand to the bone sticking out of the man's leg, "Shhh…Don't worry, I'm not a very good healer, but I can fix this." He calmly pushed his chakra into the man's leg and numbed it before reaching out to gently push the bone back into position before sealing it back together and zipping the wound shut with a medical jutsu. He held out a small pill to the stunned old man, "Eat this. It'll help with the pain and blood loss."

The old man feebly took it and put it in his mouth. He tried to swallow but his mouth was so dry that he couldn't. Koga offered him some water and he quickly drank as much as he could, which proved to not be much as he grimaced in pain when it hit his stomach. "Shh…" Koga said quietly as he moved his glowing hands to the old man's stomach the same way he'd seen Shizune do for Queen Helen, "It's alright…"

Arkantos, Ajax and the small handful of soldiers that had come ashore with them watched dumbfounded as Koga gently healed the old man, kindly reassuring him as he worked. It was a stark and strange shift from the young godling who they had watched so casually, no, _gleefully_ massacre entire towns.

After a few moments, the old man was sitting and staring in awe at Koga as Koga sat next to him and shared a snack of strange white triangles. The old man's clothes were torn and filthy, little more than rags haphazardly draped over his frame. A nonchalant wave of Koga's hand found them replaced in a gentle billowing of smoke with fine dark clothes not too dissimilar to his own, and the old man's sparse hair and long beard were suddenly poofed clean as well.

Those who had arrived with Koga all knew that he was an inherently rather friendly person no matter how naturally mass destruction came to him, but it was still jarring to see him talk and laugh so easily with the old man he had just saved. Even stranger was the way the old man seemed to grow younger and healthier as Koga spoke with him. It was as though the years simply faded away. When Koga had unearthed him, the old man looked as if he could be eighty and in poor health. Now? Now he looked closer to his early sixties or even his fifties as his muscles seemed to utterly balloon with life and strength.

A few minutes later, Koga led the old man over, "Arkantos, Ajax, team, this here's Egor. He's a local farmer who was in town when the attack happened. Egor, can you tell us anything about what happened?"

Egor nodded, "It was an army! There must've been a hundred of them! With all our soldiers away at Troy, and with them storming the city right on the heels of the earthquake, we couldn't even come close to stopping them."

"What kind of armor were they wearing?" Arkantos asked, "Did they bear any sort of flag?"

Egor shook his head, "No, they looked like ordinary bandits, except they were well armed and highly coordinated. Many of them had dark skin, and among them were horrible monsters. I do not know what god would grant the creation of such beasts, but they were like men with the heads of horrible vicious dogs."

Arkantos went stiff as his eyes widened, " _Kamos._ "

Koga raised an eyebrow as Ajax looked at Arkantos in surprise. "The minotaur guy I fried?" Koga asked. "You know who was behind this?" Egor asked.

Arkantos nodded, "Yes, those dog headed men are a staple of his forces. They hail from somewhere far to the south, that's why they are not well known here. Was there a minotaur with a curved blade in place of his hand leading them?"

Egor shook his head regretfully, "I am sorry, I saw no such creature. They didn't seem to be taking orders from anyone, they all knew exactly what they were doing."

"Which was…?" Ajax asked warily.

Egor gulped, "It was a slave hunt. They came at us with nets and slings, capturing anyone they could before dragging them away and brutally beating or killing those who resisted. I was able to hear everything, and I told my son and daughter to flee." His fists clenched, "I have no idea if they escaped or not. They found me not long after I told my children to flee, but those fiends decided to let me suffer rather than put me out of my misery."

Arkantos ground his teeth, "Damned _pirates…_ "

Egor shook his head, "I do not think so sir, my daughter specifically said _bandits_ , not pirates."

Koga turned to glare into the ruins of the city, "He's right, there's one hell of a track beaten out the north side of town. It's old, but there's still a lot of old blood and bodies around what used to be the north wall, and all the blood trails I can find look like they're headed inland."

Arkantos frowned, "They came from inland?"

Koga nodded, "Something smells fishy. Egor, you said you know the area pretty well right? Any towns north of here where they might have set up camp?"

Egor nodded, "Yes, there are several towns inland, but I haven't heard any rumors of something like this happening prior to well, all of this." He gestured to the ruined city.

Koga nodded, "Well then I guess I need to go have me a little look around don't I?"

"A-all by yourself young lord?" Egor asked.

Koga smiled, "I'm sorry Egor, I never properly introduced myself did I? I am Koga, recently acknowledged on Olympus as the God of Destruction and Restoration. Don't worry, I'll be fine." Then he disappeared in a breath of wind.

…

…

…

Half an hour later, Egor still couldn't believe it. "For the millionth time old man," Ajax declared irritably, " _YES_ he's a god!"

Then Koga's voice echoed from seemingly nowhere, "Hey Ajax? Arkantos? Mind if I borrow you two for a few minutes? I want some input on this."

"Uh, sure…" Ajax replied a little warily. Then he froze as the world seemed to flash and shift before his eyes.

When the world settled, he found himself staring at a very irate and tired Koga sitting on top of a boulder with the corpses of over a dozen immense serpents lying around him, each riddled with knives. "This may seem like a _weeee_ bit of an odd question," Koga drawled, "But would _anyone_ like to explain to me why my magic barely _scratches_ these things? Because for the first time since my ascent to virtual godhood, I had to resort to riddling my opponents with knives. Not even _enhanced_ knives because my enhancements _shut down_ when they hit these things, and that makes me both very curious and very, _VERY_ frustrated, especially since these things, _SPIT_."

"Spit?" Ajax asked in confusion. Koga pointed at the tree next to him and Ajax lurched back in shock as he realized the tree had an immense crater in it that looked almost like it had melted. "Oh… _That_ kind of spit…"

Koga nodded, "As you can imagine, _I have not been having fun these last ten minutes. TEN! MINUTES!_ That is an utterly _absurd_ amount of time for me to need to kill _anything!_ I've massacred entire _armies_ in less time than that! Fucking snakes should not be this damn tough!" He ranted as he hopped down and kicked one angrily.

It was almost funny to see the normally mature and composed Koga basically pitching a hissy fit like an actual little kid, Ajax mused. Only almost though because the fact remained that he _could_ lay waste to entire armies in mere minutes and that made the thought of him getting legitimately angry enough to lose his cool... frightening to say the least.

"Lady Athena mentioned that your magic was different from hers and that of most gods," Arkantos mused after a moment, "Perhaps that is why your magic does not affect them?"

Koga opened his mouth to reply. Then he closed it back and thought about it, then he cursed and stomped his foot, "You're right. Senjutsu. They run on fucking _senjutsu,_ which means all invasive and direct offensive jutsu are utterly _useless_ unless empowered with senjutsu of my own to counteract it, which means I've gotta turn the seal on which I _can't_ because the rebirth system is using it right now!" He proceeded to spit every curse and swearword Ajax and Arkantos knew, and quite a few they didn't as he stomped one of the serpent's corpses in frustration.

After a few minutes of cursing and stomping he looked at them, "These magical beasts, how do you guys fight them?"

"Celestial bronze like that trident of yours hurts them pretty bad," Ajax supplied, "That's what mine and Arkantos's spears are made of. It's really rare stuff, if I didn't know you were a god yourself I'd be stunned you had enough for the actual _shaft_ of your trident."

Koga blinked at him in surprise and his trident appeared in his hand for him to observe curiously before looking at Ajax and pointing to the trident in his hand, "So this hurts them?"

Ajax and Arkantos nodded. "The sacred energies of Celestial Bronze are close enough to badly disrupt the flow of magic within the creatures," Arkantos explained, "It was explained to me as being like throwing a stone into a river. It creates a fearsome ripple and disrupts the entire flow through that area of the creature's body, thus it drastically weakens and harms the beast. Celestial Bronze is worth far more than its weight in gold because of that, and only the greatest warriors are permitted to use it due to its rarity."

Koga eyed his trident appreciatively, "Well, good thing I've got this then. Are there any other metals which might be a little easier to find which share similar properties?"

Arkantos thought about it for a moment, "Orichalcum is a mixture of Celestial Bronze and Abyssal Iron, and it possesses stronger anti-magical properties. Even a single percent of it in any metal's make up is said to be enough to ward off mystical beasts and influences, but as Celestial Bronze is one of its components, it is actually even _more_ difficult to obtain. I am sorry, I do not know of any other materials which can effectively counter mystical beasts. As you have seen, they _are_ vulnerable to mortal weapons, but they are extremely difficult to kill with them."

Koga growled and twirled his trident in his hands in what Ajax seriously wondered to be a nervous tic, "I don't like only having one effective weapon…" He grimaced, growled and muttered as he prowled among the corpses of his fallen serpentine foes.

Ajax watched him for a moment and then nudged Arkantos, "Hey Arkantos, you said you've got a grudge against these bandits right?"

Arkantos nodded, "If they're affiliated with Kamos then it's my life's goal to see them and all their allies brought to justice."

Ajax asked him very seriously, "I know _my_ men will make it home if I go with Lord Koga to help him with this. Will yours?"

Arkantos stiffened slightly and then nodded, "Yes, I can trust Zethos to get the men home."

Ajax nodded, "Good, 'cause the kid's out of his element, and even if we didn't owe him for Troy, he's kinda grown on me. We should help him with this."

"We should," Arkantos sighed.

"Glad you agree," Ajax replied before calling, "Hey Lord Koga! I know you're used to working on your own, but would you like some help with this? We've got experience with creatures like these and we are pretty familiar with these lands, maybe we can help you out?"

Koga looked over at him and then shouldered his trident and nodded, "Yeah, yeah I'd like that. Thanks Ajax, Arkantos." He scratched his head, "We should head back, let your guys know, round up any you want to bring along. I've marked our spot so we can get back without losing any time in the morning…" A moment later the world shifted again and the three found themselves back at Ioklos.

…

…

…

The next morning Koga teleported himself, Ajax and Arkantos back to where he had battled the spitting serpents. His eyes flashed red for a moment and then he nodded and pointed north, "Right, trail goes this way."

So saying, he Body Flickered away. Ajax and Arkantos blinked at the spot where he'd been and then realized that yes, he _had_ just taken off without them again. "KOGAAA! WAIT UP!" Ajax shouted.

Koga's voice sounded off a moment later, "Oops, sorry, forgot you guys can't Body Flicker…hang on."

The world blurred around them and they got the sensation of flying forward, then the world slammed to a halt and they both nearly face planted. They caught themselves narrowly and looked up to find Koga forming what looked like a strange, partially covered, metal wagon. Koga was currently waist deep upside down in the covered end of the wagon, "Be done in a minute!"

"What's that?" Ajax asked in confusion.

"Is it, some kind of wagon?" Arkantos mused.

"You could say that," Koga declared as he pushed himself back up out of the front and jumped to catch the cover and slam it down before patting it with a grin, "Gentlemen, say hello to the world's first automobile!"

"Aw…toe…mobile?" Ajax asked slowly.

"A wagon that pulls itself," Koga clarified, taking some satisfaction in the looks of understanding dawning on Ajax and Arkantos' faces. "In the future people will be able to use materials from the earth to power them, but I don't have time to go dig any of the usual fuels up," Koga explained as he walked around and opened a door, motioning for Ajax and Arkantos to get into the cushioned seat, "So I'm powering this one with my magic, which is also a lot better for the environment. If this gets implemented as a major thing, then I'll probably try to keep that thing about the earthen fuels under wraps since they're pretty nasty for the environment and can lead to some nasty business since the economies these little beauties are introduced to rapidly become rather dependent on the technology behind them."

"See those little belts? They go across your waist and the little clasp slots into the holder on your other side. Buckle up or you might get bounced out. These roads aren't smooth," Koga added as he slid into the front seat.

Arkantos and Ajax immediately buckled up. "Right," Koga grinned as goggles materialized on his face, "Let's see what this baby can DOOOH SHIT I MADE IT TOO STRONG!" He shouted in panic as the car roared to life and shot down the trail, up the hill and off into the sky like a rocket.

For just an instant, the three could see everything for what seemed like a hundred miles. Then gravity snatched them and hurled them back to earth like a meteor.

…

…

…

Half an hour later, Koga's guilt stricken tears still hadn't stopped, and he couldn't look at the wreckage. There wasn't much left other than a crumpled heap of metal, and it had only taken a glance to know that human bodies weren't supposed to look like that. Even what he'd done to the shinobi of Kumo hadn't been as gruesome as the mangled mess that was left in the back seat. Even his best attempts to slow their fall hadn't been enough.

 _It's all my fault…_ had been his approximately third thought, and it was now playing on a loop in his mind.

Then Ajax walked over, "Hey Koga, you alright?" He pushed his head to one side and cracked his neck, "Was it supposed to do that?" Koga didn't answer immediately and Ajax looked over his shoulder at Arkantos, "Hey Arkantos, quit lollygagging, I've seen you get up from worse than that!"

"Keep in mind," Arkantos grumbled as he pushed himself back upright, "I'm not as young as I used to be…" he spat out a mouthful of blood and dirt, "and you're still a lot younger than me!"

"Only five years!" Ajax protested, "What, do you want me to call you _grandpa_ or something?" Arkantos just groaned in exasperation as he pulled himself to his feet and popped his back. Ajax grinned with a light snicker, "Don't hurt yourself there _Gramps._ So Koga, are you gonna try to rebuild that magic wagon of yours or what?"

It was then that he realized Koga was staring at him in utterly silent shock. Ajax shifted uncomfortably, "What?"

 _"_ _HOW THE HELL ARE YOU TWO ALIVE?!"_

==Half an Hour Later, Konoha==

Anko's head snapped up as someone knocked at the door. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and shook her head, blearily glancing at the clock the R&D head had insisted on having installed after the umpteenth time he'd caught her passed out at her dissection table. She internally cursed, _There's no way it's still Wednesday…_

She shook her head and straightened her lab coat before taking a step towards the door. She felt a brief instant of panic as she felt her balance begin to give, her knees far too weak from lack of sleep. She caught herself narrowly on a different table and ground her teeth in frustration, _DEFINITELY not Wednesday…_ She shook her head and looked at the door, "Come on in, it's open!"

The door opened quietly and a small figure slipped in before shutting the door behind him. Anko's blood ran cold as she recognized the boy who had given her so many wonderful test subjects. Just because she was terribly thrilled at having so much new material to work with didn't mean she wanted the source paying her visits in her lab…her very, very isolated and soundproof lab where nobody could hear her scream if he decided he wanted to study _her_ the way the pasty bastard had "studied" so many of _his_ subjects and oh god why had she thought about that and now it was way too easy to see those orange eyes turning yellow and slit pupiled and a forked tongue under that mask and…

Anko lurched back against her table and her hand landed on her scalpel, her eyes wide as her mind raced with paranoia, "What do you want?"

Koga frowned, "Anko-sensei, are you alright?" He tilted his head as his brow furrowed, then after studying her for a moment he asked, "How long have you been awake?"

"This morning," Anko replied, completely unaware of how much she was slurring her words.

"You _look_ like you haven't slept in a week," Koga told her bluntly.

Anko flinched slightly, "Uh…I don't guess it's still Wednesday... is it?"

"It'll be _Tuesday_ in about an hour _,_ " Koga replied flatly.

Anko flinched and scratched the back of her head with a sheepish laugh, "OH! Eh, hehe…" her sheepish grin reversed into a worried look, "please don't tell anyone, Lord Hokage threatened to have me locked out of my own lab if I went more than forty-eight hours straight again."

Koga waved his hand in a dismissive gesture with a flat look, "No problem, but I need you at the top of your game."

Anko's nerves were immediately back to sky high and spinning like a twister, "Fooor…?"

"I think I've discovered a new kekkai genkai in the lands far to the west," Koga replied, "If I'm _right_ and we can harvest it, then it's nothing shy of the most valuable bloodline the world has ever seen."

Anko took a second to register that and then an excited grin spread across her face, " _Show me."_

"You need to re…" _WHAM-POOF!_ Anko lunged across the room and tried to slam Koga to the door only to discover he was a Shadow Clone. She frowned and looked around, quickly spotting him perched on the table giving her a very unimpressed flat look. "You need. TO REST." He reiterated.

Anko took a second to think about it and then smiled slyly at him before sauntering across to him and leaning in very close. She was completely unaware that her saunter was a shamble and that her intentionally intimate proximity was ruined by her breath smelling like a landfill since she hadn't brushed her teeth in nearly a week. "Come on cutie…" she purred (slurred), "You can't just get me all excited like that and then leave me hanging…"

Koga's expression didn't change and the next thing Anko knew she was unconscious.

…

…

…

Anko snapped wide awake and sat bolt upright. Her eyes darted around and she immediately realized she was in her bedroom at her apartment. She looked down and realized she was still wearing the clothes she'd had on under her lab coat, which was neatly draped over her closet door. _How did I…_ Then her nose detected the scent of bacon cooking and she immediately pulled a kunai before sneaking towards the kitchen.

"Wooow…" Koga drawled from the stove without looking up, "twenty-six hours _straight_. Breakfast is almost done."

Anko paled slightly as she took in the tiny form calmly cooking her breakfast and then shook her head, "Kid, what are you doing in my apartment?"

Koga paused and turned to look at her, "I brought you home when I found you almost too tired to stand in your lab. How's your research coming?"

Anko stiffened slightly and then sighed, "Total dead end on the Swift Release line. I've cut that guy into damn near mincemeat and I still can't figure out how it works."

Koga nodded, "That's because it's a secret jutsu not a kekkai genkai. Took me a while too, but when I started digging through the data I swiped," He held out a hand and a scroll materialized in it just in time for him to toss it to her. Anko deftly snagged it from the air and started reading, going slightly pale as she saw the answers to all the questions she'd been struggling with laid bare. Anko's hands trembled slightly as Koga continued, "It became obvious pretty quick."

He scooped the bacon out of the frying pan onto a plate right as the toast popped from the toaster and then he dumped a generous helping of scrambled eggs from the second skillet on the stovetop out onto the plate. An instant later it appeared on the bar in front of Anko alongside a glass which quickly filled itself with coffee and cream. Anko watched in shock and then reached out to take a sip. She grimaced as the taste hit her tongue, _Perfect._

"Um, kid?" She asked tentatively, "Did we have sex last night or something?"

"Eh?" Koga tilted his head in legitimate confusion, "Nooo…? What gave you that idea?"

Anko blushed slightly, "Well…you're here, in my apartment, and, you're cooking breakfast, _really good breakfast…_ and I…the last thing I remember is trying to seduce you. Isn't…isn't cooking breakfast what you do after sex?"

Koga blinked at her in confusion for several seconds and Anko could swear she heard the gears in his head trying really, _really_ hard to process what he was hearing. The confusion on his face said it all and Anko clenched her fists as she scrunched her eyes shut, _Kami how could I have been so stupid?! He's just a kid! What was I thinking?! Now he's probably going to laugh at me and he's totally right to and Kami I am such an IDIOT…_

Then small but surprisingly thick arms wrapped around her waist and Anko's eyes popped open in surprise, "Huh?"

"Can't I just be nice to you?" Koga asked as he looked up at her from right between her breasts with an earnest innocent smile. Anko's brain screeched to a halt as it tried to process that. Then Koga buried his face in her breasts, "That being said," he declared in a slightly muffled voice, "I _am_ Jiraiya's student, so even though we didn't, I still very happily _would_ if you wanted to." Just as Anko was about to slap him and beat the perversion out of him, he looked up at her slyly, " _If_ of course I could get Tsubaki-chan to be okay with it, which she probably wouldn't be."

Then suddenly the bar was between them again and he spread his hands to indicate the breakfast, "Go on, _eat._ It won't be as good cold!"

Anko struggled to understand what had just happened and then as she sat down and picked up her fork, "You are one weird kid you know that?"

Koga stiffened slightly and it wasn't lost on Anko how his fingers clenched. Right about then, Anko remembered what Koga was capable of as the angry shadow briefly passed over his eyes and she felt herself go pale as he hung his head.

"I _know_ I'm weird," Koga growled softly, and Anko felt suddenly very sure that she was about to die, "That doesn't mean I like hearing about it from people I like."

Anko flinched like she'd been slapped. She'd been called weird a lot too, especially after the pasty bastard's betrayal. She grimaced, "You're right, that was rude of me. I'm sorry."

Uncomfortable silence reigned for a moment and then, "…You…like me?"

Koga nodded, his gaze now unwaveringly boring into hers, "You're brilliant, strong, independent, confident and gorgeous. What's _not_ to like?"

Anko took a split second to process that and then blushed crimson. That was the most anyone had actually complimented her in…since the pasty bastard. "You don't have to butter me up kid…" she grumbled after a moment.

Koga pulled himself up effortlessly so he could lean across the bar until he was mere inches from her face. Anko leaned back from that fierce orange gaze and then Koga declared in a deadly serious voice, "I do butter on _toast_ , and other breakfast items. _I do not butter people._ They taste disgusting no matter _how_ much butter you put on them."

Anko took a second to process that and then a small snigger escaped her as she tried hard not to grin. Then Koga grinned at her mischievously and she couldn't hold it anymore. Koga slid back across the bar to butter his own piece of toast as Anko laughed so hard she nearly fell from her bar stool.

 _AN: Hey everybody, sorry for the long wait on this one! Been juggling a few other projects and recently got a promotion to office help rather than field help, so my workload has transferred from mostly physical to almost entirely mental, and the daily drain has transferred with it. Still adjusting so my output's suffering a bit due to me needing to just turn my brain off for a while when I get home. Don't worry, stuff's still cookin' and my cookin's still good._

 _Recently binged my way through everything available of "Rising of the Shield Hero" and the entirety of "Saga of Tanya the Evil". Anyone who hasn't checked them out, if you enjoy my work then I strongly recommend them as the characters are ON POINT to how I'd write characters in those situations. Seriously, if you haven't watched them, GO WATCH._

 _The odds of me doing a fanfic of either of them are slim as there's very VERY little I would actually change, but if I hear enough people wanting it, then I just might have to look into it._

 _Anyway on the topic of this story, next time we'll be getting to the bit I mentioned at the end of the last chapter about "centaurs in chains" and we'll get to see Koga, Ajax, Arkantos and Anko all interacting and taking a city that Koga's trying really hard not to tear up anymore than it already is, which will be a challenge for him since as you've seen, he's a "NUKE IT! :D" sort of guy._

 _As always comments are always deeply appreciated._

 _Til next time, Ghost out!_


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